9 days post-partum and DH needs surgery tomorrow

[american_mama]

I want sympathy. I am 9 days past giving birth to our third child, and DH badly hurt his knee today playing basketball with DD. He was admitted to the hospital and the orthopedic resident told him he will most likely need surgery tomorrow morning.

DH is freaking out about me bringing the baby to the hospital because of germs, but it's kind of necessary since I haven't even gotten my breast pump or bottles out yet and hence we travel as a unit. (Gee, Day 9 of his life... you think?) The hospital seems pretty busy, DH has been seen by a parade of residents all of whom want an MRI but the machine is booked and I suspect DH won't get one until the middle of the night. DH has only a little info. about what's going on and I have even less. Don't know exactly what damage was done ot his knee, don't know who might do the surgery, don't know anyone's name, don't know whether he'll be under general anesthesia, don't know how long he'll stay in the hospital, don't know what his recovery will be like afterwards.

In some ways, this can work out well because my parents are still here to help for the birth and can stay indefinitely. I am having a pretty easy recovery from childbirth and DS is a pretty easy baby so far. But still... no one wants their DH turned into an invalid 9 days after giving birth.

It could be much worse. But I'm sorry to be here at all.

[strollerqueen]

AWWW, {{{hugs}}}. If it makes you feel any better, (the ol' misery loves company adage), I am juggling laundry, cooking dinner, fighting with the two older ones on their baths, AND their homework, and pumping. My diet today consisted of a doughnut and a bag of chips. (Horrible, I know!) And all I did all day was feed SP 2.0, burp SP 2.0, change SP 2.0, hold SP 2.0, feed SP 2.0, burp SP 2.0, etc. Oh, we did both manage to take baths, so happy, lol! And DH STILL isn't home from work, GRRR! (At least he is dressing the kids, packing their lunches, and taking them to school in the morning.) Anyway, it's great your parents are there helping. Be careful of those nasty germs in the hospital. Try not to touch anything. This sounds lame, but, can you wear gloves?

[megs4413]

oh man that sucks BIG time...you have every right to complain! I hope it goes easier than you expect and the recovery time is no biggy for DH. You poor momma!

[sdjeppa]

I am sorry - I feel for you!

DH broke his collarbone (bad bike crash). A week after breaking it, I ended up in the hospital with pre-e and delivering our baby boy 6 weeks early via c/s, and I was pretty sick too. DH, I love him, but was so drugged up he was basically useless...it was a good thing DS was only 5 lbs, because I had to carry him (and the carseat, etc.) for almost a month before DH could manage it. The only good thing was that we were both home for the first month, when he had only been planning on taking a week or two off...of course, he couldn't do a whole lot....

[elephantmeg]

your baby should be fine. DD has escaped 2 bugs in the last 2 weeks (1 of which I caught). Use lots of purell and keep nursing. I'm sorry you're going through this and hope all goes well with the surgery!

[KBecks]

That sucks, I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. I hope your DH has a full recovery.

[MamaMolly]

Owww, hugs! I've soooo BTDT, only DD was a month old. And my Aunt came for 3 days which was a total blessing!

My advice? Nurse, nurse, nurse. And delegate, delegate, delegate. Now is not the time to be Supermom. Now is the time to lean hard on friends and family. Ask someone to help you dig up your pump and then you need to get friendly with it. If you can pump just a couple of ounces then you have a little more time alone at the hospital.

ITA with the suggestion to wash your hands a lot. I had DD in the stroller or in my arms while at the hospital, but even touching the elevator buttons freaked me out. (Can you say first time mom?)

At least your DH is coherent and can make decisions for himself. He'll really need you there for the recovery after surgery and that sort of thing. Be sure to explain the situation to the surgeon, doctors, nurses etc so they will make every effort to let you know when they are going to be making after-care check ups and visits in DHs room. That way you can plan when to you need to go to the hospital so you DON'T have to take the little one. Maybe ask them to call you when they are heading over to the hospital?

Good luck, and big hugs!

[ThreeofUs]

Oh, gosh, what a situation! I'm so sorry you and you family have to go through this right now.

ITA - wash your hands, wash your kids' hands, wash your DH's hands before he touches anyone. It's the one best line of defence you have!

[LBW]

Aw, that really sucks! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this during your babymoon!

Do you have a wrap or mei tai to use for the baby in the hospital? That way you'll have your hands free and won't have to worry about putting the babe down anywhere germy.

[birdie75]

I can't imagine trying to manage all that. Make sure that you and DH examine all your options once you get the MRI results back. You can put off ACL repair for months or years (I waited 2 years and my dad elected not to repair his) if you do physical therapy and wear a brace. Make sure that even if he needs a ligament repaired that it needs to be done now and can't wait 6 months.

[geochick]

That really sucks. Sorry! I'd leave the baby home while you're at the hospital. Just go in hour-long blocks. Some of those hospital bugs are very bad! You won't need to sit by dh's side at the hospital...even on surgery day. Make sure you're there when they wheel him in. Run home to feed the baby, then be back after recovery.

Good luck!!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Good immunities from breastmilk, just keep that motto. :)

My dh had to have surgery and a week long hospital stay when ds1 was 4 months old and I would do shifts at the hospital and minimized how much time the baby was there. It helped that I was only 15 minutes away from home and a bit older though. I would feed him, leave him with my ILs (and I left one pumped bottle), go to the hospital for a whille,...baby came about 50% of the day sometimes as I never wanted to leave dh's side except the middle of the night.

Hopefully he won't need to be in the hospital long. You'll probably need more help when he gets home.

GL to all of you!!!

Beth

[deborah_r]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this right now. In the "could be worse" category of support, at least your babe is so young he isn't moving around touching stuff. You should be able to keep him pretty isolated in a sling or carrier, or just holding him.

[traumarn]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!! no child under 2 should EVER be in a hospital unless they are the patient!!!this is not a small "issue"- your baby does NOT have an adequate immune system to fight off all of the bugs that are floating around in a hospital....this is quite possibly the most infected, contaminated area a person will ever encounter- and the risk is WAY to high to your childs' health.
there is no way to protect your baby from the bugs they may get, but also, there are many other people in the hospital that are immune-compromised- and your baby can actually infect them.