Gym class "cliques"

[LarsMal]

I am so sick of mommy cliques!!!! I take the kids to the pool and it's ridiculous. Pretty mommies huddled in one corner, more pretty mommies huddled in another corner. Today I took DS and DD to their first class at TLG (DDs first class ever, DS hasn't been in a year) and I was clearly odd mommy out!

Seriously, how old are we? It's a small class and three of the moms clearly know each other. They stood huddled in their corner most of the time, but I actually caught one of them staring me down MORE than once! I was getting really irritated. I wanted to just start shouting, "No, their not twins. Yes, they can be in this class together. They're 16 months apart. No, I don't work out, I'm skinny b/c I chase two kids around all day and I have a stomach condition! I got this shirt at AT Loft." Those are the ones I could think of at the time!!!!

Why can't people just smile and say hi? Whatever, I am there so my kids can have some fun, not to make new friends (although it would be nice!)

Grrrr....

[bethie_73]

What a pain, I know at my mommy group (different I know) we try to include others, although I'm shy so I find it hard to talk to new people. But obviously that wasn't the case... hope it gets better.

[LarsMal]

What a pain, I know at my mommy group (different I know) we try to include others, although I'm shy so I find it hard to talk to new people. But obviously that wasn't the case... hope it gets better.

I'm kind of shy, too, but these woman are totally not approachable. You can just tell they think they're hot sh*t! All tanned and toned, completely put together. I'm lucky I got showered and dressed before we had to leave!

I wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway, but it's still annoying to be around cliques like that.

[KBecks]

It's tough, I've met some wonderful people who are very open and friendly, but they are just... extroverts. I'm so not an extovert and it sometimes takes a lot for me to have a conversation, especially when I'm watching kids.... you know, I'm not the best talker to begin with!

Some pretty moms I've met have been very friendly. If you can catch a mom one-on-one, it may be much easier to chat. I'm terrible in groups and too intimidated to break into group conversation.

If you have other mommy friends, recruit them to your classes so you have a buddy. :)

ETA: I've gone through 9 months of toddler classes without having much conversation with other parents, I think they are all nice but I'm just not great at striking up conversations. I recruited a friend to class and she's so at ease socially she knows everyone... I really admire her and would like to try to be more like that.

[Ceepa]

I always get "the eye" because I'm playing with my kids rather than just sitting around obliviously gabbing while DC yell repeatedly, "Mom, watch me. Mom, watch what I can do. Mom. Mom. Mom........." like the other kids at the playground, playgroup, etc.

Yeah, I actually go down the slide and DC love it. *GASP*

Mom cliques are so stupid.

[SAHMIL]

Mom cliques are so stupid.


AMEN!!!

You know, I should give a playgroup update shouldn't I!

[citymama]

I always get "the eye" because I'm playing with my kids rather than just sitting around obliviously gabbing while DC yell repeatedly, "Mom, watch me. Mom, watch what I can do. Mom. Mom. Mom........." like the other kids at the playground, playgroup, etc.

Yeah, I actually go down the slide and DC love it. *GASP*

Mom cliques are so stupid.
Ditto. I'm frequently the only mom/parent actually playing with their kid rather than gabbing around the sandbox at the playground. My DD won't sit still for a minute and hates me chatting with other parents, in any case. I have no patience for it either.

I couldn't stand cliques in junior high and I can't stand mommy cliques now! My DD is so much more fun to hang out with, in any case! :)

ETA I do have several great mom (and dad) friends I run into at the playground, several of whom are attractive but no hang-ups, thank you! ;)

[LarsMal]

ETA I do have several great mom (and dad) friends I run into at the playground, several of whom are attractive but no hang-ups, thank you!

I wasn't saying anything against "pretty people"!!! How could I, when I'm one of the hottest mamas out there?! tee heee!!! (Just kidding, although I did get hit on in a restaurant parking lot a couple weeks ago...talk about a big ego booster!!!)

I like to think I can hold my own against those women, and I also have attractive friends with no hang-ups...it's the ones who *think* their "sh*t don't stink" (as my mom would say) that bug me. It was seriously like, "Who's the new girl who thinks she can come into *our* gym class?" At least that's how I felt.

Who knows, maybe my shyness makes me seem stand-offish and they were saying that I was the snobby one!!! Wouldn't that be funny!

But, yeah, I was more interested in helping DS and DD do forward rolls and walk on the balance beam than gossiping in the corner.

[citymama]

I wasn't saying anything against "pretty people"!!! How could I, when I'm one of the hottest mamas out there?! tee heee!!!

I hear you, sister! I was trying to defend us "pretty people" just in case! ;)

[elektra]

I think women can just be so lame sometimes. Men just do not have these issues in general. It wasn't fun in junior high and it isn't now either.
I had a similar experience at the playground this week. I had a day off of work and so I took DD to the park for the very first time on a workday.
The whole scene with the nannies and the moms was very interesting/weird. I was sort of blown off after what I thought was a very friendly, "hi ladies" from me to a group of moms that looked like regulars. A got a "hi" back and then a head turn. Whatevs.

[SAHMIL]

I think women can just be so lame sometimes. Men just do not have these issues in general. It wasn't fun in junior high and it isn't now either.
I had a similar experience at the playground this week. I had a day off of work and so I took DD to the park for the very first time on a workday.
The whole scene with the nannies and the moms was very interesting/weird. I was sort of blown off after what I thought was a very friendly, "hi ladies" from me to a group of moms that looked like regulars. A got a "hi" back and then a head turn. Whatevs.


the appropriate response is "Oh, I'm so sorry to interrupt your conversation, but silly me, I thought it was polite to say hi to someone and expect them to do the same in return." ;-)

[niccig]

I hate cliques too. But it's amazing what saying hello and asking about others kids can do. DS moved into the group swimming class from mommy and me class, and I didn't know any of the other mothers. We all have to sit in the same area watching through the window. Two mothers immediately asked my name and about DS and included me in the conversation. I was surprised at how friendly they were. Their kids moved into other classes, but some of the newer mums are just as chatty. We even got invited to a pool party today. There is one mother that always has something to do, either reading or writing something, we don't include her as she seems to be busy. Maybe I should say hi and ask about her son.

[egoldber]

There is one mother that always has something to do, either reading or writing something, we don't include her as she seems to be busy.

LOL! This would be me. ;) I am totally an introvert and find it hard to converse with people I don't know. But ask me a few questions and I totally open up. I tend to bring things to do or read so that I don't look lame. :p

But seriously, I have tried hard as an adult to overcome this, but sometimes I have to decide if its worth the emotional energy because it is HARD for me. Seriously painful to reach out in that way and if my emotional resouces are low that day I may not even try. I do try very hard not to show DD how hard this is for me because she is very extroverted by nature (just like DH). Neither of them ever met a stranger.


Who knows, maybe my shyness makes me seem stand-offish and they were saying that I was the snobby one!!! Wouldn't that be funny!

Well not so funny really. In school I was often labeled "stuck up" because I found it painfully shy to talk to people. My parents were no help at all to me in helping me to learn how to overcome my social anxieties and I had to work on it myself as an adult.