#1 and #2 in inappropriate places? Please help!

[kellij]

DS is almost 3 and a half. He's pretty much potty trained, except at night. He would have been potty trained about a year ago, but he lost interest and seemed like he could control it physically, but didn't want to have to be bothered by going to the bathroom.

Today he was tired and fussy toward the end of the day. I left him on my bed for a second and I went into the other room. He didn't want me to leave. He followed me a minute later and told me he had pee pee on his shirt. I thought he was kidding. Nope. He had peed on my comforter, on his shirt and it also soaked through to the sheet. I gave him a time out. I tried to explain why this is totally unacceptable, you know the drill.

So it was about time for him to go to bed and my husband was going to take him. Next thing we know, he had pooped on the floor. WTH? What in the world is going on?

I think that DS is a "strong-willed" child, putting it mildly. Has anyone had any remotely similar experiences and figured out anything that works?

We've also had issues with him pulling off underwear, pull-ups or whatever and pooping outside. Definitely would like that to stop too.

Advice?

[ShanaMama]

I don't have BTDT advice, but would like to suggest that if he's a strong-willed child he might be doing this as a way to assert his control. Kinda like this is a part of his world that he can control & he wants to go when & where he wants. The last thing I'd do is give a time out- that would just escalate the issue IMO. I know it's really annoying to deal with accidents but you don't want to turn it into a bigger issue than it is. IMO a low key reminder about the appropriate place for going to the bathroom would be a better reaction, coupled with a matter of fact clean up.
My other thought is could it be a physical issue? Did he seem like he willfully went to the bathroom on your bed & floor or was it truly an accident? How did he act afterwards- proud, embarrassed, uncomfortable...? That would kinda determine my reaction.

[schums]

When DC were still having accidents, we took a low key approach. When they had an accident, they helped clean it up (in a this is what we do when an accident happens way, not a "you're a bad child punishment" way). In your peeing on the bed example, DS would have helped me strip the bed and put the linens in the washer. Pooping on the floor meant they had to get the paper towel and help clean it up. This meant touching the poop (through the towel) which was enough to prevent frequent repeats of the event.

If the "accident" was on purpose, like stripping (inside or out) and then pooping, I'd be more inclined to issue a time-out, along with a short discussion on why we don't poop in the yard. I'd also watch him like a hawk, and any time he made a move to strip, we'd be making a trip to the potty.

GL and HTH!

[WatchingThemGrow]

Is there anything he might find rewarding going on after the event?

DD has been really good about getting poop in the right place for a couple weeks. TWICE on Tuesday, she exploded and had to get a bath afterwards. On Wed., she brought me the poop-filled undies :signthankspin: and was begging for her favorite thing ever - a bath. I think was associating the 2 things together, so I'm working to break that association.