Worried about DS's progress

[HIU8]

DS will be 4 next month. I'm getting a little worried about him though. He has a late birthday so he is in the 3s preschool class (cutoff is September 1 here). So a lot of the kids in his class will be 4 before Dec 31st, but most will be turning 4 after January. Having said that, I know DS has been really concentrating on physical things for the past year (climbing, skipping, hopping, etc...). However, I'm worried about the fact that he either can't or won't count or learn his letters. I know he recognizes some b/c he can recognize his name. He can count to 10, but mixes up and leaves out numbers (he cannot count beyond 10 without a lot of help). Do I need to do more than just working with him at home myself at this point? He seems to be ok with concepts, but I'm starting to worry about reading etc... which he has absolutely no interest in. Is this still normal for a 4 year old?

Thanks

[icunurse]

I know that last year, when DS was in 3 y.o. preschool, one of the things that they wanted *by the end of the year* was to be able to count to 10. This year, in pre-k, they are working on being able to count to 20 and being able to apply it (count how many cookies they have, etc). When I asked about the learning goals for K, I was told that they would be reading by the end (and doing simple addition and subtraction). So, it doesn't seem like your DS is behind or anything - sounds good.

DS (closing in on 5) is starting to read, but that is by his own ambition. He has known his letters, numbers, sounds and such for a while now, but, again, I haven't done much to teach them (I thank the LeapFrog Letter and Word factory DVD's, Leapster games). JMHO, but I think before K, we shouldn't push our kids too much to try and learn things, with K being the start of structure and starting more formal education. For now, I just leave lots of options around him for educated play and follow his lead. I try to encourage him with questions (also to help with his speech problems), but there isn't any quizzing going on around here :)

If you are really concerned, I would recommend that you talk to his teacher and ask how he is doig. But, personally, he sounds fine to me :)

[sanja973]

I'm preschool teacher (now SAHM) and I wouldn't worried about letters and numbers at this age. I would ask for help if he has speech delays or something like that but if he can count up to five that is perfectly normal for his age.
Learning letters and numbers is just memorizing and there is no point to do that untill 5-6 years unless they are interested in. Before that I would incourage creative, imaginative play and lot of drawing wich is good for fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination that is going to help him for writing later on.

Sanja

[HIU8]

We don't do anything formal at home. We do have the letter factory DVD and we count things around the house for fun and sing the alphabet if DS wants to. I haven't really done anything else. I'm only worried b/c most of the kids in DS's class recognized their names the first day and DS looked at the teacher like she was from outerspace. He actually tells me that he doesn't want to learn his letters and numbers, but wants to learn how to read. He is really good at explaining things to me though. He seems to learn by talking it out (telling me about how the earth revolves around the sun, or why bats fly at night). Plus, DS has become more physical (not in a bad way). I think parent teacher conferences are coming up next month and I'm going to ask how DS is really doing.

Meanwhile, DD is picking things up and can count to 10 and has started saying letters (she loves the fridge letter thingy and the word whammer). I may be in trouble with this one.

[mecawa]

I would talk to his teacher. See if she has the same concerns. He is still very young, and will have to do another year of preschool/prek before K just like my DD. Where he has been more advanced physically, the more academic stuff may just come a little later. Sometimes that's the way it works with kids that age. My DD is behind on the physical type stuff(can't skip or hop), but in the academic type stuff is ahead. Ask his teacher, from what your describing he sounds like a normal 4 year old (coming from both a mom and former teacher). You can also ask what is expected of them by the end of the year and if your still concerned work with him on those skills at home.

[lorinick]

Most boys are not big reader at the begining. My ds has a late birthday as well. He could count to 10 and say the abc's by K. In my son's school they learned to write before learning to read. He did learn sight word. But he was struggling in reading even at the end of last year. Which he was in second grade. This year in third he's doing great and enjoying reading. He's always been more interested in physcial activies than reading. Your son will do fine. There is no reason to push him.

[HIU8]

DS loves to draw. He and DD do a lot of imaginative play together as well. Ok, I'm going to just see what his teacher says at the PTconferences next month. Not comparing, but got worried when my 2 yr old niece counted to 40 for me and spelled her name (maybe it's just a girt thing since DD is really interested in letters and numbers at 16 months).

[citymama]

DS loves to draw. He and DD do a lot of imaginative play together as well. Ok, I'm going to just see what his teacher says at the PTconferences next month. Not comparing, but got worried when my 2 yr old niece counted to 40 for me and spelled her name (maybe it's just a girt thing since DD is really interested in letters and numbers at 16 months).

I concur with the others - set up a time to talk to the teachers if you are concerned. But if you think he is generally on track, just not meeting these pre-determined "goals" set for him, then I would relax a little. As we all know, these kids are *really* really different in what they do when, and usually all hit the key milestones within a general range. My cousin's two daughters started to read at about the same age, and they're 3 years apart - the younger one was 4 and the older 6.5 yrs. The older one had no interest in reading till past 6.

My DD can count to 10 and identify her letters just fine (she is 2.5), but she can't throw a ball to save her life. Literally, can't or won't throw - she hands you the ball or runs to you and puts it your hands. I shudder to think of how she will be teased at gym class or in any kind of sports setting when she is older - like her mom was years ago! She walks off the shortest steps super gingerly - boys (and some girls) her age are leaping off heights three times as high. We'll try to work on it but it's ultimately up to her!

You said your son is focused on physical activities, and that could be a big part of it - they typically concentrate on mastering one or more sets of skills at a time, and not everything we *think* they should be doing. So they're ahead in some respects, average in others, "behind" in some. That said, it can't hurt to continue to introduce numbers and letters in a fun, entertaining way that appeals to him - perhaps drawing numbers in sidewalk chalk and having him jump on them in order, or some other physical way of getting him interested. Good luck!

PS I understand your worry though - I saw one of her fellow 2.5 yr olds in her class draw a *perfect* snake - long curving shape, eyes, even a tail, and I was like, something must be wrong with my DD, whose scribbles don't seem to take any shape or form! Then remembered that the other girl's mom is a graphic designer and artist - she is probably artistic as well and gets a lot of encouragement at home. I had to take a deep breath and try not to pre-judge what my kid would or would not be good at. Remember, Einstein didn't say a word until 3!