safety net for sahms

[salsah]

dh and i have been reviewing our finances lately (given the current economic situation) and it reminded me of a concern of mine that i try to ignore so that i won't stress too much. i have nearly no money of my own (not shared w/dh). i have no income of my own. i have been a sahm long enough that i am no longer marketable. it isn't a big deal if one day i choose to go back to work (as a choice, not out of necessity) because in that scenario, i will have the time to do what i need to make myself marketable again and work my way up again. however i stress over the possibility that one day i may need to work -- especially if i have to solely support my family. aside from going back to work now, is there something that i can do now -- just in case? i feel as if though i am just setting myself up for a big fall w/o a safety net. is there a safety net for sahms?
do other sahms have the same concern or do i just worry too much?

[Tondi G]

I've definetly thought about it. I try not to focus on it too much but it is something that is on my mind. No advise.... just wanted you to know you are not alone in your thinking!

[clc053103]

I am not sure which way you are looking at it, so I'll share my thoughts on both scenarios.

If tragedy were to strike and I were a single mother, I am well protected- plenty of life insurance on DH to pay off house and support us most likely through the college years.

However, in the other scenario, I guess I'm not well prepared. I have no personal bank account, though I do hold many of the credit cards in my own name and have well established credit. And I just left the workforce- worked part time for DS's first three years of life.

I remember meeting a woman at work who returned to the workforce after 15 years- she said she was inspired because a friend of hers was left high and dry by her husband (for another woman, no less) and she had nothing- no bank account. gave up her career to raise their kids. She didn't want that happening to her- fast forward 5 years, and yep, her husband left her for his secretary!!!! So I guess she was smart to plan for the worst!!!!

I worked part time in my field for DS's early years, and I fully intend to go back to work in some capacity once he hits first grade. So, I guess I feel since it's only a few years, I will hope for the best.

So- no, I have no safety net!

[StantonHyde]

There are things you can do now. One is to make sure your DH has good life insurance. The second is to examine what would be needed to make you marketable. Do you have a college or advanced degree? If not, get one. One scenario: you could get into a community college radiology program to be an xray tech (takes 6 mos or so). Then work PRN 2x a month. That puts you in the loop and establishes a track record. If you needed to, you could go back to school to get advanced training or go to nursing school. (and depending on what you do, the hospital would pay all or part of your education)

I realize healthcare may not be your thing, but right now it is a sure bet for a job and it is very flexible--great for moms.

If you can't do that--then volunteer--find something that uses your skils and keeps you connected to the work world. Keep taking computer classes, for example. Use your computer skills to do something for your childrens' schools or a non profit etc.

I work PT in a large university setting. I would have to ramp up if my husband left me, but I wouldn't be starting from zero.

[almostamom]

I am an elementary school teacher on a leave of absence. If I need to go back to work prior to my LOA ending, I will be at the same level at which I left and retain my seniority. I am not scheduled to return to work until DS is in kindergarten. That's my safety net, but to be honest, it's not enough money to support DS and myself in our current home if we were ever to get divorced. We each have enough life insurance that our home would be paid off and there would be some left over if either of us passed away. I've never made a lot of money as a teacher, but I've always had great job security.

[mamaoftwins]

You're not alone. I agree with PPs. Make sure you have good life and disability insurance for DH. We have both, and if something happened to him, we would get enough so that I would not have to go back to work, if I did not want to.

Do you have a financial advisor? I highly recommend it - you can share your concerns with them, and they will help you get the right insurances, etc., to cover you in case something happens to DH. Also, make sure you know where your money goes - my SIL got burned when her husband left her and she had no idea where the money was going or how he was spending it. I am NOT saying that that has any chance of happening to you, but I think it's important for SAHMs (and all women!) to have a hand in the finances even though they're not making the money.

Also in agreement with working to make yourself marketable/keep up your marketability now. Doing something along these lines will probably keep you from worrying as much!

I also plan on going back to work when the kids are a little older, at least part-time.

We have our own separate bank accts and credit cards. We share a savings acct, and obviously other stuff. Although the only money that goes into my bank acct now is from DH's check and a very occasional per-diem gig that I may get. :) (I have an MS in a healthcare field.) I take care of all the bill paying, savings, staying in touch with our financial advisor, etc. I keep a spreadsheet of what bills to pay and how in case something ever happens to me and DH needs to know what to do.

[geochick]

I worry about this a lot. I have an advanced degree and haven't used it since 2003! One of my old female colleagues told me that I should always work at least an hour a week...even volunteering in my field from time to time as a sahm. This would help me maintain my contacts and references if I ever did need to go back to work. I am "this" close to looking into my 1-2 hours/week options soon...just in case. Last year we bought oodles of life insurance on dh. I feel good about that part. I should probably sock money away in the event of a divorce. I'd want a good lawyer. I put dh though medical school and residency. With a good lawyer, I should be set. Now, how do I pay for a lawyer? Socking money away, I guess. I also insisted that my dh practice medicine in an area near my family. If something were to happen to him, I'd have a great support network.

I worry about stuff like this all the time. You're not alone.

[niccig]

This happened to my mother. She left my father, we moved in with my grandparents in another state. She was a teacher, but hadn't taught in 15 years. She started subsititute teaching, got short-term contract jobs. It took 2 years for her to get a full-time permanent job. We were lucky, my grandparents bought the neighbouring farm, and we lived there rent free in return for help on the farm. My grandparents helped support us until Mum could. My father did pay child support, but it wasn't enough.

DH has life insurance. Because of the sky-high prices here in CA, I would have to sell the house and move somewhere cheaper or into a small place if we were to stay. That would give us enough money to get DS through school.

I've been volunteering, using some of my work skills, and I might have a part-time job where I'm volunteering. That will keep me current in the workforce. Getting a full-time job would take some time, but hopefully I could find/work something out.

I'm also about to open my own bank account, my work money will go in there as we want it separate for savings. I do have a credit card in my own name. I want to open an IRA. I have one in Australia, but it's no longer being added to.

Use some of you time to keep current with skills, take classes or volunteer. Think about what you would like to do re. work, and if you need to retrain, then start to do it sooner rather than later - part-time study takes a while to complete qualifications.

I have to agree with Suzie Ormond and other financial planners, that the SAHP needs to think about what to do if the unthinkable happens - death or divorce.

ETA. I might be wrong, but I thought that if DH and I separated, he would still have to pay daily bills for us until the divorce was finalized. True or not? Does someone know?
Also, I hope my DH would do the right thing. Friends divorced, she found work, and everything was fine until she had a mental breakdown. Her ex-husband stepped in and helped pay bills/rent. He still helps more than he legally needs to. He said "it's my daughter's home too, so I'll help until her Mum is back on her feet". I can hope my DH would be as supportive if we were in that situation. And hopefully, we won't be.

[Sillygirl]

I put dh though medical school and residency.

Just a mention, since I gather from this that your DH is a doc - life insurance is not enough. He needs disability insurance. Good insurance, so that if he can't work AS A DOCTOR, it pays. Medicine is a gruelling field and your DH is much more likely to become disabled than to die early. His state medical society probably offers good disability insurance. It's not cheap, but it is really really worth it.

[ha98ed14]

I should probably sock money away in the event of a divorce. I'd want a good lawyer. I put dh though medical school and residency. With a good lawyer, I should be set. Now, how do I pay for a lawyer? Socking money away, I guess.

Just to be clear: I was raised by a single mom and I believe (and practice) that women must keep some assets in their own name (separate from DH) and keep up their job skills, etc.

But even given all that, I think there is something detrimental to your relationship with DH about this line of thinking. How can you plan and live a life with someone that you are simultaneously worried about being able to sue (and win) in a divorce settlement? It's like your sleeping with the enemy. I would seriously re-evaluate things if you really feel this way. Maybe I am misreading your comments, but taken on its face, this seems unhealthy to me.

[bubbaray]

I'd want a good lawyer. I put dh though medical school and residency. With a good lawyer, I should be set.

I wouldn't bet the farm on that.

Generally speaking, women in all socio-economic brackets come out the "losers" in a divorce situation. Typically, the men go on to continue living the lifestyles they had prior to the divorce and the women move to a much lower standard of living.

[maestramommy]

Dh got a very good insurance policy for something like a tragic contingency. And every year he add to my roth IRA for retirement. I'm not going to think about what would happen in the event he lost his mind and left me for another woman, or whatever reason. The first thing that would happen is that his whole family would kick his @ss to kingdom come. Besides, he's the one who told me "you're not getting rid of me that easily" when our friends were splitting up left and right a couple years back.

ETA: DH had a great disability policy through his old job, but that's gone with the job. I don't think he's replaced it yet.

[bubbaray]

I might be wrong, but I thought that if DH and I separated, he would still have to pay daily bills for us until the divorce was finalized. True or not? Does someone know?

Not necessarily. Depending on the jurisdiction and the likelihood of alimony (aka spousal support, which is separate from child support), the finances are separate from the date of separation, not divorce.


Also, I hope my DH would do the right thing. Friends divorced, she found work, and everything was fine until she had a mental breakdown. Her ex-husband stepped in and helped pay bills/rent. He still helps more than he legally needs to. He said "it's my daughter's home too, so I'll help until her Mum is back on her feet". I can hope my DH would be as supportive if we were in that situation. And hopefully, we won't be.

Again, I wouldn't bet the farm on that either. IME (I've never practiced family or divorce law, but I've had to sit through many an emergency family hearing in court, waiting for my commercial cases to get back on the docket while the emergency financial matter is cleared up by the judge), the men walk away unscathed. I've seen courts order different custodial arrangements in the situation you describe, but not increased spousal support. Having said that, spousal support is exceedingly rare in Canada. Typically, there is zero obligation to provide spousal support, even if you have put your spouse through school or whatever. I've heard there are US states moving away from the alimony model, but not sure which ones or if that is even true.

I will say that the divorce rate is being generated by *someone*. Every SAHM I know IRL says it will never happen to them. But, its happening to someone, KWIM? I think SAHMs need to have a financial plan. Nearly 2/3s of marriages end in divorce (I realize that the number is skewed by multiple marriages), those odds would keep me awake at night if I were a SAHM.

JMHO.

[niccig]

But even given all that, I think there is something detrimental to your relationship with DH about this line of thinking. How can you plan and live a life with someone that you are simultaneously worried about being able to sue (and win) in a divorce settlement?

I don't see it this way about the OP or other PP. I'm not worried that DH and I will divorce. But I'm also realistic that things happen in life. If I've been out of the workforce for several years, and have not kept skills/contacts, DS and I will be in a very difficult situation, if it's divorce/death - settlements take a while to get.

I'm not saving money in case of divorce, my bank account will have joint savings, but I'll have my own account/my own credit if I need it. And I'll have marketable skills in the event that I"m a single parent.

[niccig]

Again, I wouldn't bet the farm on that either. IME (I've never practiced family or divorce law, but I've had to sit through many an emergency family hearing in court, waiting for my commercial cases to get back on the docket while the emergency financial matter is cleared up by the judge), the men walk away unscathed.

Oh, I agree. I would hope my DH would do the right thing, but I've been a child of divorce and seen 2 family divorces from the side lines, so I know not to count on that alone. My friend's ex. is a stand up guy, and when needed, he helped out. But I'm not all rose-coloured glasses to expect this to happen for everyone.

[niccig]

Not necessarily. Depending on the jurisdiction and the likelihood of alimony (aka spousal support, which is separate from child support), the finances are separate from the date of separation, not divorce.

THanks for clearing that up. I wasn't sure, and knew someone would know.

[KrisM]

We also have life insurance on DH (and me, too, of course) that would allow me to be home until DS2 is in all-day school.

I have my own bank account, but there isn't much there, as it is my account to use with PayPal, so I don't keep much in it.

I don't see myself ever working as an engineer again. It's just not something I would look forward to. I sell on ebay and Amazon and would likely ramp that up, in case I was left without DH.

I take care of our bills and insurance, so I do know where the money goes, etc. I think that is important.

ETA: I still have my IRA from my 401k and a Roth IRA, too.

[kijip]

All parents, especially those that are out of the workforce, need to be thinking about life insurance, disability insurance (to replace income lost if a professional became unable to work- SSD is not going to be enough for most people) and about having their own financial and credit history.

[geochick]

J
But even given all that, I think there is something detrimental to your relationship with DH about this line of thinking. How can you plan and live a life with someone that you are simultaneously worried about being able to sue (and win) in a divorce settlement? It's like your sleeping with the enemy. I would seriously re-evaluate things if you really feel this way. Maybe I am misreading your comments, but taken on its face, this seems unhealthy to me.

I think you read me all wrong! I have the best marriage of anyone I know - seriously! I trust dh! Lots of people have 100% trust in their dhs, then are completely surprised when they find themselves served with divorce papers. I think it's naive for happy people to think that it always happens to the other person. Naive! I have some assets in my name, but not many, dh is only 4 years out of residency/fellowship. We still have loans. Dh has several friends from med school/residency who have left their spouses already. I wonder how many of them saw it coming.

Several years ago my sister would have said she had the perfect marriage, the perfect spouse, the perfect everything. The next day the spouse of the woman her perfect dh was cheating with knocked on her door. Things changed that fast! Did she have a stash of cash to help her through that tough time? Nope.

Can't hurt, and my marriage isn't bad because the what ifs play in my head. They really should play in the heads of more women. Do I have a lawyer lined up? No. I wouldn't even know where to begin, honestly, it doesn't occupy a lot of my time. I spend more time worrying about how to pay off debt if dh were to die. Does it mean I have a rotten marriage because I've considered that my dh could die before the ripe old age of 95? To me it's all about the same...being prepared...and back to the original point of this thread...

Yes, it's hard to be a sahm because you feel like you have no safety net (to protect you in the event of an awful life-changing event...WHATEVER it may be).

[niccig]

To the OP, you could also look at having marketable skills in the case that your DH can't work or is laid off. Even if you have disability insurance, it might not last as long as you need it. People who dog sit for us went through this. He has some neurological disorder and there is no cure. He can't work, she went back to college and is now a speech therapist, but it was tough times when he couldn't work and she hadn't graduated yet. Have skills so you can return to work, in the case of some life-changing event, can help your family.

[purpleeyes]

I've debated posting on this thread.... b/c I am personally going through this right now, so I want to offer the benefit of my experience.

1. get your name on ALL accounts that are joint (or if you have no income, the main accounts)
2. get some sort of retirement account in your name
3. Establish credit in your name-keep a credit card just for you, etc.
4. Keep up/get new marketable skills
5. Hope for the best, plan for the worst!

[pb&j]

dh and i have been reviewing our finances lately (given the current economic situation) and it reminded me of a concern of mine that i try to ignore so that i won't stress too much. i have nearly no money of my own (not shared w/dh). i have no income of my own. i have been a sahm long enough that i am no longer marketable. it isn't a big deal if one day i choose to go back to work (as a choice, not out of necessity) because in that scenario, i will have the time to do what i need to make myself marketable again and work my way up again. however i stress over the possibility that one day i may need to work -- especially if i have to solely support my family. aside from going back to work now, is there something that i can do now -- just in case? i feel as if though i am just setting myself up for a big fall w/o a safety net. is there a safety net for sahms?
do other sahms have the same concern or do i just worry too much?

I'm not a SAHM, but these are some things DH and I do to make sure our family will be taken care of if one of us is left on our own for whatever reason:

-If you have any professional certifications, keep those current - don't let them lapse.
-Participate in continuing education either in your field or a field you would like to move into
-Maintain contacts in your field
-Keep up or establish memberships in professional organizations for your field
-Establish credit and a bank account in your own name
-Establish a retirement account (Roth IRA, for instance) in your name
-Make sure DH has life and disability insurance
-Be an equal partner in managing household finances

[KBecks]

Assuming things between you and your DH are OK, I would talk with him about getting a ROTH IRA in your name to save something for you each year, and also look at putting some of the other shared money in your name. My state has community property so I think it's pretty much 50-50 of all assets, but I haven't really investigated.

For the job, I would just keep in contact with your network, whomever that may be, in terms of friends and people in the community you interact with, teachers, church members, etc. etc. so you have people to network with if you need to get out there later. If you want to work anyway, then you could look at steps in your areas of interest to get a little more prepared just in case.

[Happy 2B mommy]

I worry about a lot. I don't have a degree, no career training and while DH has a good retirement plan, mine hasn't had anything added to it in years.

In the event of DH's death, I'd have enough to live comfortably while I finished my education/got job training. I'd have to work FT, but I wouldn't have to make an impressive salary to keep the house and our plans for DD's schooling.

In the event of divorce, I think I'd be in a pretty tough situation. I have my own bank accounts and credit cards, but that's about it.

While I trust DH and have a good marriage, I am well aware that I am very vulnerable were my marriage to end.

[tylersmama]

I think you read me all wrong! I have the best marriage of anyone I know - seriously! I trust dh! Lots of people have 100% trust in their dhs, then are completely surprised when they find themselves served with divorce papers. I think it's naive for happy people to think that it always happens to the other person. Naive! I have some assets in my name, but not many, dh is only 4 years out of residency/fellowship. We still have loans. Dh has several friends from med school/residency who have left their spouses already. I wonder how many of them saw it coming.

Several years ago my sister would have said she had the perfect marriage, the perfect spouse, the perfect everything. The next day the spouse of the woman her perfect dh was cheating with knocked on her door. Things changed that fast! Did she have a stash of cash to help her through that tough time? Nope.

Can't hurt, and my marriage isn't bad because the what ifs play in my head. They really should play in the heads of more women. Do I have a lawyer lined up? No. I wouldn't even know where to begin, honestly, it doesn't occupy a lot of my time. I spend more time worrying about how to pay off debt if dh were to die. Does it mean I have a rotten marriage because I've considered that my dh could die before the ripe old age of 95? To me it's all about the same...being prepared...and back to the original point of this thread...

Yes, it's hard to be a sahm because you feel like you have no safety net (to protect you in the event of an awful life-changing event...WHATEVER it may be).
A big fat :yeahthat: to everything written here. A year and a half ago, I would have said that I was one of those who had a great marriage and a husband who would never do anything to change that. Most of you know my story, but in a nutshell, the husband I trusted completely was having an emotional affair. Don't think that it can't ever happen to you, because it can.

I was fortunate enough that because he was feeling major guilt about what he had done, he was willing to continue fully supporting DS and myself, even though he was not legally required to. Although we're back in a holding pattern again, we had started mediation towards divorce, so I'm well-aware of what I'm legally entitled to. Of course, H could give me more than I'm legally entitled to, which he was going to do. In my state, there is no law requiring spousal support to be paid. It's pretty much up to the judges in your county to determine what you get, if you get anything. I was told by the lawyer I consulted that judges in my county are notorious for not giving spousal support, even in cases where the couple had been married for 30+ years and the wife had never worked! I'm entitled to 50% of all our assets, including his 401k, which is a big deal since I stupidly have no retirement of my own. I'm very fortunate that if it does come to divorce, H has agreed to continue supporting me staying home for at least 3 years, until DS is in school full time.

So, I guess my point is, while it's definitely very important to make sure that you have life and disability insurance in place in case of death, it's also SO very important to have at least some sort of plan in case of divorce. REGARDLESS of how great your marriage is (or you think it is), you just never know what can happen.

[kransden]

Here are a few practical tips:
Have one of the utilities in just your name.
Have a credit card in just your name -use it and don't always pay it off immediately.
Check your credit rating and fix it if necessary.
Have a stash of cash.
Have a couple of decent outfits in the closet jic.
Get an employable skill.

Think of what would happen if your DH suddenly had a mid-life crisis, left you, drained the bank accounts, canceled all the credit cards and took the car. I am at the age where I know too many people that this happened to. It is better to be prepared.

[stella]

A big fat :yeahthat: to everything written here. A year and a half ago, I would have said that I was one of those who had a great marriage and a husband who would never do anything to change that. Most of you know my story, but in a nutshell, the husband I trusted completely was having an emotional affair. Don't think that it can't ever happen to you, because it can.

I was fortunate enough that because he was feeling major guilt about what he had done, he was willing to continue fully supporting DS and myself, even though he was not legally required to. Although we're back in a holding pattern again, we had started mediation towards divorce, so I'm well-aware of what I'm legally entitled to. Of course, H could give me more than I'm legally entitled to, which he was going to do. In my state, there is no law requiring spousal support to be paid. It's pretty much up to the judges in your county to determine what you get, if you get anything. I was told by the lawyer I consulted that judges in my county are notorious for not giving spousal support, even in cases where the couple had been married for 30+ years and the wife had never worked! I'm entitled to 50% of all our assets, including his 401k, which is a big deal since I stupidly have no retirement of my own. I'm very fortunate that if it does come to divorce, H has agreed to continue supporting me staying home for at least 3 years, until DS is in school full time.

So, I guess my point is, while it's definitely very important to make sure that you have life and disability insurance in place in case of death, it's also SO very important to have at least some sort of plan in case of divorce. REGARDLESS of how great your marriage is (or you think it is), you just never know what can happen.

I think y'all are very wise to be thinking about it because I have had sooo many friends have the rug pulled out from under them in terms of affairs, addictions, and divorce. I see so many former SAHMs looking for jobs to support their former lifestyle and not being successful at it.

I am sorry to say (and it's just my own opinion - as a former sahm and an attorney) that women don't usually come out ahead in a divorce situation - even when the husband does something reprehensible.

[ha98ed14]

I think you read me all wrong!

Ok. My apologies. I didn't mean to imply your marriage was bad.

[kusumat]

How does it work in term of the spousal support(Alimony), child support? California has the community property laws(I think). So, if there is a divorce, the assets will be splitted in half? What if there is a will that says, all assets go to children(nothing goes to spouse)? Can the will overrule that?

Does California have the laws on Alimony and child support? The divorce procedures will follow the laws on where you currently live or where the marriage incurred? I recalled my family's friend told me that she needed to pay her ex-husband Alimony because she made more money than him. I didn't get the details because I was so young when she told me.

TIA for all answeres. I am just curious.

[lizajane]

Just a mention, since I gather from this that your DH is a doc - life insurance is not enough. He needs disability insurance. Good insurance, so that if he can't work AS A DOCTOR, it pays. Medicine is a gruelling field and your DH is much more likely to become disabled than to die early. His state medical society probably offers good disability insurance. It's not cheap, but it is really really worth it.

ditto. my DH is in an engineer and while he mostly works in an office, he is required to visit job sites that are not wheelchair accesible, etc.

[american_mama]

This thread is rather timely since I came back not at hour ago from opening my own bank account for some of the same reasons discussed here. I have earned some very small money recently - babysitting, ebay, consignment stores, delayed economic stimulus check from the government - and I wanted to put that in a pot and see it grow, however infintisemally. My usually wonderful DH was not really on board with it at first, but we talked about it over the past week and addressed the emotional and financial concerns. In the process, I have some more current banking info. that we are going to use to make some changes in our joint account and that is helpful at reminding us both that we are on the same team, with the vast majority of our money, even as I am establishing a separate account on my own.

[niccig]

My usually wonderful DH was not really on board with it at first, but we talked about it over the past week and addressed the emotional and financial concerns.

I talked to DH about this thread last night, and spoke about a bank account in my name, getting one of the utilities in my name, opening a IRA etc. He half-jokingly asked when I was going to leave him. Like you we talked about all the concerns, and that it's a move to make sure DS and I will be fine regardless of what life-changing event happens. He may not always be there for us, so I have to make sure that I'm set up to take-over if necessary.

[kransden]

One of my friend's DH had a serious car accident on the day of their 20th anniversary. Luckily he recovered, but he was in the hospital for over 6 weeks. If he died, she would have been ok, but what they didn't plan on is what would happen if he was mentally disabled. It is important to think of things like that too.

[salsah]

we don't have life insurance or disability insurance. dh doesn't believe in it. he thinks insurance in general is a waste of money. the only reason we have renter's insurance is because i insisted on it and took care of it myself. (of course every year when it is time to renew, dh argues that we are wasting money on it.) sometimes i wonder if we really need it, but i keep it just because it is the one decision that i made (and fought for).

as far as being marketable, i have a bs (and i had a license but it expired). those are irrelevant because at the time that i met dh, i was in the middle of making a career change. the career that i was in was not the type that was suitable for a mother so i thought that i should look into a career that is more mommy friendly -- just in case. i found a field that interests me and wouldn't require 80 hr work weeks like my previous field did and i began taking some classes. i wanted to apply for a masters/phd program but decided to start a family and postpone further education for when my children are in school. while that is still the plan, i have at least 5 years before i can begin (maybe 8 years if we have another baby in the next couple of years). i worry that something could happen before i earn (at least) a masters and i'll find myself in a position where i need to support a family but am not qualified for a job in my old field or in my new field.

i think what makes the most sense, in my situation, is to try to find a way to get started on the masters. it doesn't seem possible right now because i barely have time to breath right now just taking care of the girls and the home. another factor is that i'm not sure that i have the money to pay for tuition. i'll have to look into it.
on the other hand, returning to my old job will certainly be more lucrative in the long run (which will be nice if i have to support a family by my self).

i feel like i need to talk to dh about it but i don't expect it to go well. he doesn't worry about / plan for the future the same way that i do. and he is so stubborn! he has been really stressed lately at work so i'll have to wait for a good time to approach him.

[bubbaray]

we don't have life insurance or disability insurance. dh doesn't believe in it. he thinks insurance in general is a waste of money.

Um, that's pretty scary.

IMO, you should take out life ins. on him even if he d/n believe in it.

[salsah]

Um, that's pretty scary.

yes it is.