DH got a job offer (yay and nay!)

[LarsMal]

I am so torn right now, although the pros way outway the cons, so I need to just get over the money issue and move on!

I had asked for some mojo several months ago, and DH got a call today with a job offer! It's what he wanted, it's what we wanted, but it means BIG changes ahead.

First change- major pay cut. Like 50+ thousand. GASP!!! It's still an offer that a family of four should be able to live comfortably off of, but in a more expensive area, and just knowing we're going backwards, not forwards, is really hard to swallow. Top that off with a nice pay raise DH just got, as well as two bonuses (one for a major award at his firm) and it really sucks to think we're walking away from all of that and the potential for more. (Wow, that makes me sound really materialistic!) I may have to go back to work, too, but hopefully not.

Second change- moving back "home". I am so excited to get back home to my family and friends (2 hours away) but it's a more expensive market so we have to downsize, big time. So, I have to get ready to say good-bye to what I thought was going to be my forever house. Great neighborhood, schools, close to everything and anything you can imagine. My 4000 square feet, five bedroom, 4 1/2 bath...oh wait, I won't have to CLEAN that much house anymore...wooooo hooooo!!!!!

But...I'll be closer to my network, which I really need/miss right now. DH won't have to worry anymore about billable hours, he'll actually have days off and paid holidays/vacations without worrying about making up the hours, and he "can't" bring work home- yippeee! And he'll have a pension. So, like he said, we might not get rich, but we'll at least have the comfort of knowing we won't need to stress quite as much about savings/401K, etc.

I need to think about all the positives, not the negatives. We already agreed we're going to try really hard not to fight about finances if it gets tight and tough. Fingers crossed!

The whole process is going to take at least 6 more months, so hopefully we can sock away a lot of money between now and then, get a decent offer on our house, and hope the market we're moving to continues to crash!

Oh...it's so nice to vent all of this here!

[egfmba]

Sorry that you're going through so many changes. I've said a prayer that you find peace within and with all the changes and that they don't disrupt your life any more than absolutely necessary.

I bet you'll find that the changes that are for the worse are only temporary and that the changes that are for the better more than make up for the changes for the worse.

Good luck, and many blessings. And congrats to your DH!

eva

[kijip]

DH won't have to worry anymore about billable hours, he'll actually have days off and paid holidays/vacations without worrying about making up the hours, and he "can't" bring work home- yippeee! And he'll have a pension.

Change is hard. But what you said here makes it seem to me like you are going forwards and not back. Time off=more time with you and the kids. That's worth a million dollars to all of you!

And you will be buying in a buyer's market. :yay::cheerleader1:

[kijip]

DH won't have to worry anymore about billable hours, he'll actually have days off and paid holidays/vacations without worrying about making up the hours, and he "can't" bring work home- yippeee! And he'll have a pension.

Change is hard. But what you said here makes it seem to me like you are going forwards and not back. Time off=more time with you and the kids. That's worth a million dollars to all of you!

And you will be buying in a buyer's market. :yay::cheerleader1:

[SammyeGail]

Hey! I just wanted to say I know how emotional/stressful a move is. (We've done 2 major ones, plus one year my DH was activated in the Army Reserves) We are contemplating another one for better health care for my son. I have 2.5 year old twin boys and one has autism. It has taken me 2 months to finally find the magically hidden therapist that work with children with autism, then in Nov., we get to fight our rural area school system for treatments for our son. DH seems to think we will be living somewhere else by then, but that means I have to start all over again searching.

We live in TN, no state taxes, anywhere we move we automatically lose at least 10G. We need more to pay for therpaies and maybe a special school. All those jobs require alot of travel. We know 25% travel doesn't mean 25%, we've seen too many other people get into that trap. One industry is in the same area that some very close friends live and one sister and 2 adult neices. Our friends would be there for us but sad to say I don't know about my sister and neices, they have their own lives.

Who needs a 4000 sq foot house anyway. Cleaning 4.5 baths? How do you do it? Think of only cleaning 2....wow. You'll find a cute cozy home that you'll fall in love with. A big house doesn't mean a great neighborhood and schools, you can find that where you're going. And you going back 'home' you know exactly where to look. Being back with your family and friends is what is most important, other than having DH around more often and less stress on him.

Your stepping back, not going backwards, don't consider it a bad thing, you are doing what is best for your family.

You'll be ok, you'll be happier there.

After reading your post about your son's SPL and her 'advice', sounds like you need to get out of there anyway, lol!

Best of luck,

Samantha
Noah and Jonas
my little buddies

[MamaMolly]

Hi Julie,

Yay about the job offer! I've been thinking of you guys and remembering you in our prayers. This is great news!

We have also 'downsized' recently with a move. And while it took a bit of getting used to, it has been great! We left our 3k sf. house in a swim/tennis community and have ended up in a 2k sf townhouse in another state. Sure I miss my showplace, but I DON'T miss cleaning it. And there is nothing like keeping it ready for home buyers to come see to make you really, really learn to hate it. ;) I'm also a SAHM now, so we took about a $50k cut in pay. That also took some getting used to, I won't lie, but it is getting easier and easier.

We discovered we really like living in a smaller place. We live in a part of town where we can walk to parks, shopping, activities for DD, etc. It has a great small town near the big city feel, but it is super convenient. I also love that I don't have to clean so much and by going into a townhouse we no longer have to spend every weekend doing yardwork. Matter of fact, the lawn company is here today whizzing around on their riding mowers.

By moving to a smaller place we got to live in a much better part of town with great schools (DD isn't old enough yet, but when she is we are happy with the choices we've got). I have a lot of high end features in our home, like tile flooring in the kitchen, granite counters, stainless oven and fridge, etc. etc. We rent, but are looking to buy here after we've built up our nest egg.

I think you'll find that with your DH home more and your support group near by that this is a great move for you guys. My advice would be to try and save as much $$$ as you can right now. See how close you can get to living happily without that $50k.

Congrats! Change is scary but it can be really great!

[LarsMal]

Hi Julie,

Yay about the job offer! I've been thinking of you guys and remembering you in our prayers. This is great news!

We have also 'downsized' recently with a move. And while it took a bit of getting used to, it has been great! We left our 3k sf. house in a swim/tennis community and have ended up in a 2k sf townhouse in another state. Sure I miss my showplace, but I DON'T miss cleaning it. And there is nothing like keeping it ready for home buyers to come see to make you really, really learn to hate it. ;) I'm also a SAHM now, so we took about a $50k cut in pay. That also took some getting used to, I won't lie, but it is getting easier and easier.

We discovered we really like living in a smaller place. We live in a part of town where we can walk to parks, shopping, activities for DD, etc. It has a great small town near the big city feel, but it is super convenient. I also love that I don't have to clean so much and by going into a townhouse we no longer have to spend every weekend doing yardwork. Matter of fact, the lawn company is here today whizzing around on their riding mowers.

By moving to a smaller place we got to live in a much better part of town with great schools (DD isn't old enough yet, but when she is we are happy with the choices we've got). I have a lot of high end features in our home, like tile flooring in the kitchen, granite counters, stainless oven and fridge, etc. etc. We rent, but are looking to buy here after we've built up our nest egg.

I think you'll find that with your DH home more and your support group near by that this is a great move for you guys. My advice would be to try and save as much $$$ as you can right now. See how close you can get to living happily without that $50k.

Congrats! Change is scary but it can be really great!

Thanks, Mollly!
I told DH last night we need to put away as much cash as we can now before we move. Of course, he said, "Well, we should also think about things we might want to buy- now- before we can't afford it." (like bedroom furniture for DD when she comes out of the crib, a new TV...typical DH, but he has a point!)

We moved from townhouse into this house and I'm not opposed to going back into a TH, as long as it is a different layout than our old one. I definitely won't miss having to keep up with as much housework (although I don't do enough of it now anyway!). Good point about keeping in showing form while it's on the market. NOT looking forward to that at all!

Another good thing about downsizing is we won't need to worry about buying any new furniture- we'll probably have too much! We shouldn't need to spend much as long as we find something move-in ready. I also think we should rent for a few months first, to figure out where we really want to live, and to let the housing prices keep falling. I want to get as much as we can for our limited budget!

I'll keep you posted. It's going to be about 6-8 months before anything happens, as DH needs to go through the security clearance process, so we still have some time.

[Sillygirl]

It sounds as though you're gaining all the things money can't readily buy, like family time, and downsizing on your material possessions. I suspect that this will make you far happier in the long run. When happiness is studied, it's things like work-life balance that make the most difference, once the basic needs for housing, food and health care are met. GL!

[boolady]

It sounds as though you're gaining all the things money can't readily buy, like family time, and downsizing on your material possessions. I suspect that this will make you far happier in the long run. When happiness is studied, it's things like work-life balance that make the most difference, once the basic needs for housing, food and health care are met. GL!

This was my immediate response upon reading your post. Good luck with your decision.

[ged]

I could be totally wrong here, but it sounds as though your DH is moving from a law firm into an in-house counsel position. If that is indeed the case, a pay cut (significant) is the norm. However, I think many attorneys (usually those with families) feel the benefits outweigh the negatives. Not having to bill those hours is HUGE. As are the vacation days and the overall much better schedule. My DH went in-house 2 years ago and still is not making what he could be making with a firm, but we wouldn't want it any other way. Congrats and hooray to less cleaning :)

[LarsMal]

I could be totally wrong here, but it sounds as though your DH is moving from a law firm into an in-house counsel position. If that is indeed the case, a pay cut (significant) is the norm. However, I think many attorneys (usually those with families) feel the benefits outweigh the negatives. Not having to bill those hours is HUGE. As are the vacation days and the overall much better schedule. My DH went in-house 2 years ago and still is not making what he could be making with a firm, but we wouldn't want it any other way. Congrats and hooray to less cleaning :)

Yep, that's essentially what he's doing. And yes, we are looking very forward to enjoying more time with him. Having "real" days off and vacation time that is actually vacation will be great (if/when we can afford one!). For the past 6 years anytime we've gone away he's always had the stress of making up the hours because there really is no such thing as "time off" when you have to make up the lost hours.

We broke the news to our neighbors, who are making us feel horribly guilty for leaving, but oh well! I do have one friend in town, though, who I just can't bring myself to tell. We see each other several times a week and our kids have been together since they were born. We both moved here at the same time (from our previous city) so it's going to be really hard to leave them behind. BUT, if we are really TRUE friends, then we'll still make time to see each other.

Let the house cleaning/getting ready to list madness begin! DH officially accepted the offer the other day. YIKES!!!

[Corie]

Julie,

What area are you moving? Any chance it's the New England area? :)

[LarsMal]

Julie,

What area are you moving? Any chance it's the New England area? :)

I WISH- so I could join the SUPER COOL BBB group I get jealous of every time you post about it!! I'm moving closer, but not quite there. We'll be in the DC area.

[MamaMolly]

I WISH- so I could join the SUPER COOL BBB group I get jealous of every time you post about it!! I'm moving closer, but not quite there. We'll be in the DC area.

Well hot diggity! You'll be in my neck of the woods! Do you guys have a general idea of where you want to be? I think in your OP you said that you are 'coming home' so I thinking you've got something in mind.

We love living here. PM me if you've got any questions or anything!

[Corie]

I WISH- so I could join the SUPER COOL BBB group I get jealous of every time you post about it!! I'm moving closer, but not quite there. We'll be in the DC area.



Ooohh! So close!! :)