We are trying to wean

[bethie_73]

So I am siting here listening to DS scream as DH tries to put him to bed. Don't get me wrong DH is very involved, but DS is a huge nurser and has NO desire to stop.

Ugh this is hard. :(

[purpleeyes]

Hugs, mama! Good luck!

:22:

[DrSally]

How old is DS? I've been weaning since DS was 18 months (slowly dropping feedings). DH isn't avail a lot of the time to put DS down to bed, so that can make it harder. I personally cannot tolerate the crying and begging for nursing. I'm doing the don't ask, don't refuse, distraction thing, but it really prolongs the weaning process. Ds is 2.5 now and can go several days wo/nursing, but still likes to nurse maybe 5 times/week. For my comfort level, though, I'm willing to trade the extended time frame for not having to suffer through his pain.

[DeeEast]

How old is your DS? I nursed all 3 of my kids and weaned the twins at 18 months or so.

[bubbaray]

I recently had to wean DD#2 (almost 17m) so that I could take a prescription antibiotic that I couldn't take while nursing (and my Dr. is very BFg friendly, but she wouldn't prescribe it until I had completely weaned). In late January, we were down to 2 sessions a day b/c I was back at work. I dropped the morning feeding mid/late May. So, it was just the evening/bedtime feeding to drop at the end. I didn't really *do* anything -- DH just put her to bed. I guess he's sick of my whining and moping around since JANUARY with this stupid sinus infection. Anyway, she cried and was out of sorts that first night, but has never looked back. I was SHOCKED. Seriously, shocked. He gave her a sippy of water and that is her new nightime "need". I've been replaced by a sippy cup of cold water, LOL.

With DD#1, I recall it being harder. She was younger, though -- I weaned her completely by 12m (happy birthday to her, LOL).

Good luck -- hang in there.

[DrSally]

I recently had to wean DD#2 (almost 17m) so that I could take a prescription antibiotic that I couldn't take while nursing (and my Dr. is very BFg friendly, but she wouldn't prescribe it until I had completely weaned). In late January, we were down to 2 sessions a day b/c I was back at work. I dropped the morning feeding mid/late May. So, it was just the evening/bedtime feeding to drop at the end. I didn't really *do* anything -- DH just put her to bed. I guess he's sick of my whining and moping around since JANUARY with this stupid sinus infection. Anyway, she cried and was out of sorts that first night, but has never looked back. I was SHOCKED. Seriously, shocked. He gave her a sippy of water and that is her new nightime "need". I've been replaced by a sippy cup of cold water, LOL.

With DD#1, I recall it being harder. She was younger, though -- I weaned her completely by 12m (happy birthday to her, LOL).

Good luck -- hang in there.

Wow, sometimes I wonder if it would really be easier than I think if I could just tolerate a little crying. Can I ask what antibiotic? I recently went on some antibiotic eyedrops (tobramycin), and neither the PA, my OB, or the pharmacist knew anything about safety for BFing. Dr. Hale says it's fine though.

[bubbaray]

Wow, sometimes I wonder if it would really be easier than I think if I could just tolerate a little crying. Can I ask what antibiotic? I recently went on some antibiotic eyedrops (tobramycin), and neither the PA, my OB, or the pharmacist knew anything about safety for BFing. Dr. Hale says it's fine though.


The drug I couldn't use while BFg was moxifloxacin. Its related to Cipro. IIRC, the name is Avelox or something similar. It was a pill, not eye drops (though I did get eye drops too, as the SI had migrated to my eye by that time).

I think it really depends on the child. Frankly, I've been so sick that I wasn't too concerned about the crying, as long as DH could deal with it. I just went to bed and turned on my HEPA filter, which is really loud -- I didn't hear a thing. I vaguely remember it being harder with DD#1.

[bethie_73]

DS is 2.25, it did not go well last night, he was crying so hard he almost got sick. So we stopped.

I had him down, but then we went on vacation and he got sick, so it feels like we are back to square one. I have to figure out something, he does not want to wean, but I am REALLY ready. I've been trying for a while (like I said I though we were close before).

He only BF at nap and night, but he has started waking and wanting to BF because he can't get back to sleep. And if I won't he screams.

People say he will stop on his own, but its been over 2 years and I"m done, he has NO desire to stop. I've tried most of the tips out there and in Elizabeth Pantley's Toddler book. but I have a couple more. CIO etc doesn't work because he is too stubborn.

[Wife_and_mommy]

He's the same age as my ds. I understand your frustration.

Can you talk with him and let him know he can only nurse once a day? Or only in a specific chair? Does he take a paci/lovey? Have you told him that you have a say in the nursing relationship too? Can you tell him you'll replace daddy only w/ no nursing. Would be a rough couple of nights but might be worth it.

I'm not at the point yet where I'm ready to stop(though I have my moments)but I have put lots of limits on when/where he nurses. I don't have anything set as it depends on my mood but if I don't want to, I don't.

My DS has occasionally gone 2 days w/out but usually he only nurses once/day. He does get upset sometimes but that's life.

:hug: to you!

[pastrygirl]

My son just turned two and I'm SO ready to be done. He shows no signs of ever wanting to give it up, though! He's in a tantrum phase right now, complete with head-banging, so I feel like I can't turn him down. I've started to read "How Weaning Happens" from LLL to see if I can get any tips. So far, it's been about women/children who weaned at around age 4... not very encouraging for me!

[DrSally]

DS is 2.25, it did not go well last night, he was crying so hard he almost got sick. So we stopped.

I had him down, but then we went on vacation and he got sick, so it feels like we are back to square one. I have to figure out something, he does not want to wean, but I am REALLY ready. I've been trying for a while (like I said I though we were close before).

He only BF at nap and night, but he has started waking and wanting to BF because he can't get back to sleep. And if I won't he screams.

People say he will stop on his own, but its been over 2 years and I"m done, he has NO desire to stop. I've tried most of the tips out there and in Elizabeth Pantley's Toddler book. but I have a couple more. CIO etc doesn't work because he is too stubborn.

Yeah, at that age and with his love of bfing, I don't think he'd stop on his own. IKWYM, though, we were almost weaned and then DS got really bad gastroenteritis, and went back to nursing 4 times a day. I'd say 2 months later, we're back to pre-sickness levels. I do notice with DS (2.5yo) that he had tried to restart some nursings that were dropped, like the morning nursing. It's definitely a preference thing now, like "I want to nurse, I don't want cup of milk, I want your milk, etc." Have you tried having a talk with him about it, I think he would be able to understand at this point. If you're both not into it, it's prob not good to continue.

ETA: The other thing I've noticed is that when DS doesn't nurse for a day or two, the next nursing is really long. I've tried limiting the time of each nursing. When I'm ready to be done, I tell him almost time to stop and sing twinkle, twinkle, and he know when the song is done it's time to stop.

[m448]

I know it's hard but when you back off the nursing limits instituting them again is hard. I went through similar stages with both my boys. I nightweaned each one around 20 months old each but after 2 years old I limited them to naptime and bedtime. Nursing limits were important to us and I'm an extended breastfeeding mom too (my oldest just weaned at 4.5 from his one time a day before bedtime nursing that was happening just a few times a week).

The first couple of weeks of nightweaning were rough but we did it without CIO (which I don't believe in). I would let my son know that nursies go to sleep when the sun goes down. Of course that goes well until they wake up the first time. I'd remind them that nursies are asleep and hold them in my arms since we cosleep. With our first son hubby did the consoling and although there were tears we were responsive to them and the child was in our arms. We would also offer water at night too.

It would take a few weeks but they adjusted. I also made sure they had already gotten their two year molars as going through two year molar nighttime teething is awful without nursing.

oh and for more info from a well seasoned mom on the topic of nursing an intense older child and nursing limits here's a great article:

http://goybparenting.com/morejo/?p=3

[m448]

oh and I wanted to add that by mentioning my oldest nursling's weaning age I'm not saying you should go on if you don't want to. Just that I would not have made it that long without any limits and yes they were hard to stick to but like the article mentioned, he felt more secure and relieved when the limits were instituted. FTR, as babies and even until about 15 mos of age I'm all about letting them nurse when they need to.

[brittone2]

We do limits here. DS was 2 when I was pg with DD and he nursed throughout my whole pregnancy. I had sore nipples but wasn't at the extreme end of that fortunately, but as my supply dipped, it was uncomfortable and I did impose some limits and he was able to work with me.

DS is 4 and still tandem nursing with my 18 mo old DD. DS nurses in the morning and at bedtime and if there's a major upset or injury. He does better with limits and so do I. He's also old enough that I can talk through things with him pretty easily.

There may be a solution other than complete weaning that might work for both of you, but obviously if you are 100 percent ready to be done, then limits, etc. aren't going to be a help to you.

[bethie_73]

First of DH put DS to sleep tonight with no screaming!!!!!! :cheerleader1: :cheerleader1:

Ok, now.... I do love to BF and in theory I don't have an issue. But DS wakes frequently and wants to nurse, and I'm just not getting enough sleep, and in the process neither is DS or DH.

I have explained that Mommy milk goes night night, tried the Mommy gets cranky when you wake her often, I'll feed you in just a minute, lets cuddle. Nothing has worked. He does understand but it is his routine and he doesn't want to change. So I'm trying to do things slowly and deliberately.

He has also started a bad tantrum phase, and the less sleep/ mommy time I get the faster I become frustrated, so I think it is less about the weaning and more about the sleeping. I def would continue BF with limits, but I really think he is still doing it because of routine and we want to change that without any trauma.

Thanks for all the responses!!! Its great to see what has worked for others!