4yo still wearing pullups at night

[bubbaray]

Anyone with a 4yo girl who is still wearing pullups/diapers at night? DD#1 has been daytime PTd for a long time (2 yrs), but still wakes up soaked in the mornings. We recently started withholding water before bed (she used to drink a LOT of water after her bedtime story) and switched from diapers to pullups. I recently took her out and picked out a "treat" that she could have after the first time she wore underwear to bed and kept it dry. DH kinda thwarted that attempt and told her she wasn't ready. DD#1 was quite stressed/upset the few days before we were going to try the underwear -- kept asking if I would be mad if she peed, etc.

How long will this go on? Honestly, I think its just laziness on her part -- sometimes she pees in her pullup after she's in bed, but before she's asleep.

I'm so @#$^^ done with diapers and pullups. I seriously am considering PTg DD#2 in August (18.5m) b/c I'm just SICK of diapers. I figure once DD#2 is PTd, DD#1 will be more motivated. Sigh.

[egoldber]

Sarah wore pull-ups at night until just after her 4th birthday. My best friend's daughter (same age as Sarah) wore diapers at night (pull-ups wouldn't hold it!) until she was over 5. I didn't even consider putting Sarah in underwear at night until she could keep the pull-up dry. Honestly I preferred her sleeping in a pull-up to changing sheets!

[HIU8]

Ok, I assumed that there are children who wear pull ups/good nites to bed up to age 9 or so. Am I mistaken? DH keeps on me about how DS should train at night. He is 3.5 and completely trained during the day. I wet the bed until age 10 as I am a seriously deep sleeper. There are still times where I just barely make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night. That being said, I assumed it would be years of wearing something other than underwear to bed in our house for DS and DD.

[bubbaray]

Good grief, 10?! Ack. I will surely lose my sanity by then!

DH wants to wait until she's dry at night in the diaper/pullup. Which was my plan. But, honestly, I really DO think she just doesn't try to stay dry, even before she's asleep. Plus, she pees in them first thing in the morning after she wakes, so I'm trying to get her out of them asap after she wakes up.

[egoldber]

You know, now that I think about it, when I was having potty training conversations with our ped, he said they don't even start to worry about night time until kids are 7.

[elektra]

My niece is 9 and she still wears a pullup at night.

[bubbaray]

OK, so if the child is peeing in the pullup before they fall asleep and after they wake in the morning, do you just ride that out? I'm tempted to try her in underwear, wake her up before we go to bed, etc, just to try it -- or is that a hugely bad idea??? I have this feeling that the pullups are just a crutch at this point.

[sarahsthreads]

OK, so if the child is peeing in the pullup before they fall asleep and after they wake in the morning, do you just ride that out? I'm tempted to try her in underwear, wake her up before we go to bed, etc, just to try it -- or is that a hugely bad idea??? I have this feeling that the pullups are just a crutch at this point.

I have a friend who did that, and she feels like they can't go back to pull-ups or diapers, but her son is always sleep-deprived and cranky (because they wake him up twice at night to use the bathroom), and she still has to change his sheets at least three times a week. I'd much rather change a diaper every morning (and one at night if necessary) than deal with wet sheets so much.

And I can't imagine that wearing a plastic-coated diaper at night is something your DD looks forward to. DD would very strongly prefer to wear underwear to bed, but she just really, truly, honestly can't stay dry at night. I can check her before I go to bed and she's dry, and first thing in the morning she's soaked. I figure once she can keep that pull-up dry more often than not it will be time to think about underwear at night. I read somewhere that their bladders need to be physically ready to hold and concentrate the urine all night before they can actually stay dry, and for some kids that just takes a lot longer than for others.

Good luck! I do know how annoying it is when they pee (or sometimes in my DD's case poop) before they fall asleep just because they're wearing a diaper.

Sarah :)

[Ryemom]

My ds was in pull ups until just about 4. If she is doing it while awake, I'm wondering if it's a habit.

If it were me, I'd prepare her and tell her that in 2 more sleeps, she'll start wearing underwear to bed so she should practice going to the potty before at sleep and when she wakes up. Then put a little potty by her bed. Then I'd give it a few days to see how it goes and see if it's her using the pull up as a habit or if she really can't control it yet.

i remember with my DD, we'd take her to the potty just before we went to sleep at 11pm. She was half asleep on the toilet but never remembered it. Her bladder wasn't so full when she woke up....

[bubbaray]

My ds was in pull ups until just about 4. If she is doing it while awake, I'm wondering if it's a habit.

If it were me, I'd prepare her and tell her that in 2 more sleeps, she'll start wearing underwear to bed so she should practice going to the potty before at sleep and when she wakes up. Then put a little potty by her bed. Then I'd give it a few days to see how it goes and see if it's her using the pull up as a habit or if she really can't control it yet.

i remember with my DD, we'd take her to the potty just before we went to sleep at 11pm. She was half asleep on the toilet but never remembered it. Her bladder wasn't so full when she woke up....


That's actually what I did. Talked it up the week before, took her out, let her pick out a "prize" for keeping her underwear dry overnight.

I personally don't think its so much a habit as a control thing. She and I lock horns quite a bit and she knows I want her out of diapers. I'm thinking maybe I should just back off completely and once its *her* idea, she'll be into it. I'm not convinced its a physical thing, b/c she laughs when she pees in the pullup when awake.

[egoldber]

If you know its a battle, I would just back off. This is something you just can't win.

I would consider using a positive reward system though. Perhaps offering her a prize/toy if she keeps the pull-up dry for a week. If she's not able to do that, then I'd stop. But if she can do it, then up the ante to 2 weeks, or have smaller prizes for each week and then a larger one after a month, etc. The prize has to be something she really wants though.

[KrisM]

DS is just over 4 and still wears them. He is dry some mornings and soaked others. He's worn underwear before and has about the same success rate. He doesn't seem to mind and we'll figure it out eventually.

[Joolsplus2]

Sarah wore them till almost 7... I'm sure we fought about it somewhat, I know I broke down a couple times and got her cloth ones to save money... finally the summer before she turned 7 she decided she was done and I put her on a MEGA sized bathtowel in her bed just in case (easier to wash than sheets...), but she only had one or two accidents after that.

I heard you should set a goal... like a week of dry pants gets a big reward. Of course make her go potty right before bed (OMG, no one ever told me that...I mean, it seems like a nobrainer, but... duh...)

But don't worry till 7, that's what my ped said, too (has to do with production of some hormone or something? Vasopressin, I want to say...)

[Kidrepair]

My DD who will be 5 next month sounds just like your DD, she pts on a pullup while getting ready for bed and it is sometimes wet by the time I tuck her in, it's so frustrating, how can that feel good to pee on yourself when you know better, I mean while she's sleeping is different, shes unaware of what's she doing. She is never dry and always pees before bed. My nephew wore some kind of alarm with a sensor you place in their underwear, I guess it helped him to stay dry but he was like 7. I've also heard not to worry until about 6 or 7 but shes about to outgrow the biggest size pullups they make. Has anyone tried the new Pampers Under Jams? I'm thinking about trying their smallest size next.

[stefani]

As evident in the replies, it varies greatly from child to child. One friend's daughter was day potty-trained by 2 years old, but still wears pull-up at night at 6 years old. Another friend's son still wears pull-up at night at 5 years old. My own DS was out of pull-ups before he turned 3 years old, essentially done with potty training day and night around the same time.

You could try the reward system, but it seems to me it is just a matter of whether the child is ready or not and how deep of a sleeper he/she is and the bladder itself. DS almost never go to the bathroom at night, and he still sleeps in his crib (so we will know because he will call for us). Some children and adults I know always need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Good luck!

[melissaflorida]

My daughter is 4 and night time trained shortly after being day trained at 2.8 yo. She would still wake up wet if she had on a pull up. She knows when wearing panties that she needs to hold it. When she wore a pull up it was a thought that is was OK to pee. Once she started wearing panties at night like during the day they get it.

We don't take her potty during the night. She goes to bed at 6:30pm and is able to hold without a problem until 6:45am.

She get's a little drink of water when she brushes her teeth before bed.

~Melissa

[npace19147]

My DD is a little over four and wears pullups at night. We switched to the Huggies GoodNites diapers b/c the regular pullups weren't holding it. Some mornings she's dry and gets very excited, and a lot of mornings it's soaked.

I personally don't have a problem with DD in a pullup - I'd much rather have her in a diaper than have to change and wash sheets constantly. With the pullups DD changes herself, so it's no extra effort for me than if she were in underwear. It probably helps that she usually poops in the potty, ITA that I'm over cleaning up those messes!

[Tondi G]

My DD who will be 5 next month sounds just like your DD, she pts on a pullup while getting ready for bed and it is sometimes wet by the time I tuck her in, it's so frustrating, how can that feel good to pee on yourself when you know better, I mean while she's sleeping is different, shes unaware of what's she doing. She is never dry and always pees before bed. My nephew wore some kind of alarm with a sensor you place in their underwear, I guess it helped him to stay dry but he was like 7. I've also heard not to worry until about 6 or 7 but shes about to outgrow the biggest size pullups they make. Has anyone tried the new Pampers Under Jams? I'm thinking about trying their smallest size next.

Our friends daughter wets the bed.... she is 7.5. Her ped said he wasn't worried about it, that she is just a really hard sleeper and doesn't wake up! They just recently tried the UNDER JAMS and said they are GREAT!

Good luck

[KBecks]

Interesting question. Alek has been having dry pull ups sometimes (and I'm bad, I wonder if I should re-use them, but I don't!) Maybe even most of the time he's dry in the morning, especially as he's using "I have to go potty" as a stall technique at bedtime.

I'm not sure if we should try it without though. He wakes up wet from naps and I think he's not quite fast / awake enough to do a morning pee to stay dry.

[kijip]

Good grief, 10?! Ack. I will surely lose my sanity by then!



I think that is primarily for kids that are bedwetters. I wet the bed often as a young child, in my case due to a bladder issue that was later corrected by surgery. I wish my parents had spared me the embarrassment of the wet sheets with some sort of pull-up or good nights. If she is a very heavy sleeper, she may not be ready for awhile yet. She can't really be held responsible for sleeping very heavily. I have a friend with a 7 ear old who needs to wear something to bed for that reason.

[niccig]

Double Post.

[niccig]

I wouldn't push it now. This will be a battle you will lose. A friend pushed her son for potty training and he would stand on the bed and pee on it while laughing.

I would also hit DH on the head for telling her she's not ready - thanks DH.

I would try in a few months but for now I would start preparing her, and without telling her that is what you are doing. Change her routine so she can make it through the night. Over time cut out the water before bed-time, have her go potty before putting the pull-up on, and put the pull-up on just before she gets into bed. I would also buy two waterproof sheets that go over the fitted sheet. http://www.rightstart.com/global/store/product~item~5626~dept~bath+and+potty~cat~potty.ht ml
You can tell her it's just in case the pull-up leaks. I have two of these and love them, as long as the child is sleeping on the waterproof pad, you just change that and not the sheet. If she's used to sleeping on it now, she won't kick up a fuss when you really need it to work when she's only in underpants. I would also have her change her pull-up in the morning - it's just like underpants, so no reason she can't take it off. Finally, I would never say anything about wanting to be done with diapers. If she's anything like me as a child, she was take that a personal challenge to keep wearing them as long as possible.

[JTsMom]

I have mixed feelings on this. One day a few weeks ago, we forgot to put a Pull Up on DS before bed. He always wakes up soaked, but he stayed dry all night! I couldn't believe it. So on one hand, maybe it is a habit.

On the other hand.... according to my ped, a lot of kids just don't have the physical control to be able to hold it. I also know that bedwetting is a genetic thing, and DH wet the bed for many many years. His brother gave him a really hard time about it, and he always looks so sad when he talks about it. Knowing that 35+ years later, it still hurts, I'm really motivated not to put pressure on DS about nightime dryness.

I think that if you decide to try the no diaper route, I'd really downplay it, and just say, "Let's see what happens. Try to stay dry, but if you don't we'll clean it up, and I won't be mad." and then really stick to it, and turn back if it gets to be too much pressure for her. DS is really stubborn, and I knew if I had any agenda with his potty habbits, forget it- he'd be in diapers in college!