Great idea...

[psophia17]

When your wife is shocked by big bad news, and starts to cry, it's a great idea to lecture her. And make sure you call back several hours later and lecture her (again) for having a completely justifiable and valid emotional response.

When she reminds you that throughout your marriage, and from the time she was a little girl, big bad news always results in tears, it's a great idea to tell her to grow a thicker skin. Very helpful, and she'd be a fool not to take your advice. It's especially good when you have an equally strong emotional response to big news, only yours is anger that you have less control over than she does over her tears, to claim that anger is justified but tears are not.

Brilliant.

[ha98ed14]

I read your other post about having to move, so I am assuming that was the "news." You have my hugs and sympathy. Those were jerky things for DH to say to you! Maybe he can't or does not want to deal with your emotions because he feels responsible/ guilty for the fact that you have to move again. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible? Are you military? Will his employer cover the cost?

[psophia17]

If we do have to move, it's because of circumstances with our landlord's family, nothing to do with us. They have to deal with their side of things before we will know how things stand, but the actual landlord we deal with will definitely be there to make it as manageable as possible. I know it'll be okay (isn't it always?), but still, tears happen. Such is life. DH largely doesn't know how to handle when I'm stressed out (should've seen him when I was in labor with DS2 - he was a wreck), and he gets angry when stressed out, so his anger at the situation plus frustration with my being upset didn't work out in a great way.

I know he doesn't *really* mean them, but he has a harder time reigning in his emotions than I do...probably because he tries to suppress them rather than let them run their course...and then he says jerky stuff.

[sidmand]

:hug:

As someone who cries pretty easily (and it's worse when pregnant or post-partum) I understand the need to cry when bad news happens. And I have a DH who isn't so emotional and does get angry instead of crying.

Sorry this happened. Hope everything works out in a good way.

[elephantmeg]

OMG. I am so sorry. That is uncalled for, and that's the mildest form of what really went through my head.

[maestramommy]

Awwwwww:hug::hug:

Your dh needs a kick:32:

[elektra]

That sucks. Sounds like what happens in our house sometimes too.

[ritacheetah]

Some men just can't stand to see a woman cry. Good thing I'm not a crier because the few times I have DH thinks I'm having a nervous breakdown. Then if the girls cry he turns into a deer in headlights. You'd think he'd be used to it since his Mom cries at the drop of a hat but I guess not because that gets him upset now. And he cries more than I do!

Argh! Give him a big Three Stooges poke in the eye!:30:

[cca]

deja vu...not to hijack your thread but this is how my interactions with dh go lately

stress
me (tears)
him (anger)

so my dh and I had a very heated discussion about my postpartum ability to deal with stressful situations....mind you after dc#2 even laughing causes me to spill tears....thus tears in reaction to stress shouldn't surprise him, but for some reason makes him angry.

[lizajane]

hugs and empathy. i am always shocked at how DHs can think it is a good idea to "explain" why feelings aren't logical or necessary. um, yeah. because that is how feelings work! logic! ugh.