How do you manage Anxiety?

[elektra]

So I think I probably have Anxiety in a diagnosable form. It runs in my family, with my grandmother being severely mentally ill (bipolar, anxiety, depression), and my mother being very overly anxious and worried. There have been studies lately that have concluded that anxiety is a contributing factor to dementia, and I believe it's what has led to my mother getting early onset Alzheimers.
So I have been a worrier my whole life too, and while it probably helped me succeed in some ways (worrying about failing, etc.), worrying and being anxious are not how I want to spend the majority of my life.
I find myself worrying constantly about bookshelves falling on DD, her injuring herself, losing my job, that lump on DH's neck.... anything really. And now that DD is starting to walk, I'm chasing her around worrying she's going to crack her head open. My fingers are a bloody mess as I pick and bite away at them in worry (sorry if TMI), and my neck is in knots.

I know becoming a mother lends itself to a bit of increased anxiety, and it's probably ingrained in us at an evolutionary level to protect the species or something.
But I seriously need to lighten up!
Should I try meditation? I do find that I can really relax with a glass or 2 of wine, but I don't want to use alcohol like that or any medication if possible.
I know exercise might help some but I still have not figured out a way to incorporate more than just a walk in the stroller with the dogs every day.
I guess I'm wanting to hear any mantras you fellow mamas might use when you find yourself in an anxious state.

[ThreeofUs]

I tend to be an anxious, type-A person. It's helped me in some ways - like running large non-profits when you really can't be paranoid enough, LOL. But when my mother passed away, for example, and my family imploded, my anxiety was unbearable.

Unfortunately, over-anxiety triggers my migraines and I hate to take medication. :( I had to find some way to detoxify.

So I meditate. And meditation has allowed me to figure out how to relax my muscles and de-trigger anxiety. It also has helped friends of mine learn how to block over-concentration on, well, just about anything (some people call this perseveration).

The trick, I find, is to make absolutely sure you get time for yourself daily to create space and meditate.

Good luck.

[lilycat88]

My husband deals with anxiety and OCD. He started medication (prozac and wellbutrin) about a year ago and it's made quite a difference. If I were you, I'd get to a psychiatrist for a consultation. Or, at least start with your family physician. Explain what is going on and tell them you are looking for ways to manage the anxiety without medication. If you really want to stay away from medication as an option, go see a non-MD mental health provider (PhD counselor, social worker, etc.) who can't prescribe medication. They will have a wealth of options to try for managing anxiety non medically. As I mentioned, my DH is on medication but the most relief he has found has been through a 6 week anxiety support group run by a social worker. He's learned techniques for stopping the unwanted thoughts and worries. He was also introduced to guided meditation. I had been trying to get him to try it for months. Yes, meditation can help but it would be helpful to have someone help guide you at first to really learn what works for you and what doesn't. Self-hynosis is a deeper form of meditation that you can also learn. It takes practice to do it but it can be incredibly effective and can be easy (quick!) once you learn the techniques.

[lizajane]

please see a doctor who is either a psychiatrist or well versed in mental health and get the right meds. you may need to try more than one. be sure to ask about ALL the side effects, not just the common ones, in order to make the right choice for you. the difference in incredible.

i would highly recommend you try meds WITH counseling, exercise and maybe something that suits you that you find relaxing-yoga, reading, long baths on a regular basis... whatever. but really, meds with couseling and exercise... HUGE. try it.

[wellyes]

I avoided medication throughout my 20s, didn't want a pill to change me. When I finally made the leap (to a relatively low dose of Zoloft) it made a huge, lifechanging difference for me. My world really opened up - I was able to manage difficulties / worries like a "normal" person for the first time in my life instead of torturing myself constantly. I am a much happier and more functional person and I regret waiting so long.

If you don't want to go on a daily pill, consider asking for some Xanax from your family physician. The effect is similar to two glasses of wine in terms of managing anxiety - but you are more functional than you would be if you were drinking. You can't take it everyday but it's good for "crisis control".

[ahrimie]

i'm not an overly anxious person naturally but when there were deaths in my family, i would become very anxious and depressed... to a point where i knew there was something wrong.

i'd highly suggest seeing a psychologist (with doctor if you need/want meds) or psychiatrist. talking about my anxiety was a BIG help. just knowing what i was experiencing and that i wasn't crazy reduced half my problems. but at the same time, i still felt like i needed medication to help me through the day. i rarely take medicine.. i don't even take tylenol for headaches unless it's really bad. but at the same time, i wanted and needed to feel better--as normal as i could to make it through those times.

but for sure, seek out some professional help.. ask lots of questions... i think therapy really helps. and who knows, maybe you won't need medication if you just talk about it! but i think it's really good you're seeing the signs and seeing how it's affected your family. i think being self-aware is really half the battle.

[Davids-Coco]

I agree, try the meds through a psychiatrist or versed mental health dr... some primary care drs can find a good fit, but those in the mental health field will do a better job in general.

I found that I am one who responds badly to most anxiety and depression meds out there - I suffer from both and had a huge issue with both PPD and PTSD following my c-birth. For me, my treatment includes acupuncture and it seems to work wonders. It is something to consider if your insurance covers it. Therapy was not a good choice for me as I could easily tell the therapist what they wanted to hear and got away with it.

[StantonHyde]

I went without meds for a long time. Then I got on them and WOW. All that energy I spent managing my anxiety could be used for other, fun, things. It is much better to use an every day med than xanax or ativan--they can be addicting. I have used ativan before--to get to sleep at night and the week before my wedding :6:

Excercise is TOTALLY key for me. I want to try meditation but that gets hard for me to do with kids. I have done 6-8 years of therapy over the last 20 years--it is a godsend for me. It really helps to know what makes me anxious/why I get anxious AND coping techniques I can use.

I have had to increas meds/start therapy during high stress events:PPD after DS and when my mom died. But then I get through those.

It is just so important for me to have all the emotional/mental energy I can for my kids and not for my mental issues. (which, untreated, could take alot!!)

[elektra]

Thanks for all the feedback. I just weaned DD 2 weeks ago, so after reading the posts, I think I should seriously consider medication. At one point I was actually on a drug called Serafem, which was prescribed to me for really bad PMS. I forget what the exact diagnosis was but every time I got my period I would consider leaving my husband and moving to NYC- Crazy thoughts like that. So my gyno said this drug would help and it totally did. I was seriously a happier person when taking that medication! My sadness and worries were just pushed down deeper, and it felt like something exciting was about to happed right around the corner. I had actually forgotten about that (it was 5 or 6 years ago), and your posts helped spark my memory. It sort of felt like cheating or something though. And the thing is, my mom has been a mental health medical professional her whole career (probably got into it after seeing her own mother struggle) and I still feel a bit of a stigma associated with medication. So I should really know better than to feel like that. I would just hate to have to be "addicted" to it in a way. These are probably things that could be discussed with a psychiatrist too. I am also going through some stressful times (mother with alzheimer's, mother-in-law with breast cancer, buying a house, raising a 1-year old!) so it's probably a good idea to just make that appt.
I have also been suffering from migraines since DD was born, and although I think they are hormone related, it could be tied to the anxiety too. I hadn't even thought of that.
Anyway, thanks again.

[vludmilla]

If you don't want to go on a daily pill, consider asking for some Xanax from your family physician. The effect is similar to two glasses of wine in terms of managing anxiety - but you are more functional than you would be if you were drinking. You can't take it everyday but it's good for "crisis control".

Xanax is known as an addictive drug. If taken over an extended period of time, tolerance develops and higher doses are required to obtain the same relaxation effect. I DO NOT recommend asking a family physician for it. They do not have the training to manage it and it can lead to addiction. It is called iatrogenic addiction (physician induced).

[danagee]

I got acupuncture for stress and anxiety. I felt relief as soon as the first needle was inserted! I've been a new person ever since.
That was 2 months ago and I've been going regularly since then and I can't imagine ever stopping now!
My acupuncturist also deal in Chinese herbs which are kind of interesting too.
Good Luck.