Frustrated with people - "friends"

[cimberdog]

I am just feeling so frustrated right now. I have a group of friends and we are part of a different online community where we keep journals. I work so hard to make sure I pop in and say hello to everyone, or say more, and it really hurts my feelings that in some cases, others can't even be bothered to stop by my journal and say hello. Especially when I see they have gone to all our other friends' journals and not mine. I feel like something is going on, but I don't want to say anything because I am already feeling a little rejected.

All my life I have been nearly alone - I have no dad in my life, no siblings, and it's just harder for me to be outgoing with people because I am extremely sensitive and my feelings are easily hurt (still working on this issue from childhood).

I guess I just needed to vent. I've thrown a huge baby shower and spent over $200 on one friend. Another, I made a quilt for her baby that was very significant, as she suffered a 40 week loss. That same friend - I donated to her charity walk, light candles on her son's memorial site, and I get nothing in return. I have no idea where I could have gone wrong.

But worst of all, I feel for my children. I am feeling so sensitive and sad about this that I don't even feel like I can branch out and get to know other parents without fearing rejection :(

Thanks for reading. Just had to get that off my chest.

[trentsmom]

:hug5:

If I were in your shoes, I would probably start to pull back from my friends just to protect my feelings. And then when I was feeling a little braver and stronger, I'd poke my head out of my shell to see what was going on. I doubt it's anything you've done; maybe some of your friends are just going through a self-focused stage right now.

[elephantmeg]

just wanted to send hugs-you sound like a great friend

[MNmomtobe]

Awww. Hugs to you! I feel like that a lot too. If you were in my neck of the woods, I would be calling you up! :) You sound like a great friend.
I have an only child and worry about her being alone in the world.
You are not alone in your fears. I tend to be very sensitive as well and because of that, don't always see things the way they really are. My DH tells me this a lot. :) I am actively working on changing that.

[overcome]

I could have written quite a bit of your post (with the exception of being alone most of my life..I have been blessed with a close family).

My situation is not so much with adult friends, but with other moms who have children my dd's age. She is an only child and is around adults most of the time. It is REALLY hard to put yourself out there. I have given my phone # to 3 different moms of children my DD's age whose paths we have crossed with several times, and not one of them has called us. It is discouraging. I have to get brave and initiate the contact myself.

You are not the only one! Do keep in mind, that ppl probably have something else going on that is preventing them from reciprocating. We just tend to think it is something we did b/c we are sensitive about it.

Big hugs....

[mommy111]

I wouldn't take it personally AT ALL. There is probably other stuff going on in these people's lives. Either that or this particular group just has a bad dynamic. You sound like an awesome friend. I would love to have a friend like you!

[cimberdog]

Thank you for the very kind and encouraging words. I'd love to have you all near me too!

I wish I wasn't so sensitive about this - but I agree that pulling back until I can get my wits about me is probably a good idea.

I really appreciate you gals!