Suggestions for a toddler who fights getting strapped in

[egoldber]

Ah, the differences between kids.

Amy fights me every time I put her into the carseat. She is RF in a MA. She kicks and screams and struggles. She has learned a new trick of firmly planting her feet against the seat back making it hard to tighten the harness securely. Even though I try to bend her legs so that I can tighten it, on several occasions when we reach the destination I notice the harness is pretty floppy when I take her out.

Its bad enough that people stare at me like I'm hurting her in parking lots. I am even considering turning her FF which I did not want to do, but the floppy harness scares me.

Suggestions?

[WatchingThemGrow]

My DD is 5 mos older and we went through that stage while I was pg w/DS. The thought of trying to fight her into the carseat made me want to throw up and scream all at the same time. Things we tried that seemed to help: food, toys, hats, books, drinks. I did a bait and switch just giving her something while still holding her or as I was putting her in the seat. Singing loudly helped sometimes - if it was a tune she could recognize from her music classes. I had some $1 graham snacks from BRU that lived next to her seat.

[Joolsplus2]

Maybe helping with her chestclip would let her be more willing to get in? My dd's really into helping out with that. I had to lure her out of her sister's booster the other day by promising her tic tacs, though.... nothing like blatant bribery :yay:

[californiagirl]

We did (still do) a lot of bribery, effectively; you may have a sippy of water, a toy, a book... as soon as you're properly strapped in.

Letting her do as much of it as possible also helps.

For us, so did pointing out that Batman is always thoroughly strapped in. (Yes, I have a DD.)

[egoldber]

Unfortunately she's a little too young for bribery at 19 months. She's pretty much at that "NO! NO! NO!" phase as she struggles with every fiber of her (surprisingly strong) little being.

I do try distraction, but that seldom works. Part of the problem is I always seem to be dragging her away from something to run her older sister around. Sigh.

She's about 25 pounds so I'd really like to keep her RF. But even though I check the harness before we get on the road, somehow the little bugger manages to get a fair amount of slack into it.

[KrisM]

My DD is just about 2 years and we are just getting out of that stage. She fought terribly since about January, which was 19 months.

I ended up just building in more time to get her in and eventually, she'd relax enough that I could get her in. And, I often didn't loosen the harness when getting her in or out. I didn't have to worry about it being too loose then, although it was harder to get her into it.

[ShanaMama]

I'm not sure if turning her around will help matters. DD is FF and can seriously give me a run for my $$ if she doesn't want to be strapped. She's older, though, so she has the stiff body thing down pat. I try distraction as much as possible, but ultimately end up forcing her in. I also feel like a child abuser when I do it. :(

[egoldber]

My thought is that if she's FF then she couldn't brace herself against the seatback which is what she does now. She settles down after I finally get her strapped in but yowza!

[o_mom]

RF they do the stiff act, FF they do the boneless, slump to the floor act. Neither one is fun.

Are you sure that the slack is from her being stiff when you strap her in? It isn't the adjuster slipping or anything like that? Give them a good yank, just to be on the safe side.

Can you put her in first, then DD1 and then come back to tighten her up some more?

[egoldber]

Are you sure that the slack is from her being stiff when you strap her in? It isn't the adjuster slipping or anything like that? Give them a good yank, just to be on the safe side.

Hm. I hadn't thought about that. I'll give it a yank today. But I do think its from her putting her legs against the seat back and stiffening. She likes to kick and push against things with her feet in general. Lovely.


Can you put her in first, then DD1 and then come back to tighten her up some more?

I do that. But somehow she still seems to get slack in there.

It doesn't happen every time. But maybe one out of every 3 or 4 trips?

[Joolsplus2]

Well, I'll add to the FF doesn't really help vote... Leah didn't want to get in the other day, tantrum from hades, and she's FF in dh's car.. she straightened like a board and went all the way to the floor. At least when they are RF they sort of stay in the seat.
Anyway, it sucks, :( (Ugh, talk about feeling like a child abuser? She's got really bad teeth problems...just handing her the toothbrush to chew on like I did the other kids still ended up with her having horrible decay...so I have to brush her teeth...nothing works exept wrapping her in a towel and lying her on the bathmat and when she screams and opens her mouth I can brush her teeth properly... trust me, I've tried everything else...but you know? It's gotta be done, there's no other way, I just pray for her to outgrow it and I know she will someday...)

[Karenn]

DD went through a stage like that at about this age. It sounds silly, but we finally figured out that she'd go in much more easily if she had a fresh diaper. DS had never cared about things like that.

[bubbaray]

I went through this stage with both DDs. DD#2 started around 12m and seems better now. DD#2 is still RFg.

Can you recline the vehicle seatback of the seat that her retraint is installed into? That might help. I do the bribery thing, but also just hold/pin her until the tantrum is done and then go about strapping her in.

I've never had the harness loosen in our MAs, RNs, ComfortSports or Evenflo Vision.... What seat are you using? If its a MA, I'm wondering if she's figured out how to loosen it herself. There is a thread here about a kit you can get from Britax to help with that.

Don't give up. IME this phase passes....

[egoldber]

It's the MA from my older DD. Its from January 2005.

Thats a thought about her loosening it herself actually. She's forever fiddling with things back there. Her paci, her shoes, whatever she can get her fingers on. I've heard velcro, but I assumed it was her shoes. It could very well be her getting at the adjuster! D'oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My older DD did that once when she was about 3. I pulled over and gave her the sternest talking to I have EVER given to her and she never touched it again. Somehow I don't think that will work with this one. Sigh.

[bubbaray]

Here's the link to the other thread:

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=293607

[o_mom]

Oh yes - get the training kit! That is most likely the problem with the loose harness. Not sure it will help getting her in, but at least you can make sure she stays tight.

[beckych]

What I have had to do a few times is loosen the straps a LOT to get them up and over her shoulders (while my daughter is throwing a huge fit and bracing herself against the back of the seat), then yank down on the straps in the back REALLY hard, then pull up on the crotch strap really hard. (I have Britax seats as well.)

This forces her into the seat, and it keeps the straps very tight.

(I am actually wondering how people who have ff seats tighten the straps. I am forever having to pull down on the straps in the back and then pulling up on the crotch straps (even when we're not experiencing tantrums). )

Of course, she is unhappy about this, but well, too bad!

(I like the bribe thing too---as bad as they are for them and their teeth, fruit snacks work WONDERS!!!!)

[Tanya]

Well, you certainly are not alone. My older DD has always loved going anywhere, so I don't remember her being so difficult about the carseat (of course, maybe I have just blocked it out so that I'd have a second kid at all?).
However, my younger DD (almost 21 months) does the stiff as a board routine regularly along with the screaming. Why am I always the last one leaving the parking lot at preschool? Well, because everyone else's kids are already strapped in while my younger one is throwing a fit and refusing to put her butt down in the carseat.

I've used M&M's as a bribe. I've given her a certain toy. I've given her my keys (which results in another tantrum once I obviously have to get them back...but at least she's already strapped and trapped then). I've climbed into the van, put my hands under her knees to force them to bend, then partially put my bodyweight on her in order to get her butt down into the seat enough to strap her....yes, while she's screaming and everyone is staring.
I've pretended like I'm going to throw her into the van to get her laughing, then suddenly put her into the carseat and try to strap her before she realizes I tricked her....but that only worked a few times before she caught on and she was much younger then.
Since I'm still nursing her, I tell her that the sooner she gets into her seat and we get home, she can have "milkies". That actually works most of the time. Offering banana or cereal or whatever wasn't enough, but "milkies" was.
And if you have time, my DD likes to put the keys in the ignition. So, I let her do that and then she's more willing to then climb into her carseat all by herself and with as little obvious help as possible, she gets her arms in the straps and I help line up the chest clip and tell her to push and I pretend she did all the work. We do the same thing for the buckle and she's just so proud of herself "did it! did it!". She really likes to believe she's doing things herself. It's just difficult to have the patience when you are in a hurry.

Tanya