Just cancel my baby shower!

[tnrnchick74]

So a friend at work wanted to organize my baby shower. How we do things here at this job is someone organizes the place, time, group gift and people sign up to go. Food is always bought by each individual person (showers usually held at a local resteraunt).

So this friend wanted to organize it for my baby shower...great! And the schedule is tight because of weddings, other showers, vacations, etc. So we settled on a date of May 4 (a sunday) after work. We all knew some people wouldn't be able to make it.

The sign up sheet just was put up in the lounge today - and already 5 people have told me they can't make it due to whatever reason. These are 5 of my closest friends. I'm thinking that if my closest friends have better things to do, then maybe I should just tell the friend who is organizing it to cancel and forget the whole thing.

This is my first, and probably only baby. The "father" has decided he wants very little to do with me or the baby. My Mom is supportive, but...she likes to rub it in my face that the father is less than stellar. So I feel like my little boy is being robbed of the nice new things that everyone else receives. All because of when he is being born.

I'm having a bad day anyways...I just want to curl up and cry until May.

Thanks for listening to my whine.

[Bean606]

I am so sorry this is happening to you! But, I'd say go ahead with the shower anyway. Your son (and you) deserves all the gifts he gets from the guests who do come! It's a chance to celebrate your pregnancy and your son's upcoming birth. Try not to think about who isn't there, and focus on the people who do come.

[saschalicks]

I think you should be 100% honest w/the host. Tell her that you really need your friends right now b/c of the way things are going otherwise. Tell her that if she could please talk to all of the people and see what day most (not all) can come. Don't get upset about anything, just tell her it really hurts your feelings and you need her to helpyou have a wonderful shower.

I'm sorry you are going through this. GL!

[saschalicks]

sorry double post

[almostsane]

Bless your heart. I have been following your story and you need some big hugs.:hug: :hug5: I agree with the pp in that maybe you could talk to the hostess and reschedule if it is possible. Hope your day gets better.

[tnrnchick74]

I wish changing the date was an option...but we've already changed it 3 times due to major conflicts. We can't go much later because I will be VERY close to delivery...we can't go earlier because every weekend has a shower, wedding, or graduation of some sort OR we can't get a room in a restaurant

I feel really bad for my friend trying to organize this mess...she's more stressed than I am. It's not anyone's fault, just the nature of summer babies. It just always seems to suck for me...

then there is the "baby's daddy" ongoing drama...

[MamaMolly]

It sucks when your shower isn't what you want. :( I was in such a similar situation just about 2 years ago. And to avoid totally hijacking your post I just deleted most of my reply ;)

But you are not alone, and you and DC really do deserve to have a great shower. I like the PPs suggestion to speak to the hostess. And you know, you don't necessarily have to have the shower before DC arrives. My sister had one after, and no one batted an eye. The folks invited will all know that it is being delayed to accommodate the guests that are important to you having a nice time.

Big hugs to you, Mama!

[deannanb]

I agree with PP...
have the shower after the baby is born.
you only need a few items when baby is born -

Good Luck!

[MontrealMum]

So sorry to hear that you are going through all this :( I had a less than happy shower experience this past year and can empathize to an extent...I feel bad for both you and your friend.

I hosted a shower after the baby was born for my bff a few years back after the baby was born, since things were busy for her, and I don't live in the same town anymore - so travel was difficult for me. We had it at my mom's, and nearly everyone was able to come since it was planned really far in advance. My friend brought the baby and everyone cooed over her. It also gave my friend a chance to get out of the house to a *safe* place (you get really stir-crazy), with plenty of people willing to help out entertaining and holding the baby - and even changing diapers! I think it went really well, and if you and your friend are both ammenable to something like this, I'd say go for it.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I'm sorry yet another thing isn't going well for you. I hope it ends up a happy day no matter who shows up. :hug:

[JillSP]

You can have a bad day today. Tomorrow is a new day.

I would consider not asking your friend to reschedule the shower. Just because your closest friends can't make it doesn't mean the shower isn't going to be any fun. And a shower shouldn't be a blatant gift grab, but rather is an opportunity to celebrate the joyous event with the mom.

It is a bummer your closest friends can't make it, but if they are really good friends (1) I am sure the conflict is legitimate; and (2) they will give you something anyway.

It will all be OK. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but the next day, or the day after.

[tnrnchick74]

Today is a better day. I talked with my friend and because of the MANY coworkers that are pregnant...(at last count there are 20 of us due to deliver this summer) its going to be WAY too hard to reschedule either before or after the birth.

that's ok. I know my close friends who can't come are not meaning to be mean - they have lives and things come up. I'm sure I will be going to some of the other baby showers this summer while on maternity leave...so its not like I won't see them. And it's not about gifts...though the gifts will help IMMENSELY since I'm going to be a single parent.

Thanks for letting me vent yesterday. Today is a little better...not much, but a little...

[SnuggleBuggles]

I would bet that your close friends (and even some you aren't that close with) will buy a baby gift and just give it to you at another time. Just b/c they can't make it to the shower doesn't mean they don't want to get the baby a present. :)

Beth

[Kungjo]

Awww......it sucks when that happens. If you feel that you're not getting the support you need from your friends right now due to schedule conflicts and you really want them there, how about having a Baby Celebration "after" the baby is born? Have it a few months after the baby is born and introduce him/her to everyone.

Hugs!!!

[Melanie]

I'm sorry. I'm glad you are able to see that they are still close friends and are probably as upset as you.