We're having TWINS?? (freaking out)

[BeachBum]

Well we found out yesterday that we are expecting twins! We were totally prepared and ready for a singleton, but Twins feels like our whole world is thrown for a loop. We've been on fertility meds, so we really should have given it more thought...but we just didn't think it would happen to us :)
We are excited of course, but just can't stop thinking of how different it will be...where will they sleep?, can I nurse 2?, do we need a nanny?do we need a new car? Our son will be 3.5 when they are born. How hard is that going to be on him?
My hospital doesn't have a NCIU, so I will have to find a new OB at a hospital an hour a way. I will have to drag DS to all those appointments too...Oh boy...I just feel overwhelmed and they aren't even here.

I would just really love to hear some reassuring stories.

[KBecks]

Congratulations!!! I'm sure you'll get lots of great thoughts from the twin moms here.

[lorinick]

Hugs to you. You will be fine. You just need to sit with it. Your just nerveous and scared. There nothing wrong with that. I have three friends with twins and my cousin has twins. None of them have nannies. The one had a three year old when she found out. You can do this! Think about how exciting this is. Scary but awsome. There are many twin moms groups you may want to join. I'm sorry you'll have to drive an hour to a new doctor. Congrats! You guys can do this.

[caheinz]

We're going through the same thing. (But no fertility meds, so talk about complete shock when they told us!)

It took me a while to get past shock, disbelief, and denial. One thing we're trying to do is talk to people with twins... Look to see if there's a club local to you -- our local one is having a picnic this weekend, so we're looking forward to meeting people who are surviving with two or more!

You can look up clubs on this site: http://www.nomotc.org/ (National Organization of Mothers of Twin (or more) Clubs)

I think it's going to be wild ride, but I suspect it will be as rewarding as it can be difficult, just like having one kid is!

[ThreeofUs]

Congratulations! And PP's are right: it will take some time for you to get used to the news.

Better you should be thinking like this now than later, kwim? I have a friend with twins who breezed through without considering the extra effort - and was in shock after she came home with the babies.

Have a wonderful pregnancy!

[gatorsmom]

Boy, do I remember that feeling of freaking out. Just when you think you might have the whole baby experience down pat here comes a totally new experience. And it will be a totally new experience. If there is one thing I've learned it's that unless you have had twins, you don't know what you are talking about. Little old ladies who hear one of my babies crying when I"m out shopping want to stop and help me or give advice but they can't. Because they don't know how different it is to have twins. You are about to join a VERY exclusive club.

But it is soooo doable. My advice to get through this is A)accept all offers of help (and start writing down names of people who offer) B)start setting up your help network (people who could make a grocery run or diaper run or wash a load of laundry for you) C) get organized around your house D)start frequenting a good multiples message board E)accept that your house and life will not be perfect again and that's ok.

Here's a link to a good message board for parents of multiples:
http://www.babycenter.com/306_twins-multiples_1517027.bc

and come here to vent and ask for advice too!!!

ETA: the Barbara Luke book about Expecting Multiples is an excellent guide to multiples pregnancies. Multiples pregnancies are also a whole 'nother ballgame (despite what your OBGYN might say).

[Papa Joe]

Congratulations!

My twins are coming in about 6 weeks... my b g twins!!! We'll have to share tips.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Congratulations!!

My BIL has a 3.5 and twins. The 3.5 has his moments but *loves* his siblings. The grandparents take him overnight once/week which is helpful. During the pg, they took him a couple nights/week. SIL *loves* them for it.

You will do great. :)

[Melaine]

It makes my heart start racing just remembering how that feeling feels!
We were not doing fertility or even TTC, and we didn't find out we were having twins until the 20 week ultrasound. You could've knocked me over with a feather....
Our first pregnancy....twins?!?
It is absolutely an "exclusive" club....although that probably may not make sense to a lot of people. You just can't imagine until you're there. But you absolutely WILL be able to do it! I'd be glad to give more advice later but my main thing (that I tell myself still everyday) is to remain flexible. Finding out your "one" baby is suddenly two totally changes a lot about your plans and your expectations and your future...so you have to remind yourself to be flexible as you go on the journey! There are a lot of challenges and ones that many people will never begin to understand...so be flexible and you will be able to meet them. Definitely connect with a multiples group. You can save your sanity that way! God Bless your family...twins are about 10 times as difficult and therefore immeasurably more precious than you can imagine!

[mamaoftwins]

It makes my heart start racing just remembering how that feeling feels!
We were not doing fertility or even TTC, and we didn't find out we were having twins until the 20 week ultrasound. You could've knocked me over with a feather....
Our first pregnancy....twins?!?
It is absolutely an "exclusive" club....although that probably may not make sense to a lot of people. You just can't imagine until you're there. But you absolutely WILL be able to do it! I'd be glad to give more advice later but my main thing (that I tell myself still everyday) is to remain flexible. Finding out your "one" baby is suddenly two totally changes a lot about your plans and your expectations and your future...so you have to remind yourself to be flexible as you go on the journey! There are a lot of challenges and ones that many people will never begin to understand...so be flexible and you will be able to meet them. Definitely connect with a multiples group. You can save your sanity that way! God Bless your family...twins are about 10 times as difficult and therefore immeasurably more precious than you can imagine!

:yeahthat:

Hugs! It does seem overwhelming, but do not worry!!! You WILL be able to do it. As a PP said, join your local chapter of the NOMOTC now, do not wait until you deliver. You will be glad that you did. Having those fellow twin moms to talk to has helped me a number of times - and I met a great friend through that club. :)

We found out at our 5wk u/s that it was two. Suspected it from my first blood test b/c the levels were so high, and frat twins are rampant in my family. But, even knowing that early having that much time didn't help me to get used to the idea. :)

Some early advice:
Drink lots of water, please, you can start contracting if you get dehydrated. Get as much rest as you can - I know this will be hard with a DS and traveling for doc's appts, but especially after around the 20wk mark. Preterm labor is really common with twins and not enough rest or staying hydrated enough can bring that on. You can nurse two, just get a lactation consultant (someone that has worked with twin moms before, not just any lactation consultant) to help if need be. Find one through La Leche League or your hosp. I also second a PP about getting organized now - organization is the key to getting through those first few weeks.

Twins are hard, but they are the BEST! I am so glad (after surviving those first few completely sleepless months) that we had two. Love my guys. :)

[la mama]

While I can't give any advice, I can completely understand how you feel. My pregnancy was a surprise to begin with and then to find out that it was twins was quite unfathomable! I have found one mother of twins as my friend and the info/advice she gives is better than anything.

[Papa Joe]

Congrats... My twins are due in 6 weeks and I am very excited as well. At least I have some experience with my 2 year old toddler.

[BeachBum]

Thanks for the responses, links, and suggestions. It's been a few days and I'm feeling much better about things now. At least I have the feeling that I can do it--and like it! :)
Unfortunately there is no twin moms group in my metro area. I'm really surprised.

[Melaine]

This may sound kind of crazy....but two of my friends met at their OB's office and found they were both due around the same time with twins...I met them through an local group (freecycle as a matter of fact) and now we have dinner once a month and meet up for play groups at least every week or so, not to mention lots of supportive phone calls and e-mails. If there is any way to find out through your dr. of another woman expecting twins it would be great to hook up with her....it's really awesome to meet parents of older twins, but so great to have someone around the same mile marker as you start out the journey...
Here is a great message board to ask questions and stuff...
http://www.twinsmagazine.com/vbulletin/
have you found out the sexes of your twins yet?
I had been so psyched to find out if we were having a boy or a girl; I couldn't believe when the dr. told me there were two and he couldn't decide the sex of either that first ultrasound. I thought I was going to go crazy until we had another two ultrasounds to determine for sure!

[08njmomoftwins]

Congratulations!

My twins are coming in about 6 weeks... my b g twins!!! We'll have to share tips.

congratulations on your twins!! :bighand: how are you feeling these days.. I'm 1st time mom and 19 weeks with twins and my feet already look like pork rolls shortly after I get up.

I'm a newbie on this site and it's great to see fellow nj mom's on here.

[mjmamma]

I have a 3.5 yr old daughter, a 2 yr old son and I just had g g twins 2.5 weeks ago. I really prepared for the worst and it is going better than expected. More so than my singletons, my twins are content to lie in their crib and look at each other while I help the other two with things. It has worked out well.

My advice would be to line people up to come over and entertain your oldest because feeding and diaper changing can take an hour+. Also, prepare for their arrival in advance, as much as you can because, obviously, time will be limited later. Go with the flow and it'll be fine. People really do seem to understand that twins can be more demanding and have been great about offering help. I was told I'd need 'so much help' but it really is managable.

Good luck.

[novmber]

congratulations!!