UPDATE on DH's surgery

[american_mama]

Just wanted to update on my story with DH's surgery and my newborn. He completely tore his quadricep tendon and did something else to his knee and had surgery Wednesday to repair it, when DS was 10 days old. He was in the hospital almost 4 days and came home with crutches and a big leg brace/ immobilizer that keeps his leg completely straight. He'll keep the leg brace completely straight for a month, then have it adjusted to allow some flex and wear it another 2 or 3 months, then have 3 months of rehab. He probably won't be able to drive for at least a month (because his leg won't fit in the driver's seat) and in fact we are trying to figure out how he will fit in the car in any position at all (the car seats prevent him from stretching his leg out). We are also trying to figure out how he can bathe other than a sponge bath, how he can get dressed other than the one pair of shorts he's worn since Thursday, etc.

On the upside, he can bear weight on the leg, which means he can walk without the crutches as long as his pain isn't too great and he can do stairs. He is able to do a lot since waking on Saturday. Also, I put out a plea for help from neighbors and many of them are responding. I almost feel guilty now for asking for help becuase DH is doing so much better.

What really spurred the request for help was DH's pain on Thursday after the surgery, which was astronomical, and I felt trapped at home feeding DS and dealing with a badly behaving DD2. I felt very guilty hearing him say Thur. at noon that he was a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale and had been for hours, and I wasn't with him. It was especially ironic given that I'd just given birth just days before and hit that much pain, but he was with me every step of the way. At the same time, I didn't know what coping techniques to suggest to him, since there was something medically wrong in his situation and no good outcome like a happy birth awaiting him.

The pain got under control by Friday morning, but then we had a whole other issue, which was that DH's normally somewhat high blood pressure got extremely high all day. One med student mentioned "hypertensive emergency" and another resident said "this is dangerously high, stroke-territory high." I felt like we were suddenly in our 50's, not 30's, dealing with chronic medical issues and the full court press to take daily medication. DH is not quite 39. It took four doses of two different medications to lower it somewhat, enough for the physical therapist to do some work with him, which sent his pain level back to an 8 or so. That finally got settled and we left the hospital at 10 pm with DS screaming, an incredibly stinky diaper, DH in pain once again from navigating the car, and me waiting at the pharmacy with screaming DS for the pain prescription to be filled.

I was so fearful that DH would be in so much pain at home that we'd have to go back to the hospital, or that he wouldn't be able to navigate our small bathrooms or stairs to our family room. I thought we wouldn't be able to sleep together. But all of these were non-issues, and DH was much better on Saturday.

So, things are progressing and it's mostly the practical stuff like bathing, clothing, and trasnporting that are issue. We have a three row vehicle (Ford Freestyle) and need two car seats to be in most of the time and three car seats when we go somewhere as a family. I know many people have had knee surgery, so I'd welcome any advice or commiseration.

[trentsmom]

Wow, you've been through a lot in the past 2 weeks! :hug: I'm glad DH's pain is now in control. I watched one of my friends hit a 10 out of 10 because of a medical condition, and you just feel so helpless because you know there is nothing you can do except wait for the meds to kick in.

Sounds like you have good neighbors who are willing to pitch in and help. They may not think they're doing much, but every little bit of extra help is a godsend for you.

I wish a speed recovery for your DH.

[MontrealMum]

I'm so sorry you are all going through such pain and stress right now. :grouphug:

I had knee surgery 7 years ago and the pain does get better, just veeery slowly at first. I had an immobilizer (reinforced metal, velcroed on, cooling knee compress and pain iv directly into the site - probably not all the right terms, but I'm not a Dr.) I was on crutches for at least a month, and couldn't bear any weight at all on it for at least that time (It's all a blur now!) I wore the immobilizer for 3 months, at which time I was able to walk on it but very slowly, and stairs were a nightmare (so no public transit for me!). I wasn't allowed to drive until 6 months post-op because it was my right leg. If it's the left, your DH might be allowed to drive himself sooner. For me it was a question of being able to safely bear weight for depressing the brake pedal.

Some things that helped (besides good pain meds!) and some tips:
-when riding in the car at first it's sometimes easier to sit across the backseat with the shoulderbelt all contorted. Like when you were kids probably :) Not possible if you have kids and carseats, but if someone else is driving him? Otherwise, push the passenger seat all the way back and have him try to contort his legs diagonally to maximize the front seat space. Again, hard if there are child seats, and your DH may be longer-limbed than I am, although my legs are pretty long and I was able to fit in most cars. The old Civic was surprisingly roomy.

It helps to keep the leg elevated when sitting - so chairs, pillows around it in the bed, strategically placed coffee tables.

For showering, this is a little complicated, it was my right leg that I couldn't get wet, so I stood in the shower with my right leg over the tub part hanging out, and my mom stood outside, next to me, helping me stand. Balancing on one leg for a 5-10 minute shower is tougher than you think - and I was very fit before my surgery. I think that they do sell bags that you can put over casts, although in your DH's case, the area might be too large or high up? Also, my mom helped my wash my hair in the sink (like at a beauty parlor) when it was too much to do our shower routine. I have heard from others in similar situations that those dry camping shampoos don't work that well.

What else? Oh, it's good to move as much as you can stand to get the blood pumping, it helps healing. We used to go do "mall-walking" since it was indoors and dead during the day. It's important to get physio started asap, and to take it very seriously. It will hurt - a lot - and if you, or others can help be a cheerleader for your DH it will help him keep at it. I will say, though, that I was very hesitant to do things at first because of the pain, but I might have made it over the hump a bit more quickly if I'd gritted my teeth and pushed myself a bit more. Ask the doctor, obviously, what the limitations are, but your DH may need a little external motivation. And do not be afraid to be vocal about pain, or asking for more or different medication.

And, not to sound too mean here - and NOT for repeating to your DH, but to put it into perspective, and help you to not be so hard on yourself --- the pain of childbirth and post-partum was MUCH worse than the pain of my knee surgery. Not that he isn't in a lot of pain, and that you should ignore his protests or anything. Just to put it into perspective, and to encourage you to take it easy and not beat yourself up too much either! Childbirth has completely changed my notion of a "10". This may be because it is more all over, rather than in one specific area, and also because they don't generally offer you Vicodin for post-partum pain! And then there is the lack of sleep. I cannot imagine being so recently out of the hospital yourself with a newborn, and having to be the support system for your DH who is also in a painful, scary situation. I think it's wonderful you were able to ask for help, and that people have stepped up. Again, :hug: and so sorry you are all going through this.

ET: clarify

[shilo]

ok, wow, you have a lot on your plate right now.

it always frys me that they don't have the occupational therapits (OT's) see post op knee patients in situations like this. so first, any chance you can get DH's surgeon to refer him for some (first choice) home health OT (they come to your house since technically between DH and the new baby you are "housebound" - use that term with the Drs. office and your ins. co. if necessary- right now) or (2nd choice) outpatient OT in addition to the PT? OT's specialize in all kinds of 'life skills' including teaching compensatory strategies for how to bathe and dress. if not, and you're really in a pinch, you might try looking in the phone book and calling around to local home health agencies and seeing if you can private pay for one session with a home health OT to specifically teach your DH some compensatory techniques for bathing and dressing to get him over the hump.

again, check with DH's surgeon or nurse for the surgeon, but we (therapists) are often given the ok to start showers after 5-7 days post op with most post-surgical patients. you can cover the wound itself with saran wrap and tape all the edges down. i'd also recommend asking about removing the brace for minimal amounts of time a few days a week for someone to help with a sponge bath to the skin above and below the surgical site just to keep that skin healthy. as long as he's laying in bed, without the kids around knocking it around and he's able to concentrate on keeping the leg straight while someone gives the leg a quick once over with a wash cloth, you're probably fine.

as far as things you can do today (or tomorrow) to help him - ask a neighbor or friend to hit a medical supply shop (check the phone book) or even some drugstores have a 'mini' section or aisle now that includes these types of products i'll describe for you. many ins. company's will not cover DME (durable medical equipment like i'm about to list), but some will, so if you get a prescription for what you need you can try and get your ins. co. or an FSA account (if you happen to have one) to re-imburse you. get him the following:

a 'reacher' can be used to help hold pants while he puts his foot in and then pulls them up to where he can grab it with his hands and can also be used to pick up anything he needs off the floor - looks like this: http://www.target.com/Aluminum-Reacher-–-32L/dp/B000BH8GQ2/sr=1-3/qid=1209416690/ref=sr_1_3/601-4231009-0666558?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Areacher&page=1

a 'sock aid' is exactly what it sounds like - helps put your socks on - looks like this: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-4231009-0666558?ASIN=B000BH9VJ8&AFID=Froogle&LNM=B000BH9VJ8|Deluxe_Sock_Aid&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B000BH9VJ8&ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001

a basic shower bench might come in handy and with the suction cup feet is much safer than a plastic garden chair a lot of people use - looks like this: http://www.target.com/dp/B0007VNZUE/sr=1-4/qid=1209416805/ref=sr_1_4/601-4231009-0666558?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Ashower%20bench&page=1

if his surgeon won't let him take the brace off to saran wrap the wound site, you can get a cast protector like pp mentioned: http://www.medicalequipment-4sale.com/view.cfm/Treatment-Supplies/6565-castbandage-protector-largefull-leg.html

if he's having trouble bathing other parts of himself with his leg hanging out over the tub, you can get a long handled bath sponge: http://www.metromedicalonline.com/dmi8172.html

if he's having trouble lowering himself down to standard height toilets in the house, you can get an elevated toilet seat temporarily: http://www.specialtymedicalsupply.com/medical-supply-products/Carex-Elongated-Elevated-Toilet-Seats.html

if i think of more i'll post. good luck and hugs,
lori

[Joolsplus2]

***pain reduction and quick healing vibes*** headed y'all's way!

No advice, though, sounds like a very challenging time :/

[shilo]

oh, duh, pain control...

ok, so if the pain meds aren't cutting it for the pain and swelling, you can have DH ask his surgeon to prescribe a knee wrap cooler or he can talk to his PT about one if he has an appointment coming up in the next day or two (looks like this: http://www.painreliever.com/djorthopedics_DJArcticKnee.html). yes, basic icing works, but this works better IME.

if your DH's MD's (surgeon, but it's not a bad idea to talk with his internist for a longer period of use) are ok with it, consider an NSAID when he's ready to make the switch from the prescription narcotics to OTC. the NSAID (like ibuprofen) will have not only a pain relief component, but an anti-inflammatory (decreases swelling) component as well. to get the true anti-inflammatory benefits, he needs to keep the medication in his system at regular intervals around the clock (per the bottle and his MD's dosing instructions). just taking it intermittently will help with the pain, but not so much the swelling.

hth,
lori

[beachmoms]

As far as bathing.....take a large garbage bag and wrap it around the leg,, tuck the bag into the brace/leg area at the very top and then just tape that area around the top of the leg, water should not get in if he doesnt spend more than 10-15 min in the shower. Thats what we do at work for these types of pts.

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

Wow this sounds like such a tough time for all of you.
I hope that he is feeling better soon, and that you are able to cope with all that is on your plate.
We are here for you,
Valerie

[SnuggleBuggles]

I;m glad he got the pain under control! This has to be very draining. I hope that you can figure out the logistics. Don't feel bad about asking for help. Take a nap and try and make sure you don't get run down!

Beth

[ThreeofUs]

I'm so sorry you are all having to go through this - it sounds painful for all concerned!

When DH blew out his back and ended up in surgery last year, I found it focused my mind to forget about doing anything but taking care of him and DS. Anything else was extra (though my showers had a top priority, too, LOL!) You're in a much harder spot, so be very kind to yourself and get help whenever possible.

You gotten some wonderful advice above, so I won't repeat, but I did want to send my very best wishes to you and your whole family. Don't beat yourself up too much; sounds like you're doing a really good job in an extremely difficult situation!