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View Full Version : on the flip side... otherwise known as the cosmic unfairness of the universe...



shilo
05-20-2008, 03:03 AM
AAHHHHHH!!! can i say it again? AHHHHHHHHHHH! this is long, you don't have to read it, but i just have to get this OUT of my system.

so i know there is another post going right now about weight and pregnancy over here, but i don't want to hijack. this is just a selfish b!tch and i know there are a lot worse things going on in the world, but this just sucks for me today!

i went to my regular monthly OB visit today and was essentially told that i'm not gaining enough weight. excuse me? you're talking to moi? me who has struggled with her weight since the age of 12 and hit puberty, you're telling ME i need to gain more before my next appointment? me, who you've been counseling to get to a more healthy weight since i became your patient 7 years ago and which i finally basically did prior to this pregnancy? ME? really? AHHHHHHHH! how is this fair?

i'm doing everything i did with sam's pregnancy that i did right last time - eating nutritiously and to hunger (which is actually MORE food this time) - AND what they kept telling me to do last time that i didn't - exercising regularly. last time it was "you better slow down or you're going to wind up with gest. diabetes". this time it's "you know, you really don't need to be so careful - if you don't start gaining a little more between visits we're going to be worried about it." i swear i'm not over-exercising. i'm a PT by profession. i grock exercise physiology. i'm religiously careful about monitoring my HR and passing my perceived rate of exertion and talk tests during my workouts while pregnant and have slowed down considerably as the weeks have gone on. my spin (indoor cycling) classes are more like joy rides than sweat and exercise at this point.

i guess i'm just struggling with feeling like it's so unfair. last time, with sam's pregnancy, i remember struggling so much with the early weight gain (i started his pregnancy with twins thru the 1st tri), and by the end of the second tri, it just slowed down on it's own to where i ended up in the 'official' record at about a 25lb gain (closer to 30 if you count the weight before they started counting at my first 'official' visit). but i was a solid 35-40lbs overweight before that pregnancy. this time around, i was down to about only 10lbs overweight before pregnancy, but the weight just seems to be coming on more slowly. i'm gaining, just apparently not enough.

of course i don't want to do anything to endanger the baby! of course i'll try and force myself to eat more/exercise less if that's what i need to do. but i kinda feel like i just want to let my body be. it's telling me i'm doing the right things - it's just the scale that's giving me a big :p. i won't even go into my parents comments on the subject - i've finally come to peace in my 30's with waving the white flag to that one and letting it go.

sigh. thanks for listening if you got thru my mess of a post.
lori

jal
05-20-2008, 09:39 AM
Is it possibly the case that you are eating "as much" this time but you are exercising "more"?

If so, then I would suggest you only increase the calorie intake and NOT decrease the excersize. Assuming your OB doesn't think your excersize regiment isn't too much for your pregnancy, I only see the positive side of staying in an exercise routine (things like increase your stamina, make you stronger... especially when it comes time for the birth etc).

I guess that all I'm saying is don't use the weight issue as an 'excuse' to stop the excercising.

elliput
05-20-2008, 09:39 AM
:hug: Sometimes I think people (including Docs) just need something to complain about, if it wasn't the weight it would be something else. If you are comfortable with your weight gain so far, that is what matters.

karstmama
05-20-2008, 09:46 AM
for a 'normal' bmi, 25-35 lbs is recommended. some get it early, some late, some steadily.

*but* - the important thing is that the baby's growing. if your tummy measurements are within a centimeter or two of how many weeks you are when you're measured at your visits, that's what counts.

pb&j
05-20-2008, 09:52 AM
Don't let your doc mess with your head. You are doing fine. Keep up the good work. FWIW, I was thin prepreg w/DS, gained less than 5 lbs the ENTIRE third tri, and my OB never said boo about it. I gained about 23 lbs total on a slender frame, and DS was a whopper - 8lbs 5oz at 10 days early. The baby will get what it needs. You're doing fine.

Laurel
05-20-2008, 11:48 AM
:yeahthat:

I didn't gain any weight in my 3rd trimester with DS. I was freaked, but my OB was fine because she saw that DS was still growing fine. Sounds like you are doing great to me!

maestramommy
05-20-2008, 12:30 PM
If you're tummy is growing normally I really don't see what weight has to do with it. I remember asking my OB about this during my first pregnancy. He said unless you're really underweight to begin with (like 95 lbs), there's no minimal amount of weight to gain. And some women who are obese actually lose weight throughout their pregnancy. He was a high risk OB, but amazingly laid back. Maybe because I was one of his boring patients lol!

If you're not experiencing any actual known issues, I would just keep doing what feels right for you, listen to your body.

ThreeofUs
05-20-2008, 12:35 PM
HA. ITA that some docs just want something to complain about.

I lost 20 lbs with my first pregnancy - I was like 5/6 months along before I finally started gaining weight. My OB at the time said that it looked like my metabolism had finally turned on.

If they/you are really worried, tell them to start sending you to ultrasounds to check how the baby is growing (not you!).

shilo
05-20-2008, 01:07 PM
I guess that all I'm saying is don't use the weight issue as an 'excuse' to stop the excercising.

you know, this is really what's at the heart of all this i think...

i've spent the last three years of my life getting into shape by basically not giving myself an excuse NOT to do it. i treat getting to the gym almost like a job - i have to be sick to the point of risking exposing others not to go. honestly, i'm almost afraid of breaking the habit at this point - like once i fall off the wagon, i won't be able to get back on.

i agree that since i am gaining a little bit, i'll stick with the exercise as is and try just adding a healthy snack or two.

sigh. it's just such a mental game, you know?

thanks for the response,
lori

shilo
05-20-2008, 01:10 PM
:hug: Sometimes I think people (including Docs) just need something to complain about, if it wasn't the weight it would be something else. If you are comfortable with your weight gain so far, that is what matters.


hehe, and boy was that running thru my head yesterday! gee, doc A in the practice seems to be the overgaining browbeater, and i guess doc B is the undergaining browbeater. after sleeping on it for a night, i've decided i'm just going to keep doing what i'm doing, add a healthy snack or two and wait and see what my doc (doc C of 4 in the practice) has to say at the next visit.

lori

shilo
05-20-2008, 01:16 PM
Don't let your doc mess with your head. You are doing fine. Keep up the good work. FWIW, I was thin prepreg w/DS, gained less than 5 lbs the ENTIRE third tri, and my OB never said boo about it. I gained about 23 lbs total on a slender frame, and DS was a whopper - 8lbs 5oz at 10 days early. The baby will get what it needs. You're doing fine.


I didn't gain any weight in my 3rd trimester with DS. I was freaked, but my OB was fine because she saw that DS was still growing fine. Sounds like you are doing great to me!

see, that's exactly what happened last time. lots of weight up front and then only about a 1/4 to a 1/2 lb per week from 26 - 40 weeks until i blew up with edema for the last two weeks before i delivered sam.

i dunno, maybe that's what they're "worried" about. since i've only gained a little under 5lbs and i'm hitting 18wks this week, if i followed the last pattern for the 3rd tri, i guess it wouldn't be very much weight for the pregnancy. but like another poster points out, being overweight to begin with generally changes what you're supposed to gain anyway.

ok. goal for today - put this out of my head. now i'm just over-thinking it ;).

elliput
05-20-2008, 01:24 PM
LOL! Doc C will probably tell you your weight gain is fine.

pb&j
05-20-2008, 01:38 PM
I actually gained nearly all of my preggo weight with DS after 17 wks when the nausea finally let up. I was down 3 lbs at my 12 wk appt with him.

I dunno, I think your body will do what it will do. Elliput was right - sometimes docs just feel like they need to give you some kind of advice. Like maestramommy, my doc is a high risk guy, so he doesn't really waste much time with small potatoes as long as mom and baby's health both seem to be fine.

sidmand
05-20-2008, 01:54 PM
As long as the baby is fine, I think it doesn't matter, right?

I got worried because *everyone* kept telling me I didn't even look pregnant. My OB didn't care at all. She was surprised/happy that my Type 2 diabetes didn't spike when it *should* and I think a lot of that had to do with the fact I didn't gain nearly as much with DD as I did with DS. I did start out a bit higher with DD, but I've actually lost more than I gained! I gained 20 lbs total with DD (I was overweight to begin with, they did say they would've been a bit more concerned if I wasn't though) and I've lost almost 35 lbs at 6 weeks pp--whoo hoo!

As long as everyone is healthy and doing well, it really shouldn't matter how much you gain (or don't gain).

I do recall being told to eat more and thought, "This is the first time in MY LIFE that anyone has told me to GAIN weight!!!!"

SnuggleBuggles
05-20-2008, 02:19 PM
I had gained like 4lbs by 18 weeks, if that, and no one batted an eyelash even though I was not overweight. They were right not to be concerned as I was just a late gainer. :) It sounds like you are doing great- eating right and exercising. What more could you do?

Beth