What I'm worrying about today - dc#2 learning

[KBecks]

OK, someone here (Beth, maybe?) mentioned some research a while ago about how the first born gets an intelligence boost and the younger siblings, and possibly closely spaced younger siblings don't get as much.... I don't know... experience.....??

OK, so I'm sitting here worrying about, and have had this worry circulating in my mind for some time, about if I'm doing enough for #2 to have learning opportunities and if I'm teaching him enough or doing enough with him.

Could we talk about this? John (#2), seems to be picking up on language much faster than Alek, and he's a great imitator of course, so he seems to be learning from Alek. At the same time, neither child gets as much attention as as before, and having #3 is going to put more squeeze on learning time.

Not that I've been big into "learning experiences" that are planned out per se, but just things like letting Johnny help cook and break eggs and pour water and do things, Alek gets to do more because he's older and more capable, etc.

Also, a not so related thing, Johnny is almost 2 and wants to be carried -- A LOT! It's driving me a little nuts. Alek also wants to be carried a lot, he will say, "I can't walk", and he'll lay on the floor, and I'm such a sucker I'll carry him. OK, my back is not in the best shape and I may need to work on reducing the amount I carry the boys. I have toyed with the idea of getting a sling for John but I think that would be a little too enabling for him, especially with a little brother on the way.

Thanks for letting me purge. :)

[hillview]

I think you sound like a very thoughtful mommy! Maybe think about some activities that DS #2 could do -- maybe not the egg breaking so much but I did mixing and pouring with DS at 2 years old. W/R/T the carrying thing, my DS (almost 3) does this at times. I can't really carry him far, he is almost 40 lbs. I will sometimes say I will carry him to the corner then he has to walk from there. I also try to take the stroller with me (DS #2 is in it -- he is 10 months) with the extra seat (P&T) so he has a choice.

Good luck! I will be watching this thread!
/hillary

[bubbaray]

Gosh, you must be supermom -- I'm having the opposite problem. DD#2 is not speaking like DD#1 was at the same age (then again, DD#1 had over 10 words that strangers could understand at her 12m appt and she could identify those words with pictures in a non-familiar book -- her dr was shocked). Frankly, I think its because I don't read to DD#2 nearly as much as I did with DD#1.

I'm also finding that DD#2 lets DD#1 do stuff for her, including talk. My daycare says this is common, and that DD#2 does talk around other kids, but not around DD#1 (b/c DD#1 talks for her). Obviously, I don't see DD#2 without DD#1 being around, so my perspective on her speech abilities is skewed.

I will be stalking this thread to get some ideas!

[bubbaray]

Also, a not so related thing, Johnny is almost 2 and wants to be carried -- A LOT! It's driving me a little nuts. Alek also wants to be carried a lot, he will say, "I can't walk", and he'll lay on the floor, and I'm such a sucker I'll carry him. OK, my back is not in the best shape and I may need to work on reducing the amount I carry the boys. I have toyed with the idea of getting a sling for John but I think that would be a little too enabling for him, especially with a little brother on the way.


We had this problem with DD#1 when I was PG with DD#2. I ended up on lifting restrictions fairly early on, so I really had no choice. I couldn't carry her and eventually, she figured it out that mommy couldn't carry her (but daddy could).

[LarsMal]

This has been on my mind a lot lately, too. DD (almost 18mos) has a great vocabulary and verbal skills. I started tracking her words for her upcoming 18mos appointment, and she has close to 60 words and she's starting to string 2 and 3 word phrases together. I know a lot of that is b/c she hears more language than DS did since there is more conversation going on around her. I think I take her language for granted, though, because having language doesn't mean she has "intelligence".

This became very clear to me the other day when I set out a sorting game for her to do and she had NO clue what to do with the shapes. It took a few tries and she figured it out, but I realized it's b/c I've never done it with her before! DS loved puzzles and books, neither of which DD is interested in. Because of his love for puzzles and books, by 18mos he could recognize shapes, colors, and letters. Not that we forced it, he just enjoyed it and we had the time to spend doing it with him. DD doesn't know any of that b/c I just haven't taken the time to do it with her.

Luckily DS is going off to preschool in the fall so I'll have more one-on-one time with DD to work on that stuff. What she does have is better social skills than DS b/c she has only known life with a sibling.

It's hard enough to get through the day with two, let alone figuring out how to "educate" them along the way!!! That's what school is for, right?!

[Piglet]

I said it yesterday in another post and I will say it agian today - personality!! My older 2 are like night and day. They have been from the start. Even my DS1 picked up on it one day and said, "DS2 is go-go go and I am more stop-stop-sop", LOL! It is totally true. DS1 was into books from the start and has never put a book down. We would sit with him for HOURS reading because that is what he liked best. DS2 isn't getting that expereince, but that is not only because we have less time - it is because he is not into books as much as DS1 was. DS2 is a little over 3 and by this age, DS1 could tell you every letter, every sound that letter made and could pick out the letters as we were driving in the car. DS2 couldn't be bothered. He is too busy climbing, jumping and doing things. He can dress himself, button his shirts, ride a bike, climb a jungle gym. Nothing we could ever do would have changed their personalities and inner strengths. My role as a parent is not to make my kids smart or athletic, it is to identify and nurture their interests.