What time does dh get home from work and how long does he commute?

[jyllebean]

Just curious. We will be moving next year and trying to decide where to live. The more desirable areas are 40-45 mins away from dh's job which means he wouldn't be home until 7 or later every day. The job is flexible so some friday's he may be able to leave earlier but the norm will be 7. I'm spoiled right now as he gets home between 5:30-6 and we eat dinner then. Just trying to decide if it's worth the commute or if we should live closer and give up on other things. Curious to see how you all do it!

[WatchingThemGrow]

Super spoiled here. Leaves at 7:30-25ish min commute, comes home AT 5 pm. Used to be later, but he takes a shorter lunch so he can spend more time with the family in the evenings.

[CAM7]

SAHM here! My Dh has a drive less than 10 miles...but with traffic, stop signs and plenty of stoplights it will take him about 20 minutes to get home. If the weather is bad anything goes as far as commute time... 45 minutes...hour?

If you live in an area that gets heavy snow you may not want a long commute time... coz that could triple if there is a bad winter storm.

I think I'd rather sacrific some extras and live closer ... plus with gas prices... I think it would get costly to be doing all that driving.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It all depends on his day since he has no set hours. The norm is the 6pm bus and he is home by 6:30. (30 minute commute by bus, about the same if he drove so he doesn't :)) During the school year last year he worked a bit harder to be home by 6 since ds1's bedtime was 8. In the summer it is 9 though.

Beth

[mamaoftwins]

DH is a physician doing his fellowship, so his hours vary widely depending on what his patient load and research requirements are. That being said, we live a 15min commute from the hospital, and I definitely wouldn't want to live any further than that for a few reasons. He sometimes gets paged and has to go in in the middle of the night, so a longer commute would obviously make it longer for him to get there. With gas being so expensive, I'd hate to spend more by living further away, and more time in the car is less time with us! *But*, that being said, if living further away put us in a much more desirable area, then I'd probably do it. Also, when DH starts making a decent salary, I probably will worry a little less about the money spent on gas. :)

[Laurel]

My DH is a teacher, so I'm super spoiled. He leaves around 7am and is almost always home by 4:30. His commute is about 3 miles.

I would never be able to make it to 7pm. Also, DH would barely see the kids before bedtime!

[kboyle]

dh works with his mom at their family commercial landscaping business. leaves at 5am and gets home around 6p on avg. sometimes earlier, many times later.

his commute is about 2 miles from the office, but most of the time he is commuting from a different city, then to the office, then home.

[kijip]

Why does this question only apply to SAHM? Commute times affect quality of life for all of us. My husband's commute to his pt job is 10ish by car, 25 minutes by bus and about 25 by bike. He is usually home within 30 minutes of getting off work. One day he gets off at 11PM, another 4:30 and another around 7. I work flex hours (including from home) and have a 5-10 commute (only 10 if there is traffic). We lived 30-60 minutes (in traffic) away from work for less than one year and it totally messed up our evenings, family time and general life satisfaction. I'd totally live in a less desirable area for a short commute, so long as it was safe. :) That's just my take on it, I understand some people have to do long commutes and long is relative. Another thing to consider is gas prices. I can't tell you the number of people I know who bought far out for more house for the same $$ as we spent in a not as nice area of the city who are now having a really hard time with the soaring cost of their commutes. Whereas if gas got so darn expensive we just could not afford it, J and I can each walk, bike or bus. Right now the main reason I take the car is that I put miles on it during the day for work (they pay for that). I can't run errands or do asks or have business lunches on the bus because my employer is not paying me to walk/bus it on the clock, IYKWIM! J busses it or rides his bike because he can AND his employer pays him to do so (cash+free bus pass+free taxi service if he gets stuck+free car sharing membership- kinda a sweet deal!) I am home in the afternoons (Fri and Sat) that J does work and I LOVE the home by 5 thing so much more than the 7:30 thing. For one dinner is possible for all at the same time (can't make a 5 year old wait till close to bedtime to eat and the day he gets home so close to bedtime, T is hard to get down to sleep because it feels like he has not seen daddy enough.

[ellies mom]

My husband works a compressed week so 3-4 12 hour shifts a week. He leaves for work around 5:30am and gets home about 6:45pm. We live 3 miles from his job so the actual driving time is only 5 minutes but unfortunately shift change takes a lot longer than it should. One nice thing about being so close is that he comes home for lunch.

[jyllebean]

You're right. It doesn't just apply to SAHM. I changed the question :)

[elliput]

DH's commute is currently 10-15 minutes depending on the route he takes. His return time is varied due to meetings and such, but sometimes he is able to leave around 3:30 and never later than 5pm.

We are lucky though to not live in a large metro area anymore, and desirable areas are really close to his work.

[caheinz]

DH's commute is about 90mins of public transportation each way. Mine is only 20ish by car (and I do both drop-offs and pick-ups). We bought the house based on my job, while DH was telecommuting (working from home).

He leaves before we get up in the morning so he can be home with us for dinner. It's not ideal, but it's the best combination of all considerations for us right now.

[s7714]

DH's commute is about 40 minutes. It's been cut down to even as low as 30 minutes since he started car pooling 99% of the time and can take the car pool lane, but that's assuming there's no accidents. He usually leaves at 8 am and gets home about 7 pm.

[niccig]

DH can be home anywhere between 7pm and 2am. His time with DS is in the morning as he leaves for work at 9am. He has to work a lot of overtime and we never know when that will be, so he worked with his bosses to have a later start time and later finish, so he's guaranteed the morning with DS. He's commute is 40 mins to 2 hours - dependent on traffic. We do live further from his work, because of the school districts. DS eats dinner and then we get on the web cam to say good night to Daddy on the nights when he'll be in later than DS's bedtime 7.30pm. We've started to eat breakfast together as a family rather than dinner. You find ways to make a later home time work when you don't have any other choice.

[kijip]

You're right. It doesn't just apply to SAHM. I changed the question :)

:) Thank you! I think there are a lot of WOHM on this board.

[Happy 2B mommy]

Don't know how helpful this is, but it might give you a variety of things to consider.

My DH started a new job last year and now drives about 70 miles to work. His job is pretty flexible; he leaves about 6:00 am and gets home about 5 or 5:30 at the latest. Usually hours are 8-5, but he works for a company that is willing to have him start early and leave early. For the most part he misses all the heavy rush hour traffic, so it's a quick 70 mile trip.

He also works from home at least 1 day a week- on average 2 days. DD and I actually see him more than when he worked closer, as odd as that sounds. DD loves her lunch dates with Daddy on the days he works at home. I also love being able to run errands while DD naps and DH has the monitor in his office.

Gas prices are high and will only increase. I have no idea if your DH's job will offer the same flexibility, but please look into it. (Dh had to ask about telecommuting, it wasn't offered initially).

Other things I would consider; how old are your kiddos and do you plan to have any more? From experience, a long commute/ inflexible schedule and a newborn are an awful combo. If you are planning on more, move as close to DH's work as possible.
Why is the area you're considering more desirable? Are there other advantages to living closer to DH's work that you might have overlooked?
Would moving in 5 years or so be possible? If you would move farther away, would the company be willing to allow your DH to telecommute?
How much of a toll will a long commute take on your DH? My DH arrives home exhasted most nights. Some people find a long drive relaxing, other find it stressful.

Good luck in your decision.

[salsah]

dh's commute is only about 20 min. but he gets home around 8 pm. we don't like it because we don't get to eat dinner together or spend any time together during the week.
obviously there are many factors involved in determining where you should live. if you have the choice, maximize the time your family has together.

[LD92599]

We both WOTH. We both leave around 8am and he's home by 5pm w/ DS (he gets DS from school) and i'm home by 5:20. I take DS to school and then have some time to run errands, either a quick grocery/Kohls/Target/bank run if need be. My commute is 20 minutes and his is 30.

I would NOT want to live further away.

[maestramommy]

You don't mention what time you kids go to bed, but that plays a role in what we do. Where we used to live Dh could walk to work in 10 minutes. Then his company moved, but it was still pretty close and he could bike to work in 12 minutes. He would get home around 6, play with the kids, then he or we'd put them to bed by 7, then we'd eat dinner together. The kids eat dinner at 5:30. He's always gone before the kids get up in the morning, so after work is his time with them.

When we moved across country, we checked out all the desirable areas, and settled on a town right next to the one where Dh works. We also lucked out and decided on a house on the outside edge closest to the work town. Of all the houses we looked at this house was the closest to Dh's work, about 6.5 miles. It's not the only reason we picked this, but it was one of the most compelling reasons. Dh has worked out a bike route that should work, although he hasn't tried it yet since we're still not moved in. But at the very least if he still has to drive it's super short. The pros of this house/town, schools are top notch. And that's about it. There are two other towns we looked at that have top schools as well, and one had public water and natural gas. Most of the other houses have private water and oil heat. Also, this house had the ugliest wallpaper and Dh and I are tag teaming stripping this stuff off so we can paint as much as possible before the movers come. And it's an older house overall so we know there will be work for us to do around the corner. But, between the schools and the commute, we just couldn't find a better location.

For you, I would say it depends on what are the "desirables" when settling on a location.

[LexyLou]

I'm spoiled right now because DH's commute is only 20 minutes and he's able to get home most days by 6:30 so he can see the girls and eat dinner with the older one. I say most because he does travel a lot and this week he'll be gone before the kids wake up every morning and home after they go to sleep.

He does have to work from home most evening after the girls are in bed but it's nice to have him here.

Once this rotation is up depending on where we move, his commute will go back up to 1 hr+ and he'll be working 60+ hours a week so I'll be a weekday widow again. SO sad.

Do whatever you can to shorten the commute time. I see you are in NYC. I'm in Bergen County which is where a lot of people who work in NYC live and commute from. I think the general commute time from here is about 45 m-1 hour.

[Clarity]

My dh and I live about 2 miles from work and it takes about 7 minutes to get there by car. We've talked about moving farther away, but I'm the 8-5er in the family and I LIKE being home by 5:10 each night not to mention the luxury of only filling the gas tank every 10 days.

Live closer and give up on other things. Your dh's presence, love and assistance are more "desirable" to your family than anything a neighborhood can offer!

[ThreeofUs]

We're really spoiled here. When we moved here, we drew a circle 2 miles out from DH's place of work (a university) and live on that 2 mile line. A long commute is 10 minutes (gasp!). We'd like to move to a better school district and lower taxes, but having him so near is a real plus.

DH leaves, oh, around 9ish and comes back around 4:30 or 5ish. (As he's a prof/researcher/lab chief/etc., he sets his own schedule.) And, to be fair to DH, he works sometimes until 2 or 3 am after DS has gone to sleep and does some of his many telecons - some of which start at 5 - at home.

[elizabethkott]

Wow... DH better not get a hold of this thread - he'll be really jealous!
His commute is currently an hour and a half in the morning, and about two hours in the afternoon because he takes two trains - one from LI into NYC and then one from NYC into NJ, and the evening trains don't time out so well.
He leaves around 7am and gets home at 7:45, unless he catches the earlier train and then he's home at 7:20.
We bought our house based on my teaching job - the poor man has always had this horrible commute. :(

[rebeccaravit]

DH's commute is about 30 minutes, more or less depending on traffic. However, he usually rushes out of the house in the morning so on occasion he might see the kids, but has little hands on time with them. Most nights he's home btwn 7-8, but lately its been almost 8:30. I eat dinner with him when he gets home. In the summer his company has summer hrs which means that on Fridays they can leave around 1pm, as long as they make up the time they missed during the week. He has NEVER been home before 5 on a Friday in the summer. Last Friday he was home after 8pm!

[boolady]

Well, we're struggling with this now in the context of BOTH of our commutes. Currently, DH leaves the house at 6:00 a.m. and gets home anywhere from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. He works long hours, unfortunately there is no overtime, because he's salaried. His commute is about 40 minutes each direction.

DD and I leave the house at 7:15-7:30 a.m., and get home around 5:30. That includes me taking her to daycare, driving 40 minutes to my job, working, driving 40 minutes back to get her, then 6 or 7 minutes home.

We are looking to move back closer to my parents, but while it will decrease my commute by about 15 minutes each and give me more time each day with DD, it will increase DH's commute by about 15 minutes each way. While there are many positives to me, and I think to us overall as a family by being closer to family, I feel bad that it's a longer commute for DH and likely less time with her in the evenings. Though, he works on Saturdays and takes a day off with her during the week, so they have that time together.

[lorinick]

dh leaves at 7am commutes 45-50 mintues. on a bad day around an hour. Usually home around 5:20-5:30. We usually eat around 6 or 6:30 sometimes later in the summer due to swimming a little more laid back. During the school we eat around 5:30.

[aa2mama]

DH's commute is 15 to 20 minutes. During the summer he bikes to work, and it really doesn't take a whole lot longer. Unless I found my dream house or the cost of living was a whole lot less, I don't think that I would want to live any farther from his work. Before we bought our house, we lived less than 5 minutes away and got so spoiled. He could come home for lunch or swing on over if I needed anything. It was awesome! At his last job his commute was 45 minutes to an hour. While it wasn't ideal, you do what you gotta do.

[mamicka]

DH leaves the house between 6 & 6:30, has about 25-30 minute commute, & is home by 4:45 most days. Within a couple years, his office will move close enough that he'll be able to come home for lunch.

[g-mama]

My dh's commute is anywhere from 40-75 minutes. We live 13 miles from his office but Wash, DC area traffic is awful and unpredictable. He tries to leave work around 6pm and gets home around 7. Oftentimes, though, he can't get out at 6 and makes it home closer to 8.

In order for him to leave at a normal time and see the kids, he then continues to work in our home office from about 10pm until 1 or 2am. Poor dh. :(

[almostmom]

It's a tough thing to balance. We live about 45 minutes from the city, and DH has about an hour and 15 minute commute each way to work with traffic. It sucks! He leaves around 7:30, and I leave with the kids for preschool around 7:45. I usually get home around 6 with the kids (they are picked up at 5, but we usually go to the playground after school with their school friends), and DH gets home around 6:30.

DH really feels like he is missing out. DS loves to play baseball, and do fly balls and grounders, etc. with DH, and there is rarely time for that during the week, let alone going for a hike in the evening, with baths, and dinner and everything. It would be great to be closer to his work, if I could be the same distance (15 minutes from my work).

Also, we love having a big yard and woods and conservation land around (though our house is quite small). If we moved closer to the city, we would have an even smaller house and a much smaller lot. So tricky! But if I was going to buy a house right now, I think I'd try to get us closer to his work. It would allow him to do more of the drop-off and pick-ups, and make it easier for him to go to teacher conferences, etc.

[KpbS]

My DH's commute is 3 minutes--he often comes home for lunch or emergencies if possible. The flip side owning your own business--you write your own paycheck to some extent--and there can be a lot of "overtime" sometimes. We anticipate a move in the future where his commute will be more like 20-25 min. and a real adjustment for DH--a small town guy.

I'd vote closer as long as the compromise wouldn't mean definite private school route for DC, compromises in safety for neighborhoods, etc.

GL with your decision

[hez]

DH works 5 minutes from home, and is usually home between 4 & 4:30 (goes in between 6:30 & 7). It wasn't always this way-- he used to work down where I work(ed - 'til mat leave), which is 25-30 minutes away.

In our case, our company has multiple locations around town. So we either needed to choose a central location or just pick the best location and accept the commute would be longer during the assignments that are located farther from home. We chose the latter, and then the company physically moved our business unit before we were ready for new assignments, anyway. Couldn't win.

[trales]

75 min by bus each way. We are currenlty looking into other options. It does not work at all.

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

DH's commute is about 20-25 minutes. We don't live in a super traffic area and he doesn't drive during peak rush hours anyway. He leaves for work around 9:30am and comes home anywhere from 7:30pm to 2:30am. (His core hours at 10am to 7pm but all of that goes out the window during crunch time.

For us, we started spending family time in the morning because he gets home at or after DD's bedtime and it is just too stressful to try to plan for him to get home and eat with us.

[scrooks]

My husbands schedule varies a bit but on average he isn't home until 6:30-7. Somedays later. His commute home is 15 minutes. The nice thing is he doesn't leave for work until after 9. I work 2 days a week (early- I am at work by 7). So those 2 days he is responsible for getting my DD up, dressed and to the sitter. The 7 o'clock thing does stink but I guess I am just used to it. He is consitering another job with a longer commute (30-35 minutes) but a way more consistent schedule (working until 5-5:30 ish everyday). While $$ is a factor the extra time he would be home everyday is even better.

[MelissaTC]

DH's job is about 12 miles away from our home. He takes DS to school in the morning so they leave the house around 7:35 am or so. DH has to drive 10-15 minutes in the opposite direction but it still gets him to work earlier than if he had just left from our home. He is S-L-O-W in the morning so DS having to be at school has helped DH be on a more set schedule. He returns home anywhere from 5-6:30 pm, depending on his day. We always eat dinner together unless he is really late and DS goes to bed at 8:00 pm.

[hollybloom24]

DH commute is 10-20 minutes depending on time of day and traffic.

Leaves before 7 am and returns home typically between 6:30 and 8:30 pm.

I work mostly from home, but when I go to my office, it's 25 minutes - I travel off hours and only go in for three to four hours.