Unexpected roomies (2yo + 4.5yo) - WWYD?

[Java]

My MIL just sold her house and she's moving in with us temporarily (I don't know for how long - until we drive each other crazy I suppose). While I had plans for the kids to share a room together, it wasn't supposed to be so until end of the 2008, beginning of 2009. Basically when #3 (due in September) is ready to move into his/her own room (which is currently DD's room).

So now I have 30 days. DS is 4.5yo and DD is turning 2yo. She loves her crib and sleeps very well in it. Right now my plans are to move the crib into his room and they room that way until MIL moves out, thus freeing DD's twin.

DH thinks it's better to have DD move straight to a twin in the shared room and just "do it all at once." Sure, I think, easy for him to say since I'll be the one getting up in the middle of the night and during naptime. Would it better to take baby steps (room with crib then move to bed after they are used to each other)? Or am I just prolonging the adjustment period?

I'm not sure what is the best way to approach this and am looking for BTDT advice. In addition to the room sharing adjustment and the crib-or-twin-bed adjustment, we have to deal with potentially potty learning this summer (she's showing signs) and the addition of the new baby.

I don't want to rock her world, but these things are happening and there's nothing I can do to change it. But I'd like to make the transitions easier on her.

TIA.

[JillSP]

From my experience, it is all about making the child want it.

Present sharing a room as an option in a way that makes them want to do it. If you don't make it sound like something they shouldn't want to do and make it sound like fun, they will probably want to do it.

As for the transition to a twin bed, the same thing goes.

We moved our oldest to a new room, a new bed, and sharing with her younger sister when she was about three. I just presented it as "we have this new bed, do you want to continue to sleep in your crib or do you want to sleep in a new bed in this bedroom with your sister and let the new baby sleep in your crib?" She was really into it and never wanted to go back to her crib.

I suppose a lot depends on your child's personality in terms of what will work.

But, I also think it depends on the parents' attitude. By this I mean that if you think the transition will be "difficult" it probably will be. Kids can pick up on what parents expect and deliver accordingly; so if you expect your child to be difficult about the move, he probably will be. But, if you act as if the move is the most natural thing in the world and really isn't a big deal, the child will probably go along with that as well.

[nfowife]

Personally, I'd keep her in her crib if she is doing well with it. She's still pretty young at almost 2 to go to a big girl bed, especially when she is doing so well in her crib right now. I'd just move it into your DS's room and do it that way.

[o_mom]

I would stick with the crib, but I like my 2yo's contained. ;) The crib will take up less room and then you don't have to buy any furniture. You can make the transition to twin after MIL leaves. Also, I found that once we moved out of the crib, naps became much harder.

When DS1 and DS2 moved in together, I found there was an adjustment period of a few weeks where they just fed off each other and would keep each other up. We started having DS1 go to sleep in our bed and then moving him back later. He really loved his own bed, so I would give him one warning to quiet down or stay in bed and then move him. Now they go to sleep together with no issues.

[hillview]

I vote for crib til they get used to the change and she wants to sleep in a big bed.
GOOD LUCK
/hillary

[mudder17]

Personally, I'd keep her in her crib if she is doing well with it. She's still pretty young at almost 2 to go to a big girl bed, especially when she is doing so well in her crib right now. I'd just move it into your DS's room and do it that way.
I agree. You can make it fun for them to share a room--make it something for them to look forward to, but as long as she's comfortable in her crib, I'd o ahead and keep her in there.

[geochick]

I vote for crib til they get used to the change and she wants to sleep in a big bed.
GOOD LUCK
/hillary

I agree with this. I have an almost 2yo and a 4yo. I think they'd be fine together as long as my 2yo was contained in a crib. If she could roam around, I think there would be more trouble. Stick with the crib. One transition at a time.

[maestramommy]

If you weren't planning on moving her until the end of the year, I'd move her in with the brother, but keep her in the crib. Esp. if she's still napping. Dora is perfectly capable of climbing out of her crib, but she still sleeps better in it or the PnP. I think having her own enclosed space makes her feel more comfy and secure. So if you think it's already a big adjustment for your dd to move to another room, that's what I would do.