"Well, we ARE peanut free"

[LarsMal]

Ugh...just need to vent.

I am having a REALLY hard time coming to terms with sending DS to preschool next year. I know it will be good for him (and me) but I am so freaked out about his food allergies that it really stresses me out.

I know schools deal with allergy kids all the time, but I'm just not coping well with knowing I'll be leaving him behind in a place that will have dairy and egg products out around him on a daily basis. The thought of cross-contamination and playing with toys after eating freaks me out. (If you've ever had an anaphylactic experience with your child, you understand!)

Today I went to look at a school, the one we'll most likely send him to. I mentioned his allergies to him (dairy and egg) and she says, "Well, we ARE a peanut/nut free school." Umm...congratulations. That's great for the kids with nut allergies!!!! I don't expect them to be dairy and egg free, that's not it at all, but when you say a child has a food allergy, is does not automatically mean that they have a nut allergy, and that that is their ONLY allergy! In fact, DS isn't even allergic to peanuts, so that doesn't affect us at all!

I guess I just have to be proactive and really work with the teacher and director to make sure the environment is as safe as it can be for DS.

Stupid allergies!!!!

ETA: Oh yeah, and it was't very comforting when, after discussing his DAIRY and egg allergies, she asked me if he could eat Goldfish. Um....NOOOOO!

[ccather]

There's a little boy in DS's preschool class that has nut allergies (our school is peanut free.) We had a party at school and he was wearing a "I have food allergies" shirt. (I forget the exact verbage, but that was the gist of it) Perhaps wearing a shirt like that for the first week or two and then periodically after that will help to remind everyone.

Also, the school provides snacks for the kids but Food Allergy Boy's mom provides all of his snacks for him.

Just some thoughts and observations from a classmate's parent perspective :)

[mom2binsd]

A little girl in DD's 4 year old preschool has milk, egg, nut allergies....her mom had all of your very valid concerns...she worked closely with the director (who was also the teacher)....she did bring her DD's snack everyday and was also given access to read all labels of food items given to the other children...her DD was able to participate in all activities....they also were very cognizant of how closely she sat to other children etc....especially during our mom's night...they created a bit of a safe zone during tea/cookie's...the mom and DD handed out nice thankyou's to all the parents and classmates at the end of the year thanking us for understanding her DD's allergies - to be honest it did not negatively impact anyone...our school is very strict with respect to handwashing...as well anytime they use playdoh, rice table, etc they use wipes before and after....

MY DD has invited this little girl to her 5th birthday and I've already talked to her mom about any place in town that makes a cake that I could get so her DD could have cake...unfortunately there isn't a place but her mom said her DD will have to learn there are some things she won't be able to try...I've asked the mom for any suggestions so that her DD will be safe...I'm not serving the cake until the end...and no finger snacks....and her mom and Epipen will be staying during the party...

I think having a child with any type of allergies must be so stressful but this mom has handled it very well...she now has the public school to worry about next year!

Good luck!!!

[ha98ed14]

I just wanted to say ((HUGS))! I have not been faced with this, but can only imagine it to be SO hard because you have been so vigilant up to now. Trusting others to be equally careful must be hard. He is not their baby.

I guess the one piece of feedback I would give you is that if you are not absolutely 100% confident that this pre-school director "gets it," do not send your DS there. Whatever he might learn there won't mean much if he has a bad reaction. He must be safe first and foremost!

[Piglet]

I know that there is a boy with sesame allergies in DS1's school and as a result, whatever room he is in, is very vigilant about snacks. The rest of the school is still a sesame zone, but the teacher in his room makes sure all the parents know the rules. The snack lists are sent out with a very specific note to not bring anything with sesame or traces. We didn't have too much trouble folowing the rules (but our school allows peanuts since no child is allergic). Can you talk to the teacher rather than the director? I think that the day to day stuff will fall on the teacher and if I were a teacher, the thought of a child having a reaction in my class would scare the cr@p out of me!

[kijip]

Yikes on all of it but especially the gold fish thing. Hello CHEDDAR CHEESE!!!

I am thinking you need to pack all of his lunches and snacks. Also, maybe prepare a flyer for them to post of the fridge with emergency contacts and doctor info and procedures to follow. Include a picture of your kids face (for the roving or new teachers). That will remind them NOT to pour him milk at snack by accident etc.

[Neatfreak]

I wish that schools everywhere were more cognizant about food allergies. My daughter is apparently the first child at her preschool to have one, ever. I can't really believe that, but ...

Anyway, I was thinking that maybe the lack of a plan at your child's school means that you could help build their policy surrounding appropriate snacks, contamination minimization, emergency response, etc., and it would be tailor-made for your needs.

[LarsMal]

Thanks for the good ideas!

I know I need to get him a bracelet, but I hadn't thought of a T-shirt (I've seen them in catalogs before) or putting his picture up.

One preschool I visited put a picture of child next to their allergies, and put it in each room for all the teachers to see. I'll see if they will do that for him.

I was shocked that two of the schools I visited claimed they didn't have any kids with allergies. The one we're sending DS to is only peanut free b/c my friend's DD has nut allergies and made them go peanut free! I guess I'll just have to partner up with her and really work with the teacher/director to make it a safe place for DS and any other child with food allergies.

Of course, that is until we move a few months into the schoolyear and have to start all over at another school! Oh well!!!

[californiagirl]

Look for NAEYC accredited schools. I'm pretty sure they have to do the pictures on the list trick. (It's really handy if you're thinking of bringing treats, too, because you can check out the list.) DDs school is nut-free, too.

I'm shocked at the schools that have no allergies; when DD was younger nearly half the kids in her class had listed allergies. Some of these are mild and/or for things they're not likely to get in class (shrimp are not on the snack menu, surprise surprise). But still, there were multiple milk allergic kids until this year.

[DrSally]

I feel your anxiety, esp. with a director who doesn't seem to get it. From what I've heard, it really depends on the school, and whether they've had parents before them who have paved the way in terms of educating the staff. Some of the examples from pp's are great--the teacher who made sure each parent was educated on what not to bring. Peanuts are not the only allergy! DS outgrew his milk allergy, which has been a big help, b/c milk seems to be in everything. One time someone wanted to give him pretzel goldfish and I declined b/c I hadn't read the label. I checked at the store, and guess what, even the pretzle goldfish have milk. He still has egg and peanut allergies, and I've had soooo many people assume he can have eggbeaters, Hello, they are just colored eggwhites. Kid's with food allergies website has a list of all the names common allergens go by. I printed out a list for my family and they hang it in their kitchen, also, DS's action plan in case he has a reaction. I love the idea of a picture of the child with their allergies in each classroom. Even at this young age, DS knows he can't have things with eggs, and asks "have eggs in there?", if he sees something he wants to eat. We usually don't have peanut stuff at home, so he's not as exposed to items with peanuts. That may be an extra barrier of protection, to have your child be able to speak up as well (not that I would count on it exclusively).

[tnrnchick74]

HUGS! I'm sorry its frustrating to find a place that understands food allergies and is willing to make sure your child is safe.

I've had severe food allergies my entire life. I'm 33. My poor mother was told FREQUENTLY that "There's nothing more we can do to make sure she doesn't have a reaction. She will HAVE to eat what she is served or starve".

*sigh* I can't remember a year in school that I DIDN'T have some sort of reaction. And one school refused to let me carry my epi-pen with me "for fear I would use it as a weapon". No, epi isn't the greatest weapon but I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!

I would have LOVED to had a list somewhere that some teacher actually LOOKED at and understood! I would have LOVED to have been able to participate in classroom parties without my Mom being scared to death that I was going to have a reaction. Instead of making sure the food was safe for everyone, they would move me out of the room, isolate me, not let me participate, then I got teased because "I can't eat the same things as everyone else"...and that came FROM THE TEACHER!!!

ok - rant off! Schools have come a LONG way in dealing with kids with food allergies, not to mention other special concerns. There is still a lot of work to be done, but at least SOME education has been done!

I hope you find a great school that "gets" it for your child!

[DrSally]

That is horrible!!! Like many things, people start out in the dark ages on certain issues and it's education that slowly brings change.

[tnrnchick74]

That is horrible!!! Like many things, people start out in the dark ages on certain issues and it's education that slowly brings change.

Yes it is! But its also the perserverence of parents like the OP as well as my Mom who help bring about change - for the safety of our precious children!

I'm just glad to know that if my son ends up inheriting my food allergy predisposition, that the "trail has been blazed" and hopefully his time in school will be easier than mine in regards to food allergies!

[lizajane]

FYI- your school will keep an epi-pen on hand. DS2 has one at school and one in my purse for insect allergies.

his class also has a photo of each child beside their allergies.

and tell his teachers that he cannot eat ANYTHING that you did not provide yourself.

i didn't check to see how old your DS is, but if he is little, ask for a highchair for him to use at lunch so he can stay away from everyone else. or be sure he sits by the teacher every day at lunch.

[DrSally]

Yes it is! But its also the perserverence of parents like the OP as well as my Mom who help bring about change - for the safety of our precious children!

I'm just glad to know that if my son ends up inheriting my food allergy predisposition, that the "trail has been blazed" and hopefully his time in school will be easier than mine in regards to food allergies!

Exactly, parents do a lot of trailblazing and educating on behalf of their children, and it benefits us all.

[tweetykl]

DS has milk an wheat allergy. There are three or four other kids with epi-pens at his dc. I think I am the most anal but helpful. I provide food substitues. They check all foods through me. For parties, I provide a snack for everyone and then put safe snacks in his bag. I also do education with them and provide articles that may help or videos, like epi-pen video that we got from the allergist. They have pictures of my son with an allergy note in every room. He also has an allergy shirt that he wears if they have any new staff start.

Good luck!