Adoption resources?

[Emmas Mom]

One of my closest friends & her husband have struggled with infertility for a few years. She is my "person"....the only person I would've had a baby for if it had all been possible. They found out this week that they could adopt a baby girl in August! I'm so excited for them because they'll make wonderful parents. Anyway, when I was pregnant I remember getting tons of samples, coupons, etc. but I don't remember HOW I got them?? I know I registered at SOME sites (don't remember which ones though) but I also know I'd receive random stuff out of the blue. Since she's not pregnant I don't know how she can sign up for them. They're still not 100% sure they're going to get the baby so I don't want to "jinx" things but I know she's a little freaked out at how quick things will be happening so I want to help out as much as possible. Can anyone give me some resources, tips, ideas? TIA.

[Melanie]

Probably your health insurance or MD sold your name. I ended up on those annoying lists twice with Ds!

I'll bet signing up on places like babycenter and the like will get her name on a bunch of lists, too. Also I wonder if babies R Us sells your name, too?

It's funny, to be in the reverse that she could actually benefit from all the annoying things I was saddled with!

Oh, and try huggies.com or pampers.com if she plans to use disposables. 7th generation.com also has coupons, but I don't know if they have a relentless list of sample-sending like the first two, do.

I would imagine all of the formula companies would be glad to get her name and information, too.

However, I would ask her before you sign her up on anything, just to be sure she wants her name and information out there. It can get overwhelming. I was glad to "fly under the radar" with my BC birth with #2. We didn't get a thing.

[icunurse]

BRU now lets you register and not have to put in a "due date". You can change and update things as needed. They changed their ways after a lot of adoptive parents complained. A lot of the formula companies, though, still won't let you sign up for anything until you have a due date or the baby has arrived.

I think a lot of it depends on your friends view of things and how she/they feel they could handle it if the adoption doesn't happen. We have, unfortunately, had 3 failed adoptions in our attempts to adopt our two children and sometimes getting the baby stuff in the mail right after was like adding salt to the wound. We did, however, feel that we wanted to be prepared, as we knew it would happen "some day". So we did pick up the necessary things for an immediate placement - neutral clothing, bedding, bottles....things that wouldn't expire and couldn't wait until we had a baby shower (we didn't want one until after placement). We did prepare a room and have furniture when we were first matched, but that didn't happen. So, we closed the door and waited and the room was all ready when DS came home :)

Stores like Target, Kohls, and others have very generous return policies (90 days with receipt), so she could buy stuff there and return it later, if needed. We had another match fall though at the last minute and, to me, returning the clothing was, again, salt in the wound. When matched with DD, even though it seemed like it was definitely going to happen, I bought one pink outfit before we went to pick her up. Didn't even get formula or diapers - but that's why Walgreens has late hours, right? :)

It's such an exciting and scary time for your friend and I think it is great that you are being so thoughtful about your friends feelings. The site www.adoption.com has great forums and lots of activity. All I can recommend is to follow your friends lead and support her and be there for all of it. I wish her the best of luck! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions that I can help with :)