Anyone could share with me your IVF or PGD experience? [Archive]

traumarn

04-09-2008, 02:05 AM

after several attempts with IUI that didn't work, my wife and i have just(8weeks ago) had a successful implantation with IVF...
we elected not to do the gender selection, due to it costing $3500 more(at the dr we used)
the cost of the ivf itself was $11500 + about 3K in drugs....these numbers, though are WIDELY variable...some drs charge more and offer a guarantee/ partial money back if no success(as much as 50-75%).(though, as with myself and my wife, we are both over 35, so no dr we looked into would give more than 10-15% back for failure)
ome of the figures we found ranged up to $20-25K for the treatment and may or may not include drugs(usually doesn't).the cost of the drugs can vary widely depending on what needs to be done to get your body 'ready' and to produce eggs.
eggs are another story...the goal is to get as many vialble/good sized eggs as possible and pull them at once(they sedate you for this, and you may need 1 or 2 vicodins later that day).they will freeze any extra eggs, beyond what will be re-implanted(usually 2, but this you talk to the dr about ahead of time).then, if the 1 st treatment fails, you need very little drugs to a 2nd ivf the next month, usually only for the cost of the procedure- $2-4K.
hope this helps...if you have any more questions, reply and i'll get to it over the next few nights(i'm working, and it's slow)
good luck!

Momof3Labs

04-09-2008, 08:03 AM

Are you only considering it for gender selection? Then your insurance won't cover it (some insurances do provide IVF benefits otherwise). Costs vary widely, and also vary depending on whether you pay cash up front, forego any "guarantees" or refunds based on the success. They also vary based on how much they do - assisted hatching costs more, for example.

Consider, too, that there is a fairly high incidence of multiples with IVF. Are you up for that?

Best thing that you can do is find a good RE in your area and do a consultation. You'll get a lot more info on their protocol and costs.

BTW, my IVF baby is beautiful, healthy and happy, as are most all IVF babies.

BillK

04-09-2008, 08:19 AM

It's been a while - but back when we did em - we dropped approximately 10k each try not including the meds (which were covered under our health insurance at the time). The IVF was not covered under health insurance.

All 5 were unsuccessful - at which point we moved on to adoption. I only wish we'd have moved on to adoption after the first failure rather than thinking "one more try and it'll work".

carolinamama

04-09-2008, 10:04 AM

Not sure you will need IVF for gender selection alone. Plus insurance wouldn't cover any of it unless it was truly for infertility, depending on your insurance. However, there is a process where the sperm is separated by gender and IUI can be used, rather than IVF for people with a history of successful pregnancies. I am not sure where you are located geographically, but the clinic that has the patent on the process is in Virginia and I know someone going to VA to have it done. It is called MicroSort and you can google it to get more information. Other clinics around the US will ship your sample to VA to have the MicroSort process done, but many also require you to then have IVF.

Like I said, I only know this info because a friend is going through this since she has 3 of one gender and would like to balance out their family. So I don't know the specifics and don't bank on what I wrote above. It's second-hand information. Good Luck. I believe that the success rates are pretty good for this procedure though.

tmarie

04-09-2008, 10:37 AM

As someone who has gone through IVF twice (both resulted in pregnancies, thank god) I would NEVER go through IVF just for gender selection. We had to do IVF to get pregnant due to infertility problems. The drugs and procedure itself made me so sick and emotionally nuts. I was in so much pain and so bloated after the procedure I was in bed for over a week. Understand that with IVF you are injecting yourself with high levels of hormones...there are risks. I know of two people who hyperstimmed and almost died. That said, I was willing to go through it to have a child. But for gender selection alone....I would read some books on IVF so you really understand what you are jumping into. And by all means make sure that you are comfortable with multiples. We have great insurance but it does not cover infertility benefits (not all states mandate coverage). We paid in excess of $10,000 per cycle, additional for assisted hatching. We did not do PGD.

tmarie
5/05
7/08

SammyeGail

04-09-2008, 11:39 AM

How's about the baby? Completely healthy like the natural conceive way?

Wow, what a statement. Thanks so much for that comment from a mom who went thru 8 years of infertility and spent about $50,000.

Thanks for the reminder that IVF could somehow be the reason my son just received, a month ago, a DX of Autism at the age of 28 months.

Please just be thankful for what happy healty children you do and may have in the future.

Samantha

erosenst

04-09-2008, 12:32 PM

As PP's have said, the cost of IVF varies widely. And PGD, which is needed for gender selection, adds to the cost. The risk of multiples increases greatly, which also adds to costs. Lastly, many labs will not do gender selection unless it's for genetic diseases. (ie hemophilia or other gender related genetic defects/mutations)

And there are NO known links between IVF and birth defects, problems after births, etc...except those related to all multiple births where that is the case. (ie risk of preemies and related difficulties).

Samantha - I PM'd you

Emily

bethie_73

04-09-2008, 01:53 PM

As someone who also went through years of infertility treatment (including 2 years of trying to convince the DR that I had an issue), I would not choose IVF if not necessary. The drugs are not enjoyable (neither is the OHSS like I had), and it it not cost effective :)

That said I do not believe the IVF or and ART cause issues or birth defects. I have not met any children that were conceived through ART that are any different than any "naturally conceived" baby. I have not read any studies recently, but I know many women who have visited a RE.

My son is 26 months and healthy, and as of his last visit to the Ped "on track for an average 3 yr old". And even if he wasn't, I'm blessed to have him in my life.

I wanted to add, someone mentioned IUI, you should know that there is a higher risk of multiples with an IUI, as they can not control the number if eggs, and therefore the number of eggs fertilized, so if you overstim etc, the procedure could be canceled based on your RE's recommendation.

TaChapm

04-09-2008, 04:09 PM

We had Jackson through IVF and I would NOT recommend it just for being able to select the gender. There are a lot of docs and labs who will not do it for either because they feel like it is crossing a line making cookie cutter babies.

IVF is extremely difficult to go through and is so hard on your body. The hormones, shots, blood work and doctors appointments are insaine. It is a very time consuming and expensive process that takes a toll both physically and mentally. We paid around $15,000 for IVF with Jackson and another $6,000 for another frozen cycle. Our insurance did not cover any of our IVF. Gender selection would add several thousand to that total as well.

Jackson is a perfectly normal and healthy baby! I don't think there is any connection between birth defects and IVF.

If you are infertile and hoping to have a baby IVF is a wonderful thing. I am so thankful for that technology that helped us have Jackson and would do it a thousand times over with the hopes of having a baby. I would not however go through it for recreational purposes just to be able to select the gender of my child. It is way too difficult of a process to go through!

If your heart is set on having a specific gender what about sperm spinning. I know the technology isn't as guaranteed as IVF but it is an option that might increase your chances.

MamaMolly

04-09-2008, 06:03 PM

We also have DD thanks to the miracle of IVF. We did it while we were living overseas so the cost for us was much less, only about $5,000 including all of my OB visits up to 7 months. Yup, for everything! It was truly our last resort and truly a blessing for us.

IVF isn't a casual thing like getting a filling. I did what I did and made it through the really bad stuff because we were not going to have a baby any other way. It took a lot of commitment and sacrifice. I had to have 2 weeks off of work on bedrest after the embryo transfer. Not fun! But worse than that were the medicines. One of the hardest parts was the injections. At one point I had to have 4 a day for 11 days in my thighs, butt or belly. And DH really wanted to help but couldn't bring himself to do it, so I had to learn to give them to myself. It wasn't a picnic to do, but it was totally worth it for our beautiful, healthy NORMAL child. And can I just say I'm chalking your question about that up to ignorance and that I'm working on forgiving you.

Now as for your other question, it never came up to do gender identification. And until your post I honestly didn't even know it was an option. And I just gotta say: ICK! I'd like to suggest you get on your knees and thank your maker that you are able to have a baby without having to go through the expense and pain of IVF. And maybe while you are down there you can put in a polite request for the gender of your choice.

Yup. Still working on forgiving you, I guess...

o_mom

04-09-2008, 06:12 PM

If you are only interested in sex selection (I'll reserve judgement on that) then I suggest you google "shettles method" and start there. If that isn't enough for you, then the MicroSort mentioned by a PP would be the next level. I cannot imagine a doctor with a shred of ethics doing IVF purely for sex selection. ....and I hope that your post was hastily typed and you are planning on an edit.

tnrnchick74

04-09-2008, 06:18 PM

I did infertility treatments for over 5 years - was never able to get pregnant...and somehow, someway a miracle happened and I got pregnant "the natural way" (the term I HATE since it has a derogatory connotation to those struggling with infertility).

When doing IVF I had the option of doing gender selection - the technology was being tested, so it wasn't guaranteed. I decided NOT to do that because, quite frankly, people who got pregnant "the natural way" don't get a choice so why should I!

IVF and infertility treatments in general are expensive, time consuming, frustrating, emotional, and sometimes denegrating. I would not wish that rollercoaster on anyone, though I am very glad that option is available for those who need it.

Working in an NICU, we see a lot of IVF babies who have "issues"...but that's what an NICU is! A place for babies with "issues". Most of the IVF babies we take care of are multiples, and others who deliver early for whatever reason. If those babies had been "natural" would they still have delivered early? Quite possibly. So I do not believe there is a direct correlation between IVF and having a "normal" vs "abnormal" child. And NO ONE is guaranteed a "normal" child - no matter whether "natural" or IVF or conceived in any other way!

To the OP - I think you have gotten a lot of great info in this thread. I certainly hope that you would not use reproductive technologies as a way to "Create" the child of your chosen gender. Maybe that's one of the benefits of adoption?? You can state your preference as to the gender.

I'm thankful everyday that I AM pregnant, am carrying a child that appears to be healthy, and that I got the gender that was preselected...I didn't have any choice :)

thomma

04-09-2008, 06:51 PM

How's about the baby? Completely healthy like the natural conceive way?

Other than the one with the 3 heads, they seem okay.

IVF is no walk in the park and, personally, wouldn't consider it for gender selection. After 4 years of IF treatments I just wanted a baby.

Kim
ds&dd 5/03

egoldber

04-09-2008, 07:03 PM

I have a good friend who considered it. She had two boys and really, really wanted a girl. She got all the info and went so far as to have the preliminary consult. Ultimately, she and her DH decided that if they really wanted to have a girl, then they would adopt a girl. Right now their plans for a #3 are on hold.

kusumat

04-09-2008, 07:16 PM

Now as for your other question, it never came up to do gender identification. And until your post I honestly didn't even know it was an option. And I just gotta say: ICK! I'd like to suggest you get on your knees and thank your maker that you are able to have a baby without having to go through the expense and pain of IVF. And maybe while you are down there you can put in a polite request for the gender of your choice.

Yup. Still working on forgiving you, I guess...

I don't mean to offend anyone. And if I did, I am sorry. I just try to gather info from people who had real life experience, not just from physicians.

As I am approaching mid 30 and hope to return to work force(currently SAHM), having the #4 will make my way back to my career harder. With #3, I will be away only 5 yrs which is still easy to get my job back. Beyond that, I am not so sure.

MamaMolly

04-09-2008, 10:20 PM

I don't mean to offend anyone. And if I did, I am sorry. I just try to gather info from people who had real life experience, not just from physicians.

Fair enough. And I'm sorry I jumped on you. But the way I see it is that having a baby, any baby, is a crap shoot. You don't know if what you get will be 'normal' or 'healthy' any more than you know (initially at first) if you are getting a boy or a girl. Even adoption doesn't guarantee against a genetic issue coming up, or an environmental issue happening. Lead paint, that vaccine you got, standing too close to the microwave...who knows?? It might have an effect, it might be nothing. In our case, DD has food allergies. Do I think it has to do with being IVF, not in the least. I think it has everything to do with DH's family history.

But honestly, the tone of your initial post really concerns me. I know you have your reasons for wanting to round out your family, but if I read it correctly you state that if you don't get your preferred gender for DC #3, then you will 'try again' for #4. Please take the time now to consider how this will sound to DC #3, and choose your words carefully. I have a feeling it will matter.

SammyeGail

04-10-2008, 12:09 AM

I wanted to reply to this earlier, several PP mentioned multiples. With twins you have a high risk pregnancy and your twins could be born premature.

If you google 'autism premature babies' you will see that there are studies out there about it.

I am not saying IVF or the fact that my twins were born early is the cause of J's autism. We strongly beleive its genetic.

Your comment asking if IVF babies were healthy and normal like naturally conceived babies completely floored me. I still read it and shake my head. Even on a posting board, how do you ask a mother if her IVF conceived baby is 'normal'?

I feel IVF is for couples who could not concieve children on their own without it. It is a treatment for infertility and in my personal opinion I feel that is only what it should be used for. But if you find a dr/clinic that will do the procedure for you, more power to you, so you can get the gender you want.

As for having a son with autism, it does not sadden me at all. He is such a wonderful sweet little delight. What has saddened me is the time I have spend over the last few weeks trying to find therapist in our area who are qualified/have experience to treat children with autism. Battleing with our states EI system has been a nightmare. Trying and trying to find help for him is what has depressed me so much.

Samantha

SammyeGail

04-10-2008, 09:56 AM

As I am approaching mid 30 and hope to return to work force(currently SAHM), having the #4 will make my way back to my career harder. With #3, I will be away only 5 yrs which is still easy to get my job back. Beyond that, I am not so sure.

Gosh, thats not much better, lol. But I am trying to understand, go way back in time so to speak, and look at it from the point of view of someone who has never experienced infertility.

I would look into the procedures where they spin (is that it?) the sperm. I have no idea if they can do IUI with sperm seperation, hopefully they can. They may have to have 2-3 samples from your DH for one IUI, but IUI can be medication free, just a little catheter slipped in for a minute and then out. We did 3 of them (all negative). To increase your chances of getting pregnant, most REs will suggest clomid. clomid will cause you to release 2-3 eggs instead of just the one. It has emotional side effects for women too, I personally didn't have any bad side effects. Anyway, in lots of cases all three have been fertilized. I have not seen the rates of twins+ from IUI in years, but when we did it (6-7 years ago) it was around 25-35%. At our clinic our RE always did a V-ultrasound to see and measure (for maturity) the follicles, this is to check to make sure there are not too many (you know how everyone reacts differently to medications) follicles and have to cancel the IUI.

IUIs were sooo much better than IVF physically and mentally. Our first IVF was a failure. We had 2 grade A+ blast embryos transfered. I go in a week later to have my progesterone levels (the meds, -all shots-drain your body of pro., you take shots daily pro. it so you have some in your system at transfer and the week following). Mine was extremely low (which was rare), they doubled my amount asap, but it was too late. The RE told me later that if an embryo had implanted it wouldn't have survived. It was very hard emotionally to deal with.

Our second IVF they doubled my progesterone when it came time for transfer. I chose to transfer 3 embryos. All 3 implanted, but I lost one very early. That too was hard to deal with.

So IVF is an emotional roller-coaster. I totally agree with many PPs here that I would only go thru it to concieve a child and it being the only way.

Good luck on your ventures and your career.

Samantha

brittone2

04-10-2008, 10:34 AM

I can't speak from the perspective of someone that has undergone IVF, but we did injectable fertility meds and IUI to conceive DS. It was extremely stressful and an emotional rollercoaster. We had insurance at the time that covered almost everything, and would have covered 3 IVF attempts (if medically necessary) as well.

The drugs, the frequent trips to the reproductive endo 3, 4, 5 times a week, all early in the morning and a 45-50 minute drive in each direction, etc. are not fond memories. (and that aspect would be the same with IVF) I feel stressed even thinking about those days (I actually left my job prior to getting pg because it was just too hard to juggle all of the RE appts with my work schedule). I can't imagine trying to juggle it with my DC currently.

I wish you the best in your decision.

hbridge

04-10-2008, 10:44 AM

To provide more info on IVF/PGD, I know more than a few women with fertility problems that were desperate to have a child, but after one IVF cycle weren't sure they could continue with another. This is not an easy thing to do and there is often a time of a few weeks where lifting is forbidden, this includes your other children.

IF you can find a clinic that will do gender selection for non-medical reasons (this is often viewed as morally inappropriate), just know that you are in for at least a few months of constant monitoring and giving your body over to the medical community.

I, too, am shocked that people actually think that gender selection is something that PGD should be used for. This technology was developed to spare parents the heartbreak of multiple miscarrage and to help couples with genetic problems. Please reconsider and be thankful for the children that you have. There are many people that aren't as fortunate as you and are having to make difficult decisions to have A child...

Corie

04-10-2008, 09:04 PM

How's about the baby? Completely healthy like the natural conceive way?

Are you serious?

I cannot believe that you just asked this question.

crayonblue

04-10-2008, 09:49 PM

"But the way I see it is that having a baby, any baby, is a crap shoot. You don't know if what you get will be 'normal' or 'healthy' any more than you know (initially at first) if you are getting a boy or a girl. Even adoption doesn't guarantee against a genetic issue coming up, or an environmental issue happening."

Amen to this! Having a baby is a huge leap of faith. I just spent a weekend with 19 kids with fatal genetic diseases and their families. Not one of these families had any earthly idea they were carriers of the diseases. The one in a million doesn't seem so impossible when your child is the one in the million.

To the OP: If you really want to guarantee the sex of your baby, consider adoption. I know quite a few families who had two boys or two girls and chose to adopt a girl or boy to complete their family. Adopting is difficult and expensive but I think it is easier in many ways than going thru IVF.

TahliasMom

04-11-2008, 01:44 AM

As naive and innocent your questions may seem, women who have struggled with fertility cannot be sympathetic to a mom who already has 2 "healthy" children (conceived naturally) and who is seeking other ways of conception solely for gender selection. And I don't think you will receive a different reaction/reception at fertility clinics.

kusumat

04-11-2008, 01:56 AM

Are you serious?

I cannot believe that you just asked this question.

I did ask an OB the same question and got the answer that either yes or no because there have been no studies on that.

Well, the OB added that the only way to guarantee the gender was through IVF or PGD.

I found some ads on the internet said 100% sex selection shown below and wondered how it worked.

http://www.fertility-docs.com/fertility_gender.phtml?gclid=CM7n0rOo0pICFRpOagodg 2HMGA

Sorry if I offended anyone with the questions. I just try to find a way but I think we will continue to try natural way and hope for the best. Thanks again everyone for sharing your info and experience.

SammyeGail

04-11-2008, 08:51 AM

Sorry if I offended anyone with the questions. I just try to find a way but I think we will continue to try natural way and hope for the best. Thanks again everyone for sharing your info and experience.

Are you sorry you offended anyone with the question or that you even asked the question in the first place? I just hope you understand how much that hurt some people who have gone through IVF. When we realize we are going to have to go that route, tell family and friends, we get asked that question by people then, before we even start.

I was so excited about us starting our first IVF my whole family knew how everything was going along. I was hurting that it failed and then I had everyone asking questions about how did it fail. I regret doing that so much.

Our second I kept as secret as much as I could. I told my family very little. I was working, at a bank in a small town and I did confide in one person. She thought it was so fasinating she told another, then another, you know how the story goes on. About 8 ladies knew, only one (the one I told) would ask how things were going, I think she genuinely cared, she had a DD with a heart condition that was on her DH's side of the family and said if they were to have another they would use donor sperm.

I honestly thought they could do sperm spinning and use the top or bottom sperm to inseminate to increase the chances of a particular gender. I didn't know you had to go thru IVF for it, but from what little I read I guess that after the whole procedure, there are not enough sperm left.

We are in the position that we have one frozen embryo left. I want to use it to try for one more (thank goodness its only one transferred, lol, no more twins) but DH says no way. Thats another downside to IVF, either your first cycle fails and you have none left to freeze, or you conceive twins and have several embryos left to freeze, but don't want to add to your family. You hate the idea of disposing of or donating your embryos, kiwm? I guess in our case we can't donate due to autism running in the family.....

Samantha

MartiesMom2B

04-11-2008, 11:39 AM

I would try the shettles method. Nothing is 100% - what are you going to do if it doesn't turn out the way you want? You can't turn the baby in for a refund. I used to work for the clinic that developed microsort. It works better if you are trying for a girl more than if you are trying for a boy.

Momof3Labs

04-11-2008, 01:20 PM

I did ask an OB the same question and got the answer that either yes or no because there have been no studies on that.

Well, the OB added that the only way to guarantee the gender was through IVF or PGD.

I found some ads on the internet said 100% sex selection shown below and wondered how it worked.

http://www.fertility-docs.com/fertility_gender.phtml?gclid=CM7n0rOo0pICFRpOagodg 2HMGA

Sorry if I offended anyone with the questions. I just try to find a way but I think we will continue to try natural way and hope for the best. Thanks again everyone for sharing your info and experience.

IVF alone is as much a gender crap-shoot as going at it on your own. You must do PGD with IVF in order to choose your desired gender. And keep in mind that means that the eggs fertilize - so for some, life has begun - before they can do PGD. Then you discard the fertilized eggs that don't give you your desired gender. ouch Yeah, and IVF + PGD plus all the drugs will probably run $15,000-20,000, depending on where you live.