Did you choose to SAH even after the dc are school-age?

[mamica]

It seems from the other post that most of the SAHMs here plan to return to work once dc are in school full-time. Is anyone planning to still SAH even when the dc are in school?

Or, any WOHMs planning to SAH once dc are in school?

[Laurel]

I would love to and be the classroom mom, etc., but I'm pretty sure we'll need the extra income.

I do have two friends who don't plan to go back to work. I'm curious to see how that works out for them, stimulation-wise.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am not sure. Th elonger I am out of the workforce the harder it is for me to want to work for someone else or for someone else's interests. I've gotten to be pretty independent and self sufficient. I have specific ideas about how I like to do things.

Right now I have a 9m old and a 6.5yo. I am mostly filling my time and staying stimulated by being the super volunteer at school. I am enjoying it so far. When ds2 gets older I will have to do something more though,I think.

Beth

[kijip]

I think I would be more suited to staying at home when my kids were at least preschool age and above. Ironically enough, I'd considered it before I realized #2 was on the way since T is in school. While I could choose to work less now, or even take a few years off entirely now, I am most comfortable with my choice to work full-time now. It's a flexible position, which helps tremendously. I am not sure that I will quit working in a few years when # 2 is 4 or so, but it's a real and perhaps strong possibility. Staying home full time with an older infant or toddler is not really a possibility for me- I'll just say it's not my cup of tea, nor a good solution for my family. Like with T, infant and toddler care during the day will be split between my husband and me with some assistance from my Dad, and then they will go to preschool for a couple of years before Kindergarten. I can take baby with me to work if I like (for me that depends on baby disposition- it was fine with T but I figure lightening does not strike twice in the same family, LOL). Even though I work full-time, I am the room parent at T's elementary school and can volunteer in his class 1 afternoon a week. If I was not working a mix of day, night and weekend hours from home, office and just out in the community I likely would find a part-time grant writing job and quit full-time. I like being home in the late afternoons and early evenings, something that I would not have if I worked a more demanding hours wise position. Sorry to ramble, it's an interesting question. The advantage I see to being home when the kids are older is being very on top of their educational opportunities and keeping up at their school. So maybe when T is 9 and baby is 4. Who knows? :) Late elementary and middle school was a hard time for me...I'd like to be able to be very available to my kids at that age. Also, I am in the position that while now my salary is adding considerably to our assets and savings (in plenty of time for compounding interest to work its magic- I am under 30) and allowing us to get done with schooling without debt loads, in a few years my husband's income potential will roughly double our income even if I did no writing or other work at all. So I could stay home now and pay for it later in terms of paying off student loans and trying to catch up retirement savings or work now and be in a very strong financial position- maintaining no debt, considerable long-term savings and retirement, when I am a bit older. We have thought about it considerably and we plan to live roughly as we do now even when our income is much higher. We have been very lucky $$ wise, mostly due to things totally out of our own control so a lot of this is colored by choices that I know many others don't have. Another factor is I could stay on a couple of boards, do some writing or consulting work while my kids were still in school and in my profession it is still a very real possibility to jump back in and advance once I am close to an empty nest. A lot of fields don't have that ability- gone 5 years and you are pretty much gone.

[KpbS]

I am curious to see other's replies as well. I was just talking about this in a roundabout way w/ DH the other day. I was explaining (or trying to) just what it is like to spend SO much time at home everyday, day after day. And while of course there are challenges to every day they usually aren't intellectual challenges. Not to mention the lack of adult conversation/interaction.

I hope to be fairly involved in something whether it is a serious volunteer commitment or a very part-time job once my DC are in school. But I doubt I'll return to my previous career for a variety of reasons--that is unless it is necessary financially. And I have been considering homeschooling lately--taking on a new job in a familiar workplace ;)

[fivi2]

I am one of those who said in the other thread they'd probably do something part time. But, if it is possible, I would like to stay home once the kids are in school. From talking to friends (irl and on-line) once the kids are in school, you really aren't just sitting at home all day. They volunteer at school, do housework, errands, etc, take the kids to various practices and events. The school day and year don't really match up with most people's work schedules. And once kids hit middle school and beyond, many of the after school programs aren't available (day cares and such). And, for me, that was the age when I started getting into trouble and probably needed a parent at home.

If it starts to get boring, most organizations would welcome the volunteer help! So, if I can, I will try to continue to stay home, but it is hard to plan for that now!

[belovedgandp]

I used to think I would go back to work when the kids were in school. That was the plan DH and I had when we were plotting things 5+ years ago when I was first pregnant. But I'm leaning towards not working or at most part time.

Some factors for me:
1 - I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. My BS is engineering and I have an MBA. While I've had some great jobs, I've never loved what I did. Plus I could not jump back into the same positions after being out the 4 1/2 years I have been much less add another 3 or 4 from now.

2 - I like the quality family time I can create. DH likes the home life me staying home allows. We do family activities and projects on weekends instead of cleaning the house and running errands.

3 - My mom worked PT and was home after school until I was a junior in high school. I loved having her there right after school. I want to be there to hear what happened each day in school.

4 - We were a little older before having kids and were super saves when on a dual income, so our finances are in relatively good shape. We socked retirement money away early. The only debt we've had for over 5 years now is our mortgage. While I'm sure we could find uses for the money, it's not a necessity. So far DH loves what he does, so he's not on the hunt for a pay cutting career change or feeling a need to retire at 50, and we're on track for all our financial goals with only one income.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. A few of my friends have their youngest in all day K this year and it's a little strange talking to them about what the next step will be.

[egoldber]

My plan was to go back to work when Amy starts all day school. But now I don't know. I think Sarah needs me more now that she in school than she did when she was small. And I like being at the school and helping out at the school.

I also am not sure what I want to do. I have zero desire to go back to what I was doing and the thought of getting another degree right now exhausts me.

Also DH has an atrocious travel schedule and working would put a lot of extra burden on me that he would not share. So I am concerned about that as well.

[salsah]

i might not. i won't know until the time comes. i can keep myself busy with other things (volunteering / classes / hobbies etc.) so if i don't need the money, then i'll cont. to sah. if i do work then i need to deal with care for the kids during the summer or when they are sick and can not go to school. right now, i like the idea of going back to work and i like to think that will. but in reality, it may not be worth the extra stress. it may be best for me to stay home.

[bubbaray]

I had a 1 year paid maternity leave with each girl, after which I returned to WOTH FT. However, I am open to reducing my hours or altering my schedule such that I could be at home when the girls are home from school. I'm particularly interested in being home when they get home from school when they are pre-teens and maybe not so interested in going to daycare.

[pinkmomagain]

My oldest is in middle school and my middle is in elementary school. Youngest just started preschool. For me, it is EXTREMELY important to be home for them at this time in there lives. Especially dd in MS. I can't begin to tell you the nonsense that goes on in MS....particularly socially with the girls. I am happy to be here when my girls get off the bus to:
- listen to their day (good and bad)
- see who their friends are...and their families
- help with homework
- driving them to extra activities and playdates...and REALLY know exactly where they are and who they are with
- make good homemade dinners every night for my family

And I know that they LOVE having me here. Any talk of me going back to work and they strongly object!

[MelissaTC]

My DS is in 1st grade. I SAH. I am very busy and quite "stimulated". I am a co-chairperson of a PSO (parent school organization) committee, volunteer regularly in the classroom and in the school in general, meet with my book club, do things with friends, active in a mother's group from church, volunteer through my MOMS Club, etc...

[JTsMom]

Ideally, I would like to start some little home based business at that point- kind of a best of both worlds, for us. I definitely want to have the flexibility to do school related stuff, and I want to be at home when DC come home, but the extra income would really help, and I think I would enjoy the work as well. I've dabbled a little with ebay already, but it's too stressful to do the way I'd like to do it with DS at home.

I really love being at home, and DH loves me being here as well, so if we can manage it, that is definitely my preference.

We'll see- it's still a long way into the future for me.

[elephantmeg]

I'm part time (roughly 3 days/wk, some weekends) and had always thought I would go back to full time when the kids were in school. While I might go to 4 days a week, I don't think I'll ever go back to 5 days/week.

[Asianmommy]

If we needed the money, I'd go back to work. If we could get by, I'd prefer to be home with the girls when they get home from school, to help them with homework, get to know their friends and teachers, and shuttle them to their various activities.

[JBaxter]

I will NOT be returning ot work. When Logan and Connor were small I had to work and I can tell you it is SO nice to be home when they get off the bus. have a day off school , get sick at school have a party forget a book have a field trip need volunteers etc.

IMO its is just as important to keep track of you child in middle school/ high school as it is for your preschoolers. I know several of Logan and Connors friends who go to theri girlfriends house after school for an hour ( or 2) before the parents get home.

I worked for 17 yrs total and unless something drastic happens am not going back to work.

[mecawa]

I think if I go back I will only go back part time. I would go back full time if we needed the money of course, but would prefer to be home or only work part time for basically the same exact reasons as the pp.

[lizajane]

one is in school and the other will be in two years. i do not intend to WOTH when they are both in school.

i started my own home based business and i hope to expand it when they are both in school for a full day. that said, i still intend to make them my first "work" priority (we all make our kids the first priority! WOTH or not!) and my clothing line my second work priority. so i will schedule working hours around the time that they are not at home, not schedule extra child care around my working hours.

in only a few short weeks, i have noticed an enormous change in our lives having my oldest in school full time. 1st- he is a high needs, high energy kid and being the best parent i can be to him is extremely draining and exhausting. so being able to focus on him in the afternoon is a really big deal for him and for me. i would not want to take that from him in only two years (when dylan is in K.) 2nd- my younger child is a whole different person when he is not competing for attention from his brother. so being at home in the early afternoons with him is a totally different ballgame from being home in the early afternoons with them both.

after i shake this cold and finish playing in the sewing room in preparation for an upcoming (mini) event at which i am selling, i plan to spend a LOT of time organizing and making our home more conducive to relaxation. this is important for me, of course! but mostly for DH and for DS1 who find great stress in chaos. maintaining a new found sense of calm will take effort and i do not see that i could keep that focus while working OTH full or part time anytime soon.

i am not bored at home. we go out a lot, have friends over a lot, and i actually really like painting and gluing and playing outside AND organzing, cleaning and finding great deals, cooking, etc. i also hope to spend more time in each DS's classroom.

[lablover]

I have worked 3 days/week since DS was 3 months old. Thought that I would quit when DD was born, but then worried about giving up my part-time job that I wouldn't be able to get back (I converted to part-time when DS was born and they do not hire part-time anymore). So far it's been a great balance for me. But, I've seriously been considering quitting when DS goes to K next year and DD goes to preschool. K is still half day here and our elementary school gets out at 2:30 and we are a five minute walk away. I would have to leave work at 2:00 and it's just not conducive to working in the corporate world. Plus DD will be going to a preschool and with her having food allergies it limits the after care that I would feel comfortable with. Plus I don't know that I'm up for juggling school breaks, summers and after school activities. So I'm thinking up quitting and maybe getting an even more part-time job (10-15 hrs) working from home. Though I am worried that I'll miss the socialization from the working environment.

[Ceepa]

Tough question. When I was in elementary school my mom was home for the first few years and it was nice to have her around. Then my mom went back to work full-time and it was fine.

OTOH, my MIL never worked even after DH and siblings went to work. The problem is she made a life out of being a SAHM but once the kids were old enough and even after they all moved away she had nothing to fall back on personally. Unfortunately she still tries to define her life through other people rather than have her own identity. I worked even after baby #1 was born and finally became a SAHM after baby#2. I plan to go back to work PT after the youngest is in school full-time.

[pb&j]

I currently WOTH full time, but would like to be on a more reduced schedule (30 hrs/wk or less) when the kids are in school. My mom worked 2 days/wk when I was growing up, and I think it was great that she was able to do things like volunteer in our classroom, and generally be around when we got home from school. I think as the kids get older it's even more important to be around during those afterschool hours. Not to mention that I certainly anticipate them being involved in sports and other extracurriculars - I don't want to miss any games! :) Plus, it was nice that in the summers we didn't have to go to camp every day - we had a lot of unstructured time just hanging out at the pool with mom.

But I definitely don't want to give up WOTH entirely. I just want to cut back.

[jd11365]

I'm fortunate that I'm a teacher. I plan to go back to work FT when the kids are both in school and teach right there with them. I also plan to teach at the middle school when that time comes for the reasons stated above. It's so important to be in their lives as much as possible during those crazy years and I plan to be right there...at their school! ;)

[deborah_r]

Strangely enough, I was totally comfortable leaving DS1 at our daycare/preschool all day, but now that he is in Kindergarten, I hate the idea of any after-school programs and desperately want to be there for him when he is done with school. It seems crazy to me that I am *now* considering reducing my schedule, now that my son is in K. I thought things would get easier, not harder!

[lizajane]

Tough question. When I was in elementary school my mom was home for the first few years and it was nice to have her around. Then my mom went back to work full-time and it was fine.

OTOH, my MIL never worked even after DH and siblings went to work. The problem is she made a life out of being a SAHM but once the kids were old enough and even after they all moved away she had nothing to fall back on personally. Unfortunately she still tries to define her life through other people rather than have her own identity. I worked even after baby #1 was born and finally became a SAHM after baby#2. I plan to go back to work PT after the youngest is in school full-time.

excellent point. my MIL is a great example of a successful SAHM who maintained her own identity. she stayed home for a few years and then went back to teaching, so while she did not SAH the entire time the kids were young, she did had a schedule that permitted her to be home when they were. but she also had a home business, a strong, small group of best friends with whom she made frequent plans, a large group of other friends with whom she did activities, a church community, and crafting at home. now, semi-retired, she does a lot of crafting, taking classes like knitting and cake decorating, volunteers (tutoring, for example) in her community, makes time for helping us! and still does a lot of things with those same friends. she is a great example of how to make it all work for YOU and thus, for your family.

[npace19147]

We plan for me to SAH for the foreseeable future. Already my kids have a pretty busy schedule and I don't see it changing anytime soon. I want to be involved and know what is going on in their lives.

Part of it is that I've never had a job I really loved, so since we don't *need* the $$ this makes the most sense. I do think it is good for the girls for me to be here, even though MS and HS. What I wonder about is what I do after that. If I SAH that entire time, that means I'll have been out of the workforce for almost 20 years (yikes!). Then what?

I like hearing Liza about her MIL who kept active.

[C99]

I don't think I'll ever go back to work full-time.

[MontrealMum]

I very much agree with Deb on this. I'm fine with our situation now, with DS in daycare, but I'm not sure how things will work out, and how we'll all manage as a family when he's too old for that. Maybe some of this comes from my lack of knowledge about aftercare, day camps etc., but I might consider going part-time when he's a little older. It's not something I thought about much because my own mother was a teacher, and was therefore on the same schedule that I was. Luckily, I am also in a field where this is a possibility, and has the potential to follow the school year schedule.

[cchavez]

I definitely want to be there for my kids so I plan on working very part time when they are both in school FT. And although, DH makes a great living and we are not big spenders....I think it is important to keep up my skills so that I can find FT employment if needed...which really should not be a problem since I am an SLP and also have bilingual skills. I have been a SAHM for over 5 years and I recently returned to work 2 Saturdays a month...:) I also cover for the SLP/owner when she has conferences to attend. Even thought it does not sounds like much 2 days a month.....the clients we see are intense plus my son has sensory issue so I do alot for him....home therapies, taking him to therapies, special diet, biomed, etc. So I do have a lot on my plate now but I am glad that I can get my feet wet again by joining the workforce b/c I think it is important for my kids to see that I have a career, for me to have something to fall back on financially and intellectually b/c book clubs, PTA, etc do not provide the same kind of stimulation. We went by the speech clinic today and there was a very involved boy there and he as verbal stimming and my son, said "Momma why doesn't he talk like me?" I said "He comes here to learn to talk." I think that is great my kids will have that picture of what I do can be very profound and impact a child's life greatly.