s/o cutting back for the holidays

[momof2girls]

I'm am totally behind cutting back for the holidays and have done so for my own sisters and parents and give only to our nieces. However, what do you do when your ILs have no children of their own? DHs family has no kids so they go nuts on us and our kids. We already mentioned to them to not get us anything and to give a small gift to the kids. They laughed it off and insisted on getting us all sorts of stuff we really didn't need. Being DINKs, they have lots more money than we do, and are not aching in the current economic situation. I was really hoping they would give our kids 1 or 2 gifts each and we could in exchange give them a not-so-expensive gift on behalf of the kids. Btw, this is regarding DH's 2 siblings and their spouses, so it is a total of 4 adults costing us at least $400 every Christmas. The sheer volume of stuff that is exchanged among Dh and his siblings is really ridiculous. Not to mention it takes HOURS to complete the whole unwrapping process which really holds up our ability to also visit my family for Christmas. But, no one on his side understands since they don't have kids!

[SpaceGal]

My one SIL was like this. She married into what she thinks is money and loves to flaunt it and buys our boys expensive gifts. We can't afford to spend over $100 per family...muchless for grown up that can buy their own things. Now she has a kid and I'm sure she's expecting to big gifts cuz she's that kind of person...likes ot keep track of who got what and what she didn't or did get if you know what I mean.

Personally I know DINKs and single people don't get it...but at this point I tell myself no one held a gun to their head and I don't have the money to keep up so I send them something small and they can take it whichever way they want.

I know it totally sucks to feel like you have to give x amount to feel fair. Trust me...keeping it simple is hard these days. Enjoying the holidays with loved ones doesn't seem to be enough for some.

[niccig]

Give them a "couple" gift and something the kids made. There's some idea in the current Family Fun magazine. I'm going to get DS to help make key chains out of polymer clay and then give with 1 couples gift. Last year I gave some Penzey's spices gift boxes etc.

[vludmilla]

What is a DINK?

As for the amount to spend, it seems outrageous to spend $400 on two couples. I can't fathom spending that much. I agree with the PP's that you can get each couple a nice gift, maybe $50 and leave it at that. You could let them know in advance that you're streamlining because you need to cut back and that they should feel free to pull back as well. If they don't choose to cut back, then that will be their choice.

[momof2girls]

DINK= Double Income No Kids

And yes, $400 is kind of a lot, but it's what I inherited as normal when I married into this family!

[Asianmommy]

Give what you're comfortable with, and let them do the same. You don't have to match dollar for dollar. A thoughtful gift is what counts.

[Tondi G]

I'd buy each couple a movie theater gift pack (25 bucks)... 2 tickets, 2 drinks and a LG popcorn. Then have the kids make them an ornament or something. You could also get some inexpensive frames and put a cute pic of your kids in it so they can remember them all year long!

It's the thought that counts! If they have the extra income and want to spoil your kids... let em! They will have to understand that you guys are on a budget this year and their gift may just have to be smaller than usual!

Good luck

[kijip]

Give what you're comfortable with, and let them do the same. You don't have to match dollar for dollar. A thoughtful gift is what counts.

I totally agree with this.