allergies and restaurant experience

[DrSally]

We went to a baby store this weekend to try on slings and stopped in at a local cafe next door for lunch. I asked the waitress, who was prob 65ish, if the chicken nuggets had egg batter on them since DS is allergic to eggs. She said "IIIII don't know" in the most exasperated tone and rolled her eyes. I had to ask her again if she could check b/c it was very important. They did, so we ordered a hot dog and didn't give him the bun (b/c I didn't want to ask it about). He was still hungry, so I asked about the fries I had (sometimes, but not usually, they have a batter with eggs). She was utterly exasperated and said "I have nooooo idea!!!" She came back and they were just plain potatoes. Ok.

I honestly have never had an experience like this at a restaurant. We used to just bring food for DS with us when he also had a milk allergy b/c milk is so ubiquitous. Now, with just the egg and peanut, it's easier to eat out. We would like to just eat out like normal people and not have to carry perishable food with us in case we want to stop somewhere. I felt like explaining the severity of food allergies to her, but didn't want to waste my breath. She was super solicitous to us afterward, patting DS's head and talking to him. I assume to get a nice tip, since she was acting like nothing had happened. I just didn't want to even talk to her in that fake way I was so annoyed.

[hez]

Most servers will ask the kitchen staff for us-- we've yet to run into one who wasn't willing to at least try to find out if eggs are in a particular item.

The nice part about chains is that a lot of times they have a pamphlet now that the servers can bring you that lists all the items & whether or not there are allergens in the recipes. We had one experience with another friend (whose DS was allergic to 5 or 6 things) where the TGI Friday's manager brought a huge binder and sat with her to find something her son could eat.

My point is-- don't give up hope based on one experience. There are lots of folks out there who honestly want to help keep your kiddo safe. Deep down no one wants a child to throw up at the table or have a horrific reaction-- it's not good for the kiddo, and it's not good for business.

:hug5:

[tnrnchick74]

I have food allergies myself and I ran into a situation on board a cruise ship. One server (not in the main dining room, but rather the casual resteraunt) was kinda snippy when I asked all sorts of questions regarding ingrediants. I went to the maitre'd at the main dining room and explained my problem...he organized a meeting with me, the chef, and the food & beverage manager and they made a list of the items I shouldn't eat.

They even re-did a few recipies JUST for me...like the creame brulee that thye used hazelnuts in. They made several servings without hazelnuts JUST for me!

I know its a little different than at a local place, but there are people out there that do understand and care. If its a chain, I would send a letter to the corporate office!

[DrSally]

Wow, that's really nice. Glad to see you got some results from speaking up. I usually am not a big "trouble maker", but I had no problem asking twice to get her to check with the chef b/c it involves my child's health. I've had mostly good experiences, with servers saying "no problem", and going back and asking the kitchen. This was a local, independent place, with great reviews, right across from a private college. I expected better, and I guess was a little shocked by the attitude.

[dcmom2b3]

I think this was either a slightly off person having a normal day, or a normal person having a slightly off day. Hez is right; my DH is a waiter, and I can tell you that he and his colleagues would move heaven and earth to make sure that your DC is safe.

Not to say that her attitude was appropriate, but do understand that her exasperation might have been prompted by her anticipating how hard it would be to get this info from the kitchen. Many restaurants don't cook everything from scratch, relying on pre-prepped or processed foods. So even the people who are cooking the stuff can be kinda vague about what's in it.

[bubbaray]

I would have left her ZERO tip and spoken with the manager/owner.

I am starting to call ahead and ask to speak with the manager and/or chef to see if they can accommodate DD#2's allergies (fish anaphylaxis and tested allergies to peanuts and eggs). The fish allergy is really tricky b/c her food can't be cooked on the same grill or use the same utensils as something that has touched fish -- nor can she have anything fried (like french fries) that have been fried in oil that has also fried fish. Nor can she eat various fish sauces, like Worchestershire or fish sauce in Asian cooking. Egg and peanut are pretty easy for us to avoid right now, fish is far more problematic (in part, b/c of the severity of her allergy).

Right now, we are limiting our dining to places like Red Robin and such that are VERY accommodating to children in general and specifically children with allergies. Our local RR is sooooo amazing with her. We are still trying to bring our own food everywhere, as recommended by DD#2's allergist. However, she's getting to the age that she likes to try what we are eating.

Good luck!

[DrSally]

Yeah, I wanted to tell my husband, make sure to leave a small tip, I was so Po'd, but didn't. It would be an entirely different story if DS had anaphylaxis. He's never actually had eggs or peanuts, so I don't know what the reaction would be. He's been ok having fries that have been fried in shared oil, even when he had the milk allergy. I know this sounds bad, but I chalked it up to her being older and maybe that's why she was so "ignorant" about food allergies, although I know that many older people know alot about it or are open to learning about it.