DS2 is always fussy/unhappy - Help!

[beansprout13]

I am at a loss with DS2 (7.5 weeks) - I haven't found anything that makes him happy and he just gets so fussy and miserable.

After he wakes up and eats (I am BFeeding), he is generally happy for about 1/2 hour - smiling, cooing, starting to laugh - just absolutely adorable. Then he starts to get tired and starts crying. At this point, I don't know what to do - he just cries and cries and nothing will soothe him - he just wants to go to sleep and nothing I have can help him. Let me list the arsenal of baby "accessories" that we have. We three swings: Fisher Price Baby Papasan Cradle Swing, Graco SweetPeace and a Boppy travel swing. We have no less than 3 bouncy seats: one that vibrates, one that doesn't, one with toys and something else that doesn't work. I have a Baby Bjorn, a Hotsling and another carrier that hold him facing into me (can't remember the name). We have a vibrating pack n' play and vibrating bassinet. Basically, we have everything under the sun and NOTHING makes DS2 happy. He is crying because he is tired and I am at a loss for being able to help him fall asleep. So he cries and cries and gets more and more tired until eventually something gets him to sleep. But, since he is so wound up going to sleep, he only sleeps for about 1/2 hour and then we start the process all over again. Getting him to sleep at night is a nightmare - we have to swing him and rock him in his car seat for an endless amount of time until he finally passes out. I just don't know what to do with him. The hour or so per day that he his happy and smiley is wonderful, but the rest of the day he is just so fussy and unhappy. He is on Zantac for reflux, but I'm pretty sure that this fussy/unhappy behavior doesn't have anything to do with the reflux because when he is well-rested he is happy and even content to lie flat on his back.

Is there something I haven't tried? Any suggestions?

I'm just waiting for the 12 week mark and desperately hoping that he grows out of this.

[egoldber]

I'm wondering why you don't think its related to reflux? Reflux is notorious for making kids poor sleepers. They get over tired and wound up and it hurts to sleep. When they do get to sleep, they get uncomfortable and can't sleep very long. I lived this with Amy for months. It was awful. :(

I would call your ped and ask for a stronger dose or something else. Zantac doesn't work for all reflux babes. It could also be related to your diet: dairy, tomatoes, citrus, etc.

[beansprout13]

I'm wondering why you don't think its related to reflux?

It is just that when he is well-rested, he is so happy and is content to lie on his back (something that he wouldn't do before the Zantac), he only gets fussy when he is trying to sleep.

My ped. did say that if I wanted to try Prevacid to give her a call and she would call in a script -- maybe I should try that. I just don't like the idea of medicating him.

[lmintzer]

My first was like that! It was awful--we were so exhausted. You have my sympathies!

You are probably right to key in on "tired". Does swaddling help? A tight swaddle and white noise (for us, it was the hairdryer) were the only thing that helped for him. Also, the 1/2 hour sleep cycle is hard to break with fussy babies. You may want to try to catch him just as he is waking up (you can probably set your clock by him, right?) and soothe him back to sleep. It may be easier to get him back to sleep the second time if you catch him before he's fully awake. If you cobble together a few of these shorter naps, you might start to break the cycle of exhaustion.

One other suggestion is a sling (instead of a front carrier) so that he can sleep lying down but still on you. Hope some of those ideas help.

[erosenst]

If you haven't, try to read The Happiest Baby on the Block - or google it and read the summary.

But I'd try swaddling (really tightly) and a LOUD (really loud...really really loud) white noise machine and see if that helps...maybe in combination with a swing and/or paci...

Good luck -

Emily
Abby 4.5

[kitmama]

My first son was just this way (except for the smiling part! LOL). It was simply awful. You have my sympathies, too!

The best news I can give you is that he did outgrow it and became a darling child. For now though, I recommend reading or watching "Happiest Baby on the Block". That and a sling helped more than anything else, though neither was a cure-all I'm afraid. Other good things were Hyland's homeopathic colic tablets and a good bedtime routine that included a bath, massage, swaddle, nursing and music or singing. (I was desperate!) Oh, and I really encouraged him to use a pacifier! To this day I think the massage helped his tummy feel better, though of course I can't know for sure.

Good luck! I hope he sleeps better soon.

[tnrnchick74]

Not much I can offer except hugs as I am right there with you! I'm going on 2 hours of sleep in 24 hours. Parker has cried for the last 6 hours. Nothing helps him. I sling him and keep him attached to me until my head is busting from his crying. I'm currently on my 3rd glass of wine tonight. I'm about to break out the twisty straw and just suck the entire bottle down!

Mylicon and grip water sometimes help my son...but not today.

[beansprout13]

Thanks to all for the words of encouragement. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel (somewhere), but it is just so hard to see when you are stuck in the middle of it!

I have tried swaddling DS2 and he hates it - only cries more. DS1 was fussy as well, but he loved to be held so I just held him (basically all day). At least this helped keep the crying to a minimum - as I remember it. (It is amazing how much of the first 3 months of DS1's life I have blocked out! I guess that is why I had another one!) DS2 doesn't like to be held that much and just keeps crying even when held. The only thing that seems to calm him down at all is white noise so I keep a white noise machine with me 24/7 (even in the car!) It is just frustrating to explain to my friends (who all, miraculously somehow, seem to have been blessed with wonderful children and don't seem to get that babies can be fussy) why I'm toting around this machine and constantly playing it in DS2's ear.

To those who have been through this, when did your DC outgrow this? I've got it in my head that 12 weeks / 3 months is some magical turning point, but I'm not sure if this is realistic or not.

[lisams]

One thought - reflux babies often eat small frequent meals because they learn quickly that it hurts to eat a complete meal (the full tummy pushes that acid up), and a little milk is enough to temporarily soothe the pain. So it's possible that he actually could be hungry even 30 minutes after nursing. Until we got DS on Prevacid he was nursing at least every hour. It was all I could do to keep him happy.

I also had to cut out most dairy, chocolate and citrus for DS to truly be comfortable. I started slowly adding those things back at 4 months and he did so much better.

I hope you figure something out - it's so stressful and heartbreaking when you can't keep them happy. Hang in there.

[deannanb]

To those who have been through this, when did your DC outgrow this? I've got it in my head that 12 weeks / 3 months is some magical turning point, but I'm not sure if this is realistic or not.

these are typically growth spurts at 3 weeks, 6, 9, 12, etc....

and like PP.... I think DS is hungry.
have you tried giving him a bottle (pumping or formula) after a BF session?

I've found that my DS is sooo much happier (or sleepier) after I have nursed him - and if he is in a super fussy moment, I give him the bottle of an ounce or 2 - and he is off to dreamland -

[Melbel]

DD2, who is 7 weeks old, has also been having some struggles with GERD and extreme fussiness, frequent feedings and 20-30 minute naps. As of Friday, we switched from Zantac/Axid to Prevacid and have (knock on wood) seen a big improvement. DD2 is MUCH happier, is on a better routine with feedings and is back to sleeping 1.5-2 hours between feedings. I agree with a PP that the short naps and fussiness sounds like the GERD is not being fully treated. When DD2 was comfort feeding more before Prevacid, her symptoms were worse, perhaps because she was over feeding to soothe the reflux.

PPI's such as Prevacid are consistently regarded as being more effective at treating GERD. Although it is technically only FDA approved for infants 1 and over, it is frequently prescribed for younger infants when Zantac does not work. There is a current race for FDA approval amongst the PPI manufacturers for the under 1 demographic (expected in 2009 or 2010). As another example of "off label" prescribing, DD2's doctors prescribed Axid (H2 blocker like Zantac) even though it is only FDA approved for ages 12 and up. Not surprisingly, the Axid was not helpful considering it works the same way as Zantac. I was unable to find any studies showing adverse outcomes with Prevacid after a fair amount of research. You may want to explore the research and forums at infantreflux.org. My post there was promptly responded to with a wealth of research, support and suggestions.

I would definitely talk to DS' pediatrician more about Prevacid. You state that you do not want to medicate DS, but you already are medicating with Zantac which IMHO may not be fully alleviating symptoms.

As for another gear suggestion, I would try a sling. DD2 is more content in the sling than anywhere else. Swaddling is also helpful (the SwaddleMe blankets with velcro keep her from escaping). Good luck! Hang in there!

ETA: I am also BF. I have eliminated dairy/soy, spicy foods, nuts/legumes, broccoli and shellfish as a precautionary measure. Once things are more settled, I will begin to reintroduce gradually. Colic symptoms tend to subside by 12 weeks; reflux issues tend to subside by 6-12 months from what I have read. DD1 was a colic baby (likely undiagnosed/untreated reflux issues) and she began to improve at about 9 weeks.

[megs4413]

my DD was just like this. we had to swing her to sleep in her car seat or in a carrier...turned out she was lactose intolerant (we had already diagnosed the reflux and put her on prevacid which helped to a certain degree, but she still had all this fussiness and trouble with sleeping). we switched formulas (i know you're bfing so that doesn't apply to you, but you would have to go on an elimination diet) and it was like flipping a switch on her. she was 8 weeks when we got it figured out...

and don't feel bad about being the "only" mom around who has a fussy newborn...BOTH of my kids were "high needs" newborns and I had a friend who would just laugh and laugh about it....then her 6th kid showed up after 5 "easy ones" and is just like my kids...now I'm the one laughing. LOL! :)

[brittone2]

Can you get networked w/ some fellow baby-wearers through LLL or MDC or a mommy meetup group? Or a babywearing group?

I know my kids each had their own preference for which type of sling they liked, and they changed which ones they liked the most as they grew and developed. I'm wondering if you could get together w/ some fellow baby wearers and try out some different slings or different positions. You might hit on something he likes, and you wouldn't have to fork out the $$ to try them all initially.

Even if it is reflux (which I agree w/ the PPs, it sounds like a possibility), being more upright in the sling may help comfort him. DS had trouble settling in for naps and would get really cranky. I used to pop him in the sling and walk on the elliptical trainer (obviously use caution ;) ) and that lulled him to sleep.

I'd keep attempting swaddling and give him a minute or two to see if it relaxes him. DS wasn't into swaddling but it helped DD a lot. Neither of my kids liked the swing and would only tolerate the bouncey seat for short periods of time.

Dr. Sears has a book on high-needs babies that might be helpful. You might also consider an elimination diet. My DS didn't tolerate dairy at all, and was much happier when I cut it out. I think I skipped it from the time he was a few months old (4 or 6 months?) until he was over a year. At that point I was able to reintroduce it without a problem. Interestingly, DH tested + for a dairy allergy not too long ago, so there really may have been something to that allergy/sensitivity that DS showed early on.

I hope you can find something that helps soon. DD went through a horrible period every evening w/ intense crying, but it did get better around 12ish weeks if I remember right.

:hug5:

[shoxie]

I second (or third or fourth) the Happiest Baby on the Block suggestion. My DD was horrible when it came to fussiness and sleeping. She's almost 2 1/2 now and still not a great sleeper although much, much better than she was.

In any case, we had to do ALL the 5 Ss at once to see a change - just doing 1 or 2 made absolutely NO difference.

So, we'd swaddle, lay her on her side, shush in her ear (pretty loudly), bounce her (swinging didn't do it for our DD), and let her suck (at first on a finger, then on a binky). She was also EBF.

We did this for several weeks. Our DD didn't magically become easy at 12 weeks (we kept hoping that that's what would happen) - I think things VERY, VERY gradually started getting better around that time. But we were kind of disappointed that it didn't happen more quickly. So, be prepared for slow progress, albeit you may have a different issue due to the GERD.

As for the swinging - we bounced DD on an exercise ball, tightly swaddled. She hated the swaddle for the first couple minutes, but then she'd calm down - like someone turned off a switch. And those 5 Ss literally saved us from insanity!

As for feeling like the only mom dealing with it, I too felt that way. Just know that you're not alone!! I think some moms that have children that are fussy at the start aren't as likely to bring them out all the time. I needed to for my own well-being, so I was always out. Catch-22 in that it was nice to be out, but then I'd see all these other "easy" babies! :)

Pls keep us updated as to what happens! Good luck and a :hug: to you! It WILL end and you'll get through it.

[miki]

DS was like that. It was really tough after DD was such a dream baby.

Back when he cried all day, I read here a suggestion to keep trying swaddling because the babies who fight it the most, need it the most. I tried a larger blanket and gave it more time along with the shushing and bouncing and pacifier like in the Happiest Baby on the Block and it totally worked!

The other thing we had to do was help DS block out as much stimulation as possible. So while I held him swaddled in my arms, I also draped a light blanket over my shoulder and his head. His head would be under the little tent of the blanket so he couldn't keep looking around. That also helped him to calm down.

The fussiness took a long time to die down. Probably closer to 4-5 months. He is still a really high needs baby. I feel you pain, mama.

[lorinick]

If you haven't, try to read The Happiest Baby on the Block - or google it and read the summary.

But I'd try swaddling (really tightly) and a LOUD (really loud...really really loud) white noise machine and see if that helps...maybe in combination with a swing and/or paci...

Good luck -

Emily
Abby 4.5
I agree with the bok, SWADDLE tightly,and loud shh shh sounds. The book is fab. My DS2 was this same way starting at 2wks and lasted till 10wks. and ended. He was on Zantac as well. He never slept during the day. He would sleep at night after being up all day. And crying non stop from 5-10pm. Boy that really did suck. Ben is 11 mts. now. And it's a distant memory. It will pass. I know it doesn't seem like it now. Get the Happiest Baby On The Block it really helped and I can't say enough about the swaddling. Even try the swaddle blanket. If your not the best at swaddling. We had all the toys and gadgets too. They didn't work for Ben. But the swaddling and shhing did. Good luck. This will end soon.

[almostmom]

You've gotten some great responses, and just want to add a couple of suggestions.

Do you have an exercise ball - those big ones that they have at gyms? My DD was such a fussy baby (my DS was an angel), and I spent weeks bouncing on a ball with her. She was actually most fussy right after she ate, so had some reflux issues most likely that Zantax helped a bit. But wrapping her up tight in a swaddle, bouncing with her on the ball, and sticking a pacifier in was how she lived her first few months. That's the other thing - do you use a pacifier. If not, get one! And if he won't take it at first, keep trying. It is such a soother when given at the right time - I can't imagine having a baby without one. My DD was wrapped and rocked to sleep for many months, for all of her naps and nighttime, and she is a great sleeper now at 2 1/2.

So sorry you are going through this - you will come out of it someday!

[erosenst]

I agree with the PP's - swaddle TIGHTLY and leave it on for a good five minutes, even if there's a lot of protesting. Same with the paci - keep tapping it back in for a good 5-10 minutes. It's amazing when they finally relax into it - and most will.

[Radosti]

We swaddle with the Miracle Blankets here, give Gripe Water when he gets fussy, and blast the Baby Tranquil Sounds machine from Brookstone (white noise). He also sleeps on an Incline positioner made out of memory foam.

[hellbennt]

www.infantreflux.org/forum has helped a lot of folks :D