GCM Conclusion: 3 under 4 or 4 under 5 --> me 6 ft under

[ha98ed14]

So I have been reading GCM Gentle Dicipline Board for about 2 weeks, per the recs from moms here. I have come to the following conclusions:

1) These gentle parenting techniques are possible to employ, but require A LOT more time and effort than other forms of parenting. Conclusion: No wonder they call it GOYB parenting. (I wonder if it could help me lose weight, Lol!)

2) I will have to do a lot of "self talk" to talk myself down from my gut reaction to yell, freak out, or otherwise react in a not-gentle way. Note to Self: Start talking to myself NOW!

3) While the women there have lots of great ideas on how to redirect etc, I find the moms here give more lengthy and thorough explanations of their method, which I find particularly helpful. Public Statement: I love this board and the ladies on it :)

4) Reading about some of these moms' struggles, it is clear that a lot of the issues arise just because the kiddos are young and there are lots of them. Little bodies with not a lot of self control bumping up against each other and moms stretched thin because there are 3 under 4 or 4 under 5. It must be so hard. There are days I am so in need of a break when DH comes home, and I only have one. Sad but true. Conclusion: *I* need lots of space (4+ years, maybe) between DD and any possible future siblings. I give moms-of-lots tons of credit and I know their children are a joy to them, but I do not want to deal with some of the issues that can be avoided if the older child is A LOT older.

I will continue to read the Gentle Discipline Forum for gentle ways to redirect DD. I can see that there is lots to be learned. Thanks for the recommendation :)

[calv]

is there a link to the board? please and TIA! :D

[ha98ed14]

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?PHPSESSID=6bbe6917ba981422048615e286023f 76&board=19.0

HTH!

[m448]

nah, I think it's certain ages that do you in. Even with just my oldest going through 3 & 4 has been the hardest and I hear the same from my friends with just one. I'm a GCM mom, glad to see you've read up.

[niccig]

I'm the same as you, my natural instinct is to yell and freak out. It's how I was raised, there was/is drama in my parents' house. I still haven't perfected it, I have most trouble when I'm tired or sick. But, on the whole I can say that it works to stay calm when your DC do something that needs a form of discipline. If you get worked up, they get worked up and you feed off each other and you forget whatever was the issue that set you off and you're both angry and upset. Staying calm is more effective for me. It does get easier to stay calm the more you do it. Again, last week was a dismal failure as I was sick, but this week, we're back to having fun and calmly dealing with things that happen.

And I love the "Get off your butt" parenting. If you want your child to behave better, you have to get involved and help them learn. Just telling them what to do over and over and over again doesn't work - in fact I think DS listens less the more I talk!

[hillview]

Any idea when they will reopen membership? I've been stalking them and reading. I even emailed but got no response. I love the site and love the book recommendations. I would love to join!
/hillary

[ha98ed14]

Any idea when they will reopen membership? I've been stalking them and reading. I even emailed but got no response. I love the site and love the book recommendations. I would love to join!
/hillary

No idea, but maybe you could email them and ask. I think there is much to be gained from reading others' posts. Our probems are not all that different. For me, joining was not as attractive as just reading because there are other aspects of GCM that I don't subscribe to. I would feel as tho I was pretending just to get advice. But I have found lots of good ideas for how to redirect DD. So far the best is that I need to physically remove her from the thing I don't want her to have... Duh! :P

[Karenn]

I'm not sure if they know when they're going to be open to new members again. It was supposed to be June 1, but the board owner posted a few days ago saying that she needed to wait a bit longer before opening membership again.

[TahliasMom]

i would say 3 to 4 yrs has been the most challenging and it's getting more say by the day. i try to adhere to the GCM methods but at times it's so frustrating especially when we're trying to get out the door in the am. I just want her to do something, get moving, finish up and she lags and lags. she's a big SPD, bit spirited so very sensitive. if i push her too much she bursts out crying. grr. i try to step back and reset or i get snappy. by the end of the day my patience runs thin and i just want to get us fed and get her bathed and in bed. we rarely make the 8pm mark which sometimes backfires. then i'm off to job #2. i know at times she stalls cuz she doesn't want me to leave. i have to be firm and assure her she'll be fine, etc

like right now she's laying in bed singing and talking. she had a rough day so i skipped work tonight. but now i am tryig to resist the urge to go in there and tell her to zip it. i already know i'm going to have a rough morning as it's an hour pass her bedtime and she'll be a bear in the am.

but all can do is persevere and hope that this too will soon pass...

[Wife_and_mommy]

i would say 3 to 4 yrs has been the most challenging and it's getting more say by the day. i try to adhere to the GCM methods but at times it's so frustrating especially when we're trying to get out the door in the am. I just want her to do something, get moving, finish up and she lags and lags. she's a big SPD, bit spirited so very sensitive. if i push her too much she bursts out crying. grr. i try to step back and reset or i get snappy. by the end of the day my patience runs thin and i just want to get us fed and get her bathed and in bed. we rarely make the 8pm mark which sometimes backfires. then i'm off to job #2. i know at times she stalls cuz she doesn't want me to leave. i have to be firm and assure her she'll be fine, etc

like right now she's laying in bed singing and talking. she had a rough day so i skipped work tonight. but now i am tryig to resist the urge to go in there and tell her to zip it. i already know i'm going to have a rough morning as it's an hour pass her bedtime and she'll be a bear in the am.

but all can do is persevere and hope that this too will soon pass...

Hugs to you!! Why don't you get into bed with her and cuddle until you're both asleep. She'll eat it up and it'll soften you too. That always turns my sour mood when dd's driving me bananas. :hug: