DS grabbing himself when naked -- do anything?

[hillview]

DS is almost 3. Yesterday he got himself naked and started grabbing his penis etc. I ignored it. DS isn't potty trained yet and we plan to do the naked potty training thing. Should I be saying don't grab youself? Or do that in private? He is only just 3 so I feel like I should ignore it but he goes to preschool in a month. Please advise!
/hillary

[JBaxter]

Nope just leave it alone it is very normal and the more attention you draw to it the more they will do it. Its there and it feels good to them.

Now if you catch him purposefully masterbating ( and you very well may because it feels good to them ) then what I did/said was to tell them if they wanted to do that they had to go to their room and be private. If you tell them to stop or thats bad it could form an opinion in thier little minds that touching themselve is a bad thing and they get conflicting thoughts.

Every little boy I know holds on to their penis for dear life when they are naked.

[deannanb]

I was going to say the same thing...
explain that it is okay to touch your penis, but that is something you have to do in your own bedroom - not in the living room (or whereever)

[JTsMom]

DS does the same thing, constantly, if he's naked. I just ignore it. He doesn't do it if he has underwear on though, and I don't think most boys do, so I wouldn't worry about pre-school one bit.

[lizajane]

ditto everyone. my 3 year old and 5 year old are BIG fans of their "parts."

i remind them that 1) we do not hurt our bodies by yanking!
2) you can play with your own parts as much as you want when ALONE in your ROOM or bathroom
and when they want to show me their parts and giggle (3 year old) i tell him that i love to see his beautiful face and i would rather see his smile.

[hillview]

1) we do not hurt our bodies by yanking!
THANKS! He is YANKING!!
/hillary

[BeachBum]

THANKS! He is YANKING!!
/hillary

I don't know if your child is circumcised or not (or if it matters really), but I don't have a problem with yanking. I figure it's his body and he knows if it is too hard. My son is intact, and I think the yanking helps the foreskin loosen up and become retractable.

On another message board I visit someone asked about this a while back and the overwhelming response was that the moms were surprised how hard the boys pulled on it. So I think that it is pretty typical.

How you choose to handle it from there is one of those family things that everyone does a bit differently. At this point my child only messes with his when naked (bath time, pooping etc) and it is a non issue for us. If it becomes a problem later I too will handle it in a "privacy" sort of way.

[KBecks]

I have never worried about this. At some point, I might let him know that that's a private thing to do. Alek goes bottomless and touches his penis quite a bit and it's no big deal to me at this age. He is 3.5. I don't expect it to be a problem at school as he will be clothed.

[JTsMom]

Even though the yanking is kind of scary looking, I don't have a problem with it. I don't think they are really able to hurt anything doing it.

[brittone2]

DS went in phases with this. I usually just nonchalantly told him it was his penis, and I understood that it felt good to grab it. As he was a bit older like 3ish or so I would tell him he can grab all he wants in his room or another private place.

I don't tell him not to yank. I agree w/ the PP, I've always read that is beneficial for helping the foreskin loosen naturally on an intact penis.

DS really just holds his now when he's naked, but he's not quite as obsessed currently at age 4.

Whatever you say, I would discourage any talk that could make him feel guilty for touching and exploring himself.

i

[niccig]

We told DS it was something to do in private like the bathroom or his room. Then we were visiting my family and DS was running around naked and then playing with his penis. I reminded him of doing it in private, and he ran out of the room yelling "I'm going to the bathroom so I can play with my penis". Everyone laughed.

[DrSally]

I wouldn't do anything unless he starts stripping and doing it in public. Then you can have the private/public talk. Chances are, he'll only do it at home, though. It's pretty natural.

[DrSally]

We told DS it was something to do in private like the bathroom or his room. Then we were visiting my family and DS was running around naked and then playing with his penis. I reminded him of doing it in private, and he ran out of the room yelling "I'm going to the bathroom so I can play with my penis". Everyone laughed.

That's hilarious!

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

You will note that when standing in a relaxed position with arms at sides, the penis lines up almost directly with the hands. This is so men of any age will always have something to do. No one is ever so enamored of a penis as its' owner. :)