What is the best way to prepare for natural childbirth?

[barabashova]

I am due in 6 weeks and for some reason it hit me this morning that labor is just around the corner and I am starting to majorly freak out!! I've heard so many horror stories about epidurals causing years of back pain, so I would like to avoid that if possible . . . But this is my first so I have no idea how painful the experience will be and if I will be able to tolerate it medication-free. :cry:

Am I too late to be investigating natural childbirth methods? Are there books I should be reading? Should I hire a doula? We're signed up for a childbirthing class--but it's not for another couple of weeks (it was the only one that fit with my DH's work schedule).

Please help!

[sarahsthreads]

The doula was only with us at the hospital for the last 90 minutes or so of my second delivery (it was fast and furious!), but she was worth her weight in gold. By then I had completely forgotten every coping technique I "learned" in class, and she talked me through breathing, kept getting cold washcloths to cool me down, and held my hand after while I got stitched up and DH was off taking DD2's first pictures.

I don't know what the best way to prepare is - though I did find the lamaze refresher class we took the second time around to be more valuable than the hospital class we took before the first - but if you do one thing only, get a doula!

Also, I had an epidural with my first towards the end - I would have wound up needing one or a spinal anyway as it ended in a c-section - and didn't have any horrible after-effects, so there's a non-horror epidural story for you. :)

But seriously, I so wish I had had my doula for my first as well. And if we ever have a third I'm going to call her before I even call my midwife!

Sarah

[lorinick]

My first birht was natural not by choice. It was horriable and I felt out of control. The pain was horriable, but fast. The only way I could even thinking about Natural birth would be in a tub with warm water. My second I was scared and afraid. But I couldn't have dreamed of a better birth my water broke and contrations started about an hour later. I was at the hosp. epi was in place and potcin was started around 10:30am baby came at 1:30pm. No contractions ever felt, pushing was also a breeze. It's birth is so different. Good luck to you and try to relax and enjoy the experience. Keep in mind things may not work out as you plan. But it's all worth it once you hold your baby for the first time.

[o_mom]

I swear by Hypnobirthing/Hypnobabies. I'm not sure if it is too late for you to really get into it at this point, though.

The best way to avoid an epidural is to stay home as long as possible and don't allow an induction or augmentation unless medically necessary (and being overdue is not a medical reason by itself).

[brittone2]

I used Hypnobirthing w/ both births, and it worked beautifully for me (several other moms here have used it and found it really helpful). You can do a home study program called Hypnobabies if you get started ASAP. It is a series of CDs that you would listen to and you wouldn't be forced to work around DH's schedule. You could still take a class together, but you could do Hypnobabies on your own. It is basically just really deep relaxation. No "funny" feeling or zombie like state :wink2: It just feels very relaxed.

If people tell you their horror stories, stop them in their tracks. You know there are potential issues w/ epidurals and childbirth in general. While I don't think it is good to not acknowledge that, dwelling on it doesn't put you in a good mindset. If someone starts dishing a horror story, excuse yourself, change the topic, whatever (that's a recommendation from Hypnobirthing).

Consider a doula, as a PP said. We had one for DS's birth and while I didn't need her for most of my labor (I was happiest moving as much as possible so I just kept walking, tailor sitting, sitting on the birthing ball, etc), she was great when I did need her. Look into the different positions you can use for labor (swaying/dancing holding onto your DH, sitting on a birth ball, tailor sitting, hands and knees, etc.). If you have to have electronic fetal monitoring as a matter of policy at the hospital where you plan to deliver, you might want to consider having them hook you up so you can be on hands and knees or other positions besides being trapped in bed (my discomfort was almost entirely when I was in bed vs. moving). Nurses will grumble, but it can be done (and if you have a doula, they can play "bad guy" and advocate for you). Or read Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and consider asking for intermittent doppler checks over EFM if you aren't vbacing, or particularly high risk (for a healthy, normal pregnancy EFM doesn't really improve outcomes but it does up the C/S rate).
THe book I mentioned really breaks down the research on particular topics. Many "procedures" that are matter of course in many hospitals can be safely declined. They may tell you you can't eat/drink, but in most cases, they can't really stop you, for example ;)

Birth is amazingly powerful. Do what you can to stack the odds in your favor, and then just focus on the fact that you are bringing a new life in the world.

[brittone2]

The best way to avoid an epidural is to stay home as long as possible and don't allow an induction or augmentation unless medically necessary (and being overdue is not a medical reason by itself).

Agreeing wholeheartedly.

[bubbaray]

I just wanted to chime in on the epidural stories you've heard. I had an epidural with DD#1 (24hrs labor, 2 hrs pushing, emergency c/s) and have had zero back problems as a result. I had a spinal with DD#2 (scheduled c/s) and again, have had zero problems.

I know many many MANY women who have had epidurals or spinals (in fact, virtually every mom I know) and don't know a single one who has had back problems.

[lorinick]

I just wanted to chime in on the epidural stories you've heard. I had an epidural with DD#1 (24hrs labor, 2 hrs pushing, emergency c/s) and have had zero back problems as a result. I had a spinal with DD#2 (scheduled c/s) and again, have had zero problems.

I know many many MANY women who have had epidurals or spinals (in fact, virtually every mom I know) and don't know a single one who has had back problems.
I too didn't have any back pain as a result of my epi.

[american_mama]

Something must pregnant women don't think about, especially their first time, is what is known about childbirth. It's one day in your life. You are unlikely to be in active labor for more than 24 hours because most hospital providers will do a C section if labor has gone on that long. So, don't think about the big unknown of how hard it might be or how long. Think of it as just one day in your life, and that might make it easier to visualize.

If you want a natural childbirth, I'd say read, read, read. The book "Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Natural Childbirth" is easy, fun, and inspirational. Skim it in a bookstore and I'll bet you'll walk out having bought it. She's a well-known midwife and gives you a lot of facts about childbirth as well as motivation.

The second thing to do is to think through your own thoughts about childbirth. For me, writing in my journal was helpful. I wrote about my reaction to things my friends and husband had said about natural childbirth, I listed my reasons why I wanted one, I wrote about things I was looking forward to about childbirth, I listed coping technqiues that I wanted to try. It get my very aware of my own emotions and rational thought about childbirth and was helpful.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Read as much as you can, set a personal goal, get your partner on board with your goal (why it is important to you and what you need from them), know the risks/ benefits of interventions so you know which ones can make birthing without pain meds harder (being induced, having your water broken on purpose, laying in bed...) and have a care provider that supports your plans too. hiring a doula makes a big difference too.

Without some reason beyond fear of the epidural I think many moms go withthe epidural because their fears of that actual thing fall to the wayside in the throes of labor- especially if they haven't done some of the above things. So, think hard about your reasons for wanting to go without pain meds and think about the cases where you will welcome pain meds.

Great books:
-The Birth Book by Dr. Sears (if you read only one read that)
-Creating your Birth Plan by Marsden Wagner so you can understand the risks and benefits of interventions or The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer for the same purpose
-have your partner read The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin and you read it too
-Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way (it is a bit too scare tacticy for the interventions so you might want to take it with a grain of salt but the Emotional Signposts of Labor are fantastic and you should at least read that part!)

I do know people that have had residual back pain for years after the epidurals. My mom had a spina headache. Things happen but you never know ahead of time what your experience will be like.

It is always a wise idea to plan for an unmedicated birth even if you ultimately want pain meds for a few reasons: you usually have to go through some labor w/o meds b/c you have to wait for a certain dilation or just simply b/c you need IV fluids and to wait for the anesthesiologist; you can never be sure how fast labor will progress and you may miss the window for an epidural; there is no guarantee for the perfect epidural...have a back up plan no matter what.

If you can find a prenatal yoga class I recommend that. I think that the relaxation exercises we practiced in mine really helped me have a good birth. It was calm and relaxed b/c I knew how to deep breath, relax all my muscles and stay in control.


Beth

[SnuggleBuggles]

Just wanted to second the Ina May Gaskin recommendation. The book "Spiritual Midwifery" has really good birth stories at the beginning.

I loved giving birth w/o pain meds. Hard but incredible. :)

Beth

[nov04]

we starting preparing lots earlier, but swear by hynobirthing (Mongan method) and our doula (an RN). dd2's birth would have been a "perfect" birth had our hospital nurse not opened her big mouth letting me know how many hours I had left of labour!!!!!

I think the most important part of a natural birth is having the right surroundings (whoever your support ppl and coping methods are) and feeling in control (for me it was hiring a doula after dd1's hideous labour)

A month maybe just be enough!

GL!!!!!

[barabashova]

Thank you ladies so much for your advice and support (and of course, for the happy stories to counteract the horror ones!!) :)


Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles
It is always a wise idea to plan for an unmedicated birth even if you ultimately want pain meds for a few reasons: you usually have to go through some labor w/o meds b/c you have to wait for a certain dilation or just simply b/c you need IV fluids and to wait for the anesthesiologist; you can never be sure how fast labor will progress and you may miss the window for an epidural; there is no guarantee for the perfect epidural...have a back up plan no matter what.

I completely agree! I know birth plans can easily go out the window, but I do want to give things my best shot . . . I've run several marathons, surely I can handle this, right? ;)


Originally Posted by brittone2
I used Hypnobirthing w/ both births, and it worked beautifully for me (several other moms here have used it and found it really helpful). You can do a home study program called Hypnobabies if you get started ASAP. It is a series of CDs that you would listen to and you wouldn't be forced to work around DH's schedule. You could still take a class together, but you could do Hypnobabies on your own. It is basically just really deep relaxation. No "funny" feeling or zombie like state It just feels very relaxed.

There seem to be a lot of hypnobirthing books/cd's on amazon...which do you recommend? It seems like Mongan has the best reviews....

As for doulas, they seem so expensive. Is $1000 normal, or is that just because I'll be delivering in New York City? Also, doulas who have assisted with less births seem less expensive . . . is it really worth the extra $500 to hire a doula who has assisted with more than 6 births?

[brittone2]

There seem to be a lot of hypnobirthing books/cd's on amazon...which do you recommend? It seems like Mongan has the best reviews....

As for doulas, they seem so expensive. Is $1000 normal, or is that just because I'll be delivering in New York City? Also, doulas who have assisted with less births seem less expensive . . . is it really worth the extra $500 to hire a doula who has assisted with more than 6 births?

For Hynobirthing, we did the Mongan version in a private class (with an instructor that taught out of her home). It was great, but I personally would not have gotten a lot of out of the book/cd without having the class as well. I'm not sure if the materials have changed since then (I took my class at the end of 03 and into 04).

Hypnobabies is geared toward being a self-study program. I've never done the full program...I purchased CDs for their program geared toward supplementing those women that had already done the Mongan version. So I can't speak to how well the full program teaches, but I know several people that did it as a full self-study program and they were *very* happy with it.

So I like Mongan, but I liked learning it with an instructor, in a class. For self-study, I'd lean toward Hypnobabies, unless the Mongan version has a better course for self-study now.

I think we paid 600ish for our very experienced doula, but again, that was back in 04 and we were in a suburb of Philly at the time (lower cost of living than NYC).

[SnuggleBuggles]

I only had to pay $375 for my doula but that was in NC 6y ago (I don't know how popular doulas were back then). You can aways search on DONA for a doula in training and get one for free. Some hospitals offer doula services as well so you might want to ask. A DONA trainee will have gone through the training, apprenticed some births and just needs 3 solo births to finish her training. So, she may be "green" but she probably will have some good tricks up her sleeve.

Beth

[Raidra]

I think the most important thing about natural childbirth is to listen to your body. If you can really pay attention to what your body is telling you to do, and do what it says, you can make your labor a lot easier.

I had two hospital births with epidurals and pitocin (and they were great experiences, no side effects, etc), but for my third baby I had a homebirth. It was so much fun, really fantastic. I almost feel like I don't deserve to say I went through natural childbirth because it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd heard. The key for me, though, was not being in the hospital. I could move around however I wanted, I was totally comfortable in my own home, etc.

If you're not high risk, I'd totally suggest refusing EFM and only doing intermittent Doppler monitoring. I never would have been able to make it if I'd had to be lying down - I needed to be up doing my 'labor dance'.

Definitely read read read. Henci Goer's book is good, as are Ina May Gaskin's. I really liked The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin - it was as helpful to me as it was to my husband. For the emotional side of things (fear, etc) try the book Birthing from Within. If you want to do a hypno class, I strongly recommend Hypnobabies. I didn't end up with a pain-free birth, and while right afterward I kind of resented all the effort I put into the practice, I can see now that Hypnobabies enabled me to have a much easier birth than I was anticipating.

[TinkerPlink]

I used Hypnobirthing w/ both births, and it worked beautifully for me (several other moms here have used it and found it really helpful). You can do a home study program called Hypnobabies if you get started ASAP. It is a series of CDs that you would listen to and you wouldn't be forced to work around DH's schedule. You could still take a class together, but you could do Hypnobabies on your own. It is basically just really deep relaxation. No "funny" feeling or zombie like state :wink2: It just feels very relaxed.

Wow, this sounds great, I wish I'd heard of it before today. I think that being due in less than 3 weeks, I would be really pushing too hard to order the CDs and learn how to effectively Hypnobirth. Maybe next time...

[SnuggleBuggles]

Wow, this sounds great, I wish I'd heard of it before today. I think that being due in less than 3 weeks, I would be really pushing too hard to order the CDs and learn how to effectively Hypnobirth. Maybe next time...

Can't hurt to try though, right? There are no do-overs in birth so if you can do things that can make a positive difference I say go for it. You'll have the memories of your birth forever. Also, baby could come late! There might be time. :)

OTOH, I feel like I had very similar results to what was described by hypnobirthing/babies and I had no training. I just worked on learning to effectively relax, stay quiet and breath deep. Take some time to learn about toning and progressive relaxation in this home stretch. In our yoga class we ended it with toning and I always felt really good afterwards and it was helpful in birth. We took a deep breath and released it while saying 3 maaaa's, 3 ahhhhh's and 3 ohhhhhh's. Simple but effective. (one breath = one sound, repeat each sound 3 times)



beth

[o_mom]

If you have three weeks to your due date, then you could have 4-5 weeks before the baby is born. It would be enough to get started and couldn't hurt. You can get the intro book at Borders or BN - I used the CD that came with that and then ordered one extra from them. That was plenty for me to have a nearly pain-free natural birth with DS3 (after a very painful natural birth with DS2). If I have another, I will probably spring for the Hypnobabies series, but the Hypnobirthing was enough for me the last time.

[AngelaS]

I just practiced relaxing. This is goofy, but seriously---view yourself as having no bones and just being limp and relaxed. Focus on that and it's amazing how fast the 'boneless' you can relax. :)

[LGMmomma]

The best way-- plan a homebirth!


But for a hospital birth I HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend the HypnoBabies homestudy course which is meant to be a 5 week course, but you could do it in less time. It is both a full childbirth preparation course covering hospital interventions, stages of labor, etc and a full hypnosis course. I've known several people to use the HypnoBabies course and they've all liked it.

DEFINATELY hire a doula if you're having a hospital birth.

I also second "The Thinking Woman's Guide" by Henci Goer and "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. Another awesome book is "Journey Into Motherhood" by Sheri Menelli which is a collection of 48 natural birth stories. It's a GREAT book to read in the final weeks to get you motivated and at the end of each birth story the mother tells what she did during her pregnancy to help prepare for her natural birth and gives her advice. "Creating Your Birth Plan" by Marsden Wagner is another great book to have on hand when coming up with your birth plan.

Learn all your choices and options and don't be afraid to say no-- no to induction, no to continuous monitoring, no breaking your water, no to staying in bed, no to having an IV. Learn about why you want to say no to these things (they all tend to make labor harder to cope with and lead to more interventions).

Last but not least, stay home as long as possible. Going to the hopital sooner doesn't mean you'll have your baby sooner. It just means you'll be put "on the clock" earlier and they'll be more time for them to try and pressure you with different interventions. Stay home and rest, walk, eat, take a shower, take a bath, etc. You'll know when it's time to go to the hospital and your doula can gauge how active into your labor you are as well. If you're still chatty and giddy, it's proably not time to go to the hospital. Usually for a natural birth, you don't want to go in until your contractions are 2-3 minutes apart and lasting at least 1 minute, for 1-2 hours (this includes labors that start with your water breaking as well).

Oh, and another good tip-- if you get to the hospital and you're less than 5cm-- go home or at least go outside and walk around for awhile so you can progress more before checking in.

It's not unusual for some first time moms to take 24+ hours to get to 5cm, but after that you're considered in active labor and things usually progress quicker. It's best to spend early labor at home in your own surroundings so you can do whatever you want.

Go over your birth plan with your provider as soon as possible and get them to sign it.

[mudder17]

I used Hypnobirthing w/ both births, and it worked beautifully for me (several other moms here have used it and found it really helpful). You can do a home study program called Hypnobabies if you get started ASAP. It is a series of CDs that you would listen to and you wouldn't be forced to work around DH's schedule. You could still take a class together, but you could do Hypnobabies on your own. It is basically just really deep relaxation. No "funny" feeling or zombie like state :wink2: It just feels very relaxed.

If people tell you their horror stories, stop them in their tracks. You know there are potential issues w/ epidurals and childbirth in general. While I don't think it is good to not acknowledge that, dwelling on it doesn't put you in a good mindset. If someone starts dishing a horror story, excuse yourself, change the topic, whatever (that's a recommendation from Hypnobirthing).

Consider a doula, as a PP said. We had one for DS's birth and while I didn't need her for most of my labor (I was happiest moving as much as possible so I just kept walking, tailor sitting, sitting on the birthing ball, etc), she was great when I did need her. Look into the different positions you can use for labor (swaying/dancing holding onto your DH, sitting on a birth ball, tailor sitting, hands and knees, etc.). If you have to have electronic fetal monitoring as a matter of policy at the hospital where you plan to deliver, you might want to consider having them hook you up so you can be on hands and knees or other positions besides being trapped in bed (my discomfort was almost entirely when I was in bed vs. moving). Nurses will grumble, but it can be done (and if you have a doula, they can play "bad guy" and advocate for you). Or read Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and consider asking for intermittent doppler checks over EFM if you aren't vbacing, or particularly high risk (for a healthy, normal pregnancy EFM doesn't really improve outcomes but it does up the C/S rate).
THe book I mentioned really breaks down the research on particular topics. Many "procedures" that are matter of course in many hospitals can be safely declined. They may tell you you can't eat/drink, but in most cases, they can't really stop you, for example ;)

Birth is amazingly powerful. Do what you can to stack the odds in your favor, and then just focus on the fact that you are bringing a new life in the world.
I agree with everything here. If you act quickly, it's not too late to do the hypnobabies. I also agree that my doula was so wonderful because in those "moments" it was helpful to have a voice reminding me of what my body knew. And I read a bunch of positive birth stories ahead of time, which also helped. Ina May's book has some wonderful birth stories in there. Not listening to any "horror stories" was also very helpful. I just kept listening to the hypnobabies affirmation tracks and it really helped in my second birth. You can do it!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I just practiced relaxing. This is goofy, but seriously---view yourself as having no bones and just being limp and relaxed. Focus on that and it's amazing how fast the 'boneless' you can relax. :)

I knew I had 2 things to say before and this reminds me of it. I just kept reminding myself to relax my face, especially my jaw. When I did that I was able to relax more of my body.

The toning (maa, ahh, ohh) force your face to relax so that is the value of them. It's harder to be tense and fighting the contraction if you are breathing those out, kwim?

Beth

[barabashova]

Thanks again ladies, for all your help!! I will definitely try to stay home as long as possible (and pray we don't get stuck in traffic in the Holland Tunnel on the way over!). I am headed to the bookstore now, and I'm also trying to order Hypnobabies, but their website seems to be down. :( I have a lot of homework for the next few weeks--thanks for all the suggestions!

I'm already getting butterflies in my stomach when I think about the birth, but I'm so excited to meet/cuddle the baby, I know it'll all be worth it! :)

[ccather]

I *swear* by my birth ball. Loved that thing! My best laboring position was sitting upright with legs splayed or one bent up and one dangling (half indian-style.) It helped me to, literally, be on top of the pain. Hand massage was also essential. My DH would rub my hand with massage cream, concentrating on rubbing his thumb on my palm and "milking" my fingers. Good stuff!

Labor pain in unlike any other pain you've experienced. It's not like a broken limb where the pain is sharp and intense and continuous. That kind of pain you can acclimate to and it dulls once you get used to it. Labor pains come and go so quickly that you don't get that chance to get used to it. You have to prepare and calm yourself every time, very quickly. It's important to try to keep your control as much as you can. If you lose it with one contraction and don't get it back in time for the next one, you can wind up on a slippery slope and wind up out of control.

It will take a strong and dedicated partner/support person. It's just as draining for them as labor will be for you (and they don't get all that cool adrenaline kick after the baby's born that you will!) They will need to stay positive and encouraging for you! (DH endured many a glare from our nurses with my first when he kept waving off the epi. I was too busy dealing with labor to keep answering the question. And if I did answer, it wasn't polite.)

I loved my unmedicated births! (all three of them!) I was ready to pick up kids and walk out of the hospital shortly after I gave birth. It was great! With my third, the nurses kept looking startled when I wandered down to their desk to ask questions ("Oh! Look at you! Up and around!" me, "uh, yeah. Am I not supposed to be?") I have pictures of my second that are 17 hours post birth that folks are dumbfounded to hear are at the hospital! (I was up and dressed in street clothes.)

Go for it! Think positive and prepare for it!

Chris.