Birthday Party questions

[MMEand1]

So my DS will be 6 in November. He had a 1 year old Birthday party (more for us than for him) in which we had over 100 people come to a BBQ. We provided everything as a way to say thanks for helping us during this past year kind of thing. We decided that when our DS was born he would get a set number of birthday parties - not one every year (1yo, 5 or 6 yo, 8yo, 12yo, 16yo and an 18yo party). We have a little family (as in me, DH, and DD) dinner and cake each year, but no big party with friends or extended family.

So herre we are on the cusp of my DS turning 6 and it is time for me to plan his first birthday party (1yo party did not count). I don't have a clue!! My DH and I have been talking about having it at the martial arts school where he has been taking lessons for the past year. We don't know how many kids to invite (if we invite one kid in his kindergarten class we have to invite all of them), what to serve besides cake, what kind of favors (or if we should even do them), or anything else.

I was kind of thinking of just buying some karate headbands for each child, but after reading some of the goody/favor bag threads, I think that a headband would fall into the "crap" or "useless" category of goodies. I was thinking about picking up a few cheap karate uniforms to give as prizes for games, but don't know if that's a good idea either. UGH!!!

Another thing I'm not sure of is presents. Should we request no gifts (which is what we did for his 1yo party); should we allow gifts knowing that my 3yo won't get a party for another couple of years; or should we have gifts brought that we can donate to Toys for Tots since it is so close to Christmas - and if so, how do you work that on an invitation?

I am SOOO clueless! I probably sound like a dork, but I just really don't know! Perhaps if I were a SAHM I would magically have all the answers, but this mom job is way harder than my profession!!! Kudos to all the SAHM's out there that do parties every year!!!

Mariah P.

[BeachBum]

Families do things different ways, but I don't think that it has to be no party or a total blow out.
We do big parties (but not THAT big) because I like to. We enjoy entertaining like that and have 30-50 person parties several times a year. If you don't enjoy it don't do it. But also don't feel pressured to skip a party just because you don't want to have a huge blow out.

Many, many families I know limit the number of kids to the age of the child, so for example your child would be able to invite 6 kids. At this age I think most parents expect to "drop off" so you don't even have to feed the parents. I would tell your child the number and let him choose to invite. I don't think you need to invite every child in the class unless your plan was to invite all but 2 or something where kids would really get their feelings hurt. Mail their invites instead of putting them in everyone's book bag if that is the school rule.

As for presents, I would absolutely let DS get presents. From your schedule 6yr and 8yrs are the only actual "kid" parties he gets. To me it seems punitive to not let him have the experience of opening presents at his party. At Christmas time if you typically do a toy purge to donate then dump some of the stuff then.

At age 8 you'll probably have a few boys over to watch a movie and a sleepover, and by 12 you'll just be taking his best friend to dinner and ice cream with your family. Not that you couldn't have a party, I just don't think many do. I remember just a couple of sweet 16 parties (in both instances the parents had access to a large conference room and had a dance) and no 18 yr olds having a party.

As for favors I think karate head bands sound great.

[egoldber]

As for presents, I would absolutely let DS get presents. From your schedule 6yr and 8yrs are the only actual "kid" parties he gets.

I agree. Since this is not going to be an annual occurence I would let him get presents.

I would also ask him what he wants to do. Sarah helped me plan her 6 year old party and she had very definite ideas of what she wanted and did not want. She also had some really good ideas for favor bags.


To me it seems punitive to not let him have the experience of opening presents at his party.

But this is a regional thing. Here it is definitely not the norm for kids to open presents at the actual party.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Hs he been to any birthday parties that he has liked?

I like the karate studio one. I would talk to the director there and see what a birthday party there entails. They may have a clear outline for what the normal birthday party there is like (what food is served...).

I do not think that favors need to be themed. If you can't find a karate themed one that you like then just move on. Do you have an idea for a budget on the favors?

At 6yo you may or may not have parents staying. Drop off parties are pretty common but I tell you , this summer every b-day party we went to (6yo) the parents stayed. We all stayed to chat with each other. I know I would have been ok if I didn't get fed though because I was extraneous to their head count. All the parties did have snacks and ample cake to share though. None of the ones this summer were during meal time so I don't know what they would have done wrt things like pizza. Whatever food you decide to serve make sure you list it in the invite! YOu don't have to be specific but include a line like, "light snacks and cake will be served," or, "pizza, snacks and cake will be served." I appreciate that detail on an invite so much! It just takes the guess work out of whether I should feed ds 1st or not.

I am absolutely in favor of him getting presents and them being opened at the party. Frankly, I don't care if it is the "in" thing to do in a particular social circle. It is fun! I don't know a kid that doesn't enjoy getting to see the presents be opened. And at 6yo they are more than likely (always some exceptions) be able to be excited for the b-day kid and not jealous.

If you invite one or 2 children from class discreetly and outside of school is that still against the rules? I haven't been to a school where thy have required you to invite the whole class unless you pass out invites at school. You might want to double check on that in case he has a really good friend you would want to invite.

I know what I know about birthdays based on going to lots of them and reading lots of b-day party planning books and websites. :) One year I went through the library's database and requested all the b-day party planning books and then took notes on ideas I liked. I tend to buy any parenting magazine that has a special feature on b-day parties. Then I just google a lot when I have some ideas for b-day parties. This is one of my very favorite resources:
http://birthdaypartyideas.com/



I agree with BeachBum too- parties come in all shapes and sizes. You don't have to skip a party just b/c you don't want a huge one. It will be fun even if it is just him and 6 friends.

Have fun!!
You have some great ideas!

Beth

[egoldber]

Frankly, I don't care if it is the "in" thing to do in a particular social circle. It is fun! I don't know a kid that doesn't enjoy getting to see the presents be opened. And at 6yo they are more than likely (always some exceptions) be able to be excited for the b-day kid and not jealous.

See, everyone is different. The one time I saw it done, it was very boring and tedious for everyone not the birthday child. But it was a large-ish party with 20 kids so that was a LOT of presents to sit through opening. At a smaller, more intimate party I can see where it could be fun.

Also, if you go with a party at a venue, if you only get 1 1/2 - 2 hours, there is often no time to actually open presents there. With 15-30 minutes of meet & greet, 45-60 minutes of themed activity, and then 30 minutes for cake and snack, usually the party is over.

[Tondi G]

I think the Martial Arts themed party sounds like fun... I wish my DS's studio still did birthday parties!!!

Here is some cute themed party favors

http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/search/processRequest.do?Ntt=Karate&requestURI=searchMain&Ntk=all&Ntx=mode%2Bmatchallpartial&N=0

Or here... ninja themed party supplies would work.. there are some rubber ninja stars, rubber bracelets and little bendy ninjas. I think the headbands might be cool though too.

http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/search/processRequest.do?No=0&D=ninja&Ntt=ninja&Ntk=all&Dx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&Ntx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&N=0&requestURI=searchMain

I would let him have presents since this is one of the few birthday parties he will have during his childhood. I would check with them and see what the timeframe is for parties and what the price would be for his whole Kindergarten class vs just inviting a few kids.

Good Luck with the planning!

[Tondi G]

I think the Martial Arts themed party sounds like fun... I wish my DS's studio still did birthday parties!!!

Here is some cute themed party favors

http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/search/processRequest.do?Ntt=Karate&requestURI=searchMain&Ntk=all&Ntx=mode%2Bmatchallpartial&N=0

Or here... ninja themed party supplies would work.. there are some rubber ninja stars, rubber bracelets and little bendy ninjas. I think the headbands might be cool though too.

http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/search/processRequest.do?No=0&D=ninja&Ntt=ninja&Ntk=all&Dx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&Ntx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&N=0&requestURI=searchMain

I would let him have presents since this is one of the few birthday parties he will have during his childhood. I would check with them and see what the timeframe is for parties and what the price would be for his whole Kindergarten class vs just inviting a few kids.

Good Luck with the planning!

[MMEand1]

Thanks for all the input. I guess I should clarify that we do not plan on having 100 people for this one! I figured it would be anywhere in the neighborhood of 10-15 at most.

My children have only been to 3-4 parties total and don't really have a clue about them. My son is so laid back and anti-social for the most part that it will be interesting to see if he socializes with the other kids.

We still have 2 months to go before his birthday, so there is plenty of time!

Thanks again!
Mariah P.