Didn't get his picture taken! WWYD?

[dhano923]

Today was picture day at school. They sent home flyers with attached envelopes earlier in the week. I put a check in the envelope and put it in DS's folder, which goes back and forth between teachers and us. (They tell us to put all returned homework in the folder, and in turn, that's where the teacher sends homework, flyers, newsletters, etc.) I told DS that I was putting the envelope in the folder too. When I dropped DS off, his teacher asked me to wait a minute to schedule a routine conference. DD was crying and I was rushing to get her out of the classroom as she was disrupting the story time with the TA. It slipped my mind to tell her his envelope was in his folder but I figured she would see it since they check the folders every day.

Fast forward to this evening. I asked DS how picture time went and he says "they didn't take my picture because I didn't have an envelope". I was like WHAT???? He repeated himself and said the same thing. DH runs out to the car, checks the folder, and the envelope is still in the pocket, right where I put it.

I am really upset about this. :irked: DS was dressed up, with an envelope with a check inside. There was no reason he shouldn't have had his picture taken. I can't figure out why, even if I forgot to tell them he brought an envelope, why they wouldn't check the folder.

I plan on talking to the teacher about this as it's really bothering me, but I'm not sure how to approach it. I'm afraid of saying too much, so to speak, but I am not happy about this at all. DS isn't even 5 yet, so I can't imagine them relying on the children to remember about the envelopes. Do most schools do a makeup day? My son was upset when he told me he didn't get his picture taken. I can't imagine how he must have felt if he was the only child who didn't get it done!



Edited to add: I don't know if he was included in the class picture. He just got sad and said they didn't take his picture because he didn't have an envelope. I'm annoyed because I can't imagine them expecting the 4-5 year olds to remember to hand over an envelope. The TA normally takes the kid's folders out of their backpacks and puts them back in. The kids don't do it themselves. Not to mention he was dressed up -- why would I dress him up if he wasn't going to do pictures? This is a private school and I'm assuming they will do makeups but I wasn't sure if that was the norm or not.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Don't worry about it. There are always make-up days when many kids get retakes. Just be sure he's there on that day.

As for the folder, my thought (from being a K teacher) is that maybe he didn't get his folder out of his backpack and put it in the right place - like in a box on the teacher's desk? Granted, they should do "one more request" for missing folders, or go looking for it in his backpack if they are expecting something like a picture money envelope, but picture days/schedules are crazy. They often schedule classes to come like 10 min. after the school day begins. Things like this happen, although I can see why you're upset.

As for approaching the situation, I'd just call or email or write a note in the folder. The teacher shouldn't have been scheduling routine conferences in person while the kids are seated and listening to a story. That can totally be done through a folder. K is a hectic place - with 4-6 y.o.'s, report cards, conferences, pictures, and all the other events/concerns. I'd go easy on the teacher and realize she's human. I'm sure she'll feel bad when she realizes what happened. Maybe a nice "Oh, ___'s picture money folder was still in his folder when he got home. Did he get his picture taken?" would allow her a chance to explain without feeling accused, kwim?

[alexsmommy]

I agree, in our district there is a make up day. Still, I am surprised his pic wasn't taken for the class pic. The company that does ours will still take a pic of every child who is present that day for the school pic. Strange.

[Mamma2004]

I would be terribly upset, esp. for DS. I would defintely approach the teacher, trying to remain as tactful and nonconfrontational as possible. I agree with PP that you could open the discussion with a puzzled "I saw that the picture money envelope was still in DS's folder after school."

Let us know how it works out. I certainly hope your DS gets his picture taken!

[WatchingThemGrow]

I also think it is pretty likely he didn't get excluded from the class picture. Now that I think about it, there are 2 other things to consider... 1)They always take everyone's picture, even if you don't buy them. Then they will have a record of the child for the yearbook and for the child's permanent record folder the office keeps. 2) Do you think that just maybe since he didn't "see" the finished picture, he didn't think that sitting down on a stool and smiling was "getting his picture taken?"

Many of the school photography companies make you pay for the class picture in advance, but they send the individual pictures home for you to decide if you want to buy them. For the class picture, they sometimes have a few more on hand after they come back so that you can buy them if you forgot to pay - but only usually one or two per class.

[kransden]

The teacher should have checked his folder. That is what I would have done. What I find that is very strange is that they didn't take a picture for the class. They will have a makeup day though. Call the school to find out when.

[bubbaray]

Personally, I would call the principal and complain about the teacher. What else is s/he missing by not checking the folder?!

If he didn't get to participate in the class picture becuase of the teacher's screw up, I would seriously rip him/her a new one. I would be livid.

[thomma]

Hmmm...in my school every child gets their picture taken. Then proofs go home a week later. Money is due when proofs are returned a week after that. All students are included in the class picture. There is always a make up/ retake day.

IMHO Kindergarten teachers should be checking folders. I have second graders that need reminders to check folders.

I'd talk to the teacher first. Then if you're still unhappy, discuss the issue with the principal. I know our principal/my boss hasn't a clue about class pictures...she leaves all of that to the secretaries. :)

good luck-
Kim
ds&dd 5/03

[new_mommy25]

I would be so upset. I think the teacher should have checked the folder for sure but accidents do happen. I hope your son gets a retake. :hug:

[kijip]

I'd be upset. I don't think communication folders do a lick of good if the stuff in the return to school section does not get sought out by the teachers. T's teacher prompts the kids to take their folders out each morning so they can take out the stuff from home and put in the home bound stuff. Mistakes can happen but it sounds like the other kids got their money in somehow---age 4 and 5 is aq bit young to march in and remember "hand teacher money" without being reminded in some way.

[lisams]

Personally, I would call the principal and complain about the teacher. What else is s/he missing by not checking the folder?!

If he didn't get to participate in the class picture becuase of the teacher's screw up, I would seriously rip him/her a new one. I would be livid.

I disagree. I think she should approach the teacher first. Then if you feel it was something worthy of going to the principal about, then I would do that. It's likely the principal will ask if she has contacted the teacher about the situation.

[mdb78]

I disagree. I think she should approach the teacher first. Then if you feel it was something worthy of going to the principal about, then I would do that. It's likely the principal will ask if she has contacted the teacher about the situation.

I agree with ^.

They usually have a make up day for individual pictures. Not sure about the class picture though. Was it only the individual picture that he didn't take?

If they did a class picture, then everyone in the class is in the picture regardless if they paid or not. It does not make sense to have him sit out of a class picture. If they do that now because of no payment, that is just wrong.

[ZeeBaby]

I always thought all the kids took the pictures and had to pay after, but I guess we do things differently here.

[Globetrotter]

Not to worry... there is always a makeup day.

However, just tell the teacher what happened so she will be more careful in the future. It should be fairly obvious with five years olds :shake: that you have to check the folders. Mine is fairly clueless :)

We have the same picture policy, but frankly they are terrible so I just buy a small package for a keepsake.

[bubbaray]

I disagree. I think she should approach the teacher first. Then if you feel it was something worthy of going to the principal about, then I would do that. It's likely the principal will ask if she has contacted the teacher about the situation.

All the teacher is going to do is say that she did check the folder and it wasn't there -- ie, lie and cover her butt. That is why I would skip that step all together and go directly to the principal. Of course, where I live, teachers all belong to a strong union and are slackers.... I can't imagine any of the many teachers I know IRL checking folders, even if it was school policy. I know many elementary teachers and all they do is complain about how much they hate their jobs....

Homeschooling looks better by the minute, frankly.

Seriously, though, if the OPs son wasn't included in the class photo, that is an entirely different issue than the teacher being too lazy to check his backpack/folder for payment for his individual photos. Its almost as though he was being singled out and punished for not participating in the individual photos. However, its not clear from my read of the thread that this in fact happened. I'm just sayin', if that's the case, I would be beyond furious.

[MamaKath]

I would talk to the teacher. Mistakes do happen, especially when the routine is changed.

Picture week was this week in our class. I know in my classroom there are multiple reminders to take out the folder, take the things out, etc from both myself and my aide. Every kid who was there had their picture taken (ETA- this happened if they ordered or not, it is for the yearbook). I checked every folder and the (substitute) aide did also. The next day, we still got an envelope with a note that we had missed it. We checked with the office, found out how they could still order pictures (online), and sent that information with the envelope home.

Most schools also have a make-up day.

[CocoaSashimi]

Maybe a nice "Oh, ___'s picture money folder was still in his folder when he got home. Did he get his picture taken?" would allow her a chance to explain without feeling accused, kwim?

This is a great non-confrontational way to address this issue. Like another person said, she is human, and mistakes do happen. You are justified in your irritation, but you also to have to bear in mind that you're going to be working with this woman for the rest of the school year.

I would not suggest contacting the principal if you haven't already contacted the teacher. Most principals will ask the parent if she's spoken with the teacher prior to contacting them. I doubt the teacher is going to lie to you to cover her butt as one poster suggested. Going to the teacher first also shows the principal that you were willing to work the issue out with the teacher before needing him or her to intervene and gives you more credibility.


I know many elementary teachers and all they do is complain about how much they hate their jobs....

That's probably because of people like you.

[lisams]

All the teacher is going to do is say that she did check the folder and it wasn't there -- ie, lie and cover her butt. That is why I would skip that step all together and go directly to the principal. Of course, where I live, teachers all belong to a strong union and are slackers.... I can't imagine any of the many teachers I know IRL checking folders, even if it was school policy. I know many elementary teachers and all they do is complain about how much they hate their jobs....

Homeschooling looks better by the minute, frankly.

.

I get that you think teachers are, in general, slackers, liers, complainers, and really hate their job (or at least that's what I'm getting from your post). I'm sorry you feel this way. But, I do think that no matter how you feel about teachers, if they are going to be working with your child day in and day out for an entire school year that a parent should attempt to work *with* the teacher (and the other way around of course!). Skipping even talking to the teacher and going straight to the principal seems like you're not even looking for a solution.

I remember giving many children lunch money (out of my pocket) because their parents forgot. I didn't want them to get the free "I forgot my money" lunch because to a kid it's a big deal. Could you imagine if I called CPS and "ripped the parent a new one" for what of course was a mistake?

[gatorsmom]

Oh, I'd be upset too. It sounds like our schools are similar. Gator, who is 5 but in pre-k, was told about 2 weeks ago to bring the money in his envelope for pictures and to put it in the communication folder. The latest they said we could have it in to school was the day of pictures. We were told the class would have their picture together even if parents opted not to purchase a package. If we didn't like the package, we could have the pictures redone on make-up day and we just might have to do that since Gator cut his lip the day before pictures. I'm curious to see how noticeable it is in the picture! I'm sure this is the case for your son.

I've noticed our communication folder isn't always retrieved from the backpacks, either. Then last Thursday I volunteered in Gator's class for the morning. Now i understand why. It's rather chaotic in the classroom and I'm hoping it is due to getting routines established there. There is no way the teacher or the main aid would have had time to check the folders. There was just no time. I may have to start my own thread about this.

[hez]

DS was almost in the same boat. I happened (thank goodness) to be the parent helper that day, and his teacher asked me if he'd brought an envelope as she was gathering them all up. It had fallen out of his folder and we found it in his backpack. She then thought to check other backpacks for envelopes that might have gone astray. A few had.

I've found several things that I've sent in that have come back home-- including his library book on Thursday. If it's important that the teacher know about it, I email her to tell her. If he'd come home with his picture envelope, I'd have emailed her to ask if he'd gotten his picture taken or not, and to make sure she knew for makeup day that I fully intended for him to have his picture taken.

We do have a makeup day-- my friends with kids in other districts have them, too. Hopefully you'll have one, and all will go smoothly for your DS that day.