Birth gift

[steven888]

Hi everyone, My wife is due on September 25th and, as I understand it from all members of my family, I'm supposed to get a small gift for my wife for when she delivers. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no objection to getting her a gift, but when did this "birth gift" idea go into effect? Has this always been the case? I mean, between baby furniture, and strollers, and car seats and everything else, how much am I supposed to spend on a gift?

I'm thinking, two bejamins ought to be enough, maybe three? What am I supposed to get her? Jewelry, clothing, gifts for mommy and baby? What? Really, I need some help. What have you ladies gotten, if anything, and if you received something that wasn't exactly appropriate, what would you have liked to get instead.

Looking forward to some creative suggestions, or at least something that won't get thrown back into my face. I bruise easily. LOL

[kedss]

hi-
nak
we don't do them, but some folks do. if you want to get her something, give her something you know she will appreciate.

[fortato]

I think it's another plot for the diamond people to make more money.... alot like Mother's Day being for the Greeting Card companies!

When I had Jack, our Anniversary was 2 weeks later, and my husband gave me an emerald and diamond ring- the Emerald is the birthstone for May. It is a simple ring, and I love it.

Something like that is always welcome.

And You are an awesome husband for even looking for suggestions.
Congratulations!

[bubbaray]

Some people call them "push presents". I didn't get one either time.

I would have liked a piece of jewelery, something like this:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11287402

[randomkid]

I've never heard of a birth gift and I didn't expect anything. The baby is the gift to both of us, IMO. However, DH gave me a very nice card with sincere thoughts written in it. Inside, he put a charm with DD's birthstone in it. I totally didn't expect it, so it was very meaningful to me. Do you think your wife is expecting a gift? If not, then anything thoughtful would be good. It doesn't have to be expensive.

[M&Mmom]

We don't exactly do push presents. Both my kids were born before Mother's Day (one in Feb and one in Apr) so I just got a really nice gift for the "1st" Mother's Day. For DD I got a very simple heart necklace that I LOVE. For DS I got a necklace with my birthstone and DS's birthstone which I also like.

You are very sweet for looking into this. I think it depends on what type of people you and your wife are if you get a gift or not. If you do, it should be something she can keep forever and shouldn't be so expensive that she will worry about it.

[WatchingThemGrow]

No gifts here, except for the promise to be a loving, devoted and helpful husband and father of our children. Being my best friend and doing everything he could do to make life smoother was WAY better for ME than any gift money could have bought.

I'm not a gift and card person, though. Is your wife? I'd much rather have service than stuff.

[elliput]

I agree with the others that something simple and sentimental is the way to go. A gift certificate for a spa day (massage, manicure/pedicure, facial) would probably be a nice treat if that is something she doesn't normally partake of.

[Ceepa]

A nice "push present" might be a small piece of jewelry either with your new baby's name on it for your wife to wear or else one with the baby's birthstone.

My DH bought this pendant from redenvelope.com after the birth of our first: He put my birthstone, his and the baby's. I really love it. Though I did have to take a break from wearing it for a while when the baby was still nursing and old enough to reach up and yank on it. LOL. But I still wear it even after the birth of our second baby.

http://images.redenvelope.com/is/image/production/MD7_177415_W?

He also bought a GC for a pedicure several weeks after the baby was born so I could something by myself just for me.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am not a fan of "push presents" so I wouldn't want or expect one. It sounds like they are the norm and to be expected in your circle though. I'd probably go with jewlery if you really think she will like and you want to get something like that. I probably would have liked flowers. More than anything? I got the best "gift" from dh and that was a great, supportive and helpful dh. He was the one who paid attention when we had sessions with the LC. He was the one that helped me work on positioning and encouraged me to stick with it. He took over all baby care except for nursing and let me sleep. I'd much rather have a supportive, informed, involved dad than some trinket. :)

Beth

[hollybloom24]

They are common in my area in Massachusetts - Aaron Basha baby shoe charm necklace (or copies) are extremely popular (and extremely expensive for the real thing!)

[randomkid]

More than anything? I got the best "gift" from dh and that was a great, supportive and helpful dh. He was the one who paid attention when we had sessions with the LC. He was the one that helped me work on positioning and encouraged me to stick with it. He took over all baby care except for nursing and let me sleep. I'd much rather have a supportive, informed, involved dad than some trinket. :)
Beth

:yeahthat:

[lizajane]

i was lucky enugh to get both a super supportive, attentive, loving DH and Dad and a gift. no, i didn't expect a gift. YES, i was thrilled. it is a very special way to remember DH's excitement over the baby that i carried for us. i remember the day schuyler was born everytime i look at his beautiful face. but when he is a father, himself, and has moved away from my home, i will wear the present i received from DH and know my baby is always close to me. call me corny. i don't care! i would much rather have my precious baby than a gift. but knowing DH went that extra mile to show me how much it meant to him that i altered my body for OUR child was truly touching.

that said... i got a pair of diamond earrings. i wear them a LOT and with great pride and often share that they are a special reminder of schuyler's arrival.

i think mother/child jewelry is lovely and a wonderful sentiment. but i also think that a journal of your feelings as the birth gets closer and closer would be an amazing gift. i did this for DH before we got married and gave him the journal the night before our wedding. another idea is a heartfelt card and a "prepared for baby" pack- info on lactation consultants, commonly asked questions about newborns, phone numbers for OB and ped, resources for help with anything from medicines (askdrsears.com is great!) to diaper rash, coupons for letting mommy sleep in or go out for girls' night, coupons for back rubs, foot rubs, watching chick flicks you know you won't like, etc. favorite snacks that are easy to grab, a new stainless steel water bottle for nursing-thirst (i don't know if she plans to breastfeed, but i recommend it! :) ) the list could go on!!!

i think you need to do what is in YOUR heart. my DH went for diamonds and it was very unexpected and very extravagent. i do NOT get "jewels" from DH for gifts! i knew that he would never compare the gift of our son to earrings, but that he wanted to commerate his arrival with something i could hold in my hand when he is far away. if "things" seem out of place to you, then promises would mean even more. there is nothing more special than knowing someone will go the extra mile for you and would open his heart to you.

oh yeah- and i got DH an album of photos of me while pregnant. i gave it to him for valentine's day (schuyler came in late march). i was nearly nude, so (clearly!) the album was for him in a very special and private way. i hired a photographer ( a friend) and assembled the album myself. so as far as cost goes, it might have been $200. but i know DH felt it was priceless.

[Melbel]

Baby gifts are pretty common here. However, what means the most is your thoughtfulness in selecting a gift, writing out a card, etc. You are here searching for ideas, so you are off to a good start toward a thoughtful sentiment. I have been blessed 3x now with beautiful, healthy babies and a caring, nurturing husband which of course is priceless. My DH also purchased gifts to commemorate the big events, which were not expected, but were certainly appreciated. For our 1st, DH purchased a pair of smaller, but beautiful diamond earrings. When I went back to work, I wore the earrings virtually every day because it was a reminder of my sweet baby boy at home. For our 2nd (born on your DW's due date September 25), DH actually upgraded the earrings, that I still wear virtually every day as a sweet reminder of DC (they match anything and I am too tired/busy to accessorize these days). For our third, DH purchased a beautiful bracelet with pearl accents, DD2's birthstone. While certainly not necessary, these are by far my favorite, most cherished pieces of jewelery, regardless of the monetary value.

[sarahsthreads]

I am not a fan of "push presents" so I wouldn't want or expect one. It sounds like they are the norm and to be expected in your circle though. I'd probably go with jewlery if you really think she will like and you want to get something like that. I probably would have liked flowers. More than anything? I got the best "gift" from dh and that was a great, supportive and helpful dh. He was the one who paid attention when we had sessions with the LC. He was the one that helped me work on positioning and encouraged me to stick with it. He took over all baby care except for nursing and let me sleep. I'd much rather have a supportive, informed, involved dad than some trinket. :)

Totally agreeing on this one. If you do want to get something tangible, for my first mother's day after DD was born, DH got me a cameo necklace of a mother and child (http://www.netaya.com/ovcamrinwfas.html), and I wear it nearly daily (and it gets comments from just about anyone who sees it). And certainly if he had gotten that around the birth it would have been just as appreciated. But the daily baby care help was the most precious gift ever...heck, the daily preschooler care help is *still* the most precious gift!

Sarah :)

[cvanbrunt]

I hadn't heard of this until I had been on this board for a year or so. This idea strikes me as another example of some created "holiday" to sell things we don't need. Is your wife expecting something? I agree with the PPs. The best gift in the world is to be an engaged father and husband. And some sleep.

[elephantmeg]

Totally agreeing on this one. If you do want to get something tangible, for my first mother's day after DD was born, DH got me a cameo necklace of a mother and child (http://www.netaya.com/ovcamrinwfas.html), and I wear it nearly daily (and it gets comments from just about anyone who sees it). And certainly if he had gotten that around the birth it would have been just as appreciated. But the daily baby care help was the most precious gift ever...heck, the daily preschooler care help is *still* the most precious gift!

Sarah :)

a co-worker of mine has a cameo like this that her boyfriend gave her when their son was born, it is awesome and she never takes it off.

[ATLFTM]

"Push presents" (aka "baby baubles") are common amongst my friends. Most of my friends have received a ring (nothing too extravagant) with the new baby's birthstone (such as those stackable rings with small stones - you can add a new ring to the set for additional children - I think Red Envelope might have them), but I know one who received a purse she had been coveting for awhile, and wouldn't buy for herself. Her hubby e-mailed me and another gf to ask specifically which one she wanted. My friend was very surprised and touched he went out of his way to find out. You could always ask one of your wife's close friends/family members if she's mentioned something particular like that.

[Tammy]

I think it's awesome that you're thinking about doing something special for your wife- but do it because it's something you want to do, not something others have suggested. I actually have not heard of this before. My dd was born a few days before my own birthday, and she was the best present I could have asked for. Just my dh helping at home and being supportive was awesome. That being said- dd was born on Halloween, and my dh got me a special ring for Christmas that had my birthstone and dd's in it- which I love for the sentimental value. Just me- but I would prefer something sentimental. Sounds like there are some good suggestions from others here. I love getting pedicures as well- sooo relaxing. But I wasn't ready to leave the baby for quite a while to get that either. Good luck- and congratulations!

[CiderLogan]

I didn't get one either time. I didn't expect it or miss it, but I also would not have objected to it! :) My ideas are a necklace with the baby's birthstone, or, a necklace with a blue stone for a boy or a pink stone for a girl....a friend did the latter, and I thought it was fun (but pretty subtle when she's wearing it).

[mom2chloe]

Never got a push present myself... even though my ex was clearly aware all my friends were getting them (we all use the SAME JEWELER!!! that HIS COUSIN recommended!) Most of my friends got diamond stud earrings...

Now here's one for you.. I never got a push present but when we got engaged... he somehow convinced me he should get something too... and I bought him a $1200 watch...

No wonder we're divorced! :ROTFLMAO:

[kransden]

Ask your wife what she would like/ expect. Jewelry was really the last thing on my mind, but my magpie sister got some really nice stuff. (My dh picks out things I don't like.) So it just depends. As for what you spend, again it depends. Will your wife crab at you that you only spent $$ when you should have spent $$$$? If you buy a cameo or a baby charm will she think it is cheap or burst into hormonal tears over your thoughtfulness? You know your wife. Good Luck!

[tweetykl]

I always asked for one and my dh would laugh that I was getting the baby as a present.

I just wanted a simple piece of jewelry that had to do with being a mom.

[steven888]

Thanks to everyone who took the time to give me some suggestions. Just a note, my wife would never expect me to get her a "push present", but I WANT to get her something. I am by no means only giving her a gift. I of course plan on being supportive and loving, and plan on doing anything possible to make her transition to motherhood a little easier. Isn't that the role of the husband/father anyway? But, I think one of the reasons I want to get her something small is really to commemorate the moment. I agree that nothing will be more memorable than the actual birth of our child. But I'm a little selfish also. I get a great feeling watching her open up gifts that are unexpected. It's kind of like running home after work to surprise her with dinner on the table before she gets home. By the way, I hate to cook! lol. It's the last thing she would expect, and she always has that look of...well...love...in her eyes! I love seeing that look, and I guess I'm selfish enough to want to see that look as often as possible.
I really like the idea of getting her a necklace with her, mine and our child's birthstones. This one in redenvelope is nice.

http://images.redenvelope.com/is/image/production/MD7_177415_W?

So here's a question. If my child is due on 9/25, do I get the September birthstone? What if the baby comes late, like into October?

[kijip]

So here's a question. If my child is due on 9/25, do I get the September birthstone? What if the baby comes late, like into October?

That is sweet- my husband and I give each other gifts for that same reason of seeing the delight in each other's eyes.

For birthstone jewelry, I'd order it when the baby is born. A due date is a several week window from 38-42 weeks, so an October birth date is possible. And I've always heard that first pregnancies on average go a little longer.

[Melanie]

jewelry! Maybe a pendant with the birth stone (though that close to the end of the month I'd pick it out ahead of time but not buy it until baby is born - or buy both and return one later).

I got a 'new dad' gift for Dh, a ring he'd always wanted. Apparently getting me a gift was outside his radar and in my PP state I was really sad about it. He rebounded with #2 though. LOL.

[deannanb]

a little more practical than jewlery, and more "our old one broke", but I got a new laptop just before I had the baby.

Our hospital has wi-fi so I was able to video chat with my parents before they could come down.

I say go for a simple piece of jewlery. (just by being on this board means you are going to be a good dad)

[jayali]

My husband gave me a charm bracelet with a boy on it. We later had it engraved with his name and birthdate. Usually for Mother's Day or sometimes for a milestone I get a charm to add to it.

I thought it was very sweet of my DH to get me something. While I know we would never forget the moment our son was born, I love looking at the charms at remembering each milestone, special event they celebrate.

I think your wife will be very touched by the sentiment.

Good Luck!

[lowrioh]

I don't expect a push present but my DH got me a pair of "Mother and Child" earings for Christmas after we found out we were expecting. He got them at the Smithsonian Store but they can be found other places as well.
http://www.raymondjewelers.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Shelf/ASP/Hierarchy/0102.html
http://www.daysjewelers.com/product/diamond_gemstone_gold_silver_earrings/family-+childrens+earrings/jerkt1306+mother+and+child+earrings+in+14kt+yellow +gold.do

The Mother and Child image is part of the Shona culture in Zimbabwe and Botswana. My DH is from South Africa and we lived there for 5 years so the earings had extra special meaning for us.
A lot of places also import the stone carvings.
http://www.importu.com/acsc-mbmc6.html

[Jen841]

I did not need any gifts, I just wanted some comfy jammies and robe to live in for a bit, and slippers.

I did later get a charm bracelet that they boys and DH are to add to when they want. I picture the 3 of them picking me up random charms. For my bday this year I got a Tiffany Apple charm (b/c we went to NYC) and it is beautiful! Could be a fun way to start life.

[jhrabosk]

That's really pretty and I'll bet she'll love it. I agree with Katie that you should wait and order once the baby is born.

I didn't expect any gift, but my DH surprised me, for the same reasons you're saying. He wanted something special to commemorate our daughter's birth. They don't seem to have the same one anymore, but he bought a locket from Red Envelope and had it engraved with our daughter's first initial (confuses everyone the first time they see it!). We had taken a picture of her snuggled up with me the day after her birth...we used photo editing software to turn it b&w and crop it to just her face. It's a gift that I will always treasure...and my daughter loves to look at "the baby."

[citymama]

I've never heard of this - hmm, guess I missed out! Actually, come to think of it, this sounds like a remnant from an earlier era.

Personally, I would much prefer a gift certificate for a couple of wonderful post-natal massages to a piece of jewelry! Something to pamper your wife during a time when she is working round-the-clock!

ETA: Just went back and read your second set of comments on why you want to do this and found it very touching - I think it's wonderful that you want to get her something special to commemorate the birth of your child! Now, if I can only find a way to show this email thread to my husband...;-)

[cvanbrunt]

Thanks to everyone who took the time to give me some suggestions. Just a note, my wife would never expect me to get her a "push present", but I WANT to get her something. I am by no means only giving her a gift. I of course plan on being supportive and loving, and plan on doing anything possible to make her transition to motherhood a little easier. Isn't that the role of the husband/father anyway? But, I think one of the reasons I want to get her something small is really to commemorate the moment. I agree that nothing will be more memorable than the actual birth of our child. But I'm a little selfish also. I get a great feeling watching her open up gifts that are unexpected. It's kind of like running home after work to surprise her with dinner on the table before she gets home. By the way, I hate to cook! lol. It's the last thing she would expect, and she always has that look of...well...love...in her eyes! I love seeing that look, and I guess I'm selfish enough to want to see that look as often as possible.


Your wife is a lucky woman. :)

[lizajane]

Thanks to everyone who took the time to give me some suggestions. Just a note, my wife would never expect me to get her a "push present", but I WANT to get her something. I am by no means only giving her a gift. I of course plan on being supportive and loving, and plan on doing anything possible to make her transition to motherhood a little easier. Isn't that the role of the husband/father anyway? But, I think one of the reasons I want to get her something small is really to commemorate the moment. I agree that nothing will be more memorable than the actual birth of our child. But I'm a little selfish also. I get a great feeling watching her open up gifts that are unexpected. It's kind of like running home after work to surprise her with dinner on the table before she gets home. By the way, I hate to cook! lol. It's the last thing she would expect, and she always has that look of...well...love...in her eyes! I love seeing that look, and I guess I'm selfish enough to want to see that look as often as possible.
I really like the idea of getting her a necklace with her, mine and our child's birthstones. This one in redenvelope is nice.

http://images.redenvelope.com/is/image/production/MD7_177415_W?

So here's a question. If my child is due on 9/25, do I get the September birthstone? What if the baby comes late, like into October?

i just want to wrap you up and bring you home with me! aren't you the cutest DH ever!!! ;) keep up the good work, daddy-o.

[DrSally]

It's a relatively new phenomenon. But, if you want to get her something, it should be something just for her and special and meaningful. For my bday, which was a few days before DS's birth, DH got me a pea in the pod necklace from Red Envelope. It's a tiny pea pod with a little pearl, to signify a baby. It wasn't technically a birth present, but I connect it with DS's birth since it was so close. He also got me a dozen roses after DS was born.

ETA: I just read your update. I'm glad you're doing it b/c you want to and not b/c it's expected. I like the idea of the necklace you picked out. I would wait, however, b/c first babies are often late. Red Envelope isn't the only place to buy this stuff (it's a bit overpriced IMO too). Maybe you could find a local place and have it all picked out, so you'd be able to get it shortly after the birth?

[Drag0nflygirl]

That's sort of along the lines I was thinking. Somwhere I heard that pearls are good gifts honoring a birth because they are the only gem with a mother (the oyster).