Would you/Could you/Are you a SWINGER?

[Corie]

DH and I watched Swingtown last night. The show
has me curious.

Would you/Could you????

[LarsMal]

NO NO NO!!! I just can't even imagine (okay, well, I guess I could imagine!) but NO WAY! Uh uh!

But, if we ever decided to, we know there is a group in our neighborhood. Not sure how one gets into the group, but I know they call them "lasagna parties"! tsk tsk!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Hecks no. I am not a sharer. :)

Julie- that cracks me up!! How did you find out about that?? More details...do you know who the members are?

Beth

[Octobermommy]

Uh, no. Could not go there.

[KBecks]

I think it's a lot better as a fantasy than a reality. I don't have any experience to know for sure.

[LarsMal]

Hecks no. I am not a sharer. :)

Julie- that cracks me up!! How did you find out about that?? More details...do you know who the members are?

Beth

I found out from a neighbor, who heard from another neighbor. Turns out it's widely known that there is a group in our neighborhood (it's a big planned community, and it's out there, but *supposedly* no one from our smaller subdivision is in it). They call them lasagna parties, and the one neighbor found out b/c his neighbor was invited! They declined!!

[beachmoms]

UMMMMM.....No Thanks! No sharing here either.

[bubbaray]

Ewwwww. No way.

And now I'm never gonna be able to look the same at a tray of lasagna again.... Ugh.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I think it's a lot better as a fantasy than a reality. I don't have any experience to know for sure.

:yeahthat:

Not a relationship that was meant to be "shared". I feel sorry for people who think this is okay. Marriage is a sacred institution. To be frank, it offends me that most don't treat it as such.

[ellies mom]

Ewwwww. No way.

And now I'm never gonna be able to look the same at a tray of lasagna again.... Ugh.

Man, thats what we are having for dinner tonight. I wonder if it is too late to send out for pizza?

Not something I'd be interested in either. Images. Yuck.

[LarsMal]

Ewwwww. No way.

And now I'm never gonna be able to look the same at a tray of lasagna again.... Ugh.

DH and I would like to know if "lasagna" was chosen randomly, like, "Hey, we could say lasagna out loud and no one would know what we mean." or if there is symbolism to is. Bleh!!! (maybe we don't really want to know)

My friend told me I should try to get invited just to see what it's all about (um...no)!!! I told her I would be PO'd if I showed up and there wasn't any lasagna to eat! I'd rather have lasagna than someone else's husband!!!

[MMEand1]

I agree with the PP that marriage is sacred...at least to my DH and I.

I used to live on a military base where if you had white rocks in your front yard, then you were part of "the group".

IMO, Blech...that's just not right...
MP

[fortato]

Sure...

What are you and Rusty doing on Saturday night??

Just to let you know... Mike is a screamer.

[MontrealMum]

EEEEEEW! And when I'm done cringing...I barely have time/energy for the one I have! Apparently, in the Plateau area here (where all the exciting and trendy things happen) there are clubs where you can go to do this sort of thing. You have to be a private member and there are velvet ropes outside. There was one next to a restaurant we liked to go to. I know about this because they keep getting shut down - their euphamisms aren't working I guess, technically it's illegal here in the city of strip clubs - and then it's on the news.

[Tondi G]

Not my piece of cake, er Lasagna! I couldn't imagine sharing nor do I desire anything new!

[kransden]

I am so old... I thought you meant swing dancing... then I read the post and realized what you actually meant lol! It gives Italian Night a whole new meaning ;).

[shilo]

Would you/Could you????

no and no. have you heard the saying "just because i'm on a diet doesn't mean i can't look at the menu?" that's about as far as we'd ever go - you know, totally in our heads? i know what actresses DH thinks are HOT and he know's i've got a soft spot for a few fictional hero's of my own b/c we're just open with e/o that way and always have been. but i'd have a hard time being platonic _friends_ with someone whom i might have a 'crush' on, let alone actually ever considering expanding that friendship to the point of a physical intimate relationship... with our without DH's permission/knowledge. and with a strange couple we just met in a club - ummm, NO WAY.

lori

[Pennylane]

No way, the thought just grosses me out. Plus I am way too jealous!!

Ann

[JTsMom]

I told her I would be PO'd if I showed up and there wasn't any lasagna to eat! I'd rather have lasagna than someone else's husband!!!

:hysterical:

Definitely not my cup of tea- I could never handle seeing DH with someone else, and I too would rather have the lasagna, but to each their own. I couldn't care less what other consenting adults do, but I just dont understand it.

I know in S. FL (where we used to live) there were several clubs-not that I ever went to one. If you google it for your area, I'd bet you'd find them just about everywhere.

[ThreeofUs]

My parents and their WWII generation did a lot of "swinging", and growing up an observer I didn't see that it added to their quality of life. Compared with more conservative families, there seemed to be more jealousy, abuse, bad feelings and general strife attendant to the lifestyle.

For me, I came to the conclusion that it was morally bankrupt and plain impractical from emotional and public-health points of view. If that was what marriage was about, I wanted no part of it. (Obviously, I married someone with rather strong views on this type of behavior....)

Now, having seen friends who practice this lifestyle go through the same horrors as my parents and their friends, I find myself wondering why anyone would ever call it "freedom".

[Corie]

Sure...

What are you and Rusty doing on Saturday night??

Just to let you know... Mike is a screamer.



I'll pencil you guys in my calendar.

[Laurel]

No way! I just couldn't- None of the husbands I know are even close to as hot as mine! ;)

But in all seriousness, I just can't see ever doing that, I'm firmly monogamous. I'd die if we were ever asked. I think our current chances are pretty low, as most of the couples we know are so busy with young kids that they barely have time for sex with each other!

[JMS]

It's more common in certain circles then you might think. Personally, the answer would be no I haven't and I probably would not. But I don't judge those who do. My feeling towards anything sexual, is that as long as it's consenting adults involved, who am I to pass judgement, or even care.

My main concerns would be long term repercussions and complications but not moral issues (and I actually consider myself a highly moral person). I honestly can not think of one man who I consider more attractive than DH and I feel there is a very, very strong likelihood that no man would be better (for me) in bed, so what's the point? There are other ways to find "newness".

[kijip]

Um, NO. I don't care what anyone else does but for crying out loud one plus side for me to getting married was having ONE partner. No condoms, no STDs, no awkward newness. I say stick to what I know to be great already. :)

[clc053103]

I totally wanted to ask this question!!

Since I don't even have the time or energy to have sex with my own husband as much as he would like, I'm not up for finding additional partners, thanks!

And I really don't like lasagna that much....

[clc053103]

sorry duplicate post!

[Gena]

We're not as it goes against our personal and religious view of marriage.

However, we have several good friends who are polyamorous (which is not exactly the same thing as "swinging", but can include it) and we have been to some pretty interesting parties.

[BillK]

Pass! Sex cuts into enough of my video gaming as it is - not adding any more partners thanks! :ROTFLMAO:

[kellij]

Definitely not. But I would love to hear more about the "interesting parties!" I find it kind of fascinating because I can't imagine. I would be crushed if my husband ever acted remotely interested in being with anyone else.

On my 21st birthday through the haze of WAY too many shots, one of my closest friends propositioned me to be with him and my friend. WTH?! I think I pretended like I didn't understand what he was saying and took off. I always wondered if my friend knew about it, or if that was his idea to see what I would do and maybe she didn't know. I went with pretending she didn't know!

[fortato]

OK... what about this... since I think our major turn off is our neighbors...

What if your neighbors/swingers were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Another good looking couple.....

[LarsMal]

OK... what about this... since I think our major turn off is our neighbors...

What if your neighbors/swingers were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Another good looking couple.....

Um...Brad Pitt, alone- SURE!!! But I think DH and I would be hiding in a dark dark room, under the covers if Brad and Angelina were both present! A pregnant Angelina is more beautiful than me. No thanks, intimidating is the word that comes to mind. Plus, I've heard about her...she would scare me in the bedroom!!!!

I'll pass!

[kijip]

OK... what about this... since I think our major turn off is our neighbors...

What if your neighbors/swingers were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Another good looking couple.....

Call me old fashioned but I have to be emotionally intimate with someone to be attracted to them enough to seriously want to go through with sex. Add that to the fact that my husband is one darn attractive man and I would not change my opinion regardless how those making the invitation looked.

[punkrockmama]

Well, Jim is a real piece in my opinion, so no sharing with the cul de sac.

BUT if say, Mr. and Mrs. William Peterson, or perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Gosling moved in next door then I would be forced to throw my keys in the bowl. I think Jim would understand and take one for the team.

[Ceepa]

The thought of any of my neighbors stripping down makes me want to cry.

[StantonHyde]

3 thoughts: (or more)
1. Ew, yuck

2. DH gets a free pass if Sandra Bullock ever wants to have sex with him. I feel pretty safet on that one... I just have to figure out who my free pass would be...(it might have been Matthew M, but the no deodarant thing is not good for me)

3. I know 2 guys who did this (one with wife, the other got "time off for good behavior") They both had ISSUES.

4. I knew a girl in college who was raised in a communal house. Her parents had traditional upbringings and thus functioned well in the job world etc. She talked about getting scared in the middle of the night and going to her parents bedroom but that she never knew which woman would be in her dad's bed and then she would cry till she found her mom or mom found her. I just do not see a healthy marriage comning out of that behavior.

5. I didn't get married till I was 35 and let's just say I was "experienced". Yes, in unmarried sex there is the thrill of the chase etc and that is fun. But then when you are done, it is like "how long will he stay", will he stick around (and sometimes--will he go away!!) etc. I can say the very best thing about married sex is that when we are done, I can lie down in DH's arms and be at total peace--because he will always be there. And that feeling--nothing in the world can replace it.

[Wife_and_mommy]

It gives Italian Night a whole new meaning ;).

:hysterical: I just spit my popsicle on my keyboard!

And a funny story for you: A girl I worked with when I was a newlywed asked me if I had gone "swinging" with my DH. I told her no and wasn't interested. She was actually talking about dancing but I wasn't sure when she asked.:ROTFLMAO:

[kozachka]

Ewwwww. No way.

And now I'm never gonna be able to look the same at a tray of lasagna again.... Ugh.

:yeahthat: DH is a super jealous type, he once gave me hard time for looking at a guy on a poster :rolleyes:. And while I have no problem with him looking at attractive women (as long as it's not for too long ;)) I could NOT stand to see DH having sex with another person. Not to mention that there won't be any more trust in the relationship.

[deenass]

Would you be insulted or take it as a compliment?

[kijip]

Would you be insulted or take it as a compliment?

I would be shocked, not really flattered or insulted, just shocked. Not so much that it was going on, but that anyone that knew me would think I would be interested...

I have a friend who is in a polygamous relationship and belongs to a sex club that they have mentioned the possibility of us wanting to join. That is different than swinging, but still I am just not interested, not one tiny bit.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not to mention that there won't be any more trust in the relationship.

I think the reason it appeals to some is that both partners are ok with it so it wouldn't be viewed as a trust violation (at least as I understand it to be).

Beth

[Melbel]

I personally would not want to participate in "swinging" not only because it is contrary to my own personal values, but also because it violates the sanctity of marriage. Why get married if you want to have sex with other people? Once you have blurred the boundaries and rules, I think it is easier for couples to otherwise disrespect the marriage.

There is a group of reputed swingers, many of whom are parents of children at my DC's school. They attend church, parent meetings and "lasagna parties." We were actually at a Christmas party years ago that got a bit out of hand. Fortunately, we had already left early! Two of the swinging couples ended up having major issues (1 divorced the other separated but then reconcilliated). Apparently, one husband and the wife of another husband decided to "swing" off the clock (i.e. in the nature preserve separating the two families homes). The children of the two couples had been very close and attend school together. Needless to say, it was a big mess. I think most of the "swinging" takes place during multi-family trips. Needless to say, we will not be traveling with that crowd!

[Tracey]

HAHAHAHA! That would be a no. We did have some friends one time that I got that vibe from. I felt like they were flirting with us. The very idea is ridiculous to me and not something we would ever engage in. I don't think that lifestyle is healthy physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

Going off on a tangent...does anyone else feel that bisexuality is being shoved down our throats by the media. And I don't mean the I could love a man or a woman bisexuality. I mean the promiscuous I'll bang anything and want you to watch brand of bisexuality.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Going off on a tangent...does anyone else feel that bisexuality is being shoved down our throats by the media. And I don't mean the I could love a man or a woman bisexuality. I mean the promiscuous I'll bang anything and want you to watch brand of bisexuality.

Sex sells. The media is on a mission to desensitize us to many behaviors, thoughts, and ideas.

[Nicky]

Nah, not my thing. I guess I look at marriage differently than some.

[bubbaray]

I would be shocked, not really flattered or insulted, just shocked. Not so much that it was going on, but that anyone that knew me would think I would be interested...


:yeahthat:

I think I'd be speechless, which is a pretty rare state for me.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I guess I look at marriage differently than some.

That's the understatement of the evening. :ROTFLMAO:

[Melanie]

I used to live on a military base where if you had white rocks in your front yard, then you were part of "the group".


Whoa! Isn't it an offense in the military that could get you discharged or reprimanded or something?

[lablover]

I used to live on a military base where if you had white rocks in your front yard, then you were part of "the group".


That must be a universal sign - supposedly the swingers in our neighborhood have white rocks out front too. Thankfully our landscaping only contains mulch!

[Globetrotter]

That must be a universal sign - supposedly the swingers in our neighborhood have white rocks out front too. Thankfully our landscaping only contains mulch!

I'm glad I read this before we landscape our yard.

I can't imagine this lifestyle NOT leading to jealousy, and besides it's.... icky :nono: :22:

I am curious to know why they call them lasagna parties?? Because all the key players are as mixed up as lasagna ingredients?

Have to admit, I am curious about the parties! I can't imagine anyone inviting us, especially DH (ultranerd) so we are SAFE.

Kris

[MelissaTC]

That must be a universal sign - supposedly the swingers in our neighborhood have white rocks out front too. Thankfully our landscaping only contains mulch!


CRAP!!!!! DH put out a ton of small, white rocks in our front yard. UGH!!!!

[Elilly]

Oh no, we have a big white rock out front by the mailbox. Funny, I didn't think that the devout catholic family that we purchased the house from fit this mold, but I guess I shouldn't assume anything anymore :)

[TahliasMom]

ok. i guess i'll be the only one. i experimented around with it when i was "dating" this one guy fresh out of college ah about 12 years ago now. because it was a casual relationship it wasn't a big deal to either of us. it was an interesting lifestyle but not one i chose to participate in once i starting dating seriously. i can't share someone i am emotionally involved with but that's just me.
there are quite a bit of ppl, maybe it's the area, that are swingers, i been asked multiple times to participate and to be a partner but i guess it's not my thing. maybe i'm getting boring in my old age. lol. but to each his or her own. :)

[trales]

If white rocks are the thing, what does that say about the older generation Greek and Italian's landscaping. I know my 80 year old grandpa loves his white rocks as does all the older Greek's and Italians in thier 'hood.

If only they knew the message they were sending, or perhaps they do know, he he he.

[MartiesMom2B]

:hysterical:

Definitely not my cup of tea- I could never handle seeing DH with someone else, and I too would rather have the lasagna, but to each their own. I couldn't care less what other consenting adults do, but I just dont understand it.

I know in S. FL (where we used to live) there were several clubs-not that I ever went to one. If you google it for your area, I'd bet you'd find them just about everywhere.

Ugh I googled swingers and my hometown and I don't think my eyes will ever be the same again. Yucky, yucky, yucky. Maybe swinging would be better if I lived in a town with more attractive people, but I highly doubt it. No I need to go wash out my eyes.

[LexyLou]

Man, I have never even met a swinger...at least I don't think so and I'm from the SF Bay Area, lived in San Diego for 4 years and now live outside of NYC. I had no idea there were so many swingers out there.

Now I'm going to have to look for white rocks! Yikes!

Nope, not my thing AT ALL.

[ShanaMama]

Call me old fashioned but I have to be emotionally intimate with someone to be attracted to them enough to seriously want to go through with sex. Add that to the fact that my husband is one darn attractive man and I would not change my opinion regardless how those making the invitation looked.

:yeahthat: To me, sex is as much about the emotional connection between me & my husband as it is about the physical. I am icked out by this whole idea. Plus DH is darn sexy.

[JTsMom]

:nono: :22:




:bowdown: Excellent smiley usage! :ROTFLMAO:

[kijip]

Just for you Corie. ***** :)

[LarsMal]

If white rocks are the thing, what does that say about the older generation Greek and Italian's landscaping. I know my 80 year old grandpa loves his white rocks as does all the older Greek's and Italians in thier 'hood.

If only they knew the message they were sending, or perhaps they do know, he he he.

Well, they *do* call them "lasagna parties" around here. They had to get the name from somewhere! Oh, those dirty old Greeks and Italians!!!!

[Emmas Mom]

DH and I watched Swingtown last night. The show
has me curious.

:shake: Reality TV at it's finest....what will they think of next? Not at gunpoint would I participate. Ew, ew, yucky, yucky! Blech!! Where's the puking smilie?

[MMEand1]

So I was talking to my friend about this post the other day (she's not a swinger - no time...she has 7 kids!!!) and she said that at the base I'm at now that if you put your name in a zig-ag pattern, that it is the same as white rocks!!! We have to have our name on the front of our house on a magnetic plate and she said that if you see them that are not straight across and zig-zag, then that is the secret code!!!

[MamaMolly]

Never in a million years. I know someone who swings...he is in his seventies. Eeeeeeeewwwwwww.