HELP... At my wit's end with almost 3 year old....

[kayte]

Why did my sweet, curious, patient daughter turn into such turkey?

After every sentence that comes out of my mouth she immediately says "No!" ??? What do you do? We have tried so hard to not tell her no a lot and she has really never used it before--suddenly it's constant. I mean aggravatingly, frustratingly CONSTANT.

Also everything is suddenly "Mine"??? What do I do about this? I calmly tell her that we don't say that, that things in our house belong to our family, she replies, "No Mine." This is a child that had a vocabulary of over 500 words on her second birthday and loved to talk to you, ask questions, etc... now her vocabulary has been reduced to "No" and "Mine"....

The most aggravating thing by far has to be that she won't look at me anymore when we talk. Even if I calmly ask her to look at me it lasts a millisecond.

I feel like I am losing the bond I worked so hard to create with her to help discipline her without threats, material rewards and time-outs.

Help.

[sidmand]

Granted my three-year-old is a bit delayed, but I think it's just being three!

Many a day I wonder exactly why we were so excited the first time he said "no" because now he says it all day long! And pretty much exactly the opposite of anything I say. So if I say excitedly "lets go play in a bounce house!" even that'll get a "no" sometimes! It's like Taming of the Shrew, right? I could say, the sky is blue and he's say "no!"

And we're getting the "mine" too. I thought it was because he recently started preschool and someone there must be doing it. It's "mine" and then tuck it away. Or pretend to hand it to Mommy and then, "no, mine!" Dude!!!

So, no help. Just to let you know I think it's being three!

[maestramommy]

Heh. I think it was around 2.5 when Dora started going through this metamorphasis. No longer compliant, easy-going with no opinion. Now she decides what she does/doesn't want to wear, will not take no for an answer, and tell me "no" to my face when I say it's time for lunch, nap, wash hands, etc. The last six months have been the most trying time of her life, including when she was a newborn. Luckily I heard from other parents here and elsewhere that 3 is worse than 2, and 4 is worse than 3, and after that it starts to get better. So I knew it was coming eventually. Luckily she is also getting smarter, so longer explanations have more effect than they used to. Also, I find if I give a little, I get a lot.

I think what has also helped is our move. We now spend a LOT more time outdoors than we used to, and I think the fresh air and increase in activity has greatly improved her overall mood. Before we mostly ran errands. I used to count that as getting out, but even though she'd be really good for the errand, she'd have a meltdown as soon as we got home. Now after 90 minutes of running around and moshing with other kids she's much more amenable.

[pinkmomagain]

I can relate to this....especially not really looking at me when I talk to her. Also, completely ignoring me when I call her name....particularly when running towards the street, jumping on the couch, etc. Sounds like it's a "3" thing...unfortunately/fortunately I just can't remember this phase from my older ones. Selective memory I guess.

[DrSally]

Since we got home with the baby, DS has turned from a sweet, compliant boy to having some defiant time every day. I'll ask him not to dump something out or throw things around and he'll just keep doing it more. I'll ask him to clean it up and he'll say no. Today he was using his rake to fling the neighbor's mulch and I was very stern with him, but he kept doing it. Even after I cleaned it up the first time. We've never had to do timeouts, but I think it's time for a discipline program. I hate saying "don't do that" to him all the time, I think it makes him feel bad. He used to be very open to my direction. So, I thought it was b/c of the baby, but it could also be the age 2.5!

[BabyMine]

We just came out of this great stage. My son finally is himself again. We thought there was something wrong with him. Nope, it is just typical behavior. It will last a couple months.

[fivi2]

My girls are close to being three and this describes them too! They have turned defiant, cranky, and won't make eye contact. A couple mornings I actually gave then tylenol thinking they must be getting sick and that was what was causing this! Nope! This is just who they are right now. It is driving me insane :) So, no help, but you aren't alone!

[janeybwild]

I agree with the pp's, this too shall pass. My advice it to try to be as calm and consistent as you can, give her as much fresh air as possible, have time during the day to follow her lead, and don't take it personally (which IMO is the hardest). Check out gentle christian mothers.com for good ideas (you don't have to be christian to appreciate the suggestions from there). It might help you to turn this negative thinking about where she is into a positive. Your child is not bratty and defiant. She is learning independent, creative thinking and is learning to state her opinions in a firm manner, all wonderful qualities :love-retry:

[elephantmeg]

tell me about it. I'm about to shoot mine. And DD is in the "I can't crawl and I want to be intertained constantly" phase. Shoot me now.