Explain time-outs to me.

[JoyNChrist]

Okay, this is probably a "duh" kind of question, but I'm lost...

Up to this point, our "discipline" solution with DS has mainly been distraction, redirection, and praising good behavior. 90% of the time we have no trouble with him at all. But I think that we're getting to the point where we need an actual "punishment" for unacceptable behavior (hitting, being mean to the dog, etc). Since we're not into spanking, I'm guessing time-outs are our answer.

But how exactly do I do time-out?

DS is a very well-behaved kid, and he usually listens to me, but he's also very active and determined - I guess you might say he's spirited. If I sit him in the corner or a "naughty chair" or time-out spot or whatever, he's just going to get right back up. So...does that mean time-outs aren't going to work for us? I can't see myself physically restraining him - that seems like it would just frustrate him and make him really upset.

Maybe a playpen? I have a pack n play in the attic that we haven't used in months...should I set it up and have that be the "time-out spot"?

I know that 1 minute for 1 year of age is the general time rule...is that what all of you do? Do you use a timer?

And when do you use time-out? The first time he misbehaves? After he's given a warning? Do you talk to him when he's in time-out, or do you tell him why he was punished afterward?

I feel kind of stupid, but I guess I just don't understand the logistics of it all.

[brittone2]

I'm not sure if you are interested in an alternative, but I like the idea from GCM of a "comfort corner." It is a sticky on their gentle discipline board (at www.gentlechristianmothers.com ). Think of it as the child version of an adult coffee break...a chance to reset, calm down, etc. without being punitive.

link to comfort corner:
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=119031.0

link to a little thread on "why not time outs?"
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=119031.0

I totally get that TOs work for many families and there isn't a single solution. If you aren't convinced TOs are the way you want to proceed, you might like the thread on "why not TOs." If not, feel free to ignore, obviously...I just thought I'd toss it out there in case TOs don't mesh well with your personal philosophy.

I also like the 5 steps from GCM and used them a lot with DS...I should do so more consistently with DD ;)
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=250.0

Again, I know those solutions don't work for everyone, but I think they work really well for many kids.

[maestramommy]

I use timeouts mainly when Dora has a tantrum. I put her in her crib, and I leave her there until she calms down, then I ask if she's ready to start "whatever we were doing" again. It generally takes a few to several minutes, so you can see I'm not following the 1 minute per year of age rule, which really never made any sense to me anyway. As for the "naughty chair" I've heard that in the beginning a kid will get up, but you have to (calmly and repeatedly) put them back until they get it. I think when I started timeouts Dora was only about 18 months, so I really didn't think she would understand the concept of the "spot," which is why I used the crib.

[egoldber]

I think your DS is too young honestly for the "traditional" time out. Most books that recommend time outs (a la 1-2-3 Magic) usually recommend 3 as the minimum age. I do find them useful occasionally, but I haven't given Sarah a time out in probably a year. She does get sent to her room to calm down and she can come out when she's calmer. I did find them very valuable around ages 3-5.

With Amy, I find it effective to remove her from the area where I am, set her down and say "No, we do not (hit, bite, bang the toy on mommy's head)" and then walk away from her quickly. But I don't try to confine her in any way.

[fivi2]

We sort of do time outs (my girls are not quite 3). They are few and far between, and usually for things that I can't think of a better consequence for. The one thing that has ALWAYS gotten a time out (from probably 15 months on!) is biting. At that age I would put the biter in a crib because they wouldn't stay put. Now, at almost three, they will go sit in a time out chair (again, it is rare). I think the ability to stay put is just something that comes with age.

For us, with twins, the time outs are necessary (for me.) I can't deal with comforting the one who has been bitten at the same time as disciplining the biter. So the biter immediately goes to time out, I comfort the bitee, the biter can come out as soon as she apologizes. (yes, I force apologies, I know some people don't). Otherwise, the biter would just get off and get to play while I am comforting the bitee. That is pretty much the only situation where we use time out. as they have gotten older, I will do it for other sister to sister violence, not just biting, but biting was that main thing until recently. (anything where I need to comfort one before I can discipline the other)

Aside from that, I try to use redirection and natural consequences (I guess that toy needs to go away now sort of thing).

So my rambling point is, I do think this is maybe a little early for time outs to be used, but I think that under certain circumstances they are useful. And, yes, I would use a pack n play or something they can't escape. JMO!

[trales]

Dd is one month younger than Avery. I tend to pick her up when she is abusing the dog or us, say no and move her to a new spot with toys. If she goes back to the dog to bang on the head, I pick her up, sit her in a chair on my lap and count to 20. By 20 she tends to calm down and be ready to move onto other things. Of course, this may stop working next week, you never know.

[hillview]

We use time outs but think your 19 mo dc is a little too young. I'd more say no and redirect.

/hillary

[lizajane]

what worked best for schuyler at that age (my spirited kid... dylan didn't really do anything wrong at that age and required no discipline!) was sitting him in my LAP for a "time out." sorta like the comfort corner. basically, i removed him from the situation, calmed him with my touch and voice and made him wait to play again. while i did hold him, it wasn't a death grip or anything! same way you would restrain a child from going into the street, etc.

[elephantmeg]

what worked best for schuyler at that age (my spirited kid... dylan didn't really do anything wrong at that age and required no discipline!) was sitting him in my LAP for a "time out." sorta like the comfort corner. basically, i removed him from the situation, calmed him with my touch and voice and made him wait to play again. while i did hold him, it wasn't a death grip or anything! same way you would restrain a child from going into the street, etc.


That's my method too. I pick him up and restrain him for the min per year. Recently I've done some in his crib, I've also tried his room while holding the door shut when the first one didn't work for a while (right after DD was born and he was looking for more attention). The last couple weeks have been the first time I've been able to stick him in a chair by himself for time out.

[kijip]

Traditional egg timer timeouts worked for us when T was about 3. Then they totally stopped working and were IMO causing more problems than they solved. We graduated at that point to the comfort corner idea and also for things that needed to be corrected (as opposed to just calming down), to limiting access to certain toys (something I think only works for older kids who can remember why mama won't give them their dollhouse back till Tuesday!)

I am not sure timeouts are effective under the age of 2.

[KpbS]

We started time-outs at about the age your DC is. I used our pack and play mostly for redirection and reinforcement of no. Otherwise I would have spent 20 min. "saying" no over and over again. DS1 is very determined--other redirection at that age just did not work. They were brief and usu. reserved for direct disobedience or dangerous situations, eg. getting into the gas fireplace etc. I never went the crib route b/c I didn't want him to associate his crib w/ punishment.

We went to traditional time-outs w/ designated spots to sit around age 2. DS1 hates to go to time-out and I have found that even the threat of it is pretty effective still. Oh and we do double time-outs and toy time-outs as well. When DS1 was little there was a lot of warning associated w/ time-out--as in before he went to time-out and even now a fair amount of warning--if you do this again, etc. But there are definitely certain rules that when broken are automatic time-outs, hitting Mommy/Daddy, etc.

I know it doesn't work for everyone but for us it has been a good discipline strategy.

[C99]

I don't believe in spanking either. But I've done it with my 5-y/o. It wasn't until he was 4 or so that the thought even crossed my mind.

At this age, I like Burton White's method, which is the gate method -- you let your kid see you, but he cannot reach you. I'd do 1 minute to 90 seconds for this age. A simple explanation afterward of why you used the gate is fine: "I am going to let you out now, but if you hit me/throw the toy/bite again, I will use the gate again."

[randomkid]

I'm not sure if you are interested in an alternative, but I like the idea from GCM of a "comfort corner." It is a sticky on their gentle discipline board (at www.gentlechristianmothers.com ). Think of it as the child version of an adult coffee break...a chance to reset, calm down, etc. without being punitive.

link to comfort corner:
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=119031.0

link to a little thread on "why not time outs?"
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=119031.0

I totally get that TOs work for many families and there isn't a single solution. If you aren't convinced TOs are the way you want to proceed, you might like the thread on "why not TOs." If not, feel free to ignore, obviously...I just thought I'd toss it out there in case TOs don't mesh well with your personal philosophy.

I also like the 5 steps from GCM and used them a lot with DS...I should do so more consistently with DD ;)
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=250.0

Again, I know those solutions don't work for everyone, but I think they work really well for many kids.

Sorry to hijack, but...question about the comfort corner. I just read through quickly, but I'm a little confused. It says that the CC should be away from the main living area, but the child should not be isolated. How does that work? I'm very interested in trying this. I don't send DD to TO very often. I am usually able to calm her down by sitting with her and talking to her/comforting her. However, when she is being outright awful - hitting, screaming, etc. - it seems the only thing that will work is to isolate her in order to remove attention from her behavior. If she is in all out crying, screaming mode, how do I make the CC work? I understand the concept of this teaching a skill, but do you think it really teaches that their behavior was unacceptable?

To OP - I find the CC concept very interesting. I don't like TO and only use it when really necessary. I feel that using only when you've tried everything else really gets the message across that you are serious. As PPs have said, your DS may be a little too young yet and, to get him to stay, you have to put him back over and over again until he "gets it". I might wait a little longer before trying time outs.

Here's my approach: Correct DD, if she continues, ask "Do you want to go to time out?" - obviously once they understand what that is - if she doesn't stop, pick her up and take her to TO chair. Set a timer. If she is calm when timer goes off, I go talk to her. If not, I wait until she is calm. Once she is calm, I talk to her about why she is there. Now that she is older, I try to get her to tell me why she is there. After she understands why, I tell her I love her, give her a hug and tell her TO is over. I do not make her apologize, I just want her to understand what about her behavior was unacceptable. Often, she will apologize on her own.

[brittone2]

Sorry to hijack, but...question about the comfort corner. I just read through quickly, but I'm a little confused. It says that the CC should be away from the main living area, but the child should not be isolated. How does that work? I'm very interested in trying this. I don't send DD to TO very often. I am usually able to calm her down by sitting with her and talking to her/comforting her. However, when she is being outright awful - hitting, screaming, etc. - it seems the only thing that will work is to isolate her in order to remove attention from her behavior. If she is in all out crying, screaming mode, how do I make the CC work? I understand the concept of this teaching a skill, but do you think it really teaches that their behavior was unacceptable?

To OP - I find the CC concept very interesting. I don't like TO and only use it when really necessary. I feel that using only when you've tried everything else really gets the message across that you are serious. As PPs have said, your DS may be a little too young yet and, to get him to stay, you have to put him back over and over again until he "gets it". I might wait a little longer before trying time outs.

Here's my approach: Correct DD, if she continues, ask "Do you want to go to time out?" - obviously once they understand what that is - if she doesn't stop, pick her up and take her to TO chair. Set a timer. If she is calm when timer goes off, I go talk to her. If not, I wait until she is calm. Once she is calm, I talk to her about why she is there. Now that she is older, I try to get her to tell me why she is there. After she understands why, I tell her I love her, give her a hug and tell her TO is over. I do not make her apologize, I just want her to understand what about her behavior was unacceptable. Often, she will apologize on her own.

Some people do an area set up like a little fort (blanket over a table, a kid sized tent, one of those hanging types of canopies, etc.) in the main living area. It can just be a quiet(er) corner of the house. Some kids do better with a more private spot, some do better with being closer.

I personally think it works best if you get them to the CC when they are just starting to get grouchy/out of control. If it reaches massive escalation, sometimes I have to walk away too (for my own sanity) or send DS to his room...not for a set time, but until he feels in control of himself. He's pretty capable of doing this and coming out in a better state of mind.

In terms of things really getting to a melt down stage, some kids respond well to the bear hug portion of the 5 steps to help them get their bodies under control, but for some kids that much body contact is just too much, kwim?

I go through phases where I'm much better with using ideas like the CC and phases where I'm more likely to send DS to his room (not my ideal, but sometimes it is all I can handle). I am pretty convinced that he doesn't need to feel pain (emotional or physical) or punishment to have it be effective. I think it is a change in thinking...and believe me, when I first started reading at places like GCM I didn't get it or think it was possible. You end up having to repeat, repeat, repeat, etc. when they are in any phase. I'm not sure (in our case) that punishment squashes the undesired behavior any faster than talking to DS about it, for example.

GCM does have tips on "you hit, you sit" with kids, etc. They have info on their GD board about that.

DD is young and is/was more of a hitter/biter than DS was. If she hits/bites, I usually put her down and walk away and that works. If she hits DS, I wait until he calms down a bit and then I ask if he'll accept DD's apology. They usually end up hugging and she says she's sorry. I don't think punishing her with TO would end the occasional sibling squabbles any faster. Maturity, language development, etc. have helped reduce the hitting, and I think handling it as non-punitively as possible helps avoid some of the rivalry (JMO).

I don't use GCM ideas for everything, but that site and some books have really made me shift away from the paradigm that teaching a lesson must equal some sort of punishment in order to be effective.

[randomkid]

I don't use GCM ideas for everything, but that site and some books have really made me shift away from the paradigm that teaching a lesson must equal some sort of punishment in order to be effective.

Can you tell me some books that you like? I guess I'll have to read more at GCM. I've been interested, but have avoided it because I already spend too much time here and didn't want to get caught up in another board, KWIM? I'd really like some ideas on how to get DD to do what I'm asking her to do without threatening a consequence. She is very stubborn, so I find myself doing this many times a day. You know, if you don't do X, then you don't get to do Y. Or - if you don't do X, you'll lose a certain toy, TV, etc. It's very effective with her, but I don't like being so negative all the time.

Thanks

Edited for spelling

[brittone2]

I don't read at GCM much anymore other than when we hit a really sticky spot and I need some inspiration for alternative ways to handle things. I did a lot more reading there when DS was very young.

We do a lot of the 5 steps...basically say it and then make it happen, kwim? They refer to it as GYOB parenting (Get off your Butt Parenting, LOL).

Some of the tips from there that I've liked are saying what you want them *to* do vs. not do...young kids have a hard time thinking in the negative, so sometimes they only hear the 2nd half of what you are saying. They suggest it is better to tell DC what you want them to do vs. not do.

For something like cleaning up, from the time they are little, we tend to just say, it is time to do xyz. I give one other reminder. After that I ask if they want to do it alone or with my help. If they still aren't moving toward doing it, I will physically help them do it (not in a mean way, but it gets done). I'm not sure if that suits your situation, but I thought I'd toss that out there.

Some fav books:
Playful Parenting by Cohen. This one rocks. Truly. I find there's something good in there for all ages and every time I look back through it I get new ideas.
An oldie but goodie...Parent Effectiveness Training by Gordon. There is a followup that is good called P.E.T. in Action.
Anything by Faber/Mazlish
Raising your Spirited Child (even for the not so spirited kid this is good) I haven't read it yet, but she has a new one out called Kids, Parents and Power Struggles that is supposedly even better. I really want to read that one.
Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting is helpful in making a paradigm shift. His book focuses on why punishments/rewards aren't always that effective in the long run. Not always the post practical (the book is more about the psychology behind punishments/rewards) but thought provoking.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some but the GCM site also used to have a sticky up with some good book recommendations. I like GCM because it is free, and there are tons of *practical* real-life scenarios and suggestions, kwim? It gives me a lot of different tools to consider. When I feel stumped w/ a particular behavior/phase, I will do a search and I usually come up with some new ways to approach the issue. That helps me a great deal. I love that you see real life scenarios, and solutions/alternatives from real-life parents.

[bubbaray]

We started timeouts at age 2 with DD#1. Our daycare said any younger, there was no point. However, with DD#2, she would toddle over to the "time out step" (we have an open plan house, not really corners for time out) if we told her "no" or "naughty" (which we reserved for things like hitting the dog, etc). We only do about 20 seconds or so with her right now.

DD#2 thinks she's such a big girl when she gets a time out. Its kinda funny -- she has a huge smile when she's sitting there....

[maylips]

I'm probably hijacking this thread, but after reading your answers, what do you do with your DC when they openly disobey you?

My DD is generally a great kid 90% of the time but sometimes, if I take something away that she isn't supposed to play with, or tell her something she can't do, she will hit me. I will grab her hand and tell her to be gentle and she hits again - sometimes me again, sometimes whatever is close to hit. I'm feeling guilty now (after reading this thread) for putting her in her crib for 30 seconds or so but so far, even that little bit of time helps redirect her mind and attitude. However, if I ignore it, she keeps slapping/hitting. And she doesn't seem to forget if I just move on to something else. Make sense?

How do you handle those situations if you don't do time outs?

[JoyNChrist]

I'm probably hijacking this thread, but after reading your answers, what do you do with your DC when they openly disobey you?

My DD is generally a great kid 90% of the time but sometimes, if I take something away that she isn't supposed to play with, or tell her something she can't do, she will hit me. I will grab her hand and tell her to be gentle and she hits again - sometimes me again, sometimes whatever is close to hit. I'm feeling guilty now (after reading this thread) for putting her in her crib for 30 seconds or so but so far, even that little bit of time helps redirect her mind and attitude. However, if I ignore it, she keeps slapping/hitting. And she doesn't seem to forget if I just move on to something else. Make sense?

How do you handle those situations if you don't do time outs?

This is basically my problem too (our kiddos are the same age), and it's why I'm considering the time-out route. Avery has just started hitting when he's actually mad or when I tell him "no", and I'm just not sure how to address it.

[randomkid]

I'm probably hijacking this thread, but after reading your answers, what do you do with your DC when they openly disobey you?

My DD is generally a great kid 90% of the time but sometimes, if I take something away that she isn't supposed to play with, or tell her something she can't do, she will hit me. I will grab her hand and tell her to be gentle and she hits again - sometimes me again, sometimes whatever is close to hit. I'm feeling guilty now (after reading this thread) for putting her in her crib for 30 seconds or so but so far, even that little bit of time helps redirect her mind and attitude. However, if I ignore it, she keeps slapping/hitting. And she doesn't seem to forget if I just move on to something else. Make sense?

How do you handle those situations if you don't do time outs?

I wouldn't call 30 seconds in the crib a time out. It's a chance for your DD to calm down so she can be redirected. Sometimes, all you can do is walk away. Just tonight, I couldn't get DD settled down to go to sleep. She just kept whining and crying, so I left her in her bed and walked out. She settled down in about 30 seconds and I went back in. Then, she was ready to go to bed. I think there is a difference. A time out would use a specific location and you would call it such. Also, there has to be a set routine, IMO, for a TO to be effective. Kids need predictability. I think you are doing the right thing by removing your DD from a situation that fosters continued hitting. What you are doing sounds more like the Comfort Corner approach that Beth described.

[randomkid]

This is basically my problem too (our kiddos are the same age), and it's why I'm considering the time-out route. Avery has just started hitting when he's actually mad or when I tell him "no", and I'm just not sure how to address it.

Have you tried just walking away from him? When DD gets rude and nasty, we stop whatever we are doing with her and just walk away. They get the idea pretty quickly that you aren't going to stick around if they act that way. They want your attention and hitting you is a good way to get it. Remove the attention and the hitting is basically useless to them, KWIM?

[brittone2]

I'm probably hijacking this thread, but after reading your answers, what do you do with your DC when they openly disobey you?

My DD is generally a great kid 90% of the time but sometimes, if I take something away that she isn't supposed to play with, or tell her something she can't do, she will hit me. I will grab her hand and tell her to be gentle and she hits again - sometimes me again, sometimes whatever is close to hit. I'm feeling guilty now (after reading this thread) for putting her in her crib for 30 seconds or so but so far, even that little bit of time helps redirect her mind and attitude. However, if I ignore it, she keeps slapping/hitting. And she doesn't seem to forget if I just move on to something else. Make sense?

How do you handle those situations if you don't do time outs?
Here's the thing...at this age, I'm not sure how much punishment will influence things. They are too young to really exhibit the self control to stop themselves (and punishment isn't going to change that), and they aren't verbal enough to articulate their feelings/frustrations.

I also personally try to view it as us being on the same team. It doesn't mean being permissive (which is an easy trap to fall into), but it doesn't mean things have to be punitive. My job is to help DS/DD learn and grow. So if DD hits, I tell her hitting hurts. I may put her down and walk away for a few seconds (let her see that it truly *does* hurt me). If she hit regularly (she did at one time), I'd try to anticipate and move out of the way so that she didn't have a chance to hit me. I would give her the words to express her feelings so she has them as she gets older. "You are feeling angry. You are disappointed you can't have XYZ." It doesn't make much difference when they are 2, but as they get older, they start to be able to identify/verbalize their emotions better and you hope that they'll use those words. It is a skill to be able to identify those feelings, kwim? many adults can't identify accurately what they are feeling, or express their emotions verbally to others.

Some kids need a physical release when they are angry. By the time they are 18 months-2 years, you can probably start to model some alternatives for them (stomping feet, jumping up and down, etc.). Some people have a problem with those, but IMO, some kids (and frankly some adults ;) ) need that release to get out the big feelings inside. So you can show them some alternatives. I personally wouldn't expect an 18-24 month old to be able to come up with those on their own or use them in place of hitting, but if you model it as a more appropriate way of getting anger out, eventually they may use that instead of hitting.

PUtting DC in the crib for 30 seconds isn't a big deal IMO. Intentionally isolating as a way of punishing (as in, I want you to feel pain/sadness/being scared and left alone as a way of "teaching you a lesson" is different than "I'm going to put you down for a few seconds in a safe place so you can get control of your body, but i'm still right here" IMO)

Personally I would try to move toward viewing things as less adversarial...and I would try to not think of it as her openly and deliberately disobeying. IMO it is more likely that she is just displaying "big feelings" in an immature fashion. The only way she can get out those big feelings right now with a limited vocab (even if they have a lot of words, accessing those while feeling emotionally taxed isn't easy!) and a limited repertoire of ways to get out her frustration. They have minimal impulse control at this age, and all of the punishment/TO in the world won't necessarily make them develop it. It comes with time, kwim? In the meantime I think it helps if we identify/label their feelings, show them some more acceptable alternatives for getting those big feelings out/getting a release from that frustration, and try to move away/avoid getting hit in the first place when you can anticipate it coming.

There really is some great advice over at GCM. I don't read much over there anymore, but it always gives me a fresh and helpful perspective on what we can reasonably expect in terms of age-appropriate behavior, and what our long term goals are for our kids....how do we get them to learn to handle the big feelings that they'll have for the rest of their life?

eta: I've also read that it is helpful to show them the alternative ways of getting out anger when they aren't actually angry, since it is a little easier to communicate when they aren't in full out meltdown mode. You can practice ways to get their anger out without hurting someone else. (other suggestions I've seen at GCM are doing an "angry dance" or for older kids drawing a picture about how angry they are. Some kids respond better to something that gives a bigger physical release, some can handle drawing a picture, etc.)

[Happy 2B mommy]

This is basically my problem too (our kiddos are the same age), and it's why I'm considering the time-out route. Avery has just started hitting when he's actually mad or when I tell him "no", and I'm just not sure how to address it.

My DD is a few months older than yours. DD did a lot of pushing when she was mad at this age. It Completely stopped once she became more verbal and could 'use her words'. I didn't use TOs, just sat her in my lap, spoke very softly ('You are mad because you want the toy. But you aren't playing nicely, so you can't have it" repeat ad nauseum) and that would calm her down. I also used "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" methods with full-blown tantrums.

[elektra]

I also personally try to view it as us being on the same team.
I have been following this thread closely as I have a little one the same age as the OP, and we are going through similar things too. I just wanted to mention that the above quote really resonated with me. We have not done timeouts yet, mostly because what I have read so far on the topic has indicated that it's just too young to really be effective in stopping the behavior long term, or for the LO to really learn from the behavior. But I have been thinking about still trying the timeouts, mainly because DD is hitting the dogs/cat which I don't want to mess around with for DD's safety (the cat has already scratched her after getting its tail pulled).
However, I was thinking of the TO as more of a punishment to teach DD a lesson, but this "on the same team" concept was a real eye opener and I feel like I really want to use that as the mantra for any discipline tactic I try in the future.
So thanks!

[o_mom]

Here's the thing...at this age, I'm not sure how much punishment will influence things. They are too young to really exhibit the self control to stop themselves (and punishment isn't going to change that), and they aren't verbal enough to articulate their feelings/frustrations........




:thumbsup:

What a great post!

[wendibird22]

Karp's book The Happiest Toddler on the Block has a section on time outs. He suggests only using them for things like biting, hitting, etc. He suggests using a warning first and then timeout. He does suggest using a timer and for kids that aren't likely to stay seated in a timeout chair to use a crib or PNP. He suggests not talking/explaining to the child while the child is in timeout because they are likely too worked up to understand/hear you. He said even at a younger age (1-2yrs) timeout can be effective because what a child wants most is attention and your presence so removing them from a situation denies them of this.

He offers a lot of suggestions for redirection, time ins, praise/rewards, setting limits, etc.

[Sweet B's mommy]

We just started using timeout with DS 19 mos for hitting. I have two questions on how to handle the time out. 1) Should I do time out for an attempt to hit when he is frustrated or only when he makes actual contact and 2) DS has a tendency to hit when I am changing his diaper (taking it off) or when I am taking him out of the tube. Do I time out right then and there when he is without diaper or naked, or do I wait until he is somewhat clothed? I know if has to be immediately after the hit, but if he is naked? Any suggestions would be great. I know 19mos is a little young for time out, but we are trying to teach consequences. Any replies would be great!

[C99]

DS is a very well-behaved kid, and he usually listens to me, but he's also very active and determined - I guess you might say he's spirited.

I'd say he's just almost-2. I like Burton White's method for "discipline" at this age. Check out his book, How to Raise a Happy, Unspoiled Child for specifics. It's basically containment, but not a time-out per se.

[o_mom]

We just started using timeout with DS 19 mos for hitting. I have two questions on how to handle the time out. 1) Should I do time out for an attempt to hit when he is frustrated or only when he makes actual contact and 2) DS has a tendency to hit when I am changing his diaper (taking it off) or when I am taking him out of the tube. Do I time out right then and there when he is without diaper or naked, or do I wait until he is somewhat clothed? I know if has to be immediately after the hit, but if he is naked? Any suggestions would be great. I know 19mos is a little young for time out, but we are trying to teach consequences. Any replies would be great!

If you read through the whole thread you will find some great information on why time out isn't necessarily the best method for a 19mo and other options for teaching your toddler. I think this post in particular had some great info:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=2218792&postcount=22