How to entertain DD while RF?

[jent]

So, after joining these boards, you all have convinced me to hold off turning DD forward as long as possible (and as she's petite, that will probably be a long time). BUT on our last few car trips, she gets very grouchy after a while (and yes, we try to drive during naptimes but she doesn't always nap the whole way). No toy seems to help-- everything that I thought would be entertaining lasts about 15 seconds before it is thrown down.

So please, any ideas before I turn the carseat around to see if that helps?

(She will be 14 mo tomorrow).

[mmsmom]

I would love to hear suggestions too! DS is 19 mos and I want to get to at least 24 mos RF if not longer but he hates it! Music sometimes works for us... also the pocket/travel size magnadoodle has been a hit lately. I would love to find a portable DVD that would work for RF.

[Clarity]

My dd is still rear-facing at 24months. For long trips one of us, typically me, sits in the back seat with her. I'll sit in the front while she's napping, but otherwise, I'm back there to keep her entertained and happy while we travel. I can't imagine not sitting back there with her a bit for long trips even when she starts forward facing...she's just too young to expect her to keep herself entertained for that long.
We do have several CD's that she enjoys, she has some Schleich animals and a magnadoodle in the back for her entertainment as well. Occassionally, I'll pack her purse with interesting goodies from my "things" - makeup brush, small empty box with some cheerios or some such things.
My dd at 24months doesn't even KNOW that she could forward face, she knows that we do, obviously, but has no idea that her seat could be turned around so that she could. The only thing that gives me pause is that the design of our car means that she gets far more sun in her eyes rear-facing than she would forward-facing, but sunglasses fixed that problem.

[KrisM]

How long do you drive between stops? On our car trips, we try to stop every 2-3 hours to let the kids run around.

When it was just DS, I would get in the back with him for short periods, too, and that would help. I don't now because we have 3 seats in the back and no room for me :).

Magna doodle was a big hit about that age. Snacks in snack trap? New books to look at. No other great ideas, sorry!

[Joolsplus2]

Kids just don't love being strapped down when they are that early toddler age...their bodies are craving lots of large motor activity. So going FF isn't really the answer (but you weren't asking for that, I just wanted to help you feel better :) )
A DVD player that's *very* solidly strapped to the headrests where they can see it is fine, I think (maybe off to the side so there's no risk of the bouncing backward and head right into it in a rear impact, too). Snack Traps with cheerios are great, and an ever larger assortment of soft toys and books rotating out of the car is a good idea. Our car is full of Happy Meal toys... smallish, lightish, and I don't care if they get lost forever...

[mom2binsd]

I was just going to say...there's no guarantee that being forward is going to be any more entertaining...is there music she likes? DVD player is also helpful for long trips...I've been lucky my kids have always been content to look out the window....soft books, toys etc help too...I just encourage you to wait it out...she's still so young to turn forward!

[Tanya]

Ha ha ha! My husband keeps insisting that I'm going to have to wear headphones on our upcoming 8 hour (which I'm certain will probably end up being closer to 14 hours and have to be done in two days) trip. We just drove a 4 hour trip this weekend and it did take over an hour longer on the way there. We survived the return trip because she slept 3 out of the 4 hours. She only slept an hour on the way up and the last hour of the trip consisted of "Mommy! Mommy! OWIE! Mommy! UP! Mommy? Mommy? MOMMY! OUT! OWIE!" over and over and over and over and over again. The kid couldn't even make it the 6 minute ride to dropoff or pickup her sister from preschool.

My daughter is almost 22 months and RF in a perfectly beautiful Marathon. She immediately screams about the shoulder straps bothering her. I fix the straps and adjust her clothing underneath and she says it's better. Two minutes later, she has owies and boo boo's. Yesterday, for an hour long trip, I gave her a card with a picture of various cheeses on it. Seriously. She'd look at it, then start screaming again. I'd ask her if her sister (FF, 5 years old also in a Marathon and has never complained about being uncomfortable and she RF until she was about 27 months old) could see the cheese picture and she'd say "NO" and then go back to looking at the picture for awhile until she once again remembered her discomfort at being trapped in her carseat. We seriously did this routine for about 45 minutes. She was distracted because she certainly didn't want to give up something to her sister. It's one of those times when you actually take advantage of them not wanting to share.

I really do just think she hates being restrained. In my moments of extreme headaches from all her screaming, I often wonder if it would matter if I did turn her forward facing, but I really do doubt it would make much difference with her. She just wants out. Then I remind myself that RF is 5 times safer than FF and I need to really work on my *tuning out* skill.

My older daughter has always loved just going anywhere and she still does. She hates staying home. RF, she just watched the van's DVD in the mirror I had on her seat's headrest. My younger one really doesn't watch any tv, so trying to get her to watch it backwards in the mirror just doesn't seem to be working. It works the best if it's dark though and the light can attract her attention for awhile.

Hey, I'm just glad I'm not the only one suffering.

I will not be a prisoner in my own house. Please let her always sleep in the car.

[Piglet]

Not that you were asking, but my kids were more miserable FF because they were constantly dropping their toys. They would then scream to me to pick the toys up. It would go on and on with me telling them that I couldn't do it (while driving) and them expecting the toys to magically stay in their laps the way they did when they were RF. Something to remember - our RF kiddos don't have a clue whether they like bein FF until they try it. We assume, as adults, that they would be happier FF because *we* woudn't want to be RF. The kids are not even aware that it is an option so they can't really be upset abour RF. Turning them FF will have a temporary effect on their happiness because it is something novel, but beyond that, it isn't a huge improvement over RF in terms of entertainment.

Lots of snacks, stops, and kid music seems to help a lot for us. Also, make sure the conditions are good - the sun isn't beating in through the rear window was a big problem for DS1. We bought a sunshade for the rear window and he was much happier.

[jent]

Thanks for all the suggestions. To answer some questions, our longest trip so far has been a little less than 3 hrs. We did try taking a brief break one time, but she just seemed to hate going back into the seat so I don't think it really helped. We do use the snack trap which she sometimes eats from, sometimes just throws it like the rest of her toys.


I really do just think she hates being restrained. In my moments of extreme headaches from all her screaming, I often wonder if it would matter if I did turn her forward facing, but I really do doubt it would make much difference with her. She just wants out.

I think that that is it. You're right, she doesn't know that FF is an option, but I'm wondering if being in that reclined position RF is adding to that feeling of being tied down. I know, probably not.

Those of you who use DVD players RF, how does it work? We have a sedan (a Prius) and the backseat headrests are just little bumps on the seat, I think. I'll have to check it out up close, but I don't think I there's much to secure a DVD player to.

Any other specific toy suggestions? She is just learning to use a big Magnadoodle type thing, so maybe a portable one will work for the next car trip. My big idea this last trip was a wallet with stuff, whenever she finds mine she gets a big kick out of taking the cards out and trying to get it back in. But on the trip it lasted about 60 seconds.

Maybe sitting back there when she wakes is the way to go.

[KrisM]

I think that that is it. You're right, she doesn't know that FF is an option, but I'm wondering if being in that reclined position RF is adding to that feeling of being tied down. I know, probably not.



You don't have to have her very reclined. DD is 2 and is pretty upright RFing now. I have her a touch reclined just to make it easier to sleep, but she's up enough to easily see out the windows, etc. Maybe try reinstalling her more upright.

[Clarity]

Thanks for all the suggestions. To answer some questions, our longest trip so far has been a little less than 3 hrs. Maybe sitting back there when she wakes is the way to go.

Three hours is a pretty long time for a little one to sit strapped in, alone, in the backseat of the car. I'm sure they benefit from the company/stimulation and they need it more than our dh's do! But, I'll be honest with you...it's a lot of WORK to sit back there an entertain them!

As for toys. My dd was, oh, 20 months the last time we took a 5 1/2 hour trip and 22 months when we took a 3 hour trip. I packed a Mr. Potato head, a travel magnadoodle, I brought two different lift the flap books, stickers, plenty of snacks (important!), some schleich animals, and this: http://www.thekidstoystore.com/melissa---doug-latches-board.html. The latch board was probably the most popular. And, yeah, I sat back with her and rotated the toys as she got tired of them. We had "toy breaks" too which helped them last through the rotation a bit.

HTH