MORE QUESTIONS: Help, oh ye experienced mamas...

[Melaine]

So here's the story...
My twin girls are almost 21 months old. They are....well, super sensitive, and kind of extreme in their personalities. They are somewhat unpredictable and moody. At first I thought they might have some kind of sensory disorders, but lately I think that they are just very sensitive by nature and seem to be able to work through it better as they get older.
I didn't want to push potty training, but at the same time I was getting the vibe that they were ready. They come to me immediately when their diapers are dirty and often when they are wet, and I'd been showing them how I go potty.
I read the Potty Training in Less Than A Day (or whatever it is called) because my dad trained me that way in only 3 hours which I thought sounded great. I had my sister come in town to help me on Tuesday and had all the props ready.
It was a disaster....
The girls were pretty intrigued by the dolls that pottied...and I think they understood must of it. However, I couldn't bribe them to sit on the pottys for more than a few seconds. DD1 jumped up and almost immediately peed in her training pants. She was shocked and terrified (actually they both were). I'd been following the book exactly but I wasn't about to say "NO" loudly and scold them since they were already in tears.
We calmed them down and sat them on the potties again. Even bribing them with an almost constant flow of cookies, I couldn't get them to stay long enough. Pretty quickly, they popped up and DD2 peed in her training pants (she is the more sensitive of the two). She had a total meltdown, ran to the door of the kitchen and acted terrified. We then offered them all the treats we had but they would have none of it.
SOooo...my decision at that point was to pack all the supplies up and pretend like it never happened. We went back to diapers and went off to watch a movie to distract them from their "traumatic" experience. I'd love any and all advice because these are my first two and since they had to come at once *lol* we are even more overwhelmed about this!
I guess my question is, should I try this method again soon, or put it off for a month or two, or try some other method, or what? Thanks for your wisdom!

MORE QUESTIONS:
Sorry if I am not following the right etiquette in updating my post. Thanks for all your responses, and I hope maybe you can help me a little more.
So, it's been a week or so since the original failed potty training experience. Since then, I have been adding a lot of dialogue to our conversation about potty training, bought the girls little pottys that are comfier for the bathroom, and I take them in with me whenever I go myself. I am taking the "no pressure" route for now, but this is really weird:
The girls all of the sudden seem 100% aware every time they pee and it gets them very upset! Not only that but they leak now nearly everytime. I've watched them, and it's like they know they are about to pee and they are scared about it (presumably from the big "potty day" experience) so they spread their legs out kind of weird and wet their diapers. They start whining and it often seems to leak out because of this weird position that they are standing in....so now they have me change them the moment they are dirty or wet and they seem upset...what is this all about????

[Clarity]

My dd pt'd early, but based upon what you've said, I would absolutely wait awhile longer before working with your girls. Don't push them to sit on the potty or they may get more fearful and stubborn about the entire idea.
Now, I might keep the potty in the bathroon and talk about what it's for but don't put them on the potty until they really want to be sitting on the potty.
We pt'd by doing naked time. (I think pt'ing in 1 day is too much to expect from a 21 month old.) I started dd at about 18 1/2 months with naked time and reading about potties while she was sitting on her potty. But, it was not until she was 22 1/2 months that she was fully pt'd during the day - at 24 months she still wears a diaper at night.
I hope that helps a bit, give them opportunities but try not to pressure them.

[Joolsplus2]

We have potties in several rooms and have LOTS of naked time... and while we started last year, we are just now, at almost 30 months, about 50% there (which is MUCH younger than my other kids...). Just relax, take the diapers off when you're home (and have cleaning supplies handy, that'll make it a lot more relaxed), and talk about it till your tongue falls off (whatever seems natural...during diaper changes, when YOU go to the potty, watch some videos...), and it'll happen.

[HIU8]

DS potty trained at 3 yrs 4 months (took 4 days) and poop trained at 3.5 years. I know people say the girls train earlier, but honestly, there are 3 yr old girls in DS's preschool class that are not trained yet. I would do naked time at home and just see how it goes.

[Melaine]

Thanks guys...I think that I really need to chill out myself. I'm just really afraid to be in potty-land limbo...where you are going from diapers to naked, to training pants, to pull-ups...and no one really knows what is going on...so I was hoping avoid that. You know how they say...never go back to diapers?

[caheinz]

You might want to start offering the potty, but let them have the diapers. Have them sit on the potty at the times that they seem to usually go (a bit after breakfast seems to be a good time for most kids), and you can reward them if they go, but I wouldn't do anything if they don't.

They'll let you know when they're ready. From your description, it doesn't sound like they are just yet. And if you try again when they are ready, it will certainly go much more smoothly.

[Clarity]

I never used pull-ups...our daycare director and this board convinced me they weren't necessary and were just an additional expense. We let her be naked at home as much as we could, she wore diapers when she was at daycare and out and about. Eventually she was telling us she had to go even when she was in diapers and we made the switch to underpants.
Don't worry about rushing...sometimes I certainly think it was easier when she was in diapers! She has to potty just about everywhere we go. I bet with two toddlers pt'd, you'll be spending A LOT of time in public restrooms. LOL
Seriously though, don't worry about what people say, they'll pt before you know it!

[niccig]

I agree with taking it easy and waiting. DS was naked trained for months, but refused to wear underwear. So, we were PTed only at home and only when he didn't have a stitch of clothing on. One day, he woke up and wanted to wear underwear and that was it. He's still in diapers for bedtime, that one is going to take a while.

[BargainMomforLuke]

We just got DS potty-trained in about 2 weeks doing it commando style. He can now go out in public with his underpants on with no accidents. DS wears a Pull-up at night, but so far has been dry every morning this week.

My mom claimed to have also trained me in a couple hours, which I honestly think is probably her viewing that time in her life through her rose-colored glasses. I will give anyone a gold medal if they can tell me they have SUCCESSFULLY potty-trained a child in a few hours. I think it is impossible.

Give it time & I would definitely say go for nudity at home. If you have a couple of weeks where you don't have a lot going on, it makes it much easier. Don't get stressed when there's a little pee or poop on the carpet. It only happened a couple of times with us. I bought a steam cleaner a few months ago for $100 & cleaned my carpets as needed using an all-natural solution.

[kellij]

My son FINALLY completely trained at 3.5 (during the day). He started acting interested at about 21 months or so. He'd do better then regress. He was completely poop trained at about 35 months, it was like the poop grossed him out in his diaper, but he didn't really care about the pee and didn't want to be bothered with the potty. It finally just completely clicked a month or two ago and we literally never have an accident, never have to ask him if he wants to go, he 100% does it on his own.

DD, who is 26 months has been showing an interest, I think mainly because she wants to do everything he does. She will go on the potty if you ask her or set her down on it, but she doesn't know to tell me in advance all the time. I just ask her if she wants to go periodically and I don't push it if she says no. It seems to be working pretty well. From everything I've read, it happens when it happens and the more you push the more they can be traumatized by it and be less likely to work it out.

All that being said, I think you should definitely just let it lie with your girls and let them come to it again on their own. I think asking is a great route and just let them take the lead.

[KBecks]

I think it's too soon. They may show interest but they may not be totally ready. Pottying takes a lot of skills, feeling the sensation, then being able to hold it to get to the potty, feeling comfy on the potty, etc. etc.

A book I really liked is Toilet Learning by Allison Mack.

I read the average girl potty learns at 36 months, and boys a few months later. So personally, I would just wait until a few months before their 3rd birthday to give it a go. I also don't believe in rewards, etc. etc. they didn't work for us. Although I have a friend who trained her child by giving her ice cream, it's just not my personal style. Same with taking the kids to the potty and making them sit. I just don't want to make my kids sit. If they want to sit and they want to use the potty, they will, and I feel I can't "make" them, or if I try to force that, we will both be miserable. I'm too lazy to go through all that work.

Alek is now potty trained with no accidents but we're still working on him being able to dress himself after he's done. I don't remember exactly how long it took, but I waited until after his 3rd birthday and while the potty was available, we just didn't do that much except talk about toileting, encourage him, demonstrate, and reassure him that he would be successful.

I have heard of elimination communication toilet learning but I haven't read much about it. It seems that is a program for younger kids, but I'm happy with older toilet learning and comfortable with that.

HTH!

[KBecks]

Thanks guys...I think that I really need to chill out myself. I'm just really afraid to be in potty-land limbo...where you are going from diapers to naked, to training pants, to pull-ups...and no one really knows what is going on...so I was hoping avoid that. You know how they say...never go back to diapers?


That's what they say, but it's not reality. :) Maybe it works for some families but we had several false starts to PT. When I started to feel stressed about it we went back to pull ups, waited a few weeks and then tried again. We only ditched the pull ups for good when Alek had enough successes that I could say with total confidence.... he CAN do this, he has all the skills, he has a good track record, let's not use pull ups any more. But we had a good two or more months of learning and experimenting before we got to that.

I think it takes a while to learn anything, speaking, walking, etc. etc. Pottying is no different, it takes time and practice for kids to learn and develop their skills and feel comfortable with a new activity.