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View Full Version : So you WANT her to be anorexic?? -- had the conversation with mom



dcmom2b3
05-02-2008, 10:05 PM
So, this afternoon, while in the grocery store check out line, my dear mother spots a cover story on some rag entitled "Beat Belly Fat -- Start Losing Now!!" She snatches the magazine off of the rack, holds it up to DD (who's sitting in the cart, happily singing to herself) and says, "See! 'Beat belly fat'! That's what you need." To her granddaughter. WTF?!?

DD was 17 mos old yesterday. She's not petite, but is a proportional, muscular little girl -- 32" and 25 lbs.

I am proud of myself that I didn't punch my own mother's lights out, then and there. But into cyberspace I must shout:

BEEEYOTCH!! KEEP YOUR EFFIN' BODY ISSUES TO YOURSELF!!!!!

Or, if you must, direct your comments towards me, not the person humming the theme to "Elmo's World."

There, I feel much better. Thanks for the vent.

*****************UPDATE:********************

So I had the conversation with the wench, er, I mean mom, this morning, and it went something like this:

Me: You know, pls don't make comments to DD about her weight or appearance, if you have concerns please raise them with me or DH.

She: I was just kidding.

Me: Well even so, at the very least, it sets an inappropriate example of what's funny -- I don't intend for her to be a "mean girl," and it's hard to accomplish that when her nana (who she thinks is a total rock star) engages in humor at other people's expense. At worst it has a negative effect on her self image.

She: Her self-image will be just fine. [um, yeah, maybe if you're not around to damage it]

Me: [long womens' studies soliloquy re: cultural pressures on girls/women, importance of self esteem, de-emphasizing looks -- positive or negative--and emphasizing her character, empathy, intellect and substance, yadda yadda ]

She: "You've had too much therapy." [NIIIIIICE one, mom! Ever stop to think WHY I needed it?]

Me: "Well mabe so, but you've had too little. So I guess it's good that way, we balance each other out. BTW, did you take your meds this morning?"

[yes, my apple didn't fall far from her tree - that was a really mean thing to say, but I'm not really sorry that I did]

She doesn't get it. I shoulda' pimp slapped her yesterday and been done with it.

elizabethkott
05-02-2008, 10:39 PM
You exhibited EXTRAORDINARY restraint!!!!
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
(((((hugs)))))

eliasmom
05-02-2008, 10:52 PM
Well.... at least I'm not the only one to have had my normal sized DD (under 2) subjected to those sorts of comments.

I will tell you that my comment to my own mother and father that they could keep saying things to their granddaughter if they wanted because I will be sending them any and all bills for her therapy have actually led my mother to *gasp* admit that DD is perfectly healthy. In fact, she now refers to her as muscular and very strong. Nary a fat, chubby, etc. comment in there. Now for MIL.... only commenting on HER weight seems to shut her up. :rolleyes:

npace19147
05-02-2008, 10:54 PM
Dang.

At a less emotional time you might want to ask your mom to refrain from such comments in front of your DD. Can't really think of a sensitive way to do that though.

Dang.

bubbaray
05-02-2008, 10:59 PM
WHAT?!?!??! Are you KIDDING ME??????

OMG. I'm speechless. And you *know* I'm rarely so afflicted.

OMG. Just Wow.

Rainbows&Roses
05-03-2008, 02:07 AM
My super-skinny mom has made comments to my super-skinny daughter about not getting fat, not being a "piggy" etc and I want to slap her for even introducing the concept to her.

I have used those opportunities to tell my daughter not to worry about things like that, etc.

I guess much of that generation has no concept of how destructive female body issues have become in society and how early it starts.

AngelaS
05-03-2008, 06:56 AM
Wow, she sounds like my MIL who once said to my 8lb newborn, "I wonder if she'll always be big."

AAAARGH! I feel your pain!

karstmama
05-03-2008, 08:51 AM
wow. i don't know what i'd say to that. i'd likely just stand there stunned. i'd still be there, in the grocery store.

hugs to you! a kick in the tail to your mama!

kellyd
05-03-2008, 10:06 AM
You showed admirable restraint! I would have asked her what the hell she thought she was doing!

sarahsthreads
05-03-2008, 10:34 AM
Wow, that's some restraint you have there. I'm so glad my family doesn't say things like that. (Of course, on the flip side, I have my grandmother and my MIL offering DD cookies left and right even after she's completely refused to eat a healthy meal. Because "once in a while it can't hurt" - except that once in a while is every. time. we. see. them.)

I personally think a soft squishy toddler tummy is perfectly wonderful for tickling and I'm sad to see DD's disappearing as she grows up!

Sarah

KBecks
05-03-2008, 01:46 PM
aaaa! My first instinct would be to run far, far away from the toxic woman.

And then have a piece of cake with ice cream :)