DS sleep issues - need help!

[beansprout13]

DS2 is 3.5 months and not sleeping AT ALL! He is up every 1.5 - 2 hours at night (on a good night) and sometimes every 45 minutes. This is fairly new - the last 2 weeks or so. Before that, he was up 1-2 times per night (which I can absolutely handle), but now it is 5-6 times per night. He just won't sleep and it is so frustrating to me. He doesn't sleep at all during the day - he usually sleeps for a total of 1.5 hours during the day, broken in to four 20 min. snoozes or so (I can't even call them "naps").

We explored the reflux idea and had him on some meds b/c he was showing some signs of silent reflux, but neither zantac nor prevacid seemed to help him so I've given up on that idea. My ped. doesn't seem to think that his sleep issues are medically related at all.

He is an absolutely miserable baby because he doesn't sleep enough and I'm not doing too well myself.

Any advice on how to extend the night sleep? I am BFeeding, but he isn't getting up to eat. He is waking up and just doesn't know how to fall back to sleep without my help... (although he once did as he was going 4 hours a few weeks ago.)

I'm slowly losing my mind...:banghead:

[CAM7]

We had/have the same issue with DS2.5 years.

Co-sleeping seemed to help a lot...less waking up and quicker to fall asleep after nursing. On the nights (most) that he would fuss for a while we had to take turns walking him...keeping room dark and no noise or talking to him.

He seemed to start sleeping better as soon as he was able to do more physical activities...crawling... walking...etc.

Getting him out of the house for a morning activity was really important...it's like we had to wear him out so he'd sleep better.

He is still like that... we'll need to get him into a running sport as soon as he turns 4.

ETA: don't forget, of course, to take care of yourself. Looking back now I think we should have had the sitter come over more often...

[CAM7]

....also if you are a caffeine drinker make sure you have NO caffeine after 1pm or so...

[brittone2]

Have you tried swaddling? DS hated it but DD slept better swaddled in her Swaddle-me or her Miracle Blanket.

White noise?

Cosleeping?

My kids always needed help getting back to sleep but as they matured it worked out fine. I think it would be unusual for a 3.5 month old to get back to sleep on their own. Mine always nursed to sleep and when they'd stir they would just nurse again while cosleeping. It kept everyone much happier.

I've never really read the sleep training books but many people say sleep begets sleep...so if you can improve daytime naps, maybe he'll sleep better at night? (does he nap any better upright, like in the swing? Can you sling him to sleep during the day for a better nap?).

Have you read the Happiest Baby on the Block book or watched the DVD?

I hope you can find a solution. The hardest thing for me is to remember that just because things are like this now doesn't mean they will always be this way. When you are sleep deprived, it is so difficult to remember that.

edited to fix grammar ;)

[srhs]

:D beansprout--As you know, I posted similar frustrations a few weeks ago and was encouraged by people like you who replied or PMed me with "Me too! AAA!"

I am happy to report that DS really seems to be coming out of this a little bit at a time. I read and tried a lot of different things. I'll fully admit it *could* just be the tincture of time (which is the easiest but most frustrating to duplicate ;) ), not any of the things we tried, but here's the list of what seems to have helped:

Using the 4 S's as a winddown routine (from Baby Whisperer)

Swaddling arms-in, especially when crying and upset, fighting sleep

Paci when waking up in middle of night (DS stopped taking it for the most part 2 mos. ago but will take it in the middle of the night to calm down, we found out)

Infant Simethicone when it's clearly gas-related

DH (non food source) being comforter every time we are sure he's not hungry and at the beginning of him waking up when we are trying to figure out if he's hungry

Getting DS outside (I tricked him into a few daytime naps by simply putting him in bouncy seat on deck with me.)

Taking him on a walk when nothing else worked. (I resisted this because I needed to get things done, but I wasn't going to get anything done with him screaming either, so had to get over that.)

Getting out and about as PP said (I wouldn't leave the house because I didn't want him having the meltdown in public, was too tired to get us both ready and out the door, and also was afraid I'd miss that magical window of opportunity. However, when I got over that and took him out, he was usually quite content. And he'd sleep here and there.)

HUGE ONE--Cutting myself some slack, after others on here advised me to
:D I stopped stressing about swing naps, car naps, falling asleep nursing, good sleep habits, or the like.


:hug:


ETA

Sling (worked a couple of times to lull to sleep in day)

Staying with DS until REALLY asleep (part of the 4Ss...or at least explained in BW)...I'd keep patting him, shhing him or whatever until he was really asleep. If I stopped too soon, I'd have to start all over.

Leaving him with DH one day (Seriously! He took a 2 1/2 hour nap for him!!! Can you believe it? Then 2 30 mins. naps and 1 1 hour nap. Unheard of! He hasn't repeated that for me but has been increasingly better.)

E(again)TA

Closing my eyes (So silly but effective. DS is a big facial expression mimic-er (sp?). Anyway, when I'm holding him to sleep or sitting on the floor while he's in the swing, he'll stare at me. If I close my eyes, he will too. Crazy easy.)

[SnuggleBuggles]

The one thing I can do is commiserate. My ds is 9m old and we still seem to be on a 10 good sleep day/ 10 bad sleep day cycle. I don't know what is really going on. When it is good it is very good and easy. Watchi out for the bad days!

We had a really rough go around 3m. It did pass and things improved a bunch after that. I remember feeling like we must have been doing something really wrong but I am sure it was just a growth spurt. Even when they aren't hungry they want to nurse to build your supply up.

We did swaddle again around that time and it seemed to help. We also tried the pacifier for a few weeks with success.

At this age I think it is all about survival for you. Nurse to sleep and don't worry that it will be a bad habit. It's too soon for that to really be an issue. Don't worry about trying to teach him to sleep now. Just get sleep however you can. :)

I hope things get better- and stay better- for you soon!
Beth

[ltmommy]

I had the same problem with DS. The longest he would go at night was maybe 3 hours, and usually no more than 10 minutes at a time during the day unless I was holding him. I tried, swaddling, unswaddling, swing, white noise, Prevacid, altering my diet (no caffeine, cut way back on dairy but kept messing up and eating things with "hidden dairy", no tomatoes).

Finally, I took him for his 4 month appointment. I must have looked like a madwoman at this point, from lack of sleep. Dr. suggested the following:
- at 4 months, he was old enough to start a little rice cereal (we waited for other solids till closer to 6 months)
- at 4 months, he was also ready to cry it out a little
- swaddle, swaddle, swaddle. I was starting to think he was getting too big - DD dropped the swaddle at 3 mos. But the doctor said to try swaddling for naptimes too.

So I tried all of it, right away, and something worked. I think he was probably overtired so once we got him going, he turned into a great sleeper.

Ask your doc about the first 2, but you can try daytime swaddle now. And hang in there, it won't last forever!

[brittone2]

I had the same problem with DS. The longest he would go at night was maybe 3 hours, and usually no more than 10 minutes at a time during the day unless I was holding him. I tried, swaddling, unswaddling, swing, white noise, Prevacid, altering my diet (no caffeine, cut way back on dairy but kept messing up and eating things with "hidden dairy", no tomatoes).

Finally, I took him for his 4 month appointment. I must have looked like a madwoman at this point, from lack of sleep. Dr. suggested the following:
- at 4 months, he was old enough to start a little rice cereal (we waited for other solids till closer to 6 months)
- at 4 months, he was also ready to cry it out a little
- swaddle, swaddle, swaddle. I was starting to think he was getting too big - DD dropped the swaddle at 3 mos. But the doctor said to try swaddling for naptimes too.

So I tried all of it, right away, and something worked. I think he was probably overtired so once we got him going, he turned into a great sleeper.

Ask your doc about the first 2, but you can try daytime swaddle now. And hang in there, it won't last forever!

In terms of solids, there is research showing that rice cereal does not improve sleep for most babies, and you run the risk actually increasing tummy discomfort.

http://kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-sleep.html

In terms of CIO, even doctors like Ferber now say babies should be at least 6 months old (I can understand letting them fuss a bit, but many 4 month olds cannot neurologically self-soothe).

[beansprout13]

Thanks for all of your suggestions. It's just a rough time with DS2, so I'm grasping at straws for anything that might make this time easier! DS1 is having issues too, but that is a whole different story (although you may see that shortly in a post!)

DS2 has never been a huge fan of swaddling, but I'm thinking of trying it again since I do see that "startle reflex" occasionally waking him. I don't know if it will work, but worth a try. What do you swaddle in?? DS2 is pretty long for a 3.5 month old (25.5 inches) so he doesn't fit in the Swaddleme or other swaddle blankets that we have. Is there something else for longer babies?

TIA!

[srhs]

What do you swaddle in?? DS2 is pretty long for a 3.5 month old (25.5 inches) so he doesn't fit in the Swaddleme or other swaddle blankets that we have. Is there something else for longer babies?

TIA!

We have a Size Large Swaddle Me. My DS was 26" at his 4 mo appt, and that was 1 mo ago.

GL!

[baileygirl]

Music? We use a cd with ds called heartbeat therapy. It has a heartbeat thru the whole cd and plays songs. It is supposed to be soothing and be familiar when they wake up. It worked well for us. DS is 21 months and we are still playing it during the night for him. He was a bad sleeper for most of the first 8 months, but I'll take it because he is an awesome sleeper now.

Is it possible DS is teething or has an ear infection if this is a sudden thing?

[elephantmeg]

we use a large peice of flannel-a yard square to swaddle-we still swaddle dd