I KNEW I was not ready to send my DS to school!

[MMEand1]

***Update in post #4***



So I get home from work today and my DH leaves to go hunting. I go upstairs to take off my boots and my DS comes into my room to chat. The first thing I notice is that his face has dirt streaks from the right temple of his face to the bottom of his jaw. Then I see a big knot on his forehead. I told him to go get a washcloth so we could was his face. As he turned to leave, I noticed that his shirt was ripped. He was wearing a button down shirt with a pocket and the top right side of the pocket was ripped through the pocket and shirt, leaving a huge hole in his shirt.

I asked him what happened and he told me that a little girl was chasing after him and then grabbed his leg and pulled him down. He said he hit his head on the dirt and rocks on the playground. I saw our neighbor standing outside and talked to her about it and she said that twice her DD has been hurt at school including a cut on her face by her eye and a bruise on her stomach when someone pushed her down.

Later on, my DS told me the name of a different little girl and said that he changed his mind about who pushed him. Later on, he told me that he did not remember who did it.

I really don't care who did it at this point. The thing that upsets me the most is that there is obviously not enough supervision out on the playground with these children. My son said that his teacher was not out there with him. I am also upset at the fact that my DS was dirty and had a big knot on his head with a ripped shirt and apparently NO ONE at his school noticed or cared. He said that this happened before lunch, so how many people came into contact with my DS during the day and did not say anything about it?

Honestly, I am quite upset at this. Combined with the fact that I sent a note with my DS to school yesterday in the folders that are "Supposed" to be the way we communicate with the teacher and he came home with the note still in his folder. Why is that touted as the best way to "communicate with your child's teacher" if they don't even look at it??? UGH!!!!

Thanks for reading my vent/rant about this.

Mariah P.

[ha98ed14]

Wow. That is pretty unbelievable. I am guessing your DS is in K. Just to give you a little perspective, my DH is a teacher, 4th grade, so the kids are 9 turning 10. If there is any incident where a child sustains an injury like what you are describing, the child has the option to go to the principal's office and call their parent if they want. Even if they didn't want to call their mom, the teacher or principal calls after school.

As for communicating with the teacher, "folders" are a nice token but in reality if you want to communicate with the teacher, you should call the office and leave a message. Then there is a record of your call and the teacher is more likely to respond quickly. Notes in folders are just too easily missed or lost. I would bring this to your DS's teacher's attention, and let her know you are upset. The squeaky wheel get the grease. For good or ill, the kids who are looked out for and monitored are the ones with parents who make their presence known.

[randomkid]

That is inexcusable! Whenever there is any type of incident, a parent should be called immediately and an incident report filled out. DD just started preK3 and was hit on the arm by a boy in her class. He hit her with a plastic dinosaur. The spot was so small, I couldn't see it when I took the band-aid off. A couple of days later there was a tiny little bruise. The teacher called me and said she would be filling out an incident report and sending a note home to the boy's parents. BTW, the school is not allowed to identify the child. However, DD is old enough to tell me who did it.

Something like your DS experienced should never happen if the kids are being supervised as they should be. If something does happen, you should receive a call immediately. I would definitely be speaking to the director and likely looking for another school. I have a friend whose DD always came home with knots on her head and no one knew what happened. She moved her to a new school this year and her DH picked up their DD one day. She was in a computer class and they took him to her. He told my friend "They knew right where she was and she's not coming home with knots on her head all the time!" I actually helped convince her to move her DD and helped her find a new place.

I know it hard, but I'm not so sure that you aren't ready to send DS to school. I think your DS's school needs some work or you need another place.

So sorry this happened. Definitely address it with the teacher and the director, but sounds like an ongoing problem there.

ETA: I didn't consider that your DS might be in K, not preK. If that's the case, I agree with PP about being a squeaky wheel.

[MMEand1]

Thanks for the reply's. I called the school and the teacher was out, as well as the Principal and Asst. Principal. I have an appointment set up with the Asst. Principal for Monday.

As I was heading back to work after lunch, I drove by the school (it's on my way) and saw a bunch of kids playing. I slowed down and was able to see my DS out there (recognized his clothes). I then scanned the playground for any adults that might be out there monitoring the kids. I found 3 adults all huddled together up against a building about 100 yards away from the kids!! How could they get to an injured child being that far away!

My DH grilled my DS a little bit more and was told another story that sounds a little more plausible. My DS told him that he was running around being chased and got up on one of those playgyms (with the slide and monkey bars, etc) and was hanging when a girl came up and pulled his legs to make him fall off. He fell and that is when he hit his head and got a dirty face. My DH asked him if that was when his shirt got ripped (when he fell). My DS told him no, that after the girl pulled him off, they were playing "stretch" with him since he was still trying to get away. My DH asked him what "stretch" was and my DS told him that the kids were pulling his arms in different directions and then another kid came up and started pulling on his shirt and that was when it ripped.

I talked to a few other parents that have kids in K at the school and two more have had kids come home with bruises and cuts, so this sounds like my DS' was not an isolated incident. I am going to get more parents to come up there with me on Monday...strength in numbers!

[maestramommy]

Good grief, that sounds likes something that doesn't happen in IRL! I'm rather appalled, not that it happened, but that you had to find out when your DS came home looking the way he did.

I would definitely get other parents to go with you if possible. Keep us updated.

[gatorsmom]

That is nuts! It doesn't sound like the supervising adults even knew that your son fell and hurt his head! Good thing the bump on his head wasn't more serious or that might have gone unnoticed too. At what point do the "supervising adults" get involved- when there is a fist fight?

They should have called you. I'd be livid. Hope you get some reasonable answers on Monday.

[lorinick]

That's crazy. You should have been called. Call and talk to the teacher. Boy my son school nurse calls and send home notes for everything. And I mean everything. My son has gotten hurt many times where he hit his head. I've gotten calls at work with the info and that he's doing fine. A note always comes home about watching for signs of a head injury. Always minor things. His never been hurt badly.

[WatchingThemGrow]

When I first read your post, my thought was that the teacher was out sick. Any teacher who says the folder is the primary way of communicating will almost ALWAYS go through the batch of folders during the day. It is time-consuming but very valuable. When that doesn't happen, just assume it was a sub or a field trip or something else big.

Often, esp. at the beg. of the year, teacher assistants who are usually the playground attendants are trying to get to know the kids and the other adults they are working with. Often, they (esp. the new ones- high turnover) benefit from a refresher about playground safety. I'd go in with that suggestion or to find out what the playground rules are and how they are taught/enforced with the children.

[ThreeofUs]

I'm sorry, but my first thought was "You must be kidding." This sounds totally unacceptable - from the supervision, to the rough play (that sounds like it could result in a paralyzed kid), to the lack of any attention paid by the school to a head injury.

I'd talk to other parents and then have a long, serious talk with the teacher and principal.

You must be so worried and upset - I'm sorry you and your DS are going through this.

[mamicka]

Mariah,

Your post makes me so upset on your behalf. I'm so sorry. I think what's happening at your school is completely unacceptable. If I were you I'd drop in unannounced at various times throughout the day just to keep them on their toes. Kids shouldn't be subject to this kind of "play" anywhere, let alone school. We send them to school because its good for them, right? This treatment (by the kids or adults) isn't good for kids. Stretch? Ripped clothing? Dirty all day long? WTH is wrong with people?

[Melanie]

Oh my goodness! This sounds terrible. Good for you for setting up a meeting so quickly.

[kransden]

Squeaky wheels get the grease. let them know you will not tolerate that sort of behavior. The staff sounds like they are not doing their job, but to be fair the teacher could have been addressing another issue at the time. In the time I was helping a child with a cut, another boy was pushed down, jumped on and kicked in the behind. I didn't even have time to blow my whistle!