WAH is killing me...kind of long

[HIU8]

I work PT from home. DS goes to preschool in the mornings and DD is with me. In the afternoons 3x a week we have a babysitter. Right now I am in the office working and DS is balling. He has been for 30 minutes. Before that he was ok. Before he was ok he balled for another 30 minutes. This goes on every time the babysitter comes. Granted, she is new. This is her second week. The sitter we had went back to college after taking some time off. DS really misses her. Meanwhile, if I go downstairs that sets off DD and DS into uncontrollable hysterics. I need to work to pay for preschool for DS. There is no way we won't send him. He needs the experience. So, here I am upstairs trying to get work done, while downstairs at least DS is hysterical. I hope this sitter works out. It was hard to find her. I have no idea how I am going to cook dinner tonight. The sitter is here until 6 to make up for not being here on Labor Day. If/When I go downstairs, whatever repor she has with them becomes completely unraveled. She is helpless and I have two children attached to my legs. I'm thinking going downstairs and 6 and taking the kids out to dinner rather than cooking is a good option tonight. Meanwhile, I'm torn b/c I hate to hear my kids so upset, but I NEED TO GET THIS WORK DONE.

Oye, thanks........

[Emmas Mom]

Go out to dinner! I think that's a great idea. Hopefully they'll get used to her & get into more of a routine. Working at home is HARD! I've done it for over a year now & while I wouldn't change it there are days I seriously MISS going in to the office. And we don't have a babysitter either. So working 4 hours a day can literally take me ALL DAY. Thankfully my work understands that but it doesn't make it any easier. At least DD#1 has started school & that gives me a few hours in the morning with only DD#2. :)

Hang in there Mama!

[Nooknookmom]

I can only empathize w/ you more than offer help. I wah w/ a 16 mo old. I cannot get *anything* done. I just balanced my checkbook after 4 days. Bills? Who knows when they're due and typing proposals or going on bids??? Yikes!

If I go anywhere near my desk she screams & climbs up on me & wants to tear into things or nurse.

I don't have any extra $$ for a sitter nor would she stay w/ one. The only help I get is if older DD helps or I can DH to help (which you would assume he'd help me out more b/c it is our contracting business!)

HUGGGGs!!!!

[sidmand]

I don't know if you have anything similar, but I literally have to close myself in the office to get anything done.

In our case, the office has a separate entrance from the house (and a separate door to shut it off from the rest of the house). To go upstairs I have gone out the office door, taken a front door key, and opened the front door with the key and snuck upstairs and then back out!

DS had terrible separation anxiety. It is much better now, but the sitter would get him calmed down and as soon as he saw me it would just start all over again. The only way to get it to work was that as soon as the sitter came, I say "goodbye DS" and then close myself in the office until she leaves!

[hillview]

DS just turned 3 and he has similar issues -- it seems to vary. We have a not new sitter who he still will whine about/cry on occasion. Can sitter leave the house and go to playground or something fun -- when it gets bad I send them out for something FUN to do (ice cream, store for special treat, new toy from toy closet he hasn't seen before, museum of science etc). Once when I had to work and it was bad, I left and went to an office (or Starbucks!).
GOOD LUCK
/hillary

[elephantmeg]

DS finally after 2-3 weeks stopped sobbing when I left him with the babysitter. DD doesn't care. Sigh. It's hard.

[maylips]

Another empathy hug from someone also going through the WAH fiasco. Sometimes it's really great (payday, being able to talk to other adults) - other times, it absolutely sucks (when I hear her being so cute to someone else in the other room, or when she's utterly miserable and I'm afraid I'll make it worse if I go in).

People who don't do it always tell me how great a life I have. To me, mama guilt begins the day you find out you're pregnant and never ends (at least it hasn't yet!).

Big **hugs** to you and I hope the kiddos start liking the babysitter soon. Sometimes it's better to go work in a coffee shop and let them bond without you there at all.

[Puddy73]

I primarily WOH, but sometimes I do try to WAH. To me, working at home is much more stressful for me and the kids. They just don't understand that I'm there, but not available to them. Even with DH at home, they still like to barge into my office and scream "X pooped on the potty!" or "I need a snack!", usually when I am on a conference call for a multi-million dollar deal. So I either bribe them or give them dirty looks, neither of which makes me feel like a good mom. I think that being totally separated makes it easier for all of us - out of sight, out of mind. ITA agree with the pps' suggestions to either get out of the house to work (library, Starbucks, etc.), have your sitter take DC out of the house, or totally lock yourself in your office until you are done. Good luck!

[tamie]

I WAH full time. At one point my DH had a evening class and we had a mother's helper come in 2 nights a week. The first month was a nightmare- the kids would not let me get my work done. I ended up taking my laptop to the local coffee shop and worked from there for a couple of weeks. They came to love the babysitter and wouldn't give me a second look if I worked from home.

I hope you getsom relief soon!