Catholic school for non-Catholic kids?

[wellyes]

Does anyone here have kids in Catholic school who are not Catholic? My husband and I are both atheists who do not intend to raise our daughter with any religious beliefs. But I'm kind of digging the local Catholic school.
-- It's grades 7-12, which is coincidentally the same grades that aren't that great in the local public school (the elementary school is fantastic).
--It's a girl's school, and I would love for my DD to go to a single-sex institution for those formative years. I went to a women's college and it was a profoundly good experience for me.
-- Most of my cousins have gone to parochial school and my impression is that the schools have a high academic standard. Somehow in my mind parochial school = benefits of private school but less expensive.
-- They wear uniforms. I think that can be really freeing for pre-teen and teens, personally (I know many others disagree).

I know you don't have to be Catholic to go to Catholic school. I just wouldn't want her to be indoctrinated, or to feel left out. Just wondering what others' experiences have been.

My DD is still a baby, but this is on my mind because we're thinking of moving in the next few years due to schools. My neighborhood has a reputation for couples moving here to start a family, but moving out right before the kids hit school age due to perceived poor public middle- and high-schools. (I'm in Massachusetts outside of Boston, the schools seem to be pretty high-achieving to me, just not up to par in this hypercompetative environment).

Anyway, just wondering what others' experiences have been. Thanks!

[SnuggleBuggles]

My brother and SIL have this feeling that it is better to wait till those sorts of ages to send your child to a religious school if you don't practice that religion (or any religion) because the child will have had more time to think about the role of religion in their life. My family felt that they won't feel pressured to be involved in activities that they don't fell comfortable with. As a younger child they may have a harder time understanding the differences between what is being taught at home vs at school. My nephew went to a Catholic h.s. after attending an independent private school k-8. They chose it for cost and b/c of the academics and extracurriculars offered. DN did seem to not feel pressured by the religious aspect and just took religion classes and mass as a cultural learning experience.

Beth

[Ceepa]

I'm interested in this thread because my non-Catholic SIL sent her kids to a Catholic school for some of the reasons given and it bothered me. I never really sat down and figured out why it did I just felt something was disingenous about it. I'm Catholic, BTW. Maybe because her opinion was 'it's a great school, we just overlook the fact that it has a Catholic foundation.' As if the religious nature of the school was something she wouldn't have sought out, but could be acceptably tolerated because the quality of the curriculum. I'm not saying OP has the same opinion, though I thought some of her language was interesting like not wanting a child to be "indoctrinated." And
Somehow in my mind parochial school = benefits of private school but less expensive. and
My husband and I are both atheists who do not intend to raise our daughter with any religious beliefs. But I'm kind of digging the local Catholic school.

Parents should try to find the best quality education for their kids (especially if the public schools are terrible), there's just something that rubs me wrong about it personally.

[wellyes]

Hey, Ceepa, that's totally fair.

FWIW I have been baptized and confirmed, and my dad is very active in the lay ministry of his diocese (cantor & asst. funeral director). Although I'm no longer part of the church, I wouldn't consider sending my daughter to a Catholic school unless I had respect for the people & the faith, and wanted to raise her to feel the same way. But it is respect from an outsider's perspective. What I don't want is for her to be forced to study religion, except academically.

And your perspective is exactly what I'm asking about....not only would it be a good experience for her, but would it be appropriate?

[Ceepa]

I hope you are able to get the information you need to make the best choice possible for your family.

[LarsMal]

I taught in Catholic schools for five years before having kids. I had children in my classes who were not Catholic. The rule was that the children had to participate in religion classes, just like everyone else. They also had to attend Mass with us. Besides, that, though, there were no "requirements" of the non-Catholic students. They weren't forced to make sacraments or anything like that. Parents knew, understood, and respected this when they chose to send their to Catholic school. I guess if you are in that position, and weren't planning on "un-doing" everything your DD was taught, then it wouldn't be a problem. I think it's perfectly healthy to question religion, but I could see it becoming a problem if a student in the class questioned everything they were being taught, because it wasn't their belief at home- KWIM?

I'm sure schools vary, but in my experience, the students weren't responsible or required to do much outside of the classroom/curriculum. They had options- activities and such- but no requirements.

I am currently not a practicing Catholic- my experience working in Catholic schools ruined it for me!- and my husband is agnostic. I highly doubt we would consider sending our kids to Catholic school.

[kijip]

As someone that was raised Catholic and until recently attended the Catholic church, I don't think I would be willing to mix religion in with my child's education unless I was quite sure I was ok with the religious teachings of the school. I would send my children to a Catholic school before a Protestant denominated school I guess. And of the Catholic schools in town, there are a few I would not consider at all. Some for academic reasons (not all parochial schools are great academically- look carefully!) and a couple for religious community reasons...the parishes they are attached too are not ones I would join and if I would not join the parish, I would not send my child to be educated by them. There are a number of schools we would consider that are Catholic here and had he not been placed in one of our three public school selections, he'd be in a navy and white uniform now at the school affiliated with the parish we attended. As it turns out, our best option appears to be a public school moving forwards. The private schools here that offer the accelerated program that he would appear to benefit from are not religious.

As someone from a Catholic background, I have no issues with non-Catholics attending the schools, provided the parish families are all being served if they wish to send their children. I believe that for at least 1 of the big Catholic high schools here, most of the students are not from Catholic families. Most Catholic schools I am aware of teach religion classes, not limited to just religious instruction. I tend to see more tolerance than anything else being taught WRT religion at Catholic schools.

[gatorsmom]

DH and I are devout Catholic and I attended catholic schools all the way through college so I guess I"m not exactly objective, LOL. My parents sent my brother to a public school because they they didn't like a particular teacher and had a disagreement with the school board about it. He did well at public school.

To answer some of your questions from my perspective, YES, it was a huge relief wearing a uniform and not having to compete with clothes everyday. Of course there were still girls wearing the most expensive shoes, but one thing we all agreed on collectively at the time is we hated the uniform! LOL. But now I look back and am thankful for it. There were some friends at the time who received scholarships to attend our high school and probably would have been treated differently because of their clothes if they'd had to compete in that department.

As for the religious aspect of it, I was taught about Christ, the history of the Catholic church, the theory of creation that the bible teaches as well as Darwin's theory. I'm still close to many of my friends from elementary as well as high school. Many, many of us have taken different paths. Some are no longer Catholic, some are practicing a different Christian denomination, some are devout like me. I would say that none of us have felt indoctrinated or taught subjects differently than children of non-Catholic schools. I felt like I was given facts and dates and left to decide on my own. I have met people since I graduated who attended schools of different religious denominations who I couldn't say this of. I guess my point is that of all the religious schools your children could attend, I feel that Catholic schools are the least likely to incorporated their beliefs into subjects other than theology. Others may argue having had a different experience. But even with us being Catholic, i would NOT want my children to be taught incorrect or questionable material whose purpose is to convert them to our religion. As far as I'm concerned, they need to be taught the most modern, factual information as possible with the purpose of preparing them for any college they are interested in attending. The theological portion is a different topic all it's own.

It looks like I"m going to have to cut this short, but if you are really interested, you may want to speak to someone at the school you are interested in and find out what percentage of students are actually Catholic attending there. I know that at the Catholic high school we'd like to send our children to the percentage of students who consider themselves Catholic is only 40%.

gotta go. hth!

ETA: Now that DH got the boys out of the house I reread my post. It sounds kind of presumptuous about all religious-based schools and frankly not very well worded. I guess my point is that since I graduated from school I've discussed this same topic with a lot with many people of different backgrounds and faiths. I've never heard it said that Catholic school curriculums are created in any way to sway someone to the Catholic faith. I have heard that said about schools of other denominations. I guess I"m defending Catholic schools (not from any posters here) but I honestly wouldn't have posted if I didn't feel this were true. But of course, every school is different and should be considered on its own merits.

[KBecks]

I was brought up non religious and went to Catholic school for the 6th grade only. It was fine, but there is no question that I felt different because I was not Catholic. We attended a weekly Mass and so I did not receive communion, and I didn't know the prayers.

We had religion class but I don't remember that much of it. I remember having a friend teach me the Our Father because I just didn't know it and felt kind of dumb that my parents had not taught me. All in all it was not that big of a deal, but I was obviously different in that I was not Catholic. Our community was very homogenous and Catholicism was the dominant religion.

The school experience was fine. I had some friends, but I did have some of the new kid to school hard time of finding what girls to play with.

My parents decided it wasn't worth it and so I went to 7th and 8th and high school at public school. For them 6th seemed to be the trial year of whether I would go public or private for the remainder of my education. I don't know exactly why they decided to experiment with Catholic school, but perhaps it was similar to your feelings about liking an all-girls high school as the ending of the private school path. In reality, it was good for me to go to public school, the private girls' high school would have been a longer commute.

ETA: Ironically I ended up becoming Catholic in my late 20's but it had absolutely NOTHING to do with my one year of Catholic education when I was 12.

A girlfriend has her two kids at our suburban Catholic school and she says she feels a division between the Catholic families and the "rich families" who are seeking the private education. I know she feels frustrated by it, but I'm not sure exactly what has caused that for her.

For our kids education, I'm not particularly sold on Catholic schools because they are Catholic. Our oldest is going to a private Montessori preschool and we plan to have him there through Kindergarten. Then we will step back and look at ALL the schools (public, Montessori, private Lutheran and private Catholic) and see what feels like the best fit. Rinse and repeat for high school. Options of public high school or several private high schools.

[ellies mom]

We are seriously considering sending our girls to Catholic schools. DH was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school for several years although he is not practicing now. I'm not Catholic but was raised around it so I'm fairly comfortable with the idea. Plus we would be exposing our daughters to both denominations at some point anyways.

Personally, I prefer public schools but will do what it takes to ensure my daughters get a quality education.

[specialp]

The local Catholic High School in my area is highly regarded and many non-Catholics attend. It is not a big issue - at least on the Catholic side and I am assuming it is not a big issue on the non-Catholic side since so many choose to send their kids there. Those who may be rubbed the wrong way are in the minority. Our parish Priest teaches at the school and really appreciates the thoughtfulness of the discussions & lectures that the "mixed faith" group generates. I'm sure no one wants a heckler in the class (any class, relgious based or not) whose soul mission in life is to shoot down everything you say, but that is certainly different than the discussions that happen when you bring in people from diffent walks of life (whatever those difference may be).

As others said, I would be more worried about your comfort level as DDs will be exposed to religion. If your comfortable with that, I'm sure DDs will be, too. If this school is a good fit, I'm sure it will be a good experience.

[trales]

Our Catholic School had a lot of Muslim girls in it. Their parents felt more comfortable with the morals, uniform etc. than at the public school even with the religious aspect.

I worked at an Episcipol school that had kids of all faiths. I had a Jewish friend growing up that went to Catholic High School.

It can be a good fit for anyone.

[lmush]

My husband is a Catholic Elementary School Principal. I would recommend that you contact the school & share with them what you shared with us. He does have non Catholic students. All of his students do attend Mass once a week but I remember when I went to school, there was a student who stayed in the office during Mass. Let me know if you have any questions.

Laura

[StantonHyde]

I am looking into having my kids go to a Catholic School. I am Quaker (raised Episcopalian) so I don't have an issue with religion being taught. My poor husband was raised in a completely nonreligious household and when we went to Italy on our honeymoon, he could not understand anything in the Cathedrals. I'm standing there saying, ummm that's Moses and the bullrushes. So even if you are nonreligious, it is VERY important that kids learn about religion from a cultural relevance point--it is difficult to study literature without it, for example.

My son is now in K at the JCC and I have no issue with shabbat and celebration of Jewish holidays. As with Catholicism, if my son comes home and talks about something that doesn't jive with our beliefs, then it can become a talking point. (not exactly gonna happen when he is 6 and religion is just learning about being a good person) I teach my son to respect, acknowledge, and learn from all faiths so I enjoy having him exposed to different faiths.

A friend of mine has a 13 yo in Catholic school and theology class has been an interesting opportunity to discuss many issues--masturbation anyone?? The Catholic HS in our city has the most liberal, comprehensive sex/adult education class of any school here.

As for not feeling included, if kids start at a young age, they will learn prayers etc. If they start later, then someone needs to take the time to teach them the basics. While other friends are celebrating their first communion, that is a chance to talk about how we support our friends in their faith.

One issue you may want to consider, is what would you do if your child embraced Catholicism? Could you support her in that? There was one family at the parent info night I attended that just basically said they have not, and do not intend to, raise their daughter in any religious tradtion and they were concerned that the school would be "too religious". To which I wanted to say, duh, its a Catholic school. That child did not get accepted.

[wellyes]

So much good, useful feedback here, I'm so glad for this site and the things I learn from it!


My poor husband was raised in a completely nonreligious household and when we went to Italy on our honeymoon, he could not understand anything in the Cathedrals. I'm standing there saying, ummm that's Moses and the bullrushes. So even if you are nonreligious, it is VERY important that kids learn about religion from a cultural relevance point--it is difficult to study literature without it, for example.

ITA. Understanding the basic tenets of the major religions should be basic cultural literacy - and I'm confident that the Catholic schools would give a good academic background for them all - less confident that a public school would.

[doberbrat]

I dont think its an issue to send a child to a school of a different faith than your own- a Muslim attending a Christian School, A Christian attending a different denomination or a Jewish school etc.

It can easily become a 'talking point' about explaining the differences in your religion vs theirs. Esp since fundamentally, there are alot of similarities in the very basics of the religions.

But I do think it might be difficult to be raised w/o any religion or belief in a G-d and then being sent to a religious school.

I went to a Catholic school for most of my life and someone asking about the differences between 2 religions would never have been a problem but a child who came to class saying there is no G-d would not have been thought well of. other schools may be more progressive etc but thats how it was in ours. (a million years ago of course!)

[jd11365]

It can easily become a 'talking point' about explaining the differences in your religion vs theirs. Esp since fundamentally, there are alot of similarities in the very basics of the religions.


But there are definite differences. The New Testament does not exist at all for Jewish people. So it's quite difficult to tell a very young Jewish child what they are learning is not true or did not happen, if that is what you believe. I'm in this position now with my 5 year old not understanding why I prefer she not wear a cross around her neck.

If you are atheist, be prepared to answer a lot of hard questions. Know it's very hard to tell a young child this is how some people believe, but we don't. And while it's lovely to want to bring an appreciation of all faiths to your children, and I respect that as we are a multi-faith household, it's very difficult to do when they are so young and you are trying to fundamentally instill your own particular beliefs at the same time.

This isn't just my opinion but my personal experience. Hope that helps!

[erosenst]

As with many things, my answer is "it depends". By way of background, we're Jewish, and plan to send Abby to the excellent public schools in our town. But the high school has 4000+ students, which may or may not be an issue for her.

If it is an issue, we'll likely send her to an equally excellent Jesuit high school relatively near us. Conversely, the only prohibition (about anything) in our will says that she can not attend the Charismatic Catholic high school near my BIL and SIL who would be guardians. (Actually, it says she can't attend the Orthodox grade school either, now that I think about it!) Academically the Charismatic Catholic school is the strongest school in their city...but we strongly disagree with the theology they teach, the fact that girls and boys are separated in 9th grade and above because girls don't need as good of an education and/or may distract from the boys' education, etc. (It's actually the same reason she can't go to the Orthodox school, interestingly...)

And the two other Catholic high schools in their area aren't strong enough that there are very many non-Catholics, so that wouldn't be a choice either. (Although that's not in our will :))

Net, I'd schedule a meeting with the principal, ask how many other non-Catholics attend, ask if you can speak with other parents of non-Catholics, etc. G/L with your decision -

Emily

[gatorsmom]

But there are definite differences. The New Testament does not exist at all for Jewish people. So it's quite difficult to tell a very young Jewish child what they are learning is not true or did not happen, if that is what you believe. I'm in this position now with my 5 year old not understanding why I prefer she not wear a cross around her neck.

If you are atheist, be prepared to answer a lot of hard questions. Know it's very hard to tell a young child this is how some people believe, but we don't. And while it's lovely to want to bring an appreciation of all faiths to your children, and I respect that as we are a multi-faith household, it's very difficult to do when they are so young and you are trying to fundamentally instill your own particular beliefs at the same time.

This isn't just my opinion but my personal experience. Hope that helps!

I wanted to say that I have 2 mommy friends with boys the same age as mine that we get together with all the time. We are Catholic, they are Baptist and Lutheran. Ok, yeah they are both Christian denominations but they (especially the Baptist denomination) are VERY different from Catholicism and leave out/don't believe it some major points that we do. So, in that respect I understand what you mean.

When it comes to our boys asking questions (because we are all devoutly practicing our beliefs), there are always questions. But I explain them at a very simple but factual level. For example if I were you explaining the New Testament to a Jewish child, I would simply say that these are letters written by men 2000 years ago. They were talking about a man named Jesus. Some people believe he is really important, some people believe he is just another man like any other. This is what your father and I believe......This is how I explain tenants of our faith that our friends don't believe in. Then I put an emphasis on our beliefs. ;)

It might be confusing for them as they are young but I think they will look for clarity as they get older and start to understand more. I don't know anyone who continuted to believe whole-heartedly what they were taught about God as a child and didn't have some questions later. jmho

About wearing a cross necklace, you could simply explain that the cross is a symbol that Christians wear. The star of David is the symbol that Jews wear and maybe buy her one to wear. (I'm assuming from your post that you are Jewish. I'm sorry if I'm mistaken. Please forgive me if I'm mistaken). I don't think I'd be too upset if my child wanted to wear the symbol of another faith since we don't believe in it and it carries no significance for us. But I can understand how others may be concerned about that.

[MelissaTC]

My husband and I attended Catholic schools from, elementary through high school. He also attended a Catholic college for undergrad. We send our son to a Catholic K-8 school. He attends mass once a week, prays daily and has learned so much about Catholicism and God in general. He comes home telling me a lot of things that have me kind of scratching my head at times (I joke that sometimes I am the non-Catholic Catholic if that makes sense). I would wonder how that would go over in a home that does not believe in a supreme being.

DH is not a fan of our local public school system and we lucked out that this school has an excellent academic program as well as many or more educational opportunities/technology than our public school. He loves it. I admit that dressing him in a uniform is quite easy. I enjoy the size (2 classes per grade in the lower grades; 3 in the middle school program) of the school and like knowing that the Principal/Teachers/Parents know who he is and value him being a part of the community. We live 550 miles away from our families and it is nice to have the support system.

I am also a big believer in respecting and accepting world religions and that can rub some the wrong way. I am also socially liberal and in some Catholic circles, there is issue with that. But I talk to DS about what I believe and what our family values in addition to what he may learn at school. Ultimately, it is DH and I that will hold the responsibility of what he becomes and I want him to also reflect our family values, even if they differ from the Catholic faith.

HTH! I think our school is great and could care less if the student sitting next to him was Catholic or not- it is a great school!

[heatherlynn]

This thread is good timing for me! We're looking into Kindergarten for DS for next year and we're probably going to send him to Catholic school, for a few reasons.

1. DH & the kids are catholic. My grandma is a devout Catholic, and my mom was raised Catholic, but converted to Presbyterian when she married my dad (I'm presbyterian).

2. DH went to Catholic school, and is very religious, in the best way (imo). He's very forgiving, kind, generous. He's also very knowledgeable about religion, Catholicism obviously, but Islam and Judeism as well.

3. The public schools here are whacked out, imo. K (and sometmes 1st) go to one school. 1-4 go to another, 5-6, 7-8, then high school, all different. Too many transitions. The Catholic schools are K-8. I'm not happy with all the transitions my older DD has gone (will go) through.

I don't mean this to come across snarky, so I really hope it doesn't. But it seems strange to me to attend a Catholic school when you're not Catholic. Again, I hope that doesn't come across the wrong way. I'm just sort of puzzled by it.

[lmwbasye]

Hmm...well I will just say that I was raised Catholic and attended a Catholic school from K - 8. We had 3 (of 12 students in the class) kids that were non-Catholic. It was never an issue, at least from a peer standpoint (they were a part of the 12 as much as the others).

I will add that because (at least I believe) of my Catholic schooling, I am no longer a practicing Catholic. The fact that it was a subject, complete with quizzes, tests, etc. took all the religious aspect out of it for me, I guess. I am a practicing Lutheran now for various reasons.

FWIW...my sister and brother also attended the same school and still attend Catholic church.

[almostmom]

This is just one story, but I feel I have to share it, as I recently learned about it. Just to add to your volume of information:

A coworker of mine sent her son to a local private Catholic High School (in Massachusetts). She is Catholic, her husband is Jewish, and their kids have been both baptized/confirmed (I believe these are the right terms!) and bar mitvahed. They sent him there because of some of the programs offered, which were of strong interest to him, and not offered at his public high. Unfortunately, her son was a victim of anti-semitism (by other students) at the school for two years, and the school was not responsive. He is now at the public school in their town. This was obviously very traumatic to the whole family.

I am in no way saying that this is the norm! I'm sure it is not. But it did happen, and I thought I should share. For me, personally, I would be cautious about choosing to put my child in a situation where they were inherently different. Teen years are hard enough! And in this case, the boy was raised with Catholic values as part of his religious upbringing.

Personally, I am Jewish, but pretty much an atheist. I feel uncomfortable sending my kids to a place where they will be learning about religious doctrine at a young age, because in my opinion, as someone who doesn't believe, I feel like any sort of teaching about a higher power is indoctrination. At an older age, I do think it is different, though it is hard for me to know as my own kids are still young, and they are my blackboard for how kids grow and learn. On the other hand, I love learning and reading about religion and spiritual practices. But I would be wary of sending my child to a place, a school no less, where they inherently didn't fit in on such a basic level. I guess I would find out how many non-Catholics go to the school. Where I grew up in western MA, there was a parochial Catholic school in the city next to us. I never really thought of it as religious (though it might have been more than I knew), and we always played against them in sports. My guess is that there were many kids there who weren't Catholic, but I don't know.

Anyway, that's a lot of babble, but just wanted to add my two cents.

[Fairy]

Alot of it depends on where you live. In the city of Chicago proper, there are alot of kids of different faiths at Catholic schools, because they're among the best, and few people actually send their kids to the "district" school they're in. Chicago is the epitome of diverse. There are alot of neighborhoods of just Poles and just Mexicans and just Jews, sure. But few people in Chicago don't know anything about the other cultures that live there. So, in the Catholic schools, there's diversity and an understanding that not everyone there is there for the religious offering. Of course, it absolutely depends on the school. But from a tolerance perspective, I think you have to take the area you live in into account. As a Jew, I'd be totally fine sending my DS to Catholic school. However, we live in the burbs and are interfaith, so we're fine in the public school.

[JenaW]

You may also want to look into how "Catholic" the school actually is, as they can vary greatly (i.e. a pp example of a local Catholic school with the "most liberal sex ed program"). We are strongly devout, practicing Catholics and my oldest goes to a very conservative Catholic school (with nuns still teaching some of the classes!). While I am fairly certain there ARE non-Catholics attending, I am not sure why someone who does not share the Catholic faith would want their child surrounded by it. That said, I think the school (and most Catholic schools in general) do a good job of teaching tolerance of other religions, which as other posters have pointed out, not all Christian schools do (many Christian faiths are anti-Catholic, for example). I also think Catholic schools do a great job of teaching respect (for oneself, life, authority, elders, etc). We chose to go outside the public district and outside the diocese for this school specifically because it is so conservative and in line with our views. At the Catholic school where my children attended pre-school last year, one could hardly tell it was Catholic. When my DD asked why they were not making the sign of the Cross before saying Grace, she was told they did not do that at school. The teacher later explained to me that she did not want to offend the large number of non-Catholic Christians attending. Um, hello, it IS a Catholic school. If they are offended by Catholic practices, perhaps they should consider another school! I certainly do not expect all Christians (or ANY persons for that matter) to practice their faith the way I do mine, but if you are sending your children to a Catholic school than I do not think you should get offended if they are learning Catholic practices! My son's entire day (he is currently in Kindergarten) is filled with references to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Blessed Mother, etc. This is not just limited to "religion class." In the older grades this may differ, as I can not see too many religious references during Calculus! I am not trying to discourage you in any way. I am very proud of my Catholic education, which is why I have gone to such great lengths to ensure that my children get one too. I am honored that so many people think so highly of Catholic schools in general, and pleased by their reputation. I just want to point out that (as with ANY school) I am sure there are variations, and you just want to be aware of what you are signing (your child) up for.

~J

[C99]

She will be indoctrinated and she will probably feel left out. JMO based on my own experience. I was raised Episcopalian by two ex-Roman Catholics. We lived 1/2 block from the Roman Catholic church in our town and although I attended public school, I always felt left out because my friends went to CCD and did other church-related things. It seemed liked I was the only one not going to that stuff.

DS1 went to Roman Catholic Montessori preschool last year and came home talking about Jesus, God, the cross, the priests. Oh -- and my favorite: how he had to save the babies (abortion). I was NOT happy. Granted, a 12-year-old is less impressionable than a 5-year-old, but it left a bad, bad taste in my mouth.

[kijip]

You may also want to look into how "Catholic" the school actually is, as they can vary greatly

I am not quite sure I understand how one Catholic school can be considered more or less so than others? They are all run by one church/archdiocese or another. I have academic and other issues with certain parochial schools around here that would make the school an inappropriate pick for my family but I don't think any one of them is more or less Catholic than any other.

[sste]

I know this isn't what you are asking about but I would look at the school's endowment and how much they pay their teachers. I have had friends/relatives who have attended top-rate Catholic schools - - however, I think that there are many, many Catholic schools out there that are so seriously underfunded that it compromises the academics. Private school is not automatically better than public school - - it is really location specific and buyer beware. My sister is an elementary school teacher who was offered HALF of the salary that she currently makes at a public school to teach at a Catholic school. She literally could not have afforded to live without welfare assistance on that salary. If she had taken that job it would only have been for a year or so to get experience and move on. I am not trying to knock the goal of Catholic education - - its just that without tax support and given the relatively low tuition, its hard for many of these schools to hire great teachers and retain them.

[gatorsmom]

I am not quite sure I understand how one Catholic school can be considered more or less so than others? They are all run by one church/archdiocese or another. I have academic and other issues with certain parochial schools around here that would make the school an inappropriate pick for my family but I don't think any one of them is more or less Catholic than any other.

One Catholic school can be more observant of Catholic practices than another, absolutely. Just as there are HUGE differences between parishes. My parish is extremely liberal- they do not touch the "hot button" topics for fear of insulting anyone who doesn't agree with the tenants of the church. For example they do not discuss encyclicals preaching contraception, they do not discuss embryonic stem cell research, no emphasizing that women should not be priests, etc., for fear of upsetting someone who doesn't agree. OTOH, a parish about 30 miles from here has two of the best known Catholic Theologians in the US. They are very often holding well-attended seminars about some of the most conservative tenants of the church. This is a very different atmosphere from our parish's.

My boys have only been going to preschool at our parish's school since September but already I see some differences from the Catholic school I attended. The school I attended started teaching us prayers for memorization at a very early age. My sons are being taught "fun" prayers (instead of the traditional "Bless us, O Lord, for these thy gifts..." they are taught, "Thank you, Lord for the food in our tummy that tastes so yummy. Amen." This is different from the Catholic school my friend's daughter attends 15 miles from here too. So, yeah, some Catholic schools can be more devout and incorporate more of the Catholic tradition in their everyday activities. I guess you could say they are more "Catholic" in that sense and less secular.

[kijip]

So, yeah, some Catholic schools can be more devout and incorporate more of the Catholic tradition in their everyday activities. I guess you could say they are more "Catholic" in that sense and less secular.

I see what you are saying, but I think that being more devout is different than being more or less Catholic. We attended a Jesuit run church, the theology had some slight differences and the culture was a bit different, but it (and the attached school) is not more or less Catholic than any other in town, be it the most liberal or most conservative parish. FWIW, not all famous or highly regarded Catholic theologians are conservative theologians. Like any other denomination I think is is fair to say that Catholicism is not a homogenous group of people who all believe 100% exactly the same thing. Of course, you know that first hand from your background and parish membership. :wink2:

[gatorsmom]

Like any other denomination I think is is fair to say that Catholicism is not a homogenous group of people who all believe 100% exactly the same thing.

This is exactly what I was trying to say. Every parish is different. I was just trying to explain what I think JeraW meant when she suggested the op look into how Catholic a school is. I think what she meant was to what extent the school integrates Catholic traditions into their activities and curriculum. Are they saying funny prayers or are they already incorporating the rosary into their day in kindegarten?

[Soccermom08]

I am a non-catholic who attended a catholic all girls high school. I was very happy with my experience and wouldn't choose to change it. If the situation arises when my DC gets to school age I would think about.

Yes, they do require you to take religion class and yes you do attend Mass but you are not forced into the catholic religion. Religion stayed in religion class but is the foundation of the institution-so if you are considering raising your child atheist you need to consider that. I received a great education, had a lot of friends from all backgrounds, and didn't feel out of place because I was not catholic. If I remember correctly religion class crossed into a wide area of personal expression not just about God and Jesus. I was raised christian so that might have made it easier for me to adapt but school never swayed me from my beliefs to the Catholic beliefs

I loved/hated the uniform. It was very freeing not to have to think about what I was going to wear each morning and if it was socially acceptable. I also loved going to an all girls school it took away some of the social stress and put the emphasis back on learning.

From a non-catholic, well educated individual catholic education was a great experience. BUT don't give up on the public school system-If we work together as a community our public schools can be great!

~C

[JenaW]

I think what she meant was to what extent the school integrates Catholic traditions into their activities and curriculum. Are they saying funny prayers or are they already incorporating the rosary into their day in kindegarten?

Thanks for clarifying. Lisa is right. For me, choosing a school that does incorporate more religion into everyday activities was important. However, for the OP, who is not Catholic, a school that is more liberal or one that places less of an emphasis on religion may suit her family better. It was wrong to imply that such a school would be LESS Catholic (or that people that attend there are less Catholic).

J

[carolinamama]

I am sure it depends on the school involved, but I (and my siblings) were/are not Catholic and went to a Catholic school as kids. It was a positive experience when public school in the area didn't work out for us. This particular school was run more like a private school with religion classes and the occasional mass (holidays and such).

A good school is a good school and my belief is that just because you are not practicing a particular religion, it doesn't hurt to be exposed to it from an educational standpoint as long as they are not singled-out for not being Catholic. Does that make sense?