Life changes with newborn?

[jessejo28]

Hi all, I am just curious what families' days and evenings are like with your first child under 6 months? What I am looking for is things you do, how you spend your time? Prior to our son arriving, my DH and I would watch certain TV shows during the week we liked and chedk email etc, web surf. I still do these things now but sometimes feel like things should be different with my son here. We of course have a bathtime now and I am on computer much less than I was but I still feel wierd that things are not as differnt as I thought they would be. I feel that as he gets bigger and we can "do" more besides talk and sing to him we will do more. We do tons on the weekends-football games, bowling, etc and Ds has already been to these things with us. I am just mainly asking about evenings.

Also I am a new SAH Mom and wonder if others schedule their days so that say every Tues is grocery day, etc or do you just go with the flow? I am loving my new life and cannot think of any other way to spend my days then with my son. Thanks for the info. J:hug:

[C99]

Oh I remember these days!

I think you are doing fine. Life changes with an infant in the house, but I think it's mostly a mental change in the first 6 months or so. As your baby ages and needs a regular bedtime, dinnertime, etc., these things will fall into place, as will the routine of your days. When DS1 was a baby, I imposed a routine just so I would have some sense of order -- shopping on Mondays, laundry on Tuesdays, playgroup on Wednesdays, cleaning on Thursdays, yoga on Fridays -- but it was really more for me than it was for him. As he got older and needed more structure, things fell into place. It's an evolution, not an overnight change. One thing that people told me when DS1 was an infant, but I didn't really listen and the wisdom of 5+ years later makes me realize it: as your routines evolve, be sure to build in time for yourself to do the things you enjoy when DH cares for the baby, and also build in time for the two of you as a couple.

[maestramommy]

If it works for you, don't think of changing it:) And if you feel like your daily life hasn't changed all that much, some would say you were one of the lucky ones LOL! I actually have found myself watching MORE TV since the kids came because I tape the shows the night before, and watch them during naptime. I can watch up to 3 shows per nap.

We did do things like change shopping day to every Sunday after church. We were living in a 2nd floor apt, and it was just not possible to get me, my kids, and the groceries up 2 flights of stairs by myself. However, now that we have our own house with a garage, that will probably change, particularly since church starts at 10:30. It's too rushed to do a week's worth of shopping and get home in time for lunch and nap.

Also, I'm going to schedule laundry days because we are switching to cloth diapering, and will need to add 3 loads a week to our lineup. We have an older septic tank, so we try to do only one load a day. I need to assign days otherwise I will get totally confused.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Our life with baby sounds like your's. My babies have been so happy to chill out on playmats, eventually learn to move... In the very beginning it is mostly about eating and sleeping. By 6m baby is into more of a routine and eager to see the world. Even boring errands are neat for them b/c they get out, get to interact with other people and see new sights. But, at home we were all happy to just do what we normally did while interacting with baby too. Babies have fit pretty well into our not terribly exciting lives. :)

If you are looking for other activities you could try something like a baby lap sit at the library. We started taking ds2 when he was 4m old and he really liked it. We plan to do a music class together soon. And there are some indoor play places geared to the 5 and under set (with special infant areas) so we will probably hang out there a lot.


Beth

[JenaW]

I agree. My day-to-day life did not change at all with one. My son was an extremely laid back baby and was very portable. He lived in his infant seat (before I knew they were not the best resting place for babies) or a front carrier (before I learned the benefits of a sling!) and we went anywhere I wanted to. We did not have central air the summer he was born so I spent a lot of time at the local book store sipping cold drinks and reading books/magazines while he snoozed. He would wake up every so often for a nurse or snuggle and fall right back asleep. I did TRY to give myself somewhat of a schedule regarding MY responsibilities (i.e. cleaning, laundry) ONLY to make sure they all got done. I went for walks when I wanted to, pretty much did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to, as he was really just along for the ride and content to me in my arms/near me. I also napped whenever he did (if we were at home), a leisure I really miss now with 4 little ones and a 5th on the way! As for our family life, it also did not change. DH was a resident at the time, so I often packed a dinner if he was late/on call and would take DS and meet him at the hospital in the cafeteria for some family time. If DH was home, we still did all of our usual nighttime activities. We didn't stop watching TV until DS was about 15 months, when we realized he was staring at the TV more, and I read somewhere that even the tone of the voices (on the news, for instance or a scary show) could have a negative impact on a young child even if they couldn't understand the content. We went out to dinner alone or with friends, as DS would happily sit in his car seat or on our laps and look around (or sleep). We even went to the movies a bit, although we soon switched to the drive-in as we realized that was more comfortable, a better deal, and easier once he had longer awake periods.

All-in-all, I think you just need to do whatever works. Things will definitely change a bit once your DC is older and more alert, mobile, etc. So for now, enjoy it and enjoy him!

J

[ThreeofUs]

I read the posts here and just had to chuckle. Having a laid-back baby sounds like a dream!

Our experience was *completely* different, and we were forced to make drastic changes in our lives with DS#1. All activities, any social life - and we were pretty quiet beforehand - went out the window.

I'd say your life with baby sounds idyllic - best of luck to you and your DS!

[pb&j]

DS went to bed for the night so early at that age, that there wasn't a huge change in our evenings after 6:30 pm. Except for all the extra laundry, extra chores, and pumping. ;) Once he started staying up later, things changed for sure.

[niccig]

Things changed for us once DS started to move. We then got involved in some classes and activities. He's 3 now, and weekends are all about getting errands down around family activities, naps and birthday parties. DH's life is work then home, my life is home. We're getting better at scheduling time for ourselves separately and together. Most of our friends have kids, so life is all about family activities for our social groups

[beansprout13]

I read the posts here and just had to chuckle. Having a laid-back baby sounds like a dream!

Our experience was *completely* different, and we were forced to make drastic changes in our lives with DS#1. All activities, any social life - and we were pretty quiet beforehand - went out the window.

:yeahthat:

DS1 and DS2 were (are) both very high maintenance and not at all laid-back. Most of my evenings are spent trying to soothe a fussy DS2. Pretty much a drastic change from the quiet, restful evenings of the past!

[niccig]

I was thinking about this post as I drive home with DS after having lunch with DH. I think changes you experience are relative. DS was an easy baby, so visiting DH for lunch and shopping afterward were easy. A friend's DS cried for months and months, so she wouldn't have gone to lunch with a newborn. Fast forward 3 years. DS is the kind of kid that wants to touch everything and run around, so walking through the mall is an obstacle course, so that means no shopping, and on the drive home instead of sleeping, he talked his head off and kept asking why why why questions until I want to scream. I had my friend's DS yesterday while she had a Dr's appt and my DS was in preschool, and I ran 3 errands with him as he's a quiet child that will stand and wait while you pay for the groceries, he was so easy. I never do 3 errands in a row with DS. Maybe 2, mostly one.

I do know that for me 0-12 months was the easiest it's been. But for others, it was the most difficult time.

[salsah]

I read the posts here and just had to chuckle. Having a laid-back baby sounds like a dream!

Our experience was *completely* different, and we were forced to make drastic changes in our lives with DS#1. All activities, any social life - and we were pretty quiet beforehand - went out the window.

I'd say your life with baby sounds idyllic - best of luck to you and your DS!

:yeahthat:

having a baby completely turn our lives upside down. just today i was thinking about how much i miss my life before i had kids.

enjoy!

[mommyp]

Our experience sounds quite a bit like yours. DD's pretty easygoing and likes to see new things and especially other kids. So this summer we did baby time at the library on Tuesdays and mom/baby fitness class on Thursdays. I work Tues/Thurs now and she's at an in-home DCP, but we started parent/baby swim class on Wed. But our MWF are pretty relaxed, we hang out at home and go for walks or run errands between nap times and feeding times. Our evenings after she goes to bed are pretty similar to before she was born. I've always been more of a homebody anyway, so it works for me. I agree it was more of a mental adjustment for us, that, and getting used to functioning on interrupted sleep!

[jessejo28]

It is nice to hear everyone's experiences. I know how blessed I am to have a laid back kiddo, but that will just make the next one seem harder if he is even slightly more uptight. After I asked that question last night, I thought about it this morning. Maybe I was hormonal last night cuz it seems fine today. I figure he goes in the sling out on errands, sits with me at my computer, and has to be learning stuff from all that exposure to life. I still enjoy hearing other Mom's and Dad's stories though so keep them coming if you want to!

Jessica
6week old son