To Dad's wife...

[sidmand]

I have no doubt that having twins has it's own set of trials and tribulations (her son and DIL have 17-month-old twins). But if I hear one more time that having twins is "seventeen times harder" than mine that are different ages, I think I'm going to seriously scream. Having two that are at totally different stages and ages is no picnic either. I think we both have our challenges and although they are obviously different challenges, I'm not sure one is better or worse or more difficult!!!!!

Phew, thanks for letting me get that out.

[gatorsmom]

I have no doubt that having twins has it's own set of trials and tribulations (her son and DIL have 17-month-old twins). But if I hear one more time that having twins is "seventeen times harder" than mine that are different ages, I think I'm going to seriously scream. Having two that are at totally different stages and ages is no picnic either. I think we both have our challenges and although they are obviously different challenges, I'm not sure one is better or worse or more difficult!!!!!

Phew, thanks for letting me get that out.

So, I'm guessing she is the evil stepmother? As far as what is harder, it depends on the ages. I've had both experiences. The twins were extrememly difficult and time consuming from 0-6 months. Then they adapted to a schedule and became sort of predictable. Many other twins mom have told me the same was true for them. Now the twins, at 9 months are the easiest babies I've ever encountered. They are totally on a routine, they play together and keep each other busy and entertained and I just check on them in their little penned in area occasionally while they are awake. Maybe they'll get harder as they approach the 18month stage.

My older 2 boys are always getting into some sort mischief and are much more time consuming. much more. So tell your stepmonster when she whines next time, "oh phooey! Twins aren't that hard! I have a friend who said..." :)

[sidmand]

I think the main problem I have is that she's not evil. She is a nice lady, but very very opinionated (and most are not my opinions!).

Her kids can do no wrong, but everything we do is wrong (although I do wonder if when she talks to her kids we sound great, but probably not).

They're staying with us, but she hates our cat. I think she is a bit allergic, but she shoos him away and he spends the whole time shut up in the office :( She's doing chemo right now, so I know it's more of an issue now, but it's always been like that!

She is helpful, but nothing in the house is ever clean enough or in the right place or...she has rearranged the kitchen before because things weren't where she thought they should be (ah, DH loved that one!).

And of course her son's twins...nevermind the fact that her son has a fulltime nanny, was home for months (he's a TV writer and the strike just happened to correspond to months of the twins early life!), his wife is a freelance writer who makes her own schedule...

Okay, I guess the 1st post wasn't it after all. I know I have issues here and I'm trying SO hard. I really am. Really.

[elephantmeg]

ugh, just wanted to send big hugs. Maybe she should stay with her son so their nanny can watch her too (evil grin).

[mommy111]

Her kids can do no wrong, but everything we do is wrong (although I do wonder if when she talks to her kids we sound great, but probably not).



I wonder about that. I have an aunt who I used to hate because I couldn't do anything right and my Canadian cousin couldn't do anything wrong. It didn't help that the Canadian cousin was very unfriendly with me. Until we were talking one day and she told me, I am sick of your goodie-2-shoes ways with Auntie she is always telling us how wonderful you are!!!
I bet your stepmom is just like our aunt!

[gatorsmom]

I think the main problem I have is that she's not evil. She is a nice lady, but very very opinionated (and most are not my opinions!).

Her kids can do no wrong, but everything we do is wrong (although I do wonder if when she talks to her kids we sound great, but probably not).

They're staying with us, but she hates our cat. I think she is a bit allergic, but she shoos him away and he spends the whole time shut up in the office :( She's doing chemo right now, so I know it's more of an issue now, but it's always been like that!

She is helpful, but nothing in the house is ever clean enough or in the right place or...she has rearranged the kitchen before because things weren't where she thought they should be (ah, DH loved that one!).

And of course her son's twins...nevermind the fact that her son has a fulltime nanny, was home for months (he's a TV writer and the strike just happened to correspond to months of the twins early life!), his wife is a freelance writer who makes her own schedule...

Okay, I guess the 1st post wasn't it after all. I know I have issues here and I'm trying SO hard. I really am. Really.

You are being too hard on yourself. You don't sound like you need to change at all. It just sounds like a difficult situation. she is living with you (not fun for you) while going through chemo? with 2 little kids around? I can't imagine the stress for both of you.

big hugs. You are very kind for having her stay with you.

[sidmand]

You are being too hard on yourself. You don't sound like you need to change at all. It just sounds like a difficult situation. she is living with you (not fun for you) while going through chemo? with 2 little kids around? I can't imagine the stress for both of you.

big hugs. You are very kind for having her stay with you.

Not so kind of me...she was only here for the weekend to visit. :) They came for a week after DD was born (they said they'd stay as long as we wanted) but DH pointed out that under the best of stress-free life two weeks would be a lot, so we asked them for a week and at the end I think we were both ready for them to go!

She just started chemo and it seems to be going very well. We didn't think she'd be able to see the kids but she was able to see them between chemo rounds and that's great.

I now listen to everything she says, nod, and go about doing what I was going to do anyway unless it's something I really don't care about! I just remember that DS would only calm down if you stood up and she refused to hold him while standing. Then she was saying how her son's son would only go to sleep if someone was standing up and rocking him! Argh.

[maestramommy]

:hug: I have a friend like that. She had twin boys 2 years before Dora was born. In every conversation she's had she talks about how only other parents of multiples get how hard it is, because singleton parents just don't. The last time she said that we were visiting them when Arwyn was 3 months. I don't get offended, but I do think to myself, "what is this, a contest? Having kids is hard, period."

I love her to death, she's a great mom, had kids even later than me. But it doesn't stop me from having those thoughts:loveeyes:

oops, should've read the other posts first.:hug: That must be a lot of pressure!