Bye Bye Binky

[GlindaGoodWitch]

So DD is waaaaaaaaaaay overdue to get rid of this thing. She's already got speech and tactile issues. I tried the cutting the "mouth" part out leaving only the "shell" (an idea from our ECI coordinator) and she looked at it and cried. And cried. And cried some more.

There was no nap today.

Any ideas for this evening ladies???

Or all you all just tougher than my wimpy butt and do it cold turkey?

PS When I cut the thing this afternoon, I felt like I was mutilating her best friend.

[KrystalS]

When I took away my DDs binky I waited until she had went to sleep, it always fell out of her mouth once she was asleep, and then took it away. The next morning I told her the binky fairy had come and taken her binkies to a baby that needed them and gave her a toy in return. She cried a little at nap time that day and that night but she was fine by the next day.
I always thought the cutting it was so gross. It gets spit all inside of it.

[Twoboos]

We had talked up the Binky fairy for a long time, that she would come and take DD2s pacis to new babies who need them (since she's not a baby anymore!). And one day after a couple of false starts, DD just said - ok, let's do it.

Binky fairy came and left a chocolate lollipop (DD's request) and a big-girl lunchbox (surprise!). DD was thrilled, until that night when she realized there was no binky. It was hard. and unfortunately the binky fairy also took the naps by accident. We have missed those the most. Or, maybe that's just me.

DD sees pics of herself and says forlornly "oh, there's my binky!"

How old is your DD? DD2 was almost 3 at the time. It's been about 3-4mos now. I can see her teeth straightening out, thank goodness. We are going to have her speech evaluated in the next couple of mos. There are still some letters she doesn't pronounce

I don't know if this helps or not. It was definitely a few days transition. And the naps are occassional at best now.

Good luck!!!

[GlindaGoodWitch]

Thanks for the tips ladies. DD is a little over 2. (I was putting this whole thing off as long as I could, but I kinda got a little chewed out by our OT.) She's in speech therapy for delayed expressive speech and although we think she's right on the money receptive-wise and tested a bit above her age level for cognitive stuff, I'm not 100% sure she'll "get" the whole binky fairy thing. You can bet I'm going to try it though.

She has sensory issues as well (in the form of tactile defensiveness) and so that adds a little extra layer for us. I can't figure out how much she just "wants" it as opposed to "needs" it... Does that make sense?

The toy idea is a good one. She's kinda into Dora lately so maybe I'll see if there's a cuddly doll or something?

In the meantime - I'll be begging the big guy upstairs that this doesn't put an end to her naps. That might just finish me off.

[Tammy]

Oh my- good luck with this. I was actually going to post something tonight about paci weaning. My dd will be 2 soon and LOVES her paci- now she's to the point of wanting it all the time. I can't imagine her sleeping without it too. I'll be watching to see what others say. Hope you still get your nap time sanity.

[almostamom]

The Binky Fairy visited our house too! (She is a busy gal, isn't she?) If it makes you feel better, DS was 3. We had tried to eliminate it prior to that, but it was DS' go to object for comfort and yes, I caved. One day the Binky Fairy came and left DS a big dump truck. It wasn't planned. We just lost the one remaining binky and used the situation to our advantage. DS cried for about a minute or two and never asked for it again. I'm sorry to say that the Diaper Fairy has not provided the same result with potty training! ;)

Linda

[KpbS]

There's always the idea of having her help you package up all of the pacis/binkys and deliver them to a new baby who "needs" them. Some kids really get into this and it helps them make the connection that they are now big kids in a very gentle yet vivid way. Worth a shot if you know of any newborns.

Don't feel too bad--some of DS's playmates still have theirs at almost 4(!) years old.

[tarahsolazy]

My son was very speech-delayed at age 2, his expressive age equivalency was 12 months. He also liked his binky, but was only allowed it at bedtime and naptime. I'd have nursed him to sleep at that age, so I didn't think it was a huge thing, after all, he wasn't learning to talk while asleep.

So I let him keep it until he was ready to give it up, about a week or two shy of his 4th birthday. I have no regrets.

He learned to talk over a six week period when he was 26-28 months old. At 30 months, his expressive language age equivalency was 42 months. It wasn't anything the speech therapist did, it was just my quirky guy's developmental track.

If your DD has oral sensory issues, don't they usually recommend chew toys? Seems counter-intuitive to take away an oral stim she loves and introduce a new one.

[super_grape]

with our oldest, we talked up the "sa sa lady" for about a month
prior to her visit and marked the date on the calendar with stickers.
she was exactly 3 and took it very well. we hung the pacifiers on the front
door in a baggy and the next morning there was a giant dora doll waiting
on the front step when she woke up. she cried a bit the next day at nap
and again at bedtime but she still went to sleep and was just fine.

funny story....we were about to put our house up for sale when all that
happened. one day a prospective real estate agent came by to drop off some
paper work. she rang the bell and katie went flying up to the door, peeked out
the window and screamed "IT'S THE LAY-DEE!" in this half horrified/half awed
little voice:D .

[almostmom]

Just sending hugs. We did it with DS at 18 months, and to this day it was one of the hardest parenting things I did! It took about a month for things to settle down. He would scramble around his bed looking for it, seeming almost like a drug addict going through withdrawl - it was scary! But DH kept me strong (I almost went out and bought another one!). We did the cutting the tip, and he asked for "another bah" as he called it. We sat there with sad faces and said we didn't have one.
I will say, DS is almost 5, and he still naps, so it doesn't mean you have to give up the nap! You just might need to do more soothing for awhile.

Good luck!

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

I think I had it easy, but DD just recently gave hers up. She only used it at nap and nighttime, but she is 28 months. I wasn't really going to take it away anytime soon.

I put her to bed one night and about 20 minutes later she was calling out "mommy, mommy, paci broke!" So I walked in and she handed it to me in two pieces. (The nipple part broke off!) Now, I was glad that she didn't choke on it because wow, didn't think that would happen. So I told her "oh no, that was the last one" since it really was. She told me "go get a new one!" and I told her it was too late to go out. She called DH and told him how her orange paci broke. Then, she went to bed without. She is still telling people weeks later that her paci broke, but she is totally cool with it! Seems like explaining it to her worked fine for us but I know we somehow got lucky with this one!

[willow33]

We took it away on his 3rd birthday. He gave it my SIL who is pregnant and told her it was for the new baby. It was very cute! He still cried later that night and for about 3-4 days at both nap and bedtime. Then the crying stopped and he never looked back. I tried to take it away at 2, but caved and waited until age 3.

Hope it's an easy transition for you...hugs!!

[KrystalS]

I wanted to add that I didn't take DDs away until she was a couple of months past her 3rd bday. Theres no way I could have taken it away as young as 2, she was sooo attached to it. My DD never had any speech problems though.
Maybe you could just give it to your DD at nap and bedtime?

[Twoboos]

I should add too, it was a gradual thing before we got to the Paci Fairy. We did the bed/nap times only before the PF came. One morning I told DD that the paci was only for in her bed, and when she was done with it she could get out of her crib. (I got this tip from here, thank you BBB!) She hung out for a while, I did some stuff in her room, she took it out of her mouth and said OK. A couple of times she wanted to just sit in her crib and have it, which I let happen. But overall I was floored at how easy this "step" was.

Again good luck!!

[M&Mmom]

DD was extremely attached to her binky too. She had it in her mouth 24/7 until about 18months. Then I told her that binky stays in bed. She was still in the crib then so I would place it dead center of the crib so she couldn't reach through the slats and get it but she could see it. She had absolutely no problem with this adjustment. All my friends said she would freak out, we should hide it, etc but DD did just fine. After DS came (DD was 26 months) I decided to wait awhile before taking it away. I think she was close to 3 when we started talking about sending binky to "baby Josh" (my friends baby, out of state). A few weeks after talking about it we put it in an envelope and went to the post office and she mailed it. She was pretty upset for 1-2 days but still slept after we reminded her that we mailed it baby Josh. She would ask if baby Josh was done with it and could he send it back.:ROTFLMAO: She still asks periodically if baby Josh is done with her binky but we just say no, and she's a big girl now and doesn't need a binky anymore. I thought it would be really hard for DS to have one and not her but I made sure that he takes a different brand that looks significantly different so she has never tried to take his. Oh, and she took naps without issue for a long time after we got rid of binky. Now she doesn't but that is another story.

As for the speech therapy, I think it depends on her attachment. Does she NEED it or just WANT it. Also, if you limit it to sleep times only it shouldn't affect the speech. That's actually why I limited to binky stays in bed. My FIL is a dentist and he said that he doesn't worry about the binky affecting teeth until around 4-5 yrs. Thumb sucking is worse, because they have access to it 24/7 so if you are afraid she'll start to suck her thumb don't take the binky away.

HTH

[egoldber]

I can't think of anything that would make me take Amy's paci away. She sleeps bad enough as it is.....

[GlindaGoodWitch]

Wow. Thanks for all the responses. You guys are the BEST.

Last night I'm sure was an anomaly... Her dad reads to her every night before bed and so I told her she could have a (unharmed) binky after books and put it kind of out of her reach on the pillow where it blended in. She totally forgot about it and fell asleep without it. I checked in on her before she woke up this am and still no binky, but she found it by the time I went back to get her up.

So now is nap time & it's still on the bed but I can hear her grumping about which tells me she hasn't found it yet.

I've been telling her that binkies are for babies and she seems to get that concept as she has a little brother. And she has a few of those chewy tubes that I have thrown in the bed with her, but she isn't going for the switcharoo...

She's only had the bink for nighttime and naps for a very long time and I feel such relief after reading that so many of you let your DC hang onto it for awhile that I think I'm going to try a more weaning approach. (OT & her raised eyebrows can suck it.) Maybe a trade in kind of thing for a Dora doll if I can find one or the Thomas weighted blanket that I ordered a million years ago if it ever shows up.

Thank you again for all the responses. I was feeling like the meanest mommy on Earth yesterday. Today - not so much.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I can't think of anything that would make me take Amy's paci away. She sleeps bad enough as it is.....

LOL. Me too for DS. He's not a bad sleeper but the ability to plug his mouth is a godsend. :innocent: He has a meltdown hourly.

I keep saying when he's turns three but he's still nursing too. I use the paci to distract him from nursing. What do I do when they're both gone? I don't want to think about it....

[Mirthful]

... Thumb sucking is worse, because they have access to it 24/7 so if you are afraid she'll start to suck her thumb don't take the binky away.

HTH

This is what happened to us.

I think it depends on when your child is ready to give it up. I started weaning both DC right after their second birthdays. DD1 was really not ready and DD2 was and we got completely different results. We started what a pp said - in the crib only. We didn't take it out of the house, it couldn't come out if she was upset about something or tired, etc. Well, DD1 decided that she needed more control so, after 2+ years of using a pacifier, she started sucking her thumb. We didn't end up having to take them away at all - in fact, I know we still have 1 or 2 floating around.

For DD2, we did the same thing and she did really well. We also did the Paci Fairy thing and she did great - she wants to be just like her big sis and we got DD1 to stop thumbsucking around the same time. We talked it up for about a month before we took them away. I also smudged a TINY little bit of that bitter fingernail-biting/thumb-sucking stuff (Mavala Stop) on it the week before we took it away. (We told her it was the Paci Fairy's fingerprints on it - she came to measure the paci to see which baby she was going to pass it on to). =)-

So, I would try limiting the binky and see how she reacts before going cold turkey.

[catpagmo]

I read about this on another board (I think) and think it's a cute idea. You take DD/DS and the paci to Build-a-Bear, and place it inside one of the bears. Then DD/DS sleeps with it at night, so they still have the paci, and they can feel it, but they can't put it in their mouths. My DD still has her paci (in her crib only) and I have been talking up the paci fairy, too. I can't decide when to try to take it away.