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View Full Version : At what age should they ______ ?



BillK
07-05-2008, 03:02 PM
Had a little issue at the mall today that got my wife and I wondering.

We took Zach (3 years, 5 months) and Ben (14 months) to the mall and things went ok - until we were eating at the food court. Zach was getting kinda cranky and said he had to go pee (he's potty trained and honestly has had very very few accidents).

Well I took him (and his stool - WHY does no public restroom have a really really low toilet for little guys like him?!?!) - I had him on his stool and was just pulling his pants down and he let loose - peeing all over me and himself (and his stool) - we got the tail end of the pee in the urinal - but he might as well have just pee'd his pants really (would have been less mess for all of us). Luckily we had extra clothes in the van and got him changed.

Anyway - this got both my wife and I wondering - at what point can we start to expect him to be able to do a few things on his own?

Such as pulling down his pants to pee and holding/aiming his penis? (right now I have to kind of direct it for him because he just doesn't seem to get it yet). Also - and this is probably our fault - he sits on his potty ring to pee at home (I sit too but out of respect for my wife who does the bathroom cleaning - I never understood why anyone would "want" to stand at home - it's just too sloppy) - so he's probably missing out on a lot of aiming practice because of that.

The same goes for getting himself dressed/undressed. He can try - but pretty much he gives up out of frustration - or my wife or I just do it for him out of impatience (yes - we both are impatient as heck which is probably part of our problem).

There are lots of other things I'd like to know about too - but I don't have time to post them all - so these are the 2 "biggies" at this point for me.

I know every kid is different and reaches milestones at different times - but I'd love to have some general guideline of when the "normal" time these things (and many others) begin to happen.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

KrisM
07-05-2008, 03:22 PM
DS has been doing his own pants and aiming since he potty trained at just over 2.5 years. We just taught him that as part of the whole thing. He rarely misses at home or while out.

We did have to invest in a bunch of pants that were pull-up, pull-down friendly. He's getting the hang of zippers slowly. We also went with boxer briefs because they were easier for him to not get all tangled.

BeachBum
07-05-2008, 03:35 PM
My guy is 2.75. He can go to the bathroom at home (except wiping, but we are encouraging him to at least try) totally by himself if he is wearing loose elastic waist pants. He definitely prefers to stand to pee. We talked it up as being very fun and encouraged it as soon as he could reach. He PT early and for quite some time had to sit or use a stool.

When in public, I usually help him aim b/c he often has to stand on my feet to be able to reach the potty. When in public it would really bother me if we got a few drops on his pants. At home he either doesn't have that problem or I don't notice.

We have recently perfected the "magic arm trick" for getting undressed. As for getting dressed, mine can't do it. We practice, but get gets very frustrated. He will try, but often gets tangled/stuck. My understaning is that is a skill that shoud be able to do (with loose clothing) by 4.

maestramommy
07-05-2008, 03:35 PM
I remember that even after my lil bro potty trained, there was a period where someone had to pull down his pants, and he would stand in front of the toliet. I don't ever remember it making a mess. I remember this clearly be because I was changing him and tolieting him a lot from infancy on (he's 7 years younger). So I always wonder why parents PT boys by having them sit instead of stand to pee.

Ceepa
07-05-2008, 03:42 PM
Sometimes DS will wait so long to go pee that by the time he approaches the toilet his body starts to relax and release and he'll end up leaking. Maybe Zach was just really, really ready to go.

As far as working with him to pee standing up, he probably is les inclined to learn if he knows Daddy doesn't do it that way. Not to say you should change your habits, but maybe give him some lessons and learning by example so he gets the idea about alternative ways to use the facilities. (I've also heard that summer is a good time to PT boys because they can practice outside against a tree. We haven't tried this ... I'm just adding that to the discussion ;) )

For dressing himself, I would start really easily. Like having him pick out his own loose-fitting pajamas at night and then maybe choosing whether he wants to do shirt or pants and Mom or Dad can do the other. During the day, put on his clothes part way and let him finish (pull the shirt over his head and let him work on sleeves or else put on pants past the feet and let him work on pulling them up.) And remember that it's easier for small children to learn to pull on clothes that are big on them.

JBaxter
07-05-2008, 04:44 PM
Nathan started out holding and aiming. He never sat to pee so I would always say aim it toward the potty hole and he did. He also didnt were undied for about 6 months after getting potty trained and he was pretty much in elastic waisted pants. To answer your question 2 1/2 he aimed it.

mamabelle
07-05-2008, 04:52 PM
Well, I have girls so I am not sure about the aiming aspect but my 2.3 yo can pull pants and undies up and down and climb on and off the toilet by herself and wipe herself for pee. My older dd was about 2.6 yo when she could do this stuff. As far as getting undressed 2 yo was the time for that here. At 4 yo my older daughter could get herself dressed just fne with a little help with complicated or tiny buttons. My 2 yo thinks she can get herself dressed but the end result is almost uniformly inside out and backwards! My older daughter is almost 5 yo and can clean herself up after #2 pretty well but usually prefers me to do it if she is home or is sometimes not super thorough and needs a little clean up after the fact. I think there is a big range on a lot of this stuff.

FWIW, I have a freind with a son and when he was not tall enough to pee standing up without a stool she would flip the seat up, have him stand on the rim (with her support) and pee that way. It might be worth a try.

cono0507
07-05-2008, 05:29 PM
My son is 3 yrs 3 months. He potty trained in March. In the past two months he can now get himself dressed, though often his underwear are backwards and he still has trouble getting his shirt on at times. In general, though, I can ask him to get dressed and he'll do a decent job.

He always sits to pee. He has tried standing but he just hasn't gotten comfortable with that yet. In public bathrooms, he sits - I pick him up and sit him on the potty and he's able to sit there, do the deed and hop off. At home we have this seat:
http://www.amazon.com/Trendykid-FS001-Family-Seat-Plastic-White/dp/B000Q7HL6S/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1215293298&sr=8-2
and he is self sufficient with the potty at home - goes by himself, pulls his pants up, washes his hands (though I tend to oversee this part to make sure they get washed well). I think this is a really great seat.

sadie427
07-05-2008, 05:59 PM
DS will be 5 in August. He started out just sitting to pee, but has been standing for about a year. He still doesn't aim great, but can get most of the pee in the toilet. If he has to go really bad, he has a harder time. We just held him up high enough above the toilet that he could get the pee in, till he was tall enough which was just recently.

He can usually dress himself now, but needs a quick check to make sure he remembered underwear and sometimes needs help w/ shirts because his head is really big. He has only been able to dress himself for about 6 mo, but could help us do it for longer than that.

lizajane
07-05-2008, 07:24 PM
both of my boys go alone without any help at all. they are 3 and 5. we had some emotional issues with wiping (5 year old) and we often ASK the 3 year old to let us help. they both dress themselves BUT they often have emotional issues getting dressed (i don't want to, i am too tired, i am busy, YOU do it, mommy...etc.) but they are both capable. dylan's clothes are OFTEN backwards. and he just mastered the shirt very recently. he was 3 in jan.

as for potty- they both aim very well. dylan is short, so he has to stand on tip toes to aim inside the bowl, which helps to have it go straight down. however, we have a friend whose parts point up and it took him a LONG time to be able to go by himself or the pee would literally go straight up into the air.

i think the key is to let them do things themselves every time you CAN. if you are rushing out to get somewhere important to you, then dress them and help with potty. but if you are just hangin' around home, encourage them to do things for themselves. a great idea is to say, "you get started and i will be right here to help." and try to verbalize what you are doing to help so that he will know what to do differently. like, "oops, this arm got stuck. try unbending your elbow and then putting your hand through the sleeve first."

ETA: instead of carrying a stool around, try letting him stand on your feet. that is what i do with dylan.

niccig
07-05-2008, 09:00 PM
DS is 3.6 months. He can take his own pants down and when stands he has good aim. But when we're out, he just can't reach, so he sits. Like the others I have DS wear pull down pants. I have to do the button/fly. He can dress himself and frequently changes throughout the day - more laundry for me. But a friend's son is 4 yo and he needs help with everything - he just got a younger brother, like Zach, so I wonder if needing help is a little regression to be more like the baby. I wouldn't get impatient, just go with him and he'll get it.

Oh, by the way, we had teh same pee accident at a friend's house. DS never has accidents, so I think he just left it too long to go.

o_mom
07-05-2008, 09:00 PM
At 4.75, DS1 still sits to pee everywhere (except on the rare occasion he wants to pee on a tree). He doesn't like standing and I really don't want to encourage something that will make more mess of my house :) DH doesn't sit, ever, so I'm not sure what the deal is.

DS2, 3 yrs 1 mo, wants to stand but has trouble with getting there in time. He has quite a few accidents where he is standing right in front of the toilet but can't get things off fast enough, even in elastic shorts and no underwear. When he sits he seems to have no problem getting there. I really can't figure out why it is different. Either way, when he does stand, he does OK with aim until the end when he can't figure out how to stop without dribbling and getting it all over the seat and his pants.

At home, both boys pretty much go on their own, we just do wiping. Both can dress themselves, except for socks, but DS1 didn't do that until he was almost 4, so at 3.5 I wouldn't be worried. DS1 also took much longer to get the hang of balancing on the seat without a ring.

mommy111
07-06-2008, 12:04 AM
Wow, we have a bunch of talented kids on this board :)!!! My DD at almost 4 can pull down her pants but not really dress herself. She has accidents....mostly she just forgets if she's busy and having fun, and then will pee in her pants. She's also regressed with the poop a little recently. She's a smart kid, and I think most of these issues just have to do with the new baby. I think that may be your problem too, Bill, Zach might just want to be babied a little more with Ben in the house. I definitely think that is the case with DD, and we're just giving her some more time and attention.

rlu
07-06-2008, 03:10 PM
DS is 4.25. He can pull his pants and boxers down, he stands if using a "big" potty and sits if using his potty. He doesn't wipe yet. He can pull up his boxers and often his pants, depending on how loose they are.

He can take off his shoes, sock, pants/pj bottoms, and boxers. He can take off long-sleeve shirts but not short-sleeve shirts. He can put on socks, boxers, pants (if loose enough) and pj bottoms. He gets lost in his shirts when trying to pull them over his head.

He can put on crocs and his sandals, but not his tennis shoes. He has extreme curvature to his feet though, and it's tough for us to get the shoes on him too.

mamicka
07-06-2008, 05:35 PM
DS2 was 3 in April. He doesn't use the potty at all. He's just not ready emotionally. However, he gets dressed completely on his own, with the exception of shoes. Sandals he can do, although not always the correct feet. He has also started changing his pullup all by himself, unless he has #2.

bubbaray
07-06-2008, 05:49 PM
I'm trying to remember when DD#1 started dressing herself. Reliably, I'd say around 2.5? Depends on the outfit -- some are harder than others, KWIM? But easy tops and pants/skirts/shorts, probably around 2.5. Definitely by 3.

Getting shoes on the right feet, not so much. She just d/n seem to care. Probably because I DO care. Little stinker.

No boys here, so I can't help you with the potty issue, but it does sound like he just had to go so badly he couldn't help himself re aiming.

FWIW, he's pretty new to the whole big brother idea. It might be that too. I know DD#1 is fighting me on the not wearing diapers/pullups at night and I think a big part of that is having a baby sister.

Good luck! Sounds like you handled it better than I would!

DrSally
07-06-2008, 11:35 PM
I'm not totally sure, but my nephew 3.5 yo pees standing up (on a stool) wo/ even holding it. Somehow he is able to aim that way.