Taking the paci away- HELP!!!

[LarsMal]

DS and DD both use a paci. It's really bad b/c DS has speech issues, and he's just such a whiner that I give in and let him have it more than he should. Today he (accidentally!) had it when the speech therapist showed up- OOPS!!! I took it away from him and told him he can't have it again until nap time.

He's pretty much been crying ever since! AHHHH!!!! I'm trying to redirect him and he's just not having it. How long does "paci detox" last!?

I'm trying to be strong. Don't give in...don't give in!! (DD could care less. She hasn't asked for it once, but DS is throwing a major fit).

Tell me it'll get better! PLEASE!!!

[cvanbrunt]

Be strong mom. I'm pretty sure a glass (or glasses) of a nice pinot noir makes detox go faster.

If it helps, we did cold turkey and I don't remember how long the crying lasted so it couldn't have been too long.

[Twoboos]

Been there, still kinda going through that.

I started "detox" (love it!) one morning, told DD2 (about your DSs age) her paci was only for bed, and when she was done she could get out of crib. She sucked a while longer while considering this, then eventually put down the paci and said OK. It went MUCH better than I expected. In times of trauma she would beg to go sit in her crib to have it, but it didn't last long.

About 6 mos (?) after that, we started talking up the paci fairy. DD agreed that Paci Fairy should came and took her paci's to a new baby who needed them. That has been MUCH more difficult, seems paci fairy also accidentally took naps, too. But overall DD has been all right.

Hang in there... it will be a few days. You might want to try the "for bed only" route first.

Good luck!!

[clc053103]

DS went "nap/bedtime only" at 1 1/2 with absolutely no reaction at all. we just explained that it was for bed/nap only, and he never really asked for it again. However, he's approaching 3 now and despite many attempts, he still is not paci free in his bed! School took it off him for naps and he accepts that, but we can't get him to lose it at home. In fact, he is worse with it at home on days when he is denied it at school- he tries to sneak upstairs to get it early!

We tried cold turkey but it was just a disaster. We decided to wait until it was his decision- meaning, when he was old enough to understand more fully the paci fairy, or, even (hanging head in shame) willing to trade it permanently for some great overpriced toy.

[Pennylane]

It will get better!! We did cold turkey with all three of our dc at age 2. There were of course tears, missed naps and lots of extra night wakenings, but we got through it! Once I took them away though,there was no going back.

I love the idea though of leaving it out for the paci fairy and then putting a toy or something in it's place.

Good luck!
Ann

[carolinamama]

We were doing so well with naps and bedtimes only. We had a few rough days when I started this rule but I always told ds he could have it in his bed so if he was feeling really overwhelmed I would actually find him in his crib (he can climb in) having what we started calling "mimi time" since paci is called mimi in our house. He could have it but nowhere but his bed.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. DS got mono and was sicker than he has ever been. His throat was raw, fever high, he was miserable and it lasted a good week. We allowed the paci back out of his bed and now it seems that he is more attached to it than ever.

Stick with your decision and I think you will find things much better over the next few days. DS is so attached to his and we will tackle the issue again in a few weeks after we are settled in our new house. I'll probably be on here looking for advice and support from you after you've gotten through the hard part.

[nofeea]

I got great advice about this on this board :)
With DD#1, we decided to stop it even at nap/bedtime when she turned 3. We chickened out at her birthday, but went for it a month later when we went on vacation. We told her that we 'left them home'. Of course we had them with us just in case but we endured 2 nights of crying (the second wasn't as bad as the first) and that was it. As soon as we returned home she wanted them back but we stayed strong and took her to "Build-a-Bear' where she made a bear and we let them sew up the pacis into the bear's hand. That way, she could still technically take them to bed with her but she couldn't get to them! Two and a half years later she still asks us when she can get them out :)
DD #2 gave them up herself at a year and half (just tossed them out of her crib and never looked back...)
DS at a year and half gets them only in his crib but from the way he loves them I think we'll be making another bear in the future...

Good Luck!

[HIU8]

DS didn't give up his paci until age 3. He gave it to the ped at his 3 yr old checkup. We actually talked it up for about a month before and prepared him. Afterwards it was hard, but we kept reminding him that he gave it to the ped for another little boy to use (of course, the ped threw it out). We had tried several times before to get rid of it by cutting it or doing a sticker chart and nothint worked. He still talks about it (he is 3.5) and how his baby sister can use one but he gave his away.

[HIU8]

DS didn't give up his paci until age 3. He gave it to the ped at his 3 yr old checkup. We actually talked it up for about a month before and prepared him. Afterwards it was hard, but we kept reminding him that he gave it to the ped for another little boy to use (of course, the ped threw it out). We had tried several times before to get rid of it by cutting it or doing a sticker chart and nothint worked. He still talks about it (he is 3.5) and how his baby sister can use one but he gave his away.

[ShanaMama]

We decided to wait until it was his decision- meaning, when he was old enough to understand more fully the paci fairy, or, even (hanging head in shame) willing to trade it permanently for some great overpriced toy.

This is my plan- no shame involved here! DD doesn't really have a lovey other than a paci & blanky and I am not in such a big rush to take it away. I am very strict that it's only for bed (and looong car rides) but she is welcome to go into her bed to relax with it when she wants. She isn't speech delayed but she does drool and has a flacid lower lip because of it.
Someone made the point to me that the security she gets from it is very important. Rather have a child that sucks a paci than an insecure one. I don't buy that 100% but I do see the sense in it. She's a very mature three and we casually talk about how one day she'll tell me no more pacis and we'll go to the store and pick out a really big prize.
She told me recently that when we have the new baby she's going to give all her pacis to the new baby. I actually went the other way & reassured her that even after the new baby is born she can still suck pacis and be a big sister. I don't want her to feel that she's losing her comfort mechanism when so much else is changing in her life. I sometimes offer her paci to her when she really needs help calming down.
So I guess I'm the dissenting voice feeling that it's really not so bad. I am confident that she won't get married sucking that paci. She'll probably need braces either way if she's inherited my family's teeth (no idea if paci contributes to that...), and I really don't want her to start sucking her thumb because that's a much harder habit to break. I say, make a rule about only in bed & let him have it there.

[rachelh]

Hey there! So i literally just did this with DD. We are at the point where she will ask for it once or twice a day and I just change the topic or get her busy with something. We started with her not having it at all while in daycare - even at nap time. Her "teacher" also was on board with us and would tell her that shes a big girl and the pacifier is uchy. Now when she was home with us it was a different story - DH would give in a lot more than he should have or just to get her to stop whining I would give it to her.

Once though we decided it was finally time, we let her fall asleep with it and once she was sleeping I would take it away. After a few days of that I hid all of them and that was that. Like I said, she asks for it a little but shes dealing with it very well. She did actually find one in a pocket of the stroller over the weekend and she was thrilled. I did not want to take it from her because I knew shed have a fit so I just kept on telling her it was uchy and for the garbage. Honestly, she was just holding it for a good hour - I caught her putting it in her mouth but she as more just playing with it - not sucking it - and the second she spotted me looking at her she took it out.

I honestly think the best thing is to drop it down to only nap and night time and then get rid of it. But get rid of it completely! I found that when I have tried to get her off it previously when she would start whining or crying for it, I would just give it to her so she would be quiet and it was more of a thing that I needed for myself. If you dont have them, you dont have that option. Or at least keep them somewhere where DS will not see it and be reminded of it.

Ohhh, also, have you tried the pacifier party? A few friends have told me they invited a friend of their child's over and had a pacifier party where they threw all the pacifiers in the garbage and it worked.

Good luck! Be stong!