How to encourage DC to receive gifts graciously?

[CiderLogan]

How do you avoid having your child say things like "I already have that" when opening gifts? (Other than not opening gifts at the party, which I generally do - but it's unavoidable at family gatherings and small parties.) It's hard to encourage kids that age (who are so literal) that we should always say we like something, that it's not nice to say we already have something, etc. - I don't really want to flat-out encourage lying. But I also want to teach them how to not make comments like this. What are you moms and dads doing about this issue? I'll be reading for suggestions as we prepare for my DD's 5th b'day next month. :)

TIA!

edited to rephrase

[egoldber]

Well 5 may be slightly young to get it, but at 6, I have definitely had conversations with Sarah before opening gifts. I talk about how to be a good gift receiver. I actually role play with her ahead of time what to say to someone if she gets, for example, a duplicate of something she already has or something she doesn't like. I then coach her again, quietly and to the side, just before gift opening time. We usually do birthday gifts with just us, but at Hanukkah this is a bigger deal since more family are present.

I also coach her on what to say when she sees the gift giver again after opening a present.

[Wife_and_mommy]

We've already started discussing with DD how/when to be polite in those types of situations. Specifically, I'll kind of talk her through while she's opening a gift. "Look, dd, so/so brought you a gift. Isn't that thoughtful?"(dd: "yes, thank you, so/so), "wow, it's a __. wasn't it kind of so/so to bring you___. (dd: yes, I love it).

She pretty well has the dialogue down for gifts. One neighbor brings alot of hmd's over so we've practiced alot. ;)

I don't remember specifics but I have talked with her about inappropriate items she's been given. We emphasize the thoughtfulness behind the gesture/gift while also explaining that ___ isn't for our family for whatever reason.

It's definitely sinking in for my 4yo. The few times that *embarassing* things have come out of her have been w/ DH and myself. Once or twice I've just pulled her aside and talked with her quietly about why what she said isn't polite/appropriate.

Hth.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Well 5 may be slightly young to get it, but at 6, I have definitely had conversations with Sarah before opening gifts. I talk about how to be a good gift receiver. I actually role play with her ahead of time what to say to someone if she gets, for example, a duplicate of something she already has or something she doesn't like. I then coach her again, quietly and to the side, just before gift opening time. We usually do birthday gifts with just us, but at Hanukkah this is a bigger deal since more family are present.

I also coach her on what to say when she sees the gift giver again after opening a present.

We do this too. It was quite cute this year when ds opened a Lego set that he already has. He said, "Oh, the Lego XX set. I already have this one but thank you so much. I keep breaking my sets and I like to rebuild them [when he breaks his sets the pieces get all mixed up so he doesn't like to rebuild what he already has and is always asking for duplicate sets]." He also had the "tell them thank you mo matter what!" drilled in to him so he was saying thank you after he opened the cards and before he opened his gifts. I think he did a great job. You just need to lay out your expectations ahead of time. We have had success with this for a few years now.

Beth

[kransden]

I too do coaching and role playing. I told dd NOT to say she already had X, all she had to tell the gift giver was thank you. I have been trying to explain to her there are nice ways of saying things and mean ways of saying things. She did understand she needs to be nice to her friends, especially at her bday party. The important thing was that she wasn't lying. So it went well.

BTW, I also printed up thank you cards for her w/fill in the blanks.
"Dear_____, Thank you for the_______. I love it. I am glad you came to my party. Love, _____. So we got a writing lesson in too.