Help me come up with some cute Fortune Cookie fortunes!

[cmo]

We are doing a Teacher Apprecation Luncheon for the staff at our preschool. One of the menu items are Fortune Cookies, and I found a place that does custom fortunes. I thought it would be fun to make some appropriate to the occasion.

These ladies (and a few men) have a good sense of humor, and there won't be any kids in attendance, so really anything goes! I have laughed out loud many a time at things I have read on this board, and hope y'all might have some suggestions.

Many thanks!

Chris

[fattytuna]

I don't know if these are "appropriate to the occasion", but here it goes...

"You will receive a fortune cookie."
"He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."
"I cannot help you, for I am just a cookie."
"Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup" (you might want to substitute "Chinese chef" and/or "stir soup" accordingly)
"THAT WASN'T CHICKEN." (substitute "chicken" with whatever will be served)

And this might be a bit TMI, but if it's really "anything goes" like you said...

"You will take a big dump in eight hours."

[sarahsthreads]

How about:

"Help me, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!"

(And I really love "THAT WASN'T CHICKEN" from the PP!)

Sarah

[cmo]

Thank you! Those are cute, and I will pick a couple to go with some I've thought up. Any other suggestions are welcome!

[AngelaS]

Our personal favorite thing to do with fortune cookies is to add the words "in bed" to any fortune. Granted this is really far funnier with ready made fortunes. Ones like "you will be sucessful" or "you will receive great fortune" or "stay away from unsavory people" always make us giggle.

So if you get regular fortune cookies and just share that tip, you'll get lots of laughs too. ;)