WWYD: Elementary school and food

[JustMe]

Dd is in a full day Kindergarten. They provide free breakfast to all kids b/c a high percentage of kids are low income. I was pretty upset to see how junky the choices are. The daily choice is pretty much frosted shredded wheats or a nutrigrain bar. Since dd is allergic to milk and doesn't drink the milk with it, there is just not a lot of good in this breakfast for her...nutrition for the poor kids, NOT! Then I have been sending her lunch everyday, but she somehow has them believing she needs to get a free school lunch, which we don;t qualify for and is junk, so I need to talk to them about this. They then get a snack before they leave..which, you guessed it, is junk...something with high fructose corn syrup and hydrrogenated transfats. Then she goes to her afterschool program, based at her old preschool, where they serve her a semi-healthy lunch...but can you believe how much food this kid is eating?

What do I do? I don't think the teachers will be willing to stop her from eating anything they serve (other than the free lunch which she is not entitled to, and I will talk to them about)? I hate to cause a big stink first thing upon our entering this school (Dd is in Kindergarten). I knew when she started elementary school I would have a lot less control over what she eats (and she has been in full day childcare since she is 13 mos old, so I never had that much control), but the breakfast and snack factor make things even worse. Do I just have to accept this. I have talked to dd about healthy choices (conversations we have always had...). She has done better with this in the past, but when stuff is right there in front of her, she's not going to choose not to eat it...

[egoldber]

I would just simply tell the teacher that you don't want your daughter getting the food and you will be providing it from now on. I think at this age it should be relatively starightforward conversation, at least with the teachers.

I would then also talk to the principal and the lunch supervisor about your unhappiness with the food choices.

[kijip]

I am surprised by the food options. I thought school breakfasts (which receive federal funding) had to meet certain requirements pertaining to sugar content? Or is it not officially part of the breakfast program? Here breakfast is cereal (like cheerios) and various hot food options. Besides the sugar, it just does not seem like enough food. A nutrigrain bar just does not seem like enough breakfast for kids not getting a morning meal at home.

Our school food here is not super great, but it is not really bad either. I was nicely surprised when we started, but I still pack lunch. I'd start packing her a breakfast and snack and just tell them you will be providing all her meals at school.

[JustMe]

Thanks for the replies. I am not sure where the funding for this program comes from..but I don't think it is federal...yeah, a nutrigrain bar doesn't cut it for breakfast. The problem is that I don't think the teachers will prevent dd from taking breakfast/snack. The way it is set up, at least for breakfast, the kids go and take their breakfast and sit down. The teachers don't really supervise this part (they are in the room, but seem to be busy getting ready for the day...another story). I have been bringing dd b/c she is not ready to go on the bus in the morning, but do plan to transition out of this, so I can actually get to work on time).

Today, I asked the teachers if they were giving her a "card" to get lunch sometimes (dd does lie, so you never know). The teacher said it was possible this had happened, and I didnt quite follow the explanation, and she said she hoped I wouldnt have to pay for it...what??? She then said dd must be confused. Dd is not confused, she is working the system! (BTW, in case *you* are confused lunch is in the cafeteria and breakfast and snack are in the classroom). They said they would make sure she got the right card for now (I guess they need the card for something else unrelated to eating, who knows).

Anyway, sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I am frustrated and don't really feel I can do anything about breakfast and snack as I do not think they will prevent her from taking it (which is different from the cafeteria people actually giving her the lunch, which is not provided free to the whole school unlike the other 2 "meals").

[ThreeofUs]

I'd make an issue of it, frankly. It sounds like the school doesn't make good nutritional decisions and can't get its act together even around which kids are supposed to have free lunches.

Talk with the principal, with a list of your concerns with solutions on paper. If you don't get satisfaction, I'd say this is a school board matter. Something's very wrong.

[egoldber]

Is the breakfast time before school actually starts? If so, can you just drop her off after breakfast is over? Or just feed her breakfast at home and not worry about the Nutrigrain bar.

I would really schedule some time with the teacher and the principal about this though. Both to understand the program and what your options are.

[JustMe]

Thanks for the suggestions. Yes, school does start at breakfast time...part of the lovely program. I will think about involving the principal...I just don't want to alienate them so early in the game!

[egoldber]

It is your right to have questions and to have the school make accommodations for you. It is NOT at all a bad thing to be known as "that parent" who will be there and in their face if there is an issue.

OTOH, I wouldn't go in confrontational about it. I'd be much more passive aggressive than that. ;) Something like "Oh, Principal X, just wanted to say hi. Little Z is having such a nice time in K. I gotta say that I am a little concerned about the foods being offered at breakfast and snack. How does this work exactly? I'd rather she opt out, but I'm not sure how to make it work......"

Just be conversational and pleasant, but make it very clear that you don't want your kid eating the food, that you want their support and that you are concerned about what they are offering.

[almostamom]

It sounds to me like your DD is attends a schoolwide Title 1 school. I taught in one of these schools prior to being a mom. All students were entitled to a free breakfast served in the classroom. Where I taught, the food was delivered to each classroom before school started which eliminated the hot breakfast option students had when only some students ate before school in the cafeteria. My students ate breakfast the first few minutes of the day as I was trying to take attendance, collect homework, listen to announcements, etc. It was very busy! My students chose what they wanted from two "main dishes" (donuts, cinnamon buns, cereal, etc.) and juice or milk. Students also had the choice of not taking any breakfast. Trust me, as teachers we were not at all happy about the food selection. Imagine a class of 32 fifth graders all on a sugar high first thing in the morning! Definitely talk to your daughter's teacher and let her know you'd either she not participate in breakfast or bring in her own.

[kransden]

The principal isn't involved with the lunch at most schools. We had the district lunch director come to talk to our PTA about these very issues. After listening to her here is what it comes down to:
1. They have a tiny budget that will not be increased. Federal funds are already cut.
2. The kids have to have so many calories/ fats etc. as required by federal law.
3. The suppliers have to also offer decent things for the schools to buy.
4. It is extremely hard to get that many calories etc. with the available money for breakfast that the kids will eat unless it is junk.

I truely don't believe you will be able to change your district. The money and support is just not there. Your better bet is to educate and feed your child. As a substitue what I often see is the children that have already eaten at home engage in social eating. They take a bite of the cereal and talk to their friends or give the extra food to them. (It really upsets me when the kids are stealing/hoarding the extra food. No child should have to do that in America.) Unless your child has suddenly gained weight, I bet that is what is going on, and it isn't as harmful as you think. It just sounds like a social issue. :)

[JustMe]

Thanks again everyone! Beth, I like your suggestions about how to approach the principal. Almostamom, you are right, it is a title 1 school-wide program. Regarding the fact that she may just be eating breakfast in only small amounts socially if I feed her at home, not much chance of that with my child! She is a bottomless pit and will eat and eat and eat! Luckily, she seems to have the metabolism to go along with it (definitely one way that it is obvious she is adopted!), but she has never had this much junky type stuff so far, so we will see. Unfortunately, the sugary food also tastes better to her....